17 Year Old Wants to Drop Out of Track

Are you wanting a skinny daughter or a disciplined daughter? I find it odd that you brought up her height and weight. It seems as if you are concerned with her appearance rather than her ability to get into college. She is 17 and within a year, she will be an adult making her own decisions. You need to let her start now. If she does well on the ACT or SAT and has a 4.0, you don't need to worry about sports. Harvard and other Ivy League don't offer sports scholarships. If she is looking at a state school, she can get in strictly on grades and ACT scores. I am assuming she has excellent grades, because track doesn't make that big of an impression on schools. It would only matter if she was going against other kids of 4.0 or higher caliber.

As far as weight goes, I can't imagine that it is any of your business. She is almost an adult. You are crossing the line discussing her weight. What a personal insult!

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I don't know what kind of advice I can give, but I can tell you from a personal standpoint because I too dropped out of track (Many, many years ago) April of my Senior year. My father, who was very strict, wouldn't talk to me for over 2 weeks, my coach told me I was selfish because it was a sport that came very easy to me and I went to State every year, while many girls struggled to place in their events. I guess for me it was that I just wanted to do something different, I had had enough. The coach let me take a two week break to see if this was really what I wanted...and it was. I guess I wouldn't worry so much about her gaining weight because there are always other ways to stay active. I'm 5'7, 36 years old, have children and wear a size 8..I play vb, softball and enjoy chasing the kids around. I don't think track had that big of an influence on me with reguards to staying fit...that is a choice for each of us to make. If you tell your daughter she HAS to stay in track, will she give it 100%? I'm thinking she won't, I know I didn't and my dad pushing and the coach pushing just made it worse for me..the more they pushed, the more I wanted to get out of there. My mom was supportive of whatever I decided to do. Is track all that important? If she gaines some weight does that really matter? To this day when I see my old coach I really don't care for him, all I can think of is what an ass he was to me and I also think how awful my own father was to me, when in the end did it really matter? I think I turned out ok, I went to college, I have a beautiful home and a wonderful husband...did being in track have anything to do with that? I don't think so. I'd say just be supportive, talk with her to see if this is really what she wants. Maybe there is something else she could get involved with. My parents set some guidelines once I quit...my grades had to improve, which they did bein I had more time to study and I wasn't allowed to go to any track meets to watch. Dad said if I wanted to be there I shoud have stayed in track. So, even with the guidelines I still quit and I don't regret doing it, even though I had many people upset with me. Sorry for going on and on....just be supportive because in the end she is going to do what she wants to do. Can't make someone run when they don't want to and hopefully 10 years from now she will remember how supportive you were and how you were there for her, like my mom was for me. She let me make the mistakes I needed to make and not running track didn't make me who I am today. Good luck with everything, I hope you all can come to some agreement.

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B.,

Maybe the $75 dollar sport fee should be a problem for you!! I think the $3000.00 trip and new car should have been a problem too. You say that you want more for your kids, but what are you teaching them?

You're worried about college, but I think you have larger issues at hand, to deal with first. Are you really sure you want more for your children? If so, I think it's time to close the bank!

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I applaud you - stick to your guns. Too many times we let our children start and quit things - OK, at 17 they aren't children......... They need to stick it out and yep, they might be unhappy at times but they will make it through. Good for you!!! You sound like a common sense mom who is trying to teach the "Real" lessons in life!!

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I agree with the start to finish. And yes EVERYTHING they do in high school counts on a resume for college.......everything. It is April, track will only continue another month or 2, it won't break her to pieces to finish it. I would talk to her coach and ask him to speak with her. Find out if there is anything she needs to improve on and show tons of interest. Staying with it is so very important. I have 4 children, at one point they were all teenagers at one time. 2 have stayed with what they joined since they were 4, the other 2 did not. The 2 that stayed active have a much higher GPA, they are much more committed to their future, and seem all around happier. The 2 that did not, have not found their passion, yes, they have learned to be prepared for their future, but through the school of hard knocks and reaching their goals will take longer. Who is to say which is better? The 2 that did not finish are much more street wise than the 2 that did. They have a common sense, and know that they will have to work harder to get to their goal. The two that finished have always worked hard but seem to expect more and are very hard on themselves if they fail at something. (meaning much more stressed) Your daughter should really be looking at colleges at this point. Point her head in that direction, encourage her to stay with it and speak to her guidance councilor. Scholarships for juniors will be posted very soon and so many of them have deadlines. If track is something she just started, and hasn't done all of her life, then maybe it just isn't for her, but, if she has been involved for a few years, do not let her quit. And definately encourage replacing it with another activity such as ambassadors, peer helping or like you said, a job. High school jrs. and srs. seem to find a lot of nothing to do, which can lead to the hard knocks.

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I did my senior college research paper on children (not just little ones) sports and self-esteem. The number one reason younger kids drop out of sports is that they are not having fun. That was ALWAYS my parents philosophy--they would sign us up for anything and everything (within reason) as long as we were having FUN (even in high school). My junior year of HS, I chose to try out for soccer instead of softball (which I had played since I was 6!) I think my dad (who had been my rec league softball coach most of those years) was a bit disappointed, but he supported my decision. I ended up playing at a D-III college and was a captain my sophomore year. Bottom line, soccer (in HS) was more fun for me (and I didn't even get much playing time until college!) WHile I do partly agree with the "finish what you start" (especially when it is a committment that other people are counting on and there aren't others to "replace" you), but high school is tough enough without being forced to do extra curricular activities that are not fun. I encourage you to get to the bottom of WHY she doesn't want to do track and then support her decision (support is so important in HS!) Then encourage her to at least look into other sports, clubs, activities (school OR community) that she could get involved in over the summer or during her senior year. If you are concerned about the "resume" for college applications, volunteering (even once a week) with an organization she likes looks GREAT!! I am in a relatively small town/city that does have a hospital, and they have a "volunteen" program for the summer--it is highly successful. Good Luck, but from personal experience (of myself and my 3 younger siblings), please try not to force her to continue an activity that is no longer enjoyable. There are many character (and resume) building activities beyond sports.

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