2 And 1/2 Year Old Little Girl Refuses to Potty Train!

Updated on November 01, 2010
M.B. asks from Woodstock, GA
13 answers

Anyone else go thru this? I started introducing the potty after my lo got a potty last christmas. We had another little girl in April so i waited until we settled in to our new routine before we went any further. I let her walk around naked and tossed her on the potty when she started to go. I praised her and gave her a tiny chocolate piece and made a big deal about it. Seemed to scare her more than anything. I bought elmo's potty time dvd because she loves elmo. She watched it all the time for a while but still didn't want to use the potty. She has food allergies but is allowed oreo's which of course she loves. I put a bag on the tv and tell her she can have a cookie when she pee pees in the potty, no go. I tried pull ups a couple of times but i can't tell when she has to pee. I let her pick out big girl panties but she doesn't want to wear them. She clearly says, " no wear big girl panties" and " no go pee pee on the potty". I have never forced her to try to go. Just gently encouraged her and let her go with me when i go and i talk to her about whats going on. We flush her poo poo and wave bye bye and she flushes. She has asked to go potty a couple of times but only when she is delaying nap or bedtime. She does then sit on the potty for a few seconds and says all done and then goes to bed. One day she did wear the panties and i would notice her pants all wet and know she has peed, but she never said anyting to me. So i guess it didn't bother her to be wet. She does pull at her diaper when she is pooping and finally will say yes when i asked her if she pooped. She used to say no even though she clearly had gone. I know i can't force her to do this. Any advice? Please feel free to share your experiences that are similiar, esp if your story ends with....and now they are potty trained!!!! thx and sorry soooo long

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A.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

When my youngest was about 2 1/2 she too was stubborn about not wanting to starting using the potty. Out of exasperation one day I asked her "when are you going to use the potty?" She said "when I'm 3" and true to her word, she started using the potty and gave up diapers on her 3rd birthday and never looked back. She just really enjoyed the power to make that decision for herself, I guess.

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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

The best way to get a child potty trained is to let them tell you when they are ready. When you 'encourage' a child too often that actually 'discourages' them. If you let it go completely you may find her just going without your assistance or she may ask you to help her when she is ready, at least that's what my kids did. It was never a hassle for them or me. And they never had an accident which makes them feel confident. If you constantly have to encourage her & she has accidents & denies having an accident, then you possibly are making her feel like a failure.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

She's not interested and not ready. Wait 6 months and try again.

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V.B.

answers from Houston on

It doesn't sound to me like she is ready. You want this more than she does and it's never going to happen that way. I will tell you from experience training my daughter that by pushing it in any way, shape or form will only backfire on you. My daughter was fully trained for months (I also waited to start until AFTER the birth of baby brother) and then regressed and started going in her pants simply because she didn't want to stop playing to go (her words). I was furious! I tried punishments, rewards, making her clean herself up, you name it. It ended up becoming a control issue and there are two things you can't make kids do....pee or poop in the potty and eat. Making either of those issues a battle will get you absolutely nowhere fast. She eventually got the hang of it again when I amped up the reward, but it had to be when SHE wanted to do it and that was SO hard for me to accept. We were beyond the point of going back to diapers, so we just had to wait it out. Looking back, I truly believe that if I hadn't made such a big deal out of it at the time, it would never have lasted as long. It became a power struggle and she knew she could win. My son is now almost 2 1/2 and we talk about the potty and he sits on it when he wants to, but I refuse to force the issue because I will not go down that road again. All it did was frustrate and upset everyone involved. I would continue to reward her when she does it, but until she is more consistent with it, I would not make it a big deal. Once you feel like she has the hang of it, then you can play up the big girl panties and go from there. I wish you the best of luck. It was a very frustrating time for me and for my daughter and I hope to have better success with my son in that he will do it on his timetable and it won't be a power struggle. Stress free potty training (if there is such a thing) is my goal this time around! Good luck!

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M.A.

answers from Houston on

Your DD sounds just like mine did. I tried and tried. Then gave up. I then started every Monday, "do you want to pee in the potty?",no, "do you want to wear big girl underwear?",no,....after about 7 or 8 weeks of "Mondays"....FINALLY!!!! "Do you want to pee in the potty?", YES, "Do you want to wear big girl underwear?". YES.
She was just past 3....NEVER has had an accident, night or day. The ONLY thing that HAS happened is her laughing hysterically and a few drops were in her "unnawears" (as she calls them)....I dont even count that....
BELIEVE ME!!! Wait til she's READY....you will save you AND your daughter a whole lotta grief!!!!

Good Luck!!!!

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

Our daughter was not interested until after she was 3. She is the one that asked to go..
I had tried encouraging before with no results, so just decided to follow her lead, Sure enough in 10 days she was trained.. Hardly any accidents .. Sometimes, I have read on here that moms have worked with their kids for 6 months even a year! What is the point? Just wait till your daughter is ready and it will happen so much quicker..

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D.S.

answers from Tulsa on

sounds like she doesnt know the feeling with the action yet. dont rush and she will be potty trained by the time she graduates. :) I love that expression cause its so true. sounds like she isnt quite ready yet

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L.C.

answers from Houston on

My daughter was potty trained just before her third birthday, but continued to have consistent accidents for a year later. She still has accidents because she waits until the last second before she goes to the potty and she'll be 5 in February. I'm wanting to train my 2 1/2 year old son now. I tried the one where you potty train in one day with lots of treats and the focus is on staying dry and clean instead of going to the potty. My little guy couldn't have cared less whether he or his teddy bear's training pants were wet or dry. Potty training is on a hiatus right now, and I really thought he was ready! Maybe back off for a while. It will happen eventually : )

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L.S.

answers from Spokane on

It sounds like she's not ready yet. I'd buy some pull-ups and wait till she starts telling you when she needs to go or asking to be changed. All kids are different and 2 1/2 is still a toddler. I say let HER lead on this one, even if it means you have 2 in diapers for a little while longer :)

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P.S.

answers from Macon on

I agree with Lynn M. I waited until my son and daughter were 3 years old, before potty training. I didn't have any trouble at all.

L.M.

answers from Dover on

A lot of kids don't potty train until they are 3. For her, it may just be too early. My daughter started potty training shortly before turning three but had some issues early on. My 3 she was mostly trained but several accidents. Once she decided she was ready (3yd 2 mo), she has had very little accidents or issue (the biggest issue has been that sometimes she waits to long to head to the bathroom). She will be 4 on Dec 4th. Just be patient.

Updated

A lot of kids don't potty train until they are 3. For her, it may just be too early. My daughter started potty training shortly before turning three but had some issues early on. My 3 she was mostly trained but several accidents. Once she decided she was ready (3yd 2 mo), she has had very little accidents or issue (the biggest issue has been that sometimes she waits to long to head to the bathroom). She will be 4 on Dec 4th. Just be patient.

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J.M.

answers from Atlanta on

Have you tried a potty training doll? Potty Patty is one and you let her "drink" her bottle (which I would prefer a sippy cup) but then you set her on the potty and raise her arm, and that releases the "pee" and when you take Patty off the potty, she has gone to the bathroom! :) Just thinking if you have tried everything - I have a daughter who is 28 months and we are almost potty trained while awake, but I am doubtful on nap and bedtime to happen for a while! :) But I'm with ya!

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J.C.

answers from Columbus on

I had almost the exact same experience. We did all of the "right" things when our oldest was around 2 1/2. However, she just either didn't get it or didn't want to get it. I knew in the back of my mind that developmental age range for potty training goes way into the third year. So, I didn't stress too much. However, every once in awhile that thought that every other two year old was potty trained kept seeping in and I would stress and put some more pressure on and she would rebel. Finally, she said that she was never going to use the potty and always wear diapers. So, I just let it go. I let her wear diapers. I decided she was going to let me know when she was ready and now was not the time. Our daughter turned three in May. She started preschool in September with a diaper on and from the first day of preschool on she used the potty at school, but wanted diapers at home. This was progress, but was still frustrating. One Saturday, about four weeks ago, she peed out of her diaper. I told her that it really didn't make sense to wear a diaper if it was going to go everywhere. She agreed and went and put on a pair of underwear and she has been using the potty ever since. I did buy her a doll of her choice once she pooped on the potty and she still sometimes asks for rewards for peeing or pooping on the potty, which I usually give. So, my advice to you is don't worry. She will get there. Keep the little potty out. Keep the panties available. Keep talking about it. It will happen.

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