35 answers

18 Year Old Son with Extreme Behavor Problems

I have struggled through the past 10 years with my son. My husand and I were married when my son was 4 years old. His Dr and I believe he is bi-polor but we can not get him to see a therapist.
His biological father had anger problems. I am so tired and my husband and I fight over this all the time. My 10year old daughter is tired of the fights. My husband and son can not be in the same room. My son goes through our room and takes things when we are out. He even takes my daughters things just because. He hits the walls he yells and curses at me and he step father.
But he takes the blame for nothing. He says he can not help it. I love him so much but he has made my life so hard. I hate that we can not have a better realationship. Do you think he will grow out of this. I am so tired

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Well, things are still not great but they are improving. My son has recieved his GED and has enrolled in summer classes @ local college. He still plans to go into the Navy in the fall. We have our good weeks and bad weeks.

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No he won't grow out of this. He needs help. I would talk to the doctor about what options you have as his mother in getting him the help he needs.

I lived with him too. I havent' read the responses but after one extreme episode we, my husband, son(17 at the time) and I sat down and we gave him 4 choices. We said pick a bootcamp. He is in the Navy now and very successful. It worked for us but my son has anger mangement issues and ADD issues. THese are things the Navy was able to work with.
I truly hope he is able to get help in some way.

well hes 18 give him the option therapy or out by the end of the month. DO NOT SET A DATE TO MOVE OUT FOR MORE THAN A MONTH. they wont move out or even start looking for a place until the week before so just give him a month if that. by saying therapy or move, this gives him some input, he chooses his actions good luck

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You have let him rule the roost for a while now. He is ruler over everyones life. He rules your marriage and your poor little daughter. You need to practice some tuff love. Tell him if he does not want to go to counsiling for help then he will have to move out. Simple as that. He gets help or gets out. He is 18 and responsible for himself. If he wants to steal and damage things I would say he is not just doing it from you. I would let him know if it happens again you are calling the police. These kind of things have to be cut off when they first begin or they get worse. He is not growing out of it. I would let him know he does not have to love or even like his step-dad but that he has to respect him. Also you and your husband need to stop fighting in front of your daughter. It is giving her wrong ideas about how a husband and wife is supposed to act. For everyone you need to get him under control and it sounds as if you are gonna have to do it with your husband to back you up.

1 mom found this helpful

I am so glad to see this post. We are dealing with the exact problem with our 14 year old son. But this week was it. We had to admit him to a local hospital for help! It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do but I did it to get my son the help I just could not give him. We have been to more counselors than I care to count and none of them gave us the tools we needed to help our son. We are trying new medications and behavior modifications now. It has been hard to not have him home. I am hear for you if you need a friend to talk to who is going through the same thing you are. My email is ____@____.com if you need to vent.

1 mom found this helpful

Get the book "The Heart of Anger" by Lou Priolo. It will change your way of thinking and interacting, and will also help your son. If you're thinking, "There's no way I can get him to read it," that's fine -- because *you* will be the one reading it, and applying it first to your own life, and then applying it to your son's life. It can turn him around.

well hes 18 give him the option therapy or out by the end of the month. DO NOT SET A DATE TO MOVE OUT FOR MORE THAN A MONTH. they wont move out or even start looking for a place until the week before so just give him a month if that. by saying therapy or move, this gives him some input, he chooses his actions good luck

First off, is there a way to lock your bedroom door and your daughter's? Your daughter should not have to worry about her stuff being stolen. My daughter locks hers now because twice her brother has taken something out of her room.

There are different types of bipolar. Some have manic phases and some don't, or their manic phase is just a less angry phase.

No, I don't think he will grow out of it.

I would give him a one day warning that you and maybe also your husband want to talk with him at a designated time the next day. Then also mention it that morning and one hour before. Hopefully, that way, he will get the yelling about the meeting out of his system beforehand.

Maybe read "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk" by Adele Faber before meeting with him to learn how to better communicate with him.

State your concerns and then give him some choices and have him pick. The choices may be 4 therapists or psychiatrists (provide names, pictures, and backgrounds which you can usually get from their website) he can decide between. Talk about how the therapist may recommend medication eventually.

Good luck!

your son needs to see a therapist. he obviously has problems, and not taking responsibility for his actions is the part of it. you may have to take the hard road of really tough love and tell him either he gets help or he is not allowed in your house. this sounds harsh, but it will be easier in the long run if he is willing to get the help he obviously needs. good luck and i will pray for you!!

E. you are not alone. I have a 17 year old boy and a 14 year old boy. We are having alot of problems too. I am to the point I do not know where to turn. I know you do not want to see them move out. Unless they have a good job it would be hard for them to make on their own. And it is hard to make them go to a therapist I have already tried that with mine. They had to go to group therapy because of the trouble they got into. My boys get into fights with other people, and each other. My 14 year old is the one I am having the most trouble with , he is on his way to JDC if he gets into any more trouble. The way my husband deals with them is to scream at them but that is not the right way to handle it. It sounds like you son does need therapy. I would say therapy or move out.

My son was like this and he was ad/hd.Since he is an adult u can have him court ordered to see a counseler.This has to be done before he hurts you , himself or an innocent person.Its called tough love hun, you can only help him so much, now he needs to take resposibility for his actions. He is breaking up your family. Please get help for him befor its to late.

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