March 07, 2007,
J.C. asks from Chapel Hill, NC on February 12, 2007
2 1/2 Year Old Acting Out at Pre-school
My 2 1/2 year old has recently been acting out at pre-school. His teacher informed me that if his behavior continues he will not be allowed to come back. Today he was pushing, pulling other kids clothes and actually hit one child in the face with a toy. We have had problems in the past with another boy in his class acting this way toward my son, but that child is no longer in the class, now my son is the "rough" kid. We have talked to him about appropriate behavior and keeping his hands to himself, he seems to do OK at home. The teacher told me today that his behavior has changed dramatically since the beginning of the year. I am at a loss on what to do. My husband says we should just take him out and try again next year, is this the best solution???
S. answers from Miami on March 07, 2007
Well my suggestion is if his behavior does not change you definatelt would want to take him out and not have him kicked out. That's not a good way to go. I do however, suggest along with you talking to your son also trying some type of discipline like time-outs or taking away things he normally would enjoy when coming home from school. And xplain to him that when he is acting up in school it makes mommy unhappy and that it's not nice to hit others because it doesn't feel good. Be firm with your follow-up actions and your son. If I may ask, has anything at all changed at home or in his direct enviroment that may have caused him to start acting out? I ask because my daughter began the same thing at he age of 3 and for a few weeks it was terrible not ot mention embarassing.
R.J. answers from Orlando on February 12, 2007
I agree with the others moms i would do some surprise visits and if they still give you a hard time i would would try to take him to another place they should be useto this from children this young or a little older my son is five and he is in a class with other five and four yr olds and they all still do it so this scholl your taking him to should be useto this and should not tell you that if he continues he will no longer be welcomed I have never heard of a school saying that. hope this helps.
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A. answers from Daytona Beach on February 18, 2007
Sounds like he is being a normal 2 1/2 year old. Schools expect too much of little kids nowadays. Which in turn, actually depresses their social development. And since thie same thing has already happened with another student I would look into switching teachers.
But if you don't need to have your baby in preschool (daycare at this age really) - then pull him out. You are not helping his development by having him in a class where the teacher does not want him there. Poor little guy might develop a complex.
Let him stay home with you until he is older!
M.S. answers from Miami on February 13, 2007
Hey J., My name is M., I am a former pre-school teacher and mother of a now 6 yr old.Don't take him out this is a learning phase for you guys and him. The school should not put him out just because he is acting out he is only 2 1/2 he is exploring and that is the schools jobs to deal with his exploring and to channel that with more positive things to do with his extra energy. like drawing or doing something that he enjoys doing.Think about it, (if the whole class starting "acting out, are they going to put all the kids out? Or are they going to have to find other alternatives?)They have been trained to deal with situations like kids acting out, trust me! I've had studetns from infant on up to 8th grade in one room & kids doing way more that what your baby is doing.Allow him to be him and continue to love him,chair on his positive behavior.Incourage his teacher to also.Have you had a heart to heart with his teacher to find out what is making him act out?That is where you will get a whole lot of info & don't be afraid to spend some time in the class watching to see his daily routines theyshould encourage this at every daycare/school.Remember all the way up throught graduation to be invloved with your childs teacher,trust me, she'll really appreciate it!"It takes a village to raise a child"
Y.P. answers from Port St. Lucie on February 12, 2007
I know it can be frustrated. I sort of when thru this also. Try not to worry. If I were you and haven't already, make little suprise visits to the school. Don't let him see you and try to stay as long as possible to see what is really going on. Make sure another kid is not starting it which i know doesn't make it appropriate but just ask the teacher if there are other children acting the same way because if he doesn't have that type of behavior at home you should really look into what's going on at school. Let me know how it goes. Good luck!
A.G. answers from Orlando on February 12, 2007
I agree with the other Mom, you should try to see for yourself what is going on. Teachers are quick to blame the child, but at that age they respond to how they are treated. If this has happened with other students, I would think that the teacher does not have the skills needed- age appropriate behavior, schedules, how to talk WITH a child, and kindly resolve disputes. Your son is getting upset about something and has not yet learned skills to deal with his feelings in a positive way. This is normal at his age, he's still learning. The teacher is supposed to be there to teach these skills at the moment it happens. It is more effective to show it in the moment, but you can also try to role play with your son about different situations and choices he can make- someone takes a toy from him, says something he does not like, etc you can act it out with him and make it silly so he will remember it.
Other than that I would suggest another school, at that age the person who is with them all day is very important. If you do not have to send him to school, then don't. The love, time and patience you take to show your child things cannot be duplicated by a teacher with 10 students!
Best of luck to you!
H.H. answers from Miami on February 13, 2007
Well, in response to one of the Moms, believe it or not, they do "expel" the child. My Daughter has been kicked out of two schools now. She will be five this week. It's very hard to deal with, not to sound discouraging.
There are programs you can contact that will help you place your child in an environment that is better for him. I can give you a number if you like or the web addres. Actually, the number I have is probably for someone close to my house. Here's the web address - www.elcmdm.org. It's a county program. Anyway, they match you up with someone that can take you to different schools to check out. It kinda makes the "interview" process a bit easier, ya know since you're not going at it alone. Ask all the questions you want! They're really nice. Hope this helps!