16 Month Old Neat Freak

We all have obsessive-compulsive streaks. Mine also happens to be organization and neatness. I think it's common and may be perfectly normal. Kids like familiarity and it may just be his way of controlling his environment, which is a skill he is just learning. Humor him and let him clean up! Im sure it will be no time before he decides its not so fun...lol! You could always mention it to the doc at the next visit just to set your mind at ease. People DO have OCD problems and if it does turn into something significant, you will be able to teach him how to live with it. Kudos for being so in tune to your kids!
~L.

1 mom found this helpful

S.-
You arelucky. Appreciate the help while you have it.It will not last forever. Write it in his baby book and you can both have a good laugh when he grows up. Most kids don't care a single bit good luck P.

My son is the same age and does the same thing, I just enjoy it while it last!

I have 2 boys just like that. The funny thing is they are very different. They are now 11 and 5. The oldest has a very calm disposition, but if something is off in his world watch out. 0 to 10 in a split second over what seems like nothing to us. By 1 yr old he would pack his suitcase for grandma's house "just right". His shoes and socks needed to be put on and tied just right...very intense and amazingly gifted. I found by 2 he could sit for hours and put puzzles together, but he still said very little. I have spent most of his life teaching him how to have fun and not take life so seriously, but his bedroom is always immaculate. He tends to not mind the dust so much, but he HATES clutter!

Then there is my 5 yr old. At 2 he refused to use the restroom at Hobby Lobby because it was too dirty. When I suggested that he use the other one he said no that was for girls and he wanted me to tell someone to clean his bathroom. He would not use the dirty bathroom or use the girls when he was clearly a boy. He waited until our next stop. He has never been interested in puzzles but he will talk whether anyone is listening or not...as I type he is in the kitchen preparing his meal and singing. He ponders life...constantly...I mean forever to do anything because he has to talk it all out! I have spent most of his life teaching him that sometimes you just have to do things, it may not make sense, but it is life..and he continues to disagree. (he is 5, who has these conversations with a 5 yr old) He does not mind clutter but he HATES dirt!

I have 2 older daughters who think they are both freaky and hilarious...and by the way rarely pick up after themselves...they are always getting the responsibility lecture.

I had so many of the same OCD thoughts early on, but I think it made me more aware of their struggles and helped me to do things to offset. For example the oldest struggled with perfect laces so we bought him velcro until he out grew it. The youngest needs plenty of time so he gets up early. They are both so very organized that they both help me clean, cook, decorate, build...you name it, and when we are done they both know right where everything goes.

I could go on forever telling you funny things that they have done over the years, and so many pictures and videos.

Ok, I have to tell you one more. When my 5 yr old was a toddler and we would shop, he wanted down to pick stuff up off the floor. At first I said no. That is why moms came up with the term "ocky". But he is very persistent and I was curious. In the beginning he would just pick it up and leave it in the cart or throw it away. Now you have to keep in mind that he has been cleaning the floors of stores for a couple of years now, so I was not paying much attention to what he would do with the stuff. Although sometimes I would find stuff in the washer and dryer...anyway for Christmas when he was 3 he handed me a package. I opened it and it was a beautiful ornament that he had made for me out of the things he had been getting off the floors of these department stores. He had made it, wrapped it and put it under the tree with out a single person seeing it.

All this to say, what joy and laughter that little boy will bring to your home, because of his not so typical behavior.
Normal...?...It's not normal for me, but it is definitely normal to them.

S.,

All of my nephews and my daughter have gone through this stage- they see you doing it and they mimic. ENJOY it while it lasts!

S.

My now four year old would walk through Wal-mart with me and straighten the aisles. If a box of cereal was out of place she would put it where it belongs. If someone had picked up a can of vegetables, she would pull the others forward. By the time we had our shopping done, the place was neat as could be. She has finally out grown it. She still has a few odd behaviors. I never worried, her mother is a perfectionist so why shouldn't she be one. I think it's just a normal phase they go through. Believe me, it won't last long because her bedroom would tell you a different story.

Your story reminds me exactly of my now 6 year old. Her "play" at that age was putting toys in perfect little lines - she'd get very upset if it wasn't just right. Another friend the same age had the same habit. My daughter outgrew it, and then some. How I wish she was that neat now!!

Normal...like someone else said, enjoy it while it lasts.

my 2 yr old is constantly pointing out any little piece of fuzz on the floor. Then tells me we have to vaccuum...he will actually stand at the locked closet door and demand the vaccuum to "clean up all this mess". Most of the time I can just tell him I will take care of it later...but even then he will pick up the one piece of fuzz and throw it in the garbage. The way I see it is it's just a phase (I can't imagine a 16 yr old wanting to do this...LOL), but if it sticks I won't complain.

My friend's son hates for his hands to be dirty. He hates eating chips and sandwhiches for this reason. He won't play in the dirt or sand, hate to paint or glue and will only color with crayons! Not your typical boy!

Hi S.,

If I was to take a guess I would say that his "obsessions" is a sign of a very intelligent little boy. All of these are skills past his age, so I think you have an over-acheiver!!! Congrats...D.

I think it's normal. My son used to line up all his cars according to color. Both my kids now (3 and 5), like to organize the misplaced candy at the check out in the grocery store!

I think you have more than enough advise so I have none for you but I have a friend who called this stage the parking attendent stage. Her little boy had to line up eveything in neat rows- his cars, toys, shoes...

Bring it up with his pediatrician if you get really worried about it, otherwise enjoy it and see if he won't organize your cupborads or something useful :) Just kidding

I agree with Lacey, I think many of us have OCD streaks. I am am a neat freak too, and always have been, on the plus side I have one of the neatest homes, on the other hand I have had to learn when to let go! My niece was this way when she was young, and it was cute, and has not been a broblem for her.
I think he is fine, and like Lacey said, you are aware and can help him if it does become a problem. I wish my 13 year old had this!

Being a special ed teacher I find the term "normal" to be very interesting. It sounds to me like it is normal for him. My daughter has been the same way since 16-18 months. She would tell me things are "messy". She got upset with me at Walmart once because there were marks on the floor and I wouldn't fix it. Once at mcd's she wouldn't eat bc there had been a leak in the roof and the ceiling had a mark on it. I was concerned at first, too, but she is now 21 months old and a great helper at picking up toys when we are done. I say to embrace the help and to make sure you are playing toys with him too (not just picking up). I wondered if that was how she saw me playing-just by putting things away. I make sure to spend time playing with her too. I think that has helped. Good luck!

Hi S.,

My daughter (now she's 17) used to be this way. She barely started walking, and was arranging everything neatly and making sure all is in place. Dishes, clothes, toys, everything was cleaned up and put to places BY HER. It was REALLY strange, as her brothers were 6 and 8 years old who could care less about any order (ofcourse). I was not worried though. it is only strange, that some people's characters show so early. My girl was still very little (I do not remember the age exactly, but somewhere around 2 years old) and she ate about 5 times a day, as opposed to us all eating only three times a day. So, when her eating time was coming, she already knew it as she was becoming hungry, she went to the cupboard, pulled out plates, and walked to the dining table, and placed the plates neatly on each corner of the table, brought spoons, and walked over to her brothers, one by one, taking them by hand, and ushering to the table, patting the chair, making them to sit down in front of a plate she put on the table. This done, brothers sitting, she sat down herself by another empty plate, and looked at me, with a big hope of being fed. As my sons did not want to eat, they just sat there with her, smiling and talking, while their sister ate. This lasted for quite awhile. I understand, this was a part of the orderly world she liked,
so she took a good care of it, and we hepled her to be happy.

Now, she is big, and still very neat, even her handwriting is very neat, and all the things in her room are in place. She also studies well, and does not miss homework assignments, as this is the way how the world for her is settled.

I am a teacher also, and S., I remember one situation from my teaching experience: there was a boy in the 3rd grade, and he was quite an unhappy boy, as in his family, nobody needed him. See, he was born to 16 years single old mom, and although she raised him, say: ookay, at some point she got married and they had a little girl. Ever since, the boy became a 'not-needed luggage', and he felt it with a big pain. Also, in that family, there was drinking going on, and no order or rules, in one word, a total mess. This is a background I tell you. Now, knowing that, think about the moment I wanted to share with you: one day he comes to me and says: "teacher, do you know what bothers me the most?" I say: "No, Keyo, what is it?" He says: "It concerns me to the point of getting angry, that the Universe is infinite!!!" THAT puzzled me to no end, and I kept thinking and thinking about his notion that he trusted to share with me, until I connected it to his life situation. There is no set rules, or any order in his life, no booundaries and no possibility for him to make any clear prediction about the coming evening: will he be fed, or forgotten, will he have peace to sleep or will there be a gathering of drunken people making noise, will he be punished for nothing, or will it pass quietly... You know what I mean? He probably carried this feeling of uncertainly over to the thoughts about Universe... It happened about 10 years ago. Keyo is a nice young man now, he is fixing cars, and you know, he really has all his tools neatly organized, and keeps the timeschedule for his customers, and makes his life as orderly as he can. :)
So, I believe there is absolutely nothing to worry about your little son, he is just one person who needs things in order, and the only thing you can do, is help him to see the world and his little universe to be orderly, just by keeping the space as he wishes it to be. Also, scheduling eating time and walking time, should be a goos help for him.

Merry Days, happy coming New Year to your great family!

My sister has OCD, and from what you said, it doesn't sound like he has it. People with OCD usually have the impulse to do things over and over again, not just to clean up. For example, if he needed to put the remote away five or six times in a row, and then threw a fit if he wasn't allowed to do this, or began screaming because he saw a hair (or something else dirty) in his bathwater, then you would need to be concerned about OCD. It sounds to me like he is just trying to get your attention. Keep an eye on this, though, the sooner children receive therapy for OCD, the easier it is to break their behavior patterns.

I'm interested to know what kind of respones you got. My 26 month old is always lining things up! She's obsessed. She mostly lines up her toys. She also has routines she cannot escape, i.e., certain color sippy cup; only the elmo spoon; pillow placement at night. Subject matter shifts but the routines are extreme. I feel it's semi-normal 2yr old stuff but I'm still interested to see how many responses you got. Thanks.

I think it's neat and good. I wouldn't worry about anything. It's just good. My little sister was the same way.

Ah, the good old days! Enjoy it while you can!
My daughter also did this. She'd pick things up and put them away, or if I dripped a spot of oatmeal while helping her with breakfast, would point to it and refuse to continue with breakfast until it was cleaned up.
She is now 16 and I swear I haven't seen the floor of her room for months. It's a battle to get her to clean up after herself. I miss my little helper!
k

S.,

TOTALLY NORMAL...well, at least for my son. I had a child education teacher laugh and call him "a little OCD" but my son did the same thing. His obsession was keeping things in a row. He would not "play" with his little toy cars, he would line them up, like in a parking lot. Everything had to be lined up. He would take all the toys laying out on the ground, and instead of putting them away (which would have been much more helpful) he would line them all up in a 12 foot line. If my husband or I accidently stepped on the line and broke it, he would get upset and have to re-do it. He's eventually grown out of it (he's 3 now) and now won't help put away toys at all, so enjoy it while it lasts!

I think both of my kids went through this stage. I just went with it and created jobs where they could help me. Whether that be bringing things to the kitchen counter or giving them a little toy vacuum or a little brush and pan to sweep. Remember you went through the opposite phase - dump all the toys out of the bin. Now they understand that they get put away too. Make "clean up clean up everybody do your part" part of his day - we clean up before bed and it will be a habit you'll love as they get older!

OCD is more. There would be fits if things didn't happen their way. If you are really concerned about OCD ask your doctor, but it just sounds like a normal phase to me.

Yep this is totally normal for this age. Your mom just doesn't remember. Read any parenting book for behavior around 18 mos or so. They are learning they have control over things & how things are supposed to be.
Brekka

Oh my goodness! I'm glad I am not the only one. My son totally used to do things like this. He had to have all the doors closed and the chairs pushed into the table. Just little things that he could control himself. He is Four years old now, and it has tapered off some. He hasn't turned out as weird as I thought he would.:) He does the normal kid thing like hiding toys under his bed when I tell him to put them away. My son doesn't have OCD, and I doubt yours does. Just enjoy how funny it is for now. Take care!

My 3 year old does the same things and has since she was able to walk. I spoke with my doctor about it and his response made sense. We are always trying to teach children our routines, when to wake up, when to go to bed, when to get dressed, when to eat. Some kids just take the routine very seriously and sometimes only in certain areas. For some it's the need to get dressed the same, or keep thier toys in the same bins. These are all habits that we as parents reinforce. I wouldn't get too worried about OCD...this may just be a comfort thing for your child.

It is normal, both my kids went through the same phase at the same age. Too bad it doesn't last :(