18 Month Old Hitting Terible 2'S Early?

She sounds very smart and knows what she wants. When my daughter did this she was also about that age. She is testing you. I would try to distract with something she was allowed to do. If that wouldn't work I would put her for a time out in her crib until she calmed down. I would explain to her why it was wrong and then let her back out. I never had a problem with her going to be d in her crib for naps or at night. A lot of people do not beleive in time outs in the crib because then they think the child will associate the crib with punishment. I never had a problem. As my daughter was able to talk more she could express what she wanted and she had to get time outs less & less. I also give her choices so she feels independent. She is now 3 and she still has her tantrums occasionally but it is much less now. Children wnt what they want. That never stops.

Terrible twos definitley start at 18 months. I'm in it right now with my 21 month old and he started around 18 months too. He wants to do everything himself, has no fear of getting hurt, has no time for anything he doesn't want to do and will fight me to the bitter end. Its SOOOOO frustrating, but its him growing into himself so I do my best to distract, understand, teach him to understand, help him communicate, give him some freedom, pick my battles, let him live and learn to a point, and then just give him tons of love when we do have our "fights." I try to compromise when possible but some things are just not a compromise, but he'll live - he can't get his way everytime and usually he bounces back quickly after his tantrums. I try to keep him from getting bored (or keep him from getting to over stimulated), overtired or to hungry b/c then its even harder for him to control himself - as it is for most of us, right...when all else fails, I just put him in a safe place and give myself a timeout! : )

It's true the terrible twos DO start around 18 months. Take control now with patience, child-proofing and time-outs somewhere like a playpen where she can't get out! Let her scream, it won't hurt her. However, if you don't take control now, her teens will be a dangerouse, upsetting nightmare for both of you! Good luck, have patience, all a child's stages have both good and bad sides to them. Although teens are obnoxious, they dress, feed and potty themselves!

My son is younger (12 months) but also a handful! Help yourself by really babyproofing your house carefully. We have an entire upstairs (including his bedroom, our bedroom, a bathroom, and hallway) that is 100% baby friendly, and we also have a family room area that is gated off and safe. All outlets covered, baby gates installed, nothing that can be pulled off on top of a baby (even the TV is anchored!), all drawers and cabinets are locked (except for "his" drawers), etc.

The difference is amazing! By surrounding my son with "yes" instead of "no", he's become a much happier guy! I rarely even say no anymore, because he's allowed to play and crawl wherever he wants in those rooms. And tantrums have decreased tremendously.

Try it out! Better to a stop a tantrum before it starts, rather than do damage control with a screaming child. :) I also always trade stuff with my son. Ex: He grabs the knife off my plate at dinner, so I immediately hand him a spoon and say "Want to trade???" with a big smile. He grabs the spoon, I take the knife, and no screaming occurs!

I got all this advice from other moms on mamasource, and it's really helped make our house more peaceful. Good luck!

H. - you got a lot of good advice on ways to deter the behavior you don't want - times outs, etc. I won't add to that - but I want to say - remember what REALLY is dangerous and what is not. Climbing into the highchair - it may be scary for you the first or second time she does it - but if you show her how and lend a little support - she may be able to do it better than you think! But, it's not necessarily the most unsafe thing she could be doing. Climbing onto counters, tables etc, that may be a little more unsafe nevermind not where she should be climbing. Allow her some freedom and don't deter every or most behaviors that are coming naturally to her right now - you may realize that she can do more than you think (which is what my dgtr repeatedly shows me - 2.5 years) AND you may see a decrease in the tantrums!

Good luck!

Ha, ha, ha. I know exactly where you're coming from. I have three boys and my youngest is 15 mos. He's says no and I allow him on the couch, it's getting on tables and end tables and trying to get boxes out of the gwarbage without me seeing. I have told him firmly without raising my voice, or at least try to anyways, saying no and sometimes I say why in the simpliest form. No, you'll get hurt, you'll get a boo-boo. He still tries some things but there are things, I go, "uh, uh, no" and he stops and most of the times shaks his head no even before I say something because those are things that are a no-no. Just be consistent and then they will stop doing what they normally get into, but baby-proof your home and then toddler-proof your home. Mine is baby and toddler-proof. It's amazing what I haveto put up high and I mean high becaue they clim and move chairsto gt to high plafdces and I put them higher than high. Ha, ha, ha. Just remember be consistent and stand your ground and they need and I heard they want boundaries so set them. It's very tiring but it pays in the long run and when you are consistent and loving and firm and love her. Why can't she get on the couch? I fear for my son getting on the couch, but I have taught him to turn around by moving his body around and go down and that way they learn. I did that with all three of my boys and they did well catching on.
I learned also, you let her know that she is not to say no to you. Some people think I am wrong but there are people who agree with me. Starting now to teach her that she is not to say no to you and thn you can teach her how to talk calmer to you but respect her tht she gets angry. Don't discourage it but show her that you understand, but getting on the table is a no-no. Children need to know that they are understood...any questions or want to talk, I'm here.....
Well, hope this helped and remember this will not be forever, they grow up so fast and if you can, write the funniest things they do, say or return to you.

Hi H.,

My daughter did the same thing. She was sweet, happy, polite (to the point of adults being shocked) just about 95% of the time. Then one day she woke up and threw a tantrum on the floor: kicking legs, yelling no, fists clenched. I was shocked. I continued with the same discipline I had from the start and modeled the polite and sweet behavior still. I did not change. I did not get frustrated. I did not get mad. If I had those feelings I sat and took a breath and worked it out, without taking it out on her. This is definitely a phase but I have only seen this behavior get worse when parents let it get to them. So, remember to take a moment here and there to breath and remember it is just a phase and your sweet baby will return.

As far as the climbing thing, that is a developmental stage. They are inclined to climb at certain stages. It just so happens that the terrible twoness and climbing usually come together. Show her places where it is appropriate to climb. Or make sure to spot her. I know there are a million things to get done in the house (I am a SAHM that runs a preschool, talk about busy!) but your little one is only young once. Housework will ALWAYS be there and it doesn't mind waiting.

She should be climbing though. We have built indoor climbing structures in the playroom and living room. You can check out pictures here http://www.hotelfun4kids.com/hotelproducts/playareas/wood... and http://www.perfectplayhouses.com/Indoor.html . We built our own out of two by fours and veneered plywood. It is awesome and inexpensive. We eventually moved our first one out of doors and found another one being given away on craigslist or freecycle. Check with your local museums or science center, they are usually recycling old displays and such. I got one from our sciencenter and it was so huge that we have 3 structures in three different rooms!!! I like climbing on them tooo!

good luck.
P.

The terrible 2's is simply convenient alliteration. Most babies start around 18 months, when they have started to walk and are now exploring their expanding world. You encouraged her to stand and then walk and gave her much praise. Now she wants to climb and she is stifled. Yikes!! What is going on? Why can't she run in the street or poke her fingers in the electric outlet? She wants this and that, she wants everything. But she cant tell you much of anything. This is probably the most frustrating age she will ever have. Your most frustrating age will be HER teens.
So what do you do? Well the baby understands more than you think. The next time she has a hissy fit, stand her up and tell her face to face you will no longer tolerate that behavior. Tell her if she doesnt stop immediately she will get a time out. Then put her in time out. At that age I find the high chair easier since they cant escape. Of course she will scream and flail in the high chair, but as long as she cant get out or tip it over ignore her. Turn your back and do the dishes or something. Wait 2 minutes and then ask her if she is ready to get down. Hopefully she will nod her head yes. If she continues to rage ignore her again. She needs to know she will not get her way while having a fit. You mentioned that you came from very little discipline, but your daughter has to learn that anger is not a way to get things. Trust me, she will not like the time outs and her fits will get shorter. Meanwhile its up to you to anticipate her needs, why was she climbing the table? Did she want food or drink? Why cant she climb on the couch? its fun. If she goes to the TV and starts to scream ask her if she wants to watch TV? If she indicates yes, either let her or explain that she can later after lunch or whatever. Its important that she knows that YOU understand what she wants. Dont worry..soon she will be talking and then the whining starts. LOL But 3 year olds are wonderful and helpful and happy. Then she hits 4 and says 'why' every other word. Then she hits 5 and....oh never mind.. LOL Its a wonderful world of joy and frustration. Have a terrific 2009.

I know this is easier said than done but... BE PATIENT!! My son is 27 months and he's been experimenting with all types of different behaviors, some of them very aggravating. In my opinion the key is to keep yourself calm because thats how you stay consistent in your discipline. Here are just a few things I've tried and after a few days of the same he gets the point
*Be sure to tell her NO in a firm voice and make sure your face means it.
*Short time-outs and explain to her why she's getting them.
*Start telling her which actions make you happy, sad, mad, etc. make sure your face expresses each one.
*Totally distract her with a toy or sing....
*Singing goes a loooong way with toddlers. Make-up a song about anything. If you don't want her climbing, sing a song about getting down "Get down, get down, everybody, everywhere and repeat"
*Always offer her help to correct the wrongdoing, "That makes Mama sad when you throw food, but I will help you clean it up".
*Of course always reward her good behavior and don't give in to tantrums. She will eventually get the point but it takes time.
Toddlers are like miniature cavemen and we have to always be the one in charge. And last but not least if possible take a break from her once a week during the day. You will both appreciate each other that much more.

Hope this helps a little
Bea

First of all, if you haven't yet baby proofed your home, it's time to do so.

Start her on "time outs".. when she is being naughty and doing NO NO's, Say NO firmly and remove her from the situation completely...confine her to a corner, chair, or wall...a quiet place in the house away from anything that might keep her attention as you want her attention on you and what you are saying to her...Stay calm and stay with her and don't allow her to move from that spot until she is calm and responds nicely to you. Talk to her calmly...tell her things like you don't like her bad behavior and she needs to stop...let her know what you expect from her. Stay with it until she calms down. And when she does calm down and seems sorry for her bad behavior, end it with a hug...let her know you love her.
It will be hard at first...she'll fuss and carry on, trying to get out of the time out space as she is young and wont understand at first. Don't give in, be consistant and firm and after awhile she'll get it.

There are books on "Time outs" and I'm sure you will get many responses and suggestions here to try. Try them all, see what works for you and your daughter...

Also understand she is getting your attention with her naughty behaviors even though it's negitive attention, she's has your attention. So also begin to spend more special time with her....cuddling, taking walks, read to her, play her favorite game with her, etc etc.....this is all positive attention which I'm sure you'll both enjoy better.
We all need balance in our lives...even little ones.

Welcome to the world of two year olds. Yes 18 months.
She is in her second year. Be patient. She is
starting to be an independent person with ideas of her
own.

One day you will look back, and as bad as things seem,
and laugh and say 'where did the years go.'

merry christmas

Hi H., Yes, Your little girl at 17 months is starting the terrible two's. She is exerting her independence or what she would like to be. It is good that you can stay at home so you can be consistant with her. It is not an easy road so you must stick to your guns. She needs to know that you will not respond to screaming and stomping. This time will pass(hopefully soon) as long as you remain the parent. Children will wear you down so be prepared. Grandma Mary Mother of 5 Grandmother of 3 :-)