April 10, 2008,
N.M. asks from Omaha, NE on April 08, 2008
2 1/2 Year Old Son Won't Stop BITING!
I've done everything I know how to do with this issue, and it's becoming so bad that my sister just stormed out of the house b/c my son bit her daughter (who's the same age) again yesterday. Just when I think he's out of this phase, he starts doing it again. I feel like I can't take him to the nursery at church or playgroups anymore. I've tried avoiding tense situations, time outs, spanking, etc. My family has dubbed him the 'naughty' one and doesn't want to be around him, even though he's a great and loving kid except for the biting thing. I NEED HELP!!! Any advice out there???
So What Happened?™
Thanks for the advice everyone. Unfortunately, we've tried the biting back thing at one time and either this kid SO strong willed or has a high pain tolerance, because it doesn't work and makes him bite back harder. (there's something wrong when a 2 yr old and a grown 30 yr old male are sitting on the floor biting each other back and forth!)
We've found that physical forms of punishment (spanking, pinching, etc.) won't do it. Which throws us for a loop since our daughter is a completely opposite personality. I know there are some moms out there with strong willed boys! i just don't want it to get out of hand before I am able to physicallly control him.
K.G. answers from Omaha on April 09, 2008
Im sure I will hear alot of flack for this but here goes.
My boys are 2yrs apart. When oldest started biting and I couldnt find anthing to stop it I told the younger one to bite him back. He refused! Such a sensitive child. So the next time it happened I bit him.
Like I said- Im sure there will be tons of response to my way and believe me it was the last resort. BUT... he NEVER bit again.
He is now 20 and as far as I can tell stores no trauma from this event ;)
S.S. answers from Omaha on April 09, 2008
My son bit me once(after another kid had bit him) I bit him back and he never bit me again. Don't bite hard enough to break the skin but hard enough he feels it. I am a true believer that somethings are taught best the old fashioned way- whether others feel it's wrong or not- it worked for me.
C.Z. answers from Omaha on April 09, 2008
I had the world's worst biter in my daycare. He had been kicked out of one daycare and was on his way out of another when he came to me. He was biting several times a day, every day for at least six months.
The way you can handle this works very well but you MUST be consistent with it EVERY time and for about 2-3 weeks, your child is not going to like you one bit. Use the same words each and every time you talk to him and you have to do this several times a day (25-30) for 2-3 weeks. Here goes!
Hey Sam, come here, please. (You are down to his eye level and use a very stern, low voice, one that says, you better pay attention) Sam, we don't bite. Biting hurts. Do you understand? No biting. We don't bite our friends/brother/cousin. Biting hurts and we don't bite. If you bite, you have to put your nose in the corner. Do you understand? No biting! (Wait for child to give you several nods of understanding throughout the conversation. This may bring on tears, don't worry about that.) Okay, now let's have a hug and you can go back to playing. I love you.
Fast forward, fifteen mintues later, interrupt his play or whatever he is doing...
Hey Sam, come here, please. (You are down to his eye level and use a very stern, low voice, one that says, you better pay attention) Sam, we don't bite. Biting hurts. Do you understand? No biting. We don't bite our friends/brother/cousin. Biting hurts and we don't bite. If you bite, you have to put your nose in the corner. Do you understand? No biting! (Wait for child to give you several nods of understanding throughout the conversation. This may bring on tears, that's okay.) Okay, now let's have a hug and you can go back to playing. I love you.
Catch him in the middle of whatever he is doing and keep this up. If you see that you THINK he may be thinking about biting, if he is getting frustrated, if he is perfectly content with what he is doing, if he is in the middle of a game, in the car, during bathtime, you stop and have this little chat with him. If he bites, love up the other child while your little one is in the corner. Blow bubbles with the other child, play a game in full view of your biter, do something really fun, that ends when your child comes out of time-out.
This worked with Sam...he bit twice in the first 45 minutes of his first day and never bit again. It was an intense 3 weeks, but he pulled through, I pulled through and his parents were eternally grateful.
Good luck and let us know how everything works out!
B.D. answers from Omaha on April 10, 2008
This did not work for my son but you might try it. Everything we gave him he seamed to like. If he bites put something that tastes bad in his mouth. We started with hot sauce and went from there. I hope this helps.
A.B. answers from Fargo on April 09, 2008
The daycare my first was in as a toddler, had another little boy who always bit the same little girl and his mom (she was the daycare provider). She was talking with me and said that she hasn't been able to stop him from biting. She was putting him in time out everytime, telling him no biting, etc. I told her she needed to bite him back when he bit her. At 2 1/2, he doesn't realize that it hurts the other child and when he bites, he probably gets whatever toy it was that he wanted. He gets his way. He needs to realize that it hurts, so a firm bite back will make him realize that. I know a lot of people are against it, but that's how they learn...from experience!