30 answers

18 Year Old Hasn't Started Her Periods

Hello ladies! When my daughter hadn't started her periods by age 16 we called the Dr. and got told not to worry about it at all until she was 18, so we didn't. In all other ways she is developing normally, just no mentruation. Yesterday at school she was called to the nurses off ice for a consult. Apparently someone (we don't know who, and the nurse wouldn't say because of confidentiality)had reported that my daughter hadn't started her periods yet. The nurse took a quick look at her and said she seemed to be normal, it must just be that she was born without ovaries, and she won't be able to have children. Now, that had ocurred to us, but until seeing a Dr. we were hesitant to put it so bluntly. I have called the Dr. for an appt. but can't get in for 2 weeks (military healthcare). My daughter is really upset about what might be wrong with her, and despite all my reassurances is still crying every five minutes. I wondered if any of you had any words of wisdom that I could pass along until we see the Dr. Any help would be appreciated. Thank you.

By the way, she is not overly active, just a bit more than other kids her age, she does things like walk the dogs every night, and is involved in JROTC, which includes fitness.

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I am outraged at the school nurses COMPLETELY inappropriate behavior. I would suggest that you report her.
She is neither trained to make this sort of diagnosis nor has she given your daughter any of the appropriate examinations for such a determination. And she obviously has a terrible bedside manner.

If your daughter is physically developed in an age appropriate way, it is very unlikely that she doesn't have any ovaries. A womans ovaries produce many of the hormones for female puberty and are necessary for physical developments such as growing breasts.

You daughter should get into the care of an OB/GYN and get evaluated.
One of the things I would like to mention though, if your daughter is very skinny (whether she does sports or not is irrelevant) her missing period might just be related to a low body weight, the same would be true if she was obese, as that can cause hormonal imbalances as well.
Good luck!

5 moms found this helpful

I would tell her the nurse isn't qualified to make that kind of a diagnosis and was way off base. It is perfectly normal to start late. I was 15 1/2 when I finally did. For the few years before I did, all my friends were getting theres and I didn't understand why I didn't have mine and wished I would get it. Well I'm sure we all feel this way, once I got it I wished it would go away! Tell her to enjoy it while she can and the doctor will straighten everything out. You could try calling each day to see if something opens up from a cancellation.

As for the nurse, I would absolutely report her to the principal, maybe even the district. She had no right to make an assumption like that. She has no clue if your daughter has her overies or not. I can not believe she would make a comment like that to ANYONE. She has no business being a nurse, especially for kids if that is how she is going to treat them. Even once your daughter is ok from the doctor visit, she will remember that nurse for the rest of her life. It's just wrong and she needs to be fired for scaring your daughter that way. I bet the principal will find out who told the nurse and take appropriate actions with all.

4 moms found this helpful

I agree that the nurse was completely inappropriate.....as was the other student. The whole conversation was actually completely in violation of federal HIPPA privacy policies (between the nurse and the other student).

A school nurse has no way of knowing that your daughter was born without ovaries. That's just an assumption. The only way to tell would be with diagnostic imaging.

I was a gymnast and had completely irregular periods, but I started before my 13th birthday.

You should make an appointment with an OB/GYN for verification and to find out if there is a hormonal abnormality or something congenital that is preventing her periods from starting at this age.

4 moms found this helpful

I find that the nurses actions were completely inappropriate!!! I think that she needs to be reported to the principal and school board. She has absolutely nothing to back up her statement and has obviously caused distress to your daughter! I would just reassure your daughter that the nurse has no way to know for sure and that only the doctor will be able to give her anything positive. Remind her that even if she will be unable to conceive, that doesn't mean that she cannot be an amazing mother to a child someday. God only gives us what we can handle, and maybe she is meant to make a difference with a child who is not biologically hers. I am so sorry to hear about how this happened and hope that all turns out well.

4 moms found this helpful

If she were extremely physically fit and active, had very little body fat and/or had a really low Body Mass Index (like under 18), she might not have periods (primary amenorrhoea - period never started). Girls who are anorexic can have this problem. But I don't think her doctor or the school nurse would be saying she's perfectly healthy if she looked like she was starving. Try to ignore what the nurse said (or speak with a school administrator about her lack of sensitivity). She might have a little more medical knowledge than your average person on the street, but her bedside manner could stand a whole lot of improvement. The doctors appointment and any tests they do should be able to tell you what is going on. It's hard, but worrying isn't going to change anything.

3 moms found this helpful

I started at 17, after I stopped running track and cross-country. JROTC has some pretty intense workouts. Once I started I was very regular, and have had no problems. I can guess almost to the day when I will start each month. Also, I have 6 children. There could be something going on, but she could just be starting late because she is active. I would get it checked out, but I would not panic.

3 moms found this helpful

I am one who never had a period until after I was 16, and that was with the aid of medication. I married at 18. By the time I was 20 I wanted to have a baby, so my doctor operated on me to find out why I was not having periods. This was before laproscopic et.al. I had polycytic ovaries (and they didn't yet have a name for it) My uterus was undersized--about the size of an 11 yr-old, so it was assumed I might have contracted an infection of some sort that caused this. He recommended adoption. We proceeded to adopt a baby girl, but when she was 1 month old, I got pregnant. I had a 6 lb 8 oz baby girl, and in less than 2 years later had another one, a girl. So I had 3 girls, and everything inside me was normal! Pregnancy apparently healed my ovaries, and my uterus was normal (as a later surgery confirmed). I never had to have any meds and was regular as a clock. Tell your daughter that nurse was stupid, and doctors sometimes don't even know everything! She will have what God intends for her to have.

3 moms found this helpful

I'm completely horrified by the callous way the school nurse spoke to your daughter. Her behavior was completely unacceptable and I feel strongly that you should report her to the principal and the school board as mentioned in a previous post. She did not do any sort of internal examination, there was no ultrasound performed, etc so she has no real basis for making the assumption that your daughter has no ovaries and will be unable to have kids. That was just an awful and uninformed thing to say to a high schooler.

Women mature at different times. I got my period at 12 and my younger sister didn't get hers until she was 17. My best friend was almost 19 before she started her period and she is completely normal. Maybe there are other factors involved in your daughter's lack of menstruation. If she's athletic, very slender, or very overweight it can delay menstruation. It could also be something like a thryoid condition which is easily treatable with medication. If she's hard on herself about school and grades, it could be something as simple as stress. Anyhow, I just thought I might offer some thoughts as to what it could be related to so that maybe you can calm your daughter's fears while you wait for an appointment. More than likely she is completely fine and this has all been blown out of proportion. Best wishes!

3 moms found this helpful

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