19 Month Old Not Talking

Hi C.,
My son just turned 2 last month and he was the same way at 18/20mos. Even at his 24mo check up I talked to the dr about it. My son could say about 6-8 words that others would understand and then a bunch of things that only his dad or I knew. But his comprehension is right on track. I swear it was like he understood the conversation with the dr! In the weeks since he turned two he has popped out with so many new words, both finally saying words he's understood for a long time and adding brand new words. Go ahead with EI if you have concerns but don't feel you NEED to at this point. She'll talk when she's ready.

Speaking from my experience and Dr.'s input, there's probably nothing to worry about at this point. Your daughter *is* talking, understands you, and even has at least one sign of her own (for her hat.) My son said but two words at 18 months (mamama and "gow" which meant "dog") and he had his language explosion later, now articulate and making good sentences at 2-1/2. I did use just a few signs with him and it was awesomely helpful for him to say what he wanted (like food, milk, more, all done) and it reduced his frustration level a lot...other than that, we just kept talking and reading to him. It seems there's a lot of hype out there for kids to reach every milestone on the early side, but they all progress at their own rate..and it sounds to me like your little one is right on track!

Keep talking and reading to her. And say "use your words" when she's not doing so. It will all come in time.

Some kids just start later than others, especially if they have a sibling that is very verbal. My sister was the 5th of 6 kids and reportedly she didn't really talk much till she was 3 or older (I was the 6th and wasn't around till 5 years later). But when she started it was almost in full sentences. She later was a valedictorian in high school and now is a doctor. So, a slow start in the talking department may not be an issue in the long run.

Trust your gut. If she seems to be understanding what you're saying, she may be saving her speech for something great! : )

Give sign language a try, even though you say you are not into it. You don't need to learn every sign, just a few to start, and let her figure out how she wants to sign (pat her head may not be the "official" sign for hat, but in your household, it is now) Try to get her to sign for what she wants, and repeat the words, but have her sign or say what she wants first. You and her sister are probably just too speedy and responsive to her, so she can communicate her needs too easily with just pointing :) You 4 1/2 y/o may love it too. try quiet time (sign first, guess the sign) I found that my kids talk more perhaps because of the signing (and we were not heavy into it) In fact my husband poo-poo'd the whole idea, until her saw our son put a couple of signs together at 8 mos. So much less frustration, and you can see their faces light up when they tell you something, and you say what they sign. You can just see them beam and get excited that their grown-ups "get it"! Good luck.

Have you thought about early intervention? We didn't call until Evan was almost 21 months but I really wish we had started sooner. His speech pathologist was wonderful. His speech has improved but he still has problems getting the words he needs out when he needs to although he does have the words. Evan had about 10 words/sounds when he was evaluated.

My oldest son didn't really talk until 2 1/2, although like your daughter he understood everything we said, followed directions well, pointed to what he wanted (and used grunts), and had a few words (although mostly he said sophisticated things such as "chicken" once and then wouldn't say them again). He babbled and could clearly make the sounds but just chose not to. My pediatrician was concerned by the time he got to be 2 (he said "bubbles!" repeatedly at his second birthday party; I was overjoyed to report this to the pediatrician, and she just said "That's ALL he can say?"), but I still wasn't worried because he knew all the letters and his numbers up to 10 -- we clearly weren't dealing with cognitive impairment. When he got to be about 2 1/2, he suddenly started talking all the time, with full sentences and pretty decent grammar. Now I see that he is a perfectionist and probably just wanted to wait until he got everything right. Chances are your daughter will be on her own schedule regardless of what you do, and I wouldn't be concerned if your pediatrician isn't.

As for things to do to hurry it along, maybe just make sure you're giving your daughter time to use words (pause to wait for her to answer, even if you don't think she will), and if she does start using a word, insist that she use it instead of gestures (say "use your word" or "can you say milk?" etc.). Also, I know you said you're not into sign language, but I encourage you to give it a try. I wish I'd done that with my oldest son. It would have cut out a lot of the frustration on both sides. I did use it with my second son, although he started talking really early and so didn't need it as much. Anwway, Baby Signing Time videos are excellent (and enjoyable even for kids who already talk, especially the Signing Time videos for older kids. We loved Leah's Farm in particular).

Good luck!

HA! that brings back memories :) my youngest didn't use hardly any words untill big brother went to school. He must have been saving it all up because he never stops talking now! He was closer to 2-2 1/2 before the words came out and he's 9 now (with no delays in his schooling)

Be patient. My son didn't really start talking a lot until literally he turned 2 and now he is non-stop with his language. I was starting to get worried too and everyone told me it could be because he was more active and physical. I know TV is frowned upon by many people, but I know my son repeats and learns a lot of stuff from the PBS shows and from repeating what I say (which isn't always a good thing, ha ha). Just read a lot to her, always tell her what things are and just talk, talk, talk and she'll pick it up sooner or later. Be patient. :)

Hi there. Have you thought about Early Intervention? They can really help out!

I used them to help my daughter start walking. She was just the exact opposite, saying mamma and dadda at 7 mos, full sentences by 12 mos, but not even crawling til 12 mos, and not walking til 18 mos!
But not to worry - all kids talk or walk when they are ready. My best friend's daughter is 22 mos and only says 3 words. She is in EI and it has gotten the ball rolling.

When your DD yells or pats her head to get her hat on, tell her to use her words. Since she is understanding more than she is speaking, she'll get what you mean in no time.

Good luck!

My son was the same way - he said absolutely nothing, but he grunted/whined and pointed at what he wanted. The doctor wasn't really concerned because he wasn't delayed in any other area, and he could hear just fine. Finally one day I just got sick of it - he was in his high chair, grunting and pointing at the cabinet. I said, "Look, I don't know what you want. Whatever it is that you want, just say the word, and you can have it. But you have to stop this whining!" I just said it for myself, you know, to vent frustration. But that kid looked right at me and said, clear as day, "COOKIE!" I guess I should have been thrilled that he said his first word, but my reaction was, "You little stinker! You could talk all along!" After that, he never shut up.

I'm not saying that what I said worked. I wish I had been more supportive and just coaxed him - but truthfully, I had done that for months. I think it's possible that my true inability to figure out what he wanted might have had something to do with it, or his shock at my tone of frustration maybe prompted it. I did have a gut feeling, an instinct, that he might respond to me without being crushed at my tone, I will say that. He had a very strong personality and I didn't feel he was emotionally fragile in any way. Or, maybe he was just ready. I don't know!

All I can say is, if your daughter is not delayed in other ways, don't worry. It will happen. I don't know if your older daughter "translates" for her, but it might help if she didn't. Perhaps if she pats her head, you can say "Do you want a hat?" and after that act like you don't know what she wants and ask her to say the word. Don't push (like I did!) if you aren't comfortable or don't feel it's right for the situation or her personality.

You can consider some evaluation if you feel it's best. If you don't like your doctor's response, you can get a 2nd opinion. I do wonder if teaching her sign language at this point is going to get in the way of her verbal development though. She is physically and cognitively capable of speaking - I think sign language is more for younger children who are not. But as always, it's your decision. Good luck!

contact your local school district and ask them how to contact Early Intervention. They will come to your house and do an assessment on her and will provide services, free of charge, if she needs them. anyone can request an eval and it takes a while to get appointments so do it soon. services end at age 3 then they move on to preschool. Don't write off sign language just yet - it does help.. I also didn't think it would be good because my son would use it as a crutch instead of speaking, but it helped tremendously with his frustration levels when he wanted something and we didn't know what it was. Pick key words to use (drink, hungry, more, etc..) it will cut down on yelling and made up words. it doesn't replace the spoken word either, say it while you are signing.. if you go to the ASL.com site it you can punch in a word and it will give you the sign for it so you can start now. good luck

Hi C., My daughter was 18 months when I enrolled her in early intervention (a free service the state provides). I would recommend having her evaluated it can't hurt and they only provide service until 3 years old. My son who is currently 17 months is not talking either and I am in the process of getting him evaluated. My case worker who currenly works with my daugter told me that a child should have 50 words by the age of 2 and that names don't count. Good Luck!

If you really think there is a problem have her evaluated.

But there is a wide range of normal and second children are often later talkers. My DD have very few words until between 19 and 20 months. Then she started talking practically overnight and ended up pretty verbally advanced once she got going.

My friend's child was not really talking much at all at 24 mos. He was evaluated by EI and while he was awaiting services (there was a waiting list) he suddenly started talking and made up for lost time pretty quickly. His dad didn't talk until 3, but in the 70's nobody was stressing about it. That was just his normal.

Those are anecdotes, of course, but just to let you know that your DD is probably normal for her but if you doubt that get her evaluated for your peace of mind.

First off I would definitely consider Early Intervention. It's free, and even if your daughter doesn't qualify for services at least they will have done the eval and they can give you recommendations to use at home (I did this w/my dd for physical delays- she wasn't delayed enough to continue but they gave helpful suggestions that worked).

Secondly I would make time to engage her one-on-one conversation as frequently as you can. Get on the floor to play and ask tons of questions. I think the questions will push her to reply, and if she replies by pointing or using hand gestures you can remind her to "use her words." My daughter loves it when I very slowly sound out a word, She thinks it's the funniest thing and then she tries to do it.

One more thing to try: every time you're in the car or anywhere, really, just tell her what you see, "I see people driving in cars, I see trees and big rocks," etc. etc. Eventually she may begin to tell you what she sees.
Good luck, I'm sure she'll come around!

my kids didnt start "talking" til closer to 24 mo........now they wont be quiet.....dont worry sounds like she is on the right track

She sounds exactly like my daughter did (now almost 3). We had her evaluated by EI at about your daughter's age and since she understood everything I said and was saying a few words (mama, dada, lili for light) that she didn't qualify. A few weeks after she turned 2 the flood gates openend and she now speaks better than most 4 year olds. Keep talking to her and most importantly keep reading to her. If things haven't changed by 2.5, have her evaluated but for now just keep talking. Enjoy your girls!

My son is 20 months and his actual speaking is pretty limited. Part of me worries because goodness knows I've read every book out there about developmental milestones.

Realistically though, I'm not worried at all. I've been chattering to the kid since he was born and all the other cues are there. He understand complex directions, makes new sounds all the time, babbles A LOT, and has picked up sign language pretty easily. His sign language vocabulary is up to about maybe 7-10 signs and he learns new ones quicker every day. Also, we live in a small apartment and I'm with him all the time, so his NEED to speak with words isn't that great. He enjoys using his signs though and just the other day he added "not hot" (which sounds like "nah hah") to his spoken vocab. I suspect he'll be one of those kids who once he starts really opening up his mouth and talking, it'll be a floodgate!

Plus, he's always been more advanced in his physical milestones. He's a cognitive genius in all other ways too, so really, it's just a matter of time.

Hi C.,
we have some friends whose son did not speak at all until 3. He was in speach therapy and it really didn't do much for him. It wasn't until his folks put him in daycare/ preschool that he began to speak and pretty much in full sentences. He'll be 5 next month and is not the slightest bit delayed in his language. I'm pretty sure he only goes 2 days a week for the mornings but being around the other kids was enough.
You are not alone. I'm sure that when she is ready and needs to, she'll be just great.