17 Year Old Will Not Follow Diet Advise

I think that it's almost too late to start your son on a milk/gluten free diet now. That is such a HUGE lifestyle change that it needs to be done when the child is quite young. Considering his age, and the fact that in another year he's considered a legal adult, I'd let him make more decisions on his own. Granted, you might now agree with them and as a mother you only want the best for you son, but it sounds as though he knows the options and just chooses one over the other. He's entitled to this choice. This is obviously something you feel very strongly about, so keep your milk/gluten free diet at home, but TRUST him to make his own choices when he's not with you. Either he's going to do things the way you prefer, or he's going to do things his way and by fighting him on it, you'll only make things worse.

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I am trying to keep my 15 month old on a diet with no milk/dairy due to possible lactose problems. It is hard to do. Even some chicken nuggests have milk product in them.

In regards to you situation, your child is almost an adult. There is no way you will be able to keep him from eating what he wants when your not with him.

I am sorry, but I think your fighting a loosing battle.

When your son digests the gluten and casein there is a chemical produced which acts on his body much like morphine would. This is like an addiction, and it is difficult to break away from it. Yes, he suffers symptoms from it, but that is his "normal" since he hasn't yet experienced being clear of it. His body actually craves the milk and gluten, and it is very difficult for him to not have it - it is more than just being 17 years old (although that makes it that much more difficult!). If you could convince him to try it for a month, he might feel so good (after his withdrawal stage) that he might keep it up.

Let me know if you can get your 17 year old son to listen to you! Chances are you'll have to wait a couple of years when he no longer knows everything and decides he's tired of living like he does and wants to make the change himeself. Sorry if this sounds cynical, I have a 17 year old as well who will not listen to a thing. I remember being that age and just remember that there seems to a window of time that whatever you do say to them, they seem to almost do the exact opposite, just to prove something.
You can change your diet and have great influence on your 13 year old. He will see what you're doing. And even though he doesn't 'buy in' right away he will eventually.
My prayers go to you,
D.

I have a 4 year old son on the GF/CF diet. He has been on it half of his life and will now choose things that are GF/CF if he had the choice. However, it was extremely hard at the beginning. I would not go into this diet without having alternative food choices for him in the house. We went with soy products in place of dairy (yogurt, ice cream, milk, cheese, margarine). We also had to find replacements for his favorite pretzels, pizza, toast, cake, cookies, etc. It was not easy and we did not see this HUGE change in behavior (except now when he has a slip after two years we know he's eaten something non-GF/CF). At the age of 17, though, I think it would be difficult to make the change without him being on board. Maybe you can start buying some of the GF/CF foods and offer them to him just for the tasting. Some of them are actually quite tasty. (Even my husband now prefers some GF/CF foods over "regular" food.) He may find out that he actually enjoys some of these foods. If you need any suggestions for alternative foods, I would be happy to give you a list of things we use in our house. I would make this a gradual change for him if you can get him believing this is what HE would like to try.

Hi J.,
If he is not willing to get off milk perhaps you want to try gluten? I am on a gluten free diet and find it easier to find good substitutes for gluten free than I do for milk. I would benefit from being off milk myself due to asthma but haven't done it for long. I have some good gluten free recipes and cookbook recommendations. He has no idea what he would be like off milk or gluten perhaps you can cut a deal with him to do it for a week and have him track how he feels. 17 years old is a time where they are doing a lot of their own thinking. Is there other older children he can talk to that went off milk or gluten when they can recall the difference in how they feel. Our son is 14 and is no longer avoiding artificial colors and flavors because us and he no longer notice the difference. He would have temper tantrums and would be non-compliant. He might be ADHD, never had an official diagnosis. Best of luck, feel free to contact me for gluten free advice.
Peace and Blessings,
S.
homeschool mom and home business owner

Hi J.,

I applaud your efforts, but at this age, it's hard to get ANY child to eat well, follow dietary suggestions, etc regardless of any medical condition standing. In other words, it's almost impossible. They eat what tastes good and/or what they want with no regards to the consequences and it's a part of being a teenager. If anything can be done you'll need to convince him that making changes to his diet are of value to him and of interest - not that he shouldn't drink milk or eat gluten. Talk to him about it, point out some interesting things, tell him how exactly you think it would benefit. Other than that you have to recognize that HE is the one that needs to make the changes, not you - unfortunately.

Congrats on getting him to believe there is nothing wrong with having Autism! I think that's a bigger accomplishment than getting him to change his diet at 17.

:)

First of all, there ISN"T anything wrong with the way he is now. Please be very careful not to give him that message. Autism is a huge challenge (my son has it as well) but it also comes with many wonderful qualities: persistence, creative thinking, intellectual skills that you and I may not have, and many more. So many adults with autism grow up and tell us that they never felt accepted by their parents who were always trying to "fix" them.

As for the gfcf diet: there is no hard, scientific proof that it works. At 17, your son would have to really buy into the idea of trying the diet in order for you to make it work with him. The diet is a HUGE change in they way he currently eats and much of it isn't very tasty. He's nearly an adult--I don't think it's fair to try to force it on him.

J.

It seems to me that if your son at 17 is comfortable with who he is and is not negitivly effected by his challenges that would be a very positive thing. I would personally see that as a sucess that he doesn't think there is anything wrong with him.

He is 17 and nearly an adult if you can explain to him that you would like him to try the diet changes to see if it helps him and he goes for it great, give it a try. If not you really can't force him to do something simply because you want him to at this age.
Good luck

I'm not presuming to know the depth of your situation, but maybe if your son doesn't see anything wrong with the way he is now, you shouldn't either.

Maybe you can make a deal with him to try it for one week (or how ever long), and let him decide after that. You may need to bribe/reward him.

I think your son is sabotaging your efforts, because he is trying to get you to accept him for him. There are so many things with milk in them that he would have to carry around different food than other kids. That will make him stand out more than having Autism. Maybe you should meet him in the middle and try it only at home. If he starts seeing a change maybe he will decide this is a good thing. I also fear that he is trying to force you to accept him as he is, because it sounds like he has friends and they accept him as he is. Your son might be wondering why you cannot. He is not going to see this could be good for him, all he is going to see is that he is not good enough for you and you want to "fix" him. You should try to sit him down and talk it out. Tell him you only want to make his life easier, not change who he is. When it comes down to it, your son needs to decide to do this, because he is old enough that he will just keep going down to the corner store and buy what he wants. You are in a very tough position here, take it slow and make sure you share all your information with your son. Show him the information you have, take him to a doctor and have the doctor talk to him. I hope everything works out for you.

My son is 18 and has asperger's syndrome. I have heard of the gluten free diet. I have not tried it. it sounded too hard for us. I have a friend with a child with autism. She tried the diet with no affect. I have heard of some successes too. It is hard to not try everything you hear of to help your son. But, I think it will be very hard at this age to try a new diet if your son is not willing to go along with it. You can show him the info and maybe find non milk alternatives. I was thrilled that he was at a convenience store with friends. That is a great thing to accomplish, to be out and buying things and be with friends. If he is happy how he is that great too. I wouldn't mind talking to you more about the struggle of a teen age boy on the spectrum. Good Luck.

Hi Jen- The link between Autism, Milk and Gluten is not that it causes Autism, it is BELIEVED that many children who are on the autism spectrum have some yeast and gut conditions that gluten and dairy irritate. When this irritation occurs, the person has discomfort from the auto immune response that is going on in thier bodies. ASD children (particularly non-verbal ones) do not know why they "feel" bad and therefore resulting in "behaviors".

It is a hard transition for everyone and I could not imagine trying to start it with a 17 YO, especially one that appears a little high functioning as yours sounds. It is hard, but I would start small. Most people who start "the diet" of GFCF start with one or the other first. Since your son sounds more high functioning explain to him about the over growth of yeast, bugs in his stomach and intestines. Maybe get with a doctor like Dr. Sult who treats the yeast. Once you have been "detoxed" his systems of one he will start to feel better and will discover he does not want it. If you message me your e-mail I will get you signed up with a group called BEAT (biological effect in autism treatment). It is a wonderful group that can help you through the transition.

I know a lot of moms of autistic children who have had huge results with a nutritional food supplement that tastes great. If you can't eliminate certain foods then get the ultimate nutrition in him. If you would like, I can connect you with those moms and hear how this supplement has changed their lives! Everyone in the family can take the product too so he won't feel like it is just him that needs to have better health and wellness. --R. H.

Did you replace the Milk items with decent alternatives? Like Vanilla Soy milk or soy ice cream? Try taking him shopping with you to look for replacements for his favorite Milk items that he just can't live without.

The only thing I can think of is to help him empower himself to feel better.

Good Luck

The combination of autism and age 17 imply stubbornness. It's hard enough to try to convince a 17 year old to do almost anything they don't want to do without the added frustration of autism.

Back off and let him have his life J.. It will help you to get through this difficult year if you just let it all happen. One day he may come to you asking what that advice was that you tried to give him when he was younger. But until then, he is old enough to make purchasing decisions and you are old enough to know when you are fighting a losing battle.

He's 17 - I think that is a tough age to convince a person to change their eating habits. Perhaps you should wait a few years. You never mentioned how severe his autism is - is he going to be dependent on you for care and support forever, or will he be able to move out/go to college/etc.?