48 answers

18 Year Old High School Senior Curfew and House Rules

My 17 year daughter turns 18 next week. Wanted some input on what her curfew should be for school nights and weekends. She currently works part-time and is responsible with her job and school work. She had talked earlier this year about moving out and getting an apartment with her boyfriend (same age, same high school). We told her that if that was her choice, we wanted her to understand that we keep the car (we pay for insurance) and she would be on her own for college. That talk ended quickly, but not quietly. So, we can only anticipate what she feels about any rules we will tell her about in the next few days. Her current curfew is 10:00 during the week. She does have a 7:30 class every day at school and on weekends, curfew is 11:30. She also has early release from school getting out at 1:45 one day and 11:30 the next day. So, she and her boyfriend have plenty of free time together. In fact, she spends almost all free time with him. She is a good student but is feeling her oats and ready to spread her wings and fly. Any suggestions on curfews and/or house rules we should give her going forward?

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I would talk to her about what she thinks is reasonable and try to compromise. Not too much of an answer, but there it is :)

What my parents did for me was this...

It was my decision whether or not I was sleeping at home or at some one else's house for the night, but if I was coming home I had to be home at midnight so that they could lock the doors and go to bed at a reasonable time.

Maybe try something like that with her, but with the added rule that she has to spend X amount of nights at home so that she isn't sleeping over at her boyfriend's house all the time.

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No moving out till she is graduated from High School..
I like that you let her know she cannot take the car if she did move out.

11:00 during week, 12:00 weekends for curfew as long as she keeps her grades up.
Also no moaning in the morning.. She will learn about sleep.. Let her know you cannot sleep if she is not in house safe.and all of the locks are on.. .

Our daughter used to stay up (not out) till 1:00am in High school.. She is now in College and does not go to bed till 2 and 3 am.. Of course she makes it work and is always on the Dean's List, so it works for her..

She needs to do her own laundry and have chores around the house just as if she were a house mate..

Also just like a house mate, she needs to keep in touch about her whereabouts, so that if something were to happen you would know she is not on her schedule and needs to be checked on.. Even our daughter does this up at college.. They worry about each other if one of the girls is not where she said she would be..

3 moms found this helpful

I am really more into teaching responsibility then a strict curfew. My daughter is going to be twenty next month. I gave her a curfew of 9:00 in the weekdays and 11:00 on the weekends. By the time she turned 18 she realized the importance of sleep and the effect on her grades. She always keeps her GPA up and found it to be a lot harder on too little of sleep. Now she is in college in another state and I am glad that she is responsible and can keep her grades up and maintain her scholarship.

3 moms found this helpful

I think, that at 18 years old, I would go with an 10:30-11:00 weekday curfew, and a 12:00 weekend... Especially if she is responsible at work and school.

Personally, I wasn't given any curfew at all from the time I turned 15. That was when I started working, and I often worked late. Sometimes I wanted to hang out with friends a little after I got off... My dad knew I was responsible, and I rarely came home after 10-11 anyway, so he wasn't too strict about it. The rule was that as long as my grades were up, I was able to function during the day, and I wasn't out getting into trouble and partying, I could do what I wanted. I was the only one of my siblings with this rule, because none of them were able to responsibly handle the freedom... so they got flat-out curfews. It really depends on the person.

3 moms found this helpful

I turned 18 before I finished high school but there was never any big arguments over rules. My mom was big on knowing where I was, who I was with and when I was expected back. I was almost never out past 10 pm on weeknights so no official curfew was needed. I had a later weekend curfew by my last year of high school, I believed it was 1 am (I think my sister had 12:30). The curfew was flexible for special events. I got an extra half hour each year as I progressed through high school. I also had a regular Saturday night babysitting job for years and sometimes got back after 1am, but it was never an issue since I was working. On the one or two occasions I was out late and had not told my parents first I came home and my mom was sleeping in my bed so she knew exactly when I came home. After I was in college I was expected to let my parents know my plans as a courtesy when I was at home.

2 moms found this helpful

18 - try to remember what you felt like when you were 18. This is such a magic age for most of us. I believe that she should still have a reasonable curfew on school nights - maybe 11:00. One the weekends, holidays and summer - ease up a bit - especially since you say she is responsible. As long as she is in high school - she should have more rules than once she is out of school. She needs to understand that even though she is technically an "adult" - adulthood does just not come overnight because of a birthday. Our children had rules - even in college and now our 24 year old son lives with us and there are still rules for their safety mostly and our peace of mind. When they go out - they tell us where they are going, with who and when they will be home. We have contact numbers and addresses for their friends. This is NOT so we can check up on them but so that we can get to them if they need help. My husband is in law enforcement and our kid have heard stories of bad situations where people just do not make it home and someone has to go looking for them. Be safe - be responsible - be happy - talk to your daughter about these. But again, remember how you felt at 18.

2 moms found this helpful

If she obeys you then you are lucky. It is so hard to be this age. A legal adult still treated like a child. If she can't regulate her own life by now then how is she going to do it in a few months at college. She will be free for the first time in her life and it won't be while she's living a home and in a protected environment. If she stays up all night and doesn't go to class the consequences can be life long because her grades will reflect that. She needs to be able to make good and bad decisions so she can learn for herself.

I think by the time a child reaches 18 they should be able to make their own decisions regardless of living at home or in another arrangement. They have had 18 years of training and need the freedom to use it.

Telling her you won't pay for college is just emotional blackmail to me. Yes, it is your money to do with as you please. She can't get financial aid for year or more after moving out, even if she's married or living with the boyfriend and has kids. If she really wants to go to college and can't find a way then she may never try again and never get a degree.

2 moms found this helpful

Your house, Your rules. Adulthood is not an age. If you want the privilege, you also have the responsibility. If it is against your values to have her live with her boyfriend, you have every right to cut off the college money. If she wants to live on her own, than she pays for Everything. (Does she make enough for food, rent, clothes, insurance, etc.?) Maybe just looking at the $$ side of things would open her eyes. Make sure she knows the rules, and then follow through. She must remain respectful to you and your household. I personally think they are too young to move out if they are still in high school. I think curfews should stay the same. Nothing else has changed except that she is another day older, so why should the rules change? Sounds like you are making great decisions!

2 moms found this helpful

My house, my rules.
If I'm paying for your car insurance and your college tuition, you do what I say. I've been telling my almost 18 year old that since he was in middle school. He has seen friends act up and move out - their consequence: not be able to attend the college of their choice. I'm sure that was a toughy for the parents, but it set the tone for the rest of the group of kids who know that young man.
If you decide to move out - so be it. But, if you are moving, you are obviously an adult and you can make your own decisions -- BUT you can also pay your own bills.
LBC

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