18 Year Old Son Is Losing His Hair! Please Help My Heart Is Breaking!

Updated on April 21, 2012
J.S. asks from Davenport, IA
30 answers

My 18 year old son has been dramatically losing his hair for the last year, starting off with a head full of golden wavy locks. His hairline is moving back on his forehead and I can obviously tell that his hair is thin on top of his head. When he asks me why this is happening, I wish I had an answer for him. The doctor has done several blood tests and medically he is fine. Next week we go to the dermatologist. His father and grandfather have all of their hair, but my father and grandfather have very thin hair...not at his age though! He is very handsome and intelligent, ranking among the top in his class, but I'm sure he'd rather have his hair at this age! This is dramatic for men, let alone teenagers. His father is 50 and has a head full of hair, so he has no idea what it feels like or what to say to our son. If anyone has suggestions, please help. This is pulling at my heartstrings!

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D..

answers from Charlotte on

If you wanted to spend the money, you could get hair transplants done. Bosley is supposed to be good - look them up. Whether or not they will work on someone younger than 21, I don't know.

So sorry!
Dawn

2 moms found this helpful

C.P.

answers from Columbia on

Hair loss is genetic, related to the X-chromosome. Sorry, momma!

He might just consider shaving his head. Bald IS fabulous. :-)

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.H.

answers from Buffalo on

Does he stress a lot about school/grades/sports, anything? Stress can trigger hair loss. One of my friends just finished her undergrad degree and she is only 22 and has lost almost all of her hair due to stress...
Try to alleviate some of the stress he is under (if he is)

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

T.M.

answers from Redding on

The hair gene comes from the mom's side of the family. So if your dad has thin hair chances are your son has the "male pattern baldness" gene as well. Good thing the hairstyle these days for lots of guys is to shave their head.
Bald doesnt have to be a bad thing, so dont feed his ego with negativity.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

F.B.

answers from New York on

I don't know if this will be much help to you, but in the spirit of the "it gets better campaign" that they are running for young gay youth, you can tell your son it gets better. My husband, apparently, lost his hair early, in his college years. I didn't meet him till he was 31, and have never known him with hair. Married and love him anyway.

Bald men are better lovers.

Best to you and yours,
F. B.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'm sorry to tell you and him this, but its the women's side that has the most influence on baldness. Just like colorblindness comes from the women's side of the genes.

I had a boss that had a full head of hair at 25 and on his 26th birthday he had a thin band of hair from his ears around to the back of his head.

And it can be vastly different with brothers in the same family. I still have a thick head of hair and I'm over 60. My brother lost almost all his hair by the time he was 30. ;~)) In my family, I thought it was poetic justice in that when my dad wanted me to get a hair cut, I would just ask for the price of a haircut and then get it done. My brother fought and argued and gave my father a hard time about getting a hair cut. I always felt, "Don't worry about it. It will grow back." My brother felt, "Its MY hair. I should be the one to say how long it should be." So I have a full head of hair and my brother lost all of his very young.

Good luck to you and yours.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.V.

answers from Phoenix on

Massage his head with coconut and candlenut oil ( you can buy in indian store,asian store or amazon). Do it before sleep and wash it in the morning.The blood circulation might also a cause. I saw a balding woman had her neck accupressured because the blood circulation was blocked, so the nutrition for the hair was blocked, too.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.F.

answers from Fargo on

It will be okay, mama! My friend went mostly bald at age 18 and he shaved the rest on a regular basis. He looks AMAZING!!!!

Encourage him that hair does not make the man! :) Show him how to have confidence no matter the state of his looks! He is still handsome and intelligent - but being confident comes from within.
I know you want to help him, and you are sad to see his beautiful hair go, but you being upset and your husband not knowing what to say may do more harm than good.

My son wears an insulin pump. It broke my heart to know that he would be hooked up to a medical device for the rest of his life, but instead of letting him see me sad, we treat it as a normal part of life. If he wants to talk about it, I gladly listen, but I don't ever want him to feel like he's broken.

Hugs! I hope your son's confidence will not be shaken by hair loss and that this will just serve as a building block for his character. He sounds like an amazing kid!

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.S.

answers from Boca Raton on

I would seek out an integrative MD or DO and get a battery of testing to see where his testosterone levels are, his thyroid, his food sensitivities, chemical/toxin exposures, etc.

Mainstream medicine - imho - is very little help for this type of issue.

My older son (17) was starting to recede, he also had bad acne. He cut gluten and most dairy out of his diet a couple of years ago and his skin is clear as a bell. The hairline seems to be stabilized, though I'm not sure if that relates DIRECTLY to his diet (though it certainly has improved his overall health). He also seems to have oxalate issues so we supplement with B6 (and other supps). We've done these things with the guidance of an integrative doc and some diagnostic testing.

Hair seems to be genetic, but I also think there are environmental issues which trigger early hair changes.

JMO, and I'm not a health care professional of any kind.

PS: I do think hair comes from the mother's side. That being said my dad has a head full of hair in his 60's. My son seems to have the widow's peak from his dad's side . . . so ???

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.P.

answers from Sacramento on

You might want to try Nioxin, there are different systems you can consult a barber or hair dresser to see which is best for him. It is made by Procter and Gamble but can only be purchased at salons and such. It is a great product with proven results. I have more info on it somewhere, if you would like me to look for it and give you more info please let me know. good luck to your son,

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.C.

answers from Dallas on

Rogaine won't regrow much hair, but it will help him keep what he has now. Ask the dermatologist about it.

1 mom found this helpful

N.G.

answers from Dallas on

My brother is 19, and has the same problem. He already has a bald spot on top of his head. He hates it when we point it out. :( He is a cancer survivor, and endured chemo from age 16-17 so I wonder if that has anything to do with it, but I know this kind of thing is mostly genetic, so not much to do about it.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

I.G.

answers from Seattle on

I know quite a few men that were approaching baldness in their early twenties. It's a genetic/hormonal thing that really you can't do much about. It's the male sex hormone testosterone that negatively affects hair follicles.
There are medications, but they also affect testosterone levels and since may affect his sex drive/performance. Now that may not be an issue right now, but chances are if he doesn't have a girlfriend right now he likely will in the next few years. There are surgical treatments like hair transplants, but they usually only help for a limited time and are very expensive.
The best way to help him would be for you to build up his confidence. There is NOTHING wrong with being bald, many women LOVE it. Heck, men with a full head of hair intentionally shave, because it's considered sexy.
The best way to approach this is to help him accept and love who he is.
Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

I'm assuming the doctor has tested him specifically for the condition known as alopecia? Look it up on Wikipedia and ask the doctors about it.

It doesn't matter that his dad has tons of hair. Look at your own father -- it's the maternal grandfather's hair you have to watch. If the maternal grandfather is bald, the grandson will probably be bald. Heard that years ago and have found it true over and over. Not much comfort for your son, though.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Oh boy.
Well, I think male pattern baldness follows the mother's father, so it makes sense that he's taking after your dad and grandfather.
But he is young! And everything is more traumatic when you're young.
I guess he can either accept his look and understand that hair does not define us. Or he can spend a lot of money at a hair transplant clinic--at least get a consult and see what they think. can you afford it?
Maybe at his age, he will find the "do something" more appealing than the "accept it" option?
Poor kid.

1 mom found this helpful

M.A.

answers from Detroit on

All part of generics...it is sad to see our sons go through this, but we cannot control what we gave them. Tell him women love bald men and we fall in love with what is on the inside, not outside!!!

Both my boys started losing their hair at that age. My 23 year old is almost bald (more alarming is his beer belly:o) and my 19 is just starting to lose more. They both have lovely girlfriends. They were both miserable, but I tell them that is what my side of the family gave them. They are very handsome besides this, but they wear alot of baseball caps.

I think bald men are hot, I am now day dreaming about Vin Diesel and the Rock-Hubba Hubba.....

1 mom found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

I am wondering if they tested his thyroid? I know that it is a more common issue with women...but that's the only thing I can think of.

I knew two guys in high school that started going bald then. Just a weird thing. My mother, aunt, and grandmother all had a full head of grey or white hair by time they graduated high school.

Genes are weird. :)

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Sorry to say that more than likely it is genetic and balding comes from the mothers side, not the fathers side. My husband started balding at the age 16. I met him at the age of 19 and he was bald. With your family having thin hair, his could be thinning and that be that.

Being bald is not the end of the world!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.S.

answers from Davenport on

This is my first time on mamapedia and I had no idea I would get so many responses! A BIG THANKS to ALL OF YOU who had advice for me! The doctor has tested his thyroid and a gland located by the liver (sorry forgot the name) but it has to do with his testerone level, and also said it's not alopecia. A few people have said I am going to make him more stressed out by my actions. Believe me, he has no idea that I am worried or on here asking anything of the sort or he would disown me LOL! I don't care whether he, or anyone else, has hair or not. Bald IS beautiful, as far as I'm concerned, and I was asking the question from an 18 year old's point of view, not mine. I'm just sorry he has to deal with it so young. When we went to the Endocrinologist he only asked about my husbands side (hair). Everyone on here says genetics comes from the mother's side?

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.N.

answers from Minneapolis on

I'm a firm believer in that a male childs baby fuzz hair line when they are just months old is what their balding pattern/adult hair will look like.

I've seen it time and time again.. infact I'm looking at a picture of my hubby from when he was either 6 or 9 months old and sure enough....a light shadow of hair on the sides and a little on top!! Just like now.

He started loosing his hair in the Navy at 22... one of the officers told him he better start working out b/c it's ok to be bald and it's ok to be skinny... but it's not ok to be both!!

A boy in college lost his hair (all of it!) the end of first semester freshman year..... so we saw him w/ it and then without it. Based on that I would highly suggest that your son start getting shorter and shorter haircuts ... and eventually start shaving it. this way if he goes away to school he's 'always' looked like that and there won't be the 'shock' of the before and after.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.M.

answers from Chicago on

Perhaps try to show him to those doctors who treat boldness in man - they know everything about hair loss... maybe they will get to the bottom of this. Good luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.J.

answers from Minneapolis on

hi J..
A lot of great replies here.
Give the Nioxin a whirl. It does help - clears the oil that plugs the pores on the scalp. It's great for aging women- to all of you out there with thinning hair- too.
Nutrition is a huge factor too.
Get him some good protein shakes- have one a day. When I started using mine, my hair became as thick as during pregnancy! And I didn't lose it later- ha.
Doubt if it's thyroid if the docs are already on it.

And yep- bald is sexy now- I have nephews who shave by choice.

About me: 51 yo perfusionist, wellness coach , mom with 10 yo fraternal twin girls.

B. J

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.B.

answers from Spartanburg on

Many young men I know who have the same issue just shave their head and solve the problem. It's something he may consider if everything else fails...I see how hard this must be for him! Could you point out how many bald men are considered attractive and actually "manly"? Bruce Willis comes to mind but there are many others...

A.G.

answers from Houston on

Well I for one like the looks of some men without hair, I just wanted to throw that out there. Other than male pattern baldness,alopecia (sp*) or an over active thyroid I'm at a loss.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

My husband started losing his hair at 20 and tried EVERYTHING to hang onto the hair he had. Nothing really worked very well until someone suggested propecia when he was about 23. Not only has he kept the hair he had, he's also seen regrowth. It's not cheap but it's important to him so we pay 60-70/mo for it. There have been some reported side effects, none of which he's ever experienced.

R.H.

answers from Austin on

Have you doctor research alopecia (spelling)? I feel for you and your son.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.P.

answers from Houston on

I have a buddy who had this experience. It really affected his self-esteem. He saved his pennies and had whatever the procedure was and now has hair. He dyes it and gets haircuts. It's still thin, and very, very thin right at the crown, but his hairline is much closer to his forehead, and he's a cutie.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.C.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I hope that all through your son's life you've instilled values in him that say that it's not what's on the outside that is important, it is what is on the inside. Then you can just keep reaffirming that - people will like you because you are smart, confident, funny, etc. Potential girlfriends will want to date you because you are smart, confident, funny, etc.

The best thing you can do for him is reassure him that it's not a big deal and then let it go. Because if you make a big deal about it, it will make it a bigger deal to him than it needs to be.

Biologically, as for what's causing it - men get their gene for keeping their hair (or losing it) from their mom. So yes, he got the same gene as your dad. And what the gene does is it makes men's hair follicles sensitive to testoserone. So your son's hair loss is actually a sign that your son's body is producing a healthy amount of active testosterone. And that's a good thing in the long run.

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I read somewhere that they found the gene for baldness comes from the woman only. Strange....

My ex's cousin had the same issue. It never seemed to effect his life at all.

If I had to make any suggestion at all it is to chill. It will not effect his life as much as he fears and you making a big deal out of it is probably going to make him feel worse. Sort of like when you have a cut which your dealing with and then someone screams oh my god and you start thinking it was worse than you imagined. Not sure if that was a good analogy.

Oh see, if I read the responses first I would have been able to read about the gene here. :p

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.C.

answers from Madison on

My brother had the thickest head of hair a boy could possibly have growing up. When he turned 18, he started losing his hair and now (age 43) has a small ring of hair around the bottom portion of his head, which he keeps buzzed pretty short. He's been that way since he was about 20.

They say the hereditary genes for male baldness come from the mother's side; my grandpa had baldness just like my brother, as did my uncle. If there is no bald, or thin-haired man, or a male who grows his hair long and then flips it over the bald pate on top of his head that you currently know on the mother's side of the family, keep looking further back in your family's history; you're sure to find someone.

For awhile my brother tried some of those products that say they can regrow hair, but after a short time he gave up on them and decided to embrace his new look.

I happen to think that my brother is very, very handsome looking--hair or no hair. He has a very distinctive look about him, and he married his high school sweetheart; she obviously didn't have any issues with him losing his hair. Even when he started losing his hair, he always knew in the back of his mind that it could be a possibility, given the male baldness on our mother's side. In fact, our first cousin is also going bald (he is our double cousin; his dad and my dad are brothers and his mom and my mom are sisters, so the male baldness gene runs in my cousin's family as well); it just took him longer to lose his hair than my brother.

My brother says being bald/barely having any hair really helps save on haircuts. And he doesn't have to waste any time in the bathroom, endlessly worried about how he looks. He knows how he looks; the same every day.

I would help your son come to grips with this, that is the way it is, and to embrace his new look. I have seen a lot of guys who look absolutely stunning bald (and some of those guys actually have hair but shave it all off!), and I am so glad to see the men who embrace their looks and don't let know they look interfere with who they are. If you carry yourself with confidence and pride, others will notice.

And I'll bet it won't register until much, much later that the confident person they saw didn't have any hair. It is who we are inside that matters, not what's on the outside.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions