2 1/2 Year Old Suddenly Terrified to Sleep in Crib...

I think it would be a good time to get her a big girl's bed, new bedding and maybe even paint and redo her room.
She will be three years old soon and would enjoy picking out her sheets and comforter, etc. The elephants left with the crib leaving the room. If you are keeping the crib perhaps cover it up in the garage or wherever so she doesnt' have to see it. Ask her if she wants to see the elephant again so she can see it didn't come home with her.I would look at the library or a book store for books to read with kids that have fears. I know it is common for kids to have different kinds of fears.
F.

Sometimes my son gets "monkeys" in his bed. We have a ritual where we drum on the bed and yell "SHOO SHOO!" Scares them right out of the house every time - LOL!

Have you considered transitioning her to a big girl bed? I've also heard about using inexpensive scented body sprays (repackaged into spray bottles appropriately labeled) to scare away whatever is scaring them. Or maybe get her a guardian stuffed elephant to watch over and protect her from the mean elephants?

Before you went back to the spot to see the elehant in person again, I would recommend slowly getting her more comfortable with the idea of elephants first. Getting an elephant stuffed animal for her, getting a storybook from the library about a friendly elephant, and talking about real vs. pretend elephants, where elephants live (in other countries, the zoo, etc., what they like to eat (fruits and veggies)and how they don't hurt people. I would then rent a kids informational video from the library about elephants and then talk about visiting the 'pretend' elephant again or even going to the zoo to see the nice, quiet, 'real' elephants. Good luck! Hope this helps!!

I am no therapist but this stood out to me

she is bright, vivid, sensitive, and she is ready to transition out of crib for certain, is experiencing anxiety, is away from you during the day if you are working full time, is expressing her needs in her sweet little confused way..

I would encourage her to talk about the elephant, ask her what she wants, cuddle her, move her into her toddler or big girl bed, go to a good zoo, get her books on Animals,
a cuddly elephant, record a show and know this is about needing you...

Children always needs us and this age is very expressive an very real. Wonderful she is trying to tell you.

peace

Greetings J.: You do have a serious situation for yourself and your little one. This is all very real to your child not make believe. Having several children and grandchildren I have seen this happen before with other things.
Since Elephants are often behind a cage setting there are bars of somekind to protect the visitors your little one may be thinking that she is inside the cage.
Have you considered taking the rails off the crib, or what we did at one point was made a pile of quilts like a nest and had our little one sleep like " Big Bird" in a nest, on the floor or you could have the rails off and have the nest in the crib. It helped our problem alot. Another thing we have done is gotten a cuddley form of the animal and have them put it into a box or bed before they went to bed so they were given the power of knowing the scarey thing is where they put it and they are safe. Good Luck, I hope this doesn't last long and you have a happy little one soon. Nana G

My 2 and a half year old went through something like this with spiders and bugs in her bed. We picked books about cartoon bugs and we found bugs and held them etc so that they weren't scary. Then her fear turned to shadows in the room. She loves Cinderella so I had her use her "Magic wand" to say "Bippety bobbity boo" and change what ever scares her into "nice" things. This seemed to work pretty well so far. The other change we made is that we converted her room to a "big girl" room with a princess theme and a toddler bed. we haven't had problems since. I don't know if any of this will help, but it worked for us. Good luck and remember, this too shall pass.

Dear J.,
I don't know that taking her back to see that same elephant will do any good. But, I think maybe getting her some books about elephants might help. Explain to her how they take such good care of their babies, which is very true, and how they are families. Explain that elephants are very BIG animals, but that's okay, because they are way too big to ever fit in the door of your house or her room. Or her crib. They're just too big to fit, so she's safe.
You might check out the Babar books....or find pictures of people riding on elephants. Something to show their gentle side. She's safe because they're big. She's safe because they live in jungles. Little things like that. You may be able to turn her fear of them into an appreciation for them.

Best of luck!

That is SOOOO cute! You will have a great story to tell when she is older.

Taking her back to see it MIGHT help, but it's possible she will be too scared to go anywhere near the elephant. My suggestion is don't try to talk her out of it, but rather mirror her fear, and say "elephants can be scary," and things like that. Trying to talk people out of their emotions almost always has the opposite effect of making it worse.

Other moms have had good ideas in the past about magic rituals for getting rid of boogie-men, in this case elephants, so I think creating some sort of elephant-chasing ritual might help.

She is experiencing anxiety. The "elephants" are a concrete way that she can express that to you. When she says, "There are elephants in my crib" she is saying - I'm scared and anxious. All children become scared and anxious at times. Hopefully nothing worse than a loud elephant happened to her on that trip. I always wonder when kids show on-going anxiety if something else bad happened to them around, close to, or during the time that they experienced the "elephant" or whatever it is that they are complaining about. And she just associates "bad and scary" with that elephant because it is something concrete that she knows how to complain about. Three year olds don't know how to complain about anxiety - they just experience it.

She also may just not want to separate from you at night (or find herself alone in the morning when she wakes up) because she is away from you all day as well. So she may be expressing how hard that is for her. Is she comfortable and close to the person that takes care of her during the day?

My step-son is almost 9 years old and when he experiences anxiety he says that he sees spirits or ghosts in his room at night. When his anxiety seems to calm down, he wakes up less at night and he stops mentioning spirits and ghosts.

Remember that children don't have the vocabulary to express everything they feel and a lot of times an "elephant" is not the problem. Rather - they are just experiencing general fear and anxiety. She just experienced the elephant - knew that that was scary, and now when she feels scared she identifies it with "elephant."

My step-son's older brother was killed in a pedestrian/auto accident when he was 3 and the brother was 6 years old. Now whenever he goes through an anxious time (first day of school for the year, a lot of switching back and forth between mom and dad's houses, really any thing at all) he only can express his uneasiness, fear, or anxiety as "missing his brother." Yes, sometimes he misses his brother. But a lot of times I think that he just feels bad and identifies feeling bad with the first major trauma (which obviously was a truly major trauma) with losing his brother. So that's the only way he knows how to express it.

I doubt your daughter's anxiety is all about elephants or even loud elephants. She's just having anxiety - maybe from being away from you all day and then all night in the crib, or maybe from something else. I'm not trying to give a guilt trip about not being home with the child during the day. Just explaining how things may feel from her perspective.

May be just pretend play with her one day and say that you see an elephant too hiding far away in a corner. Then, tell her that you are going to have a talk with elephant and go in that corner and tell the elephant to never come back to bother your daughter. The elephant belongs in the forest or that mall where she saw her not in your home. The home belongs to mommy, daddy and your daughter. Then go and reassure your daughter that elephant has promised never to come back. He is now a friend and will only visit to say hello only if your daughter wants to.

Best,
-Rachna

Perhaps it is time to move from the crib into a small bed, like those found at IKEA. She could help to select it and make it her own...and you could at the same time get some elephant spray, (colored water or perfumed water like a lavender spray in a bottle) I would put a picture of an elephant on the bottle and print, No Elephant Spray on the bottle and use it prior to bedtime to make sure elephants were being kept away. You might try this before a new bed, but at 2 1/2 we were moving our kids and grands to their own 'big girl' or boy bed. A grandson of ours liked the vacuum during the day and was not afraid of it from all appearances, but at night time would want to "check for vacuums", we had to look under the crib, in the closet behind the doors and in the most impossible to squeeze a vacuum into spaces at bedtime. Until we 'checked' in his presence he was not secure. So we did the 1 min.check, No vacuums behind the door etc. until the room was swept clean of evidence of vacuums. Then all was well. This is going to pass and did for our grandson as he moved more toward 3. We did find on craigslist a race car bed that he thought at 2 1/2 was totally awesome and he transitioned beautifully to it, although the vacuum checks did continue for a time intermittently. But, a no elephant spray could be an easy solution and in a pretty scent a good way to freshen her room.

What you need to do is help your daughter associate the crib with happy things instead of 'elephants'. One option would be to stay with her till she falls asleep-- if she can stay in her crib at all without panicking, instead of letting her fall asleep on the couch, then wake up in her own crib. Another, more direct way, would be to stay with her and sing songs, offer candy, read books-- whatever she really enjoys that will keep her mind off the elephants. If she is going with this and then suddenly gets nervous again, let her get out of the crib-- the idea is to get her used to it again in little stages.
Good idea!

It sounds like she may be truely frightend, but try not to give her a lot of attention when she is in elephant mode. She may learn to use it to get attention. Simply state the fact to her that elephants are not in the house. She is just thinking about them too much. Then try to get her to think and talk about something else.

she must be having nightmares, espec if it's always on her mind. could you distract the conversation by talking about something else? maybe she'll just eventually stop thinking about it - maybe that is a good idea to take her back & if she'll look watch you get close, take a picture & be excited to see them. the new bed idea is good too - would be something new to be so excited about. Good luck

Like Betty said below. Get elephant spray ... I would just use water that way the smell is not needed if she wakes at night. Some fragrances are not good for developing lungs. Spray it around the room and house. Then look everywhere for elephants and say they are all gone back to where ever you visited that had them.

Ask care givers to do the same if needed and not to joke about elephants in the house.

Good luck!

My only suggestion is to write this down (and print out your request here) in her baby book, so that you can laugh and laugh about it later. Someday when she becomes a zookeeper or a national geographic photographer you can tell her all about her obsession with elephants. Seriously though, you got some great advice, and I will try the elephant spray and having a mom to mom talk with the mama elephant when my time comes. . ..:)

It sounds like elephants are her version of monsters. You might try using a scented spray in her room, calling it "elephant spray" and say that it will keep the elephants out. Or if you are people of religious faith, you might try using prayer before bedtime asking God to not let the elephants bother her. If neither of these suggestions appeal to you, try to think of an alternative that will comfort her and take away the fears.

You also may want to think about whether she is ready to move on from the crib to a larger bed. If so, just making that kind of move might be a way to get rid of the elephant phobia by suggesting that the elephants won't come in her room with the new bed in there.