17Month Old Acts Different When Around Mom

Hi K.,

It seems that your daughter perhaps just misses you and wants to be with you when you get home. I don't see anything wrong with that.

I think if your hubby were the one to drop her off at the daycare, she would be leaning on him. It's the last person they see before they start their day away from home.

She's not even two years old. She's so little.

I would just give her lots of love and let her know you'll always be there for her.

One thing my hubby taught me. Dishes can wait, they'll always be there day in and day out. Do the dishes when she's in bed. Sounds to me that she just needs a little more attention. Our daughter was the same way.

My daughter is turning 18 this Sunday. She is barely ever home. She's either at her friends, boyfriends, or at work or scool. I hardly ever get to see my baby girl. Cherish them while they are young, because time flies and you'll look back and wish you had those moments back again!

I would give anything to have my daughter tugging on me wanting to be held or go for a walk, or play a game.

God Bless,

J.

1 mom found this helpful

My daughter is 17 months old and is doing the same thing! She is excited to see her daddy, but still wants Mommy most of the time. It is purely developmental! My daughter had been adding to her vocabulary on a daily basis and now she is back to grunting and pointing. Use your words is what we tell her. You are so right about getting at her level and telling her not now. It won't hurt her at all to be a bit whiny and frustrated. Distract her with some toys (or gasp! Sesame Street). They need to learn how to be patient. It is a life-long skill and as a teacher you know how important being patient is! Good luck--and this, too, shall pass!

This clinginess is a developmental thing common to this age group. So is favoring one parent over another at various stages of development. Enjoy it. As they get more mobile and aware they need and want mom less and as confidence builds want to explore more. This truly is a magical time, and probably some of the best baby moments you'll have. This is a sweet time, that lasts only a short sweet time. Love the time your in! It'll be over faster than a blink of an eye...and you'll miss it. Even if you have more children, because no two mom experiences are the same.

A child will often show their "worst" behavior when the they are with the person they are the most comfortable with. In this case it is you. You are your daughter's rock & she is most comfortable & sure of your reaction so she lets all her emotions out when you are around.

My son does the same thing. He loves his daddy but if it comes down to it & he is hurt or scared he prefers mommy. You are doing what you should. Ignore the bad, let her know it is not acceptable & let daddy take her to another room to play. Out of site out of mind. In a few minutes she will forget about mommy & give daddy her undevided attention. Let daddy comfort her more, even if this means leaving the room so she has to turn to daddy (I know this is hard). Make sure they have their special time without mommy around, when you need to do something around the house & she is under foot have daddy take her for a walk. Time will make he more independent.

Good luck

Wow! You very well could be describing my 16 month old! I figure she has been away from me all day at daycare and just wants to spend time with mom. I try to play with her for a good half hour before going in the kitchen to cook and then I try to let her help me if at all possible or else put her up in her high chair right in the kitchen with me and give her some colors or some stickers or whatever to keep her entertained. It is hard and sometimes it doesn't work. Yeah, she needs to learn how to entertain herself, but yet, I've been away from her all day...I want to spend time with her just as much as she wants to spend time with me so I can understand her being upset and hanging on me and such. We don’t have near as much trouble on the weekends as during the week. My husband doesn’t get home until 6:00 so that makes it hard too because there isn’t another person to help either play with her or cook. She does prefer me right now anyway so I’d probably be the one playing with her. I think this is just a very normal phase. It does get frustrating, but I agree with the others that we just need to go with it and enjoy it while it lasts because it won’t always be this way. Another thing I am trying to do is have either my husband or myself make something the night before so all you have to do is throw it in the oven so you don’t have to spend too much time cooking after work. This works out wonderful, but we haven’t gotten in the habit of doing it enough. It does make for a much easier stress free night during the week that is for sure.

I don't have any advice here- but had to let you know I'm going through the exact same thing with my 17 month old son. 60 seconds after arriving to pick him up after work, or when we get home, he's the same way. When I'm in the kitchen, he always wants to be there, up in my arms, watching, helping- pushing buttons (on the microwave if I need to defrost something), stirring anything... which is mostly wonderful, but is definitely more crabby when I arrive (whether he's with dad or his aunt, who does daycare for us). Will keep any eye on the advice responses- and let you know if I end up finding any other solutions. Not much of a help, just wanted you to know you're not alone....

Welcome to life with a toddler! It's a blast! ( a little sarcasm) Life with a toddler is very trying on one's patience. The same thing happens here, where he wants me and not dad and he's 2 (so sorry that this phase isn't ending soon). But I have found that with my son all he wants is a little attention from me. So when I'm busy in the kitchen, which seems to mean in toddler "I need Mommy now!", I try to think of tasks my son can help me with or I let him sit on the counter and watch what I'm doing. We'll count how many times I stir, I let him spray the Pam in the pan, or just talk about the food and how I'm cooking it. That usually seems to work. I don't think he really cares what we're doing, as long as he's doing something with me. Try it and see if it works for you. Hope it helps a bit.