1St Birthday Party, Is It Okay to Say "No Gifts"

I've learned in the last five years that some people listen to such requests and others don't. So, if I have a request I only tell it to those people who will listen.

For instance, my mom will give my kids anything I suggest. But my MIL will only give them toys and has specifically expressed wanting to look better and spend more than my parents. She's in a race against herself because my parents could care less.

It's people like that who won't chanage.

But, I think that asking invitees to bring a letter of a favorite memory is a GREAT idea! No one shold be offended by that at all, even if they still shower him with toys. :)

Best of luck!

M.

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I attended a party once that said "no gifts" but did ask us to bring 2 of the same book - 1 for the birthday boy and 1 to donate to the library. In the one for the birthday boy, we were to write on the inside cover something that we wanted to share with him. It's still nice to read him a book and flip to the inside cover to see what people wrote to him. We were asked to not get a card either - the writing on the inside of the book was enough. A cute idea I have to say - but I did splurge and bought 4 Dr. Seuss books instead of just 2! Hope this helps.

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I am considering having "please, no gifts" for my son's 1st birthday party because, seriously, how many more toys does he need?

Personally, and this is just my opinion and I know others won't feel the same way so take it how you want, I would never ask people to donate money to a 529. To me, it would be like putting "no gifts, we prefer cash" on an invitation, which I think is tacky. In my opinion, a better way to handle this would be to let people know about that option if they call you inquiring about the 'no gift' thing and are insistent on getting your child something.

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It's a tough question. I put "no gifts" on my first son's first birthday party invitation, but not because he had too much stuff - just because it was more of a grown-up party with our friends to celebrate surviving parenthood. But later on the same question came up in a different parenting forum, and now I think I wouldn't say "no gifts" because a lot of people seem to think it's impolite, and I guess I see the point - what happens is that some people do bring gifts, and that makes others feel uncomfortable. (It would be a lot worse for an older kid's party with friends, though.)

I think as a culture we are going to have to come to terms with the fact that we waste a lot of our resources on these toys that take up a lot of space, but I don't feel like the etiquette has caught up with the reality of our lives, where we want to celebrate with lots of friends and family but (in the kindest and most grateful spirit) don't need quite as much to store.

If people ask what you want, you can ask for consumable items like art supplies that you can always store and use for years to come. After the first day, I put away some of the gifts in the toy room closet for a "rainy day" or for a few months from now when they have forgotten about them. When my first son was born we got so many stuffed animals it was kind of ridiculous. I put away about 10 in a box, and they came out as "new" when I had son #2, who didn't have a shower so didn't get as many baby gifts.

Also, as a last thought, I can't tell you the number of favorite, wonderful toys my kids have received that I either didn't know about or would never have thought to buy myself.

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I like the idea of donations being made instead. People do like to go shopping, so you could even state that you'd like something to donate.
"In lieu of more toys, please bring canned goods for Gleaner's Food Bank" or "please bring blankets and toys for the Humane society".
You will still get clothes and toys you don't need but it will cut down on what you get. I also made it clear to anyone that asked that what we really needed was things like cloth diapers and books instead of toys and clothes. My mom listened and had a great time looking for cute cloth diapers and as a teacher loved that we wanted books instead of toys. MIL got more clothes we didn't want - what can you do? :)

I feel the same way! I just asked my family & my hubby's family not to buy my nine month old toys for Christmas or for his 1st birthday (in March). I have two girls that are 4 & almost 3 and we have PLENTY to keep him occupied. I just sent out an e-mail to everyone who buys for my kids and asked that they skip gifts for my son or to buy him clothes and the same went for my girls. Only my MIL was offended. She felt it wasn't fair that she couldn't buy him anything & that she would look cheap. She won't contribute to any of my kids 529 plans, but she started her own saving accounts for each of my kids. She is a bit of a control freak. If anyone else was upset or offended they didn't mention it. I have to say it was wonderful not to have ten million new toys this Christmas!

I think that is nice, b/c than people can maybe give you something for his scrapbook. I know the feeling of to many toys, i just had to take some of their old ones to the goodwill. That was alot but i still got so many toys but ask for something that is for the computer or games that go to a v-smile if they have one or a leap frog or get them to buy them one. something like that. i love that b/c it grows with them. that won't be to much and or do a wish list at walmart or toyrus or target and tell them about it and pretty much tell them what you want. if anything tell them to buy scrapbook stuff for you b/c i know that is not cheap b/c i do that. i hope this helps. i know you said no toys but i just wanted to let you know.

You can specifically ask for things when you invite people. I intend on doing the "your presence is present enough." But, you could always include a little letter or something. Just say that thanks to the generosity of family and friends, your little guy is already blessed with enough toys. You are, however, working on a scrapbook and would like all friends/family to have a part in it. Ask them to bring a picture, a memory, or a little advice for your little guy. That way you are thanking them for what they've done in the past, and giving them an alternate gift to give to your ds. You can even put some paper in the invitations. You'll probably still get gifts though. Can you get rid of some of the older toys to make room for the new ones?

We did the no gifts thing for my daugther's 1st bday last year. Out of 20 or so people, 2 listened and 1 donated to a charity in her name. The intention was there on my part, but if people are determined to buy a gift, there is nothing you can do about it!

On our invite we said "presence was gift enough". People still brought gifts and some people asked... if they ask, then you can provide suggestions. Next year, I plan on just omitting. It seems like it would be less of a hassle. We also requested that people provide a time capsule entry for the kids for their 18th birthday which will be really nice for them.

I would not put that on the invite. If someone specifically asks its ok to say no toys please but if not just cringe silently. If they dont get torn into you could always return them for cash and put that in your 529. Good luck

I wouldn't bother saying anything. People are going to bring gifts. They don't want to do stuff like donate to college funds when the kids are young and so much fun to watch open up gifts. Plus, a $10 contribution seems so cheap, but you can find a really awesome $10 toy. If you really wanted to, you could request specific toys, then put them back for when he's a little older, like a leap pad, vtech game, and other learning stuff that he isn't really ready for now, but will be in a year or so.

We had the same dilema last year when my son turned 9 so what we did was on the invitation we said in lieu of gifts that he wanted a donation to the animal shelter made in his nname - amazingly most people did that - they might have given him something small but still did the donation part which I think is an awesome idea. You can only ask - people may or may not honor your request. I know I have asked people to donate to their 529 accounts and people feel thats wrong because they "need" gifts to open. You can only ask.