16 Month Old Will Not Sleep at ALL

A good trick for helping with teething problems. Wet half of a washcloth, twist with wet at 1 end and put it in the freezer. The dry part is for the baby to hold. My daughter loved to chew on the washcloth and it is gentle on the babies gums!

Try putting a radio in his room and leaving the door open a little the white noise seems to help sometimes, or some soft music my daughter and son love that.

S.,
I think there may be age related issues for your son, and I have heard that kids go through these from time to time. My first question is this: do you have a little routine for preparing your son mentally for sleep time? I used to go around the room and we had a little deal of saying nite-nite to all the bunnies and pictures and other things. My daughter took a binky and got this for nap time and bed time after she turned 2. Sometimes I would rub her back or stroke her head and this helped. Look into Dr. T. Berry Brazelton for sleep advice. He has a book about this very topic. Otherwise, just let him cry, it won't hurt him a bit. He will figure it out if you gently tell him it's time for a rest. And know that he will also outgrow this little problem in time. Best of luck. J.

Babies can get you well trained at that age. Retraining will be h*** (o* your ears) but is possible.

Set a soothing routine for pre-bedtime, and stick with it. Leave the door open and let him cry, checking back and soothing him every 15 minutes or so. This will reassure your son that he is not abandoned, and that you are readily accessible and care.

Don't pick him up. Soothe him in the crib. Stay calm, speak soothingly, and leave the room. Repeat until he has worn himself out and sleeps. The first few nights he will rant and howl to beat the band, but gradually his fears will subside and he will sleep thru the night with no fuss beyond a tuck-in. Separation anxiety is normal at this age. It will pass.

Make sure the day naps are not too long.

We had this problem with my daughter, and we started sitting in her room with her in the crib and just talking to her. Eventually this worked. It did take some time with the crying though. As hard as it is you do have to let them cry it out.

Is it just when you shut the door only that he starts to cry? I was closing the door for a while in the beginning as we have a cat, but didn't need to worry after as she steered well away from the baby, smells and noise (especially the noise, unless something really was going on that she had to check out, of course)...
It sounds like a separation anxiety. Are you with him constantly during the day (SAHM?)? If so, try just keeping the door open (if this is the cause) and just slowly leaving him (safely) in a room for a quick time to play (and during nap) by himself). "Wean" him on the rocking time so you do not shock him... Rub his feet and toes. especially as he is teething~ they love that! ;)

Have faith, you'll get your sleeping angel back! ;)

Is it just when you shut the door? Could you leave the door open and put a gate in his doorway? I bought my son a small flashlight that he can shine around his room, then after he falls asleep I go in and turn it off and put it away.

It sounds like you may have two issues here: a reluctance to go to bed, and possibly pain that is causing him to cry. The pain may be his teeth, but if he's only crying once he's laid down, you may want to have his ears checked for infection, which doesn't always cause fever.
As far as establishing a peaceful bedtime, have you considered just rocking him? The time when children are small and need this type of comfort is finite, and if we deny them, it frequently causes them to be insecure later. Providing comfort does not spoil a child, and encourages the security to be independent as they grow. If we don't allow them to need us when they're little, when will we? It's really not a big sacrifice to invest this time in your son, and you may discover that it gives you a precious opportunity to bond with him and escape all the nagging details of life for a little while. All too soon, he'll be too big to cradle, and maybe in too much of a hurry for hugs and kisses.

I don't understand why you don't want to rock him to sleep. Does the Motrin have caffeine in it? Is it prescribed for him? I don't know why you are closing the door on him, maybe he doesn't like that, or the dark.

It will pass! My son (17 months) has been going through this off and on. He was REALLY bad about 1.5 months ago. I think they are active during the day so they dont notice that their teeth are bothering them. Then they have to rest and be still at bed time and WOW those teeth really hurt!! My son is cutting his molars and all 4 cupsids. The last 4 days have been MISERABLE but I know it will pass and hes just in pain. We alternate motrin and tylenol. Now that your son is getting bigger you may be able to increase the dosage, just check with your peds office first for accurate dosing. Also, if you can manage it, you can put the tylenol or motrin right on the tooth and it speeds a little relief. Hang in there Mom! You're doing great!!

What are the "obvious reasons" that you don't want to rock him to sleep? Sorry, I personally don't see any reason why you wouldn't want to rock a baby to sleep. Some babies need that comfort especially when they are teething. 4 molars! WOW, that's gotta hurt!! What works great for my baby when teething is the homeopathic teething tablets you can get at the health food store. Rest assured, if you rock him to sleep you won't be doing it for years. At his age it won't be long now until he no longer wants you to rock him.
Meet all of your baby's needs and your life will be much more peaceful, and joyful.

Dear S.,

Aside from the Motrin and orajel to numb his gums, try giving him a warm bath and some cuddle time in a comfortable chair with his favorite book. Maybe leave the hall light on and provide some music for him to fall asleep to. If he continues to scream, you may want to have his pediatrician check to make sure nothing else is going on, like an ear infection. Hope this helps.

Hi Shelley,

My oldest daughter was not a very good sleeper for the first two years. Yes, most of the time I rocked her, grumbling and complaing, but I rocked her. Now, almost 12 years later with 2 daughters one shy of 14 and the other 10. I would gladly have that time back, to hold, cradle, rock and singing to my children one more time. I hope that you will not be offended, but enjoy the journey. I know that the days are long, and the chores endless, but time equals love to all children and in the blink of an eye your little one will be looking you in the eye or towering you and all you'll want to do is rock him. Have you ever read the book "Love you Forever", if not get it, you'll never look at rocking your precious baby the same.

God Bless You,
M.

Two questions on this one - does he have this problem at naptime? If so, is it possible that he has an ear infection? Of course, in order to really answer that one, you might have to take him to the doctor. However, I know from personal experience that if you have an ear ache it is worse when you lay down. In fact it throbbs horribly. I actually went to the med center recently because it was so bad. Come to find out - it wasn't an ear infection but that my inner ear is stuffed up (like it has a cold).

The other question, especially if he doesn't have a problem at nap time, is does he have a night light. It seemed like my oldest daughter went through a little bit of a problem and when we put a night light in the room it ended it. It seemed like at that age they become more aware of their surroundings, and she became afraid of the dark. To this day (and she's now 4, sister's almost 3) they still have a night light in their room.

Sorry, I can not give you any ideas on how to correct this. However, do not give up on any ideas. I am still in the same room with my 7 and 3 year old! I too could not stand the sound of crying at that age and here I am still not able to break it! Maybe try putting him down and then you go to a room where you can not hear him cry so loud, check every 10 minutes or so. But like I said I am not one to offer good advice, but try your hardest to do whatever so you do not end up like me :-) Good luck.

It sounds like typical separation anxiety. Try sitting beside his bed when you put him to bed until he falls asleep. Do this every night and you should notice that eventually time spent will lessen and eventually (2 weeks) he will go to sleep alone. When sitting beside him - do not make eye contact. Turn lights off. If you must console him, just reassure him that you are there, lay him back down and repeat if necessary. It worked wonders with my granddaughter. It took about 1 week with her and she went to bed on her own after that.

We need to be soo flexible as moms. A baby who sleeps great most of time is trying to tell you something when he cries. It probably hurts more at night and what are the obvious reasons for not rocking him to sleep? Babies are only little for so long and it is a biological need for cuddling - not only do we thrive on it, babies literally die when it is withheld completely (odd studies have been done to prove this). Give yourself and your baby a break and cuddle him to sleep.

I have one that won't sleep either! We had to initiate a strict bed time routine. It takes a good 20-30 minutes and includes a snack, brushing her teeth, saying prayers, reading and back patting. The better she does with her routine-the more books she gets to read. I had to quit rocking her and start patting her back. As time has gone on, I'm down to patting for only 2 minutes or less. She now knows exactly what to expect and goes to sleep without too much trouble-well at least most of the time! I do have to leave her door open though.

Im so sorry you had to get some sarcastic, negative answers on here when you were looking for genuine advice. People can be so rude! I totally understand the 'obvious reasons' for not rocking your baby to sleep. I will rock my kids all day long, but not to sleep! I am sick of people bowing down to their kids and creating whiney brats that the rest of us have to deal with! Okay...off my soapbox now! Maybe try the flashlight...even just a small one that will take his mind off of crying for you. Since you are using the motrin, it's probably NOT the teeth, and even if it is, he can't refuse to sleep until they are all in! LOL Of course I am no expert, but it really sounds like habit rather than pain. You probably already know that your baby can outscream your patience, so be confident in your God given mommy skills...you guys will be over this in no time!

On a side note, they make devices now that can detect fluid behind your childs eardrum, indicating possible infection. The are pretty accurate, but Im not sure how expensive. It may be a good investment for you, or even just for peace of mind!
~L.

To me... it sounds like seperation anxiety and the cutting molars. My daughter tends to be bothered more at night by her teeth when she is cutting new ones. Four molars is nothing to sneeze at! Maybe he is fine during the day because he is engaged in alot of activity...but then when it is time to settle down.. he realizes he is in pain and needs comfort.

He could also be experiencing seperation anxiety. As suggested...try leaving the door open. Make sure you have a solid bedtime routine and have eased his pain as much as possible.

Maybe try propping up the head of the mattress. I know when you lay down and you have a cold everything settles to one side or the other. It might help releave some of the pressure off of the area where his molars are comming in. Also try putting a warm washcloth on his cheeks for awhile before bed to help with the pain. Just a thought I hope this helps. Just because he is not running a fever doesnt mean that he wont have an ear infection.

We use the techniques described in The Baby Wisperer. She suggests such loving strategies and differs the strategies for different ages. The author doesn't believe in crying it out and it sounds like that isn't working for you either. I put my 15 month old in bed and sit next to his crib talking to him, singing to him, or just staying quiet until he falls asleep. If he cries, he gets plenty of hugs, but he stays in the crib. He always fell asleep in 10-15 minutes, but starting this month, 15 months, he takes up to an hour to fall asleep. It is tough to think about the housework I could be doing while I'm standing there, but then I remember that he is only 15 months once, and this stage will pass and I should memorize everything about him while he is still my baby.

The molars are probably his biggest issue right now. Ever try to go to sleep with aching muscles? You could put up with it while you were busy during the day, but at night when all is quiet and still, it's hard to ignore it and just go to sleep. Most pain killers have little effect - they are designed that way so kids don't overdose. I wouldn't worry that this will be a habit. He needs some extra comfort right now. Could you leave the door open? When you don't feel good, it's nicer to know someone is only a call away.