July 15, 2008,
M.M. asks from Dixon, MO on July 14, 2008
16 Month Old Baby Girl Not Sleeping Through the Night.
Hello, mayday! mayday! i have a 16 yr old baby girl that does not sleep through the night. she gets up like two and three times a night. not necessarily to drink her sippy cup. sometimes all i have to do is walk the floor with her until she falls back asleep. but this is getting out of hand. i am so tired. i work along with my husband full time. and i have to get up at 4:30am each morning for work. we have a monitor in her room so i can hear her every move. what should i do? i thought about letting her cry it out but then i felt gulity. i am open to any suggestions.
M.F. answers from Kansas City on July 14, 2008
oh dear M.! i think the important thing is for you to change your way of thinking about this! you won't feel guilty, if you know you're doing what's good for her.(and you & hubby,too)
this is one of those things that will go on as long as you let it.
go wiht "the ladies on this one and turn the monitor off.
God bless ya.
B.S. answers from Kansas City on July 14, 2008
Yeah, I'd let her cry. Especially if she doesn't need anything...It's going to be the hardest thing you've ever done (I'm going through it now for the second time) but it will be SO worth it. You'll just need lots of backup and support from your hubby. And yes, it's a great idea to do it on the weekend when there isn't anywhere to be the next day and you have someone to help!
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M.K. answers from Kansas City on July 15, 2008
She is old enough that you can let her cry it out. If it makes you feel better, put a nightlight in her room so you don't feel as though you left her "in the dark". Also, TURN OFF YOUR MONITOR!! You are waking up with every whimper, and that doesn't allow her to work it out on her own. If you don't have the monitor, you will still hear her when she really needs you, but you won't wake up every time she rolls over. You'll both sleep better!
K.W. answers from St. Louis on July 15, 2008
I am going to rock the boat here, I am not an advocate of CIO. My daughter is 27 months old and sleeps through the night 4 to 5 nights a week, on the other nights she and I spend an hour or two on the couch. She is a very independent little girl and likes to do things on her own during the day. I feel that she will only be little once and if she needs me in the night, I gladly spend that time with her. It is just her and I in the middle of the night. It will get better. You have to do what is in your heart. None of my kids slept all night every night until they were over 2. I do agree with getting the monitor out of the room and putting a night light in the room, maybe even some soft music or white noise. But go to her if she wakes up in the night. Take her to the couch or your bed and go back to sleep with her. (Only my opinion)
A.M. answers from St. Louis on July 14, 2008
If all you have to do is walk around with her and she doesn't NEED anything, maybe it is a good time to let her cry it out. Maybe try this on the weekend.
* Friday night - Sorry hunny, but you need to learn to go back to sleep without a nice walk around the room (Believe me, it WILL take will power and spousal back-up. She will cry harder and longer once she realizes you are not running to her!)
* Saturday night - Should not cry nearly as long as the previous night. She will get the hang of this.
Most importantly, trust yourself. If you think, as her mother, you NEED to go in that room at 2 am because she just won't stop crying, or it's the cry she uses (i.e. i'm hurt, hungry, thirsty, etc.) go in and get out. Just remember, the more she sees you, the longer this process will take. Send in your husband to assist the situation. If she needs something, he can get it. If she insists on crying until you come in, It is a cycle that has to be broken!! Be strong and good luck
P.S. the first night is the hardest!
A.H. answers from St. Joseph on July 15, 2008
I agree to turn off the baby monitor at night--and don't worry, you'll hear her if she needs you (I can sleep through a thunderstorm, but if, across the house, one of my kids whimpers from a bad dream, I'm suddenly wide awake, lol).
Other than that, I'm with Kelly W. on this one--go with your heart. I have three children, and I never was able to let them "cry it out." It made ME way too anxious and just didn't feel right to me. (My instinct tells me if my baby cries, it's because he needs something!) Personally, I'd much rather go in the room and rub the baby's tummy for a few minutes than listen to him scream for a half hour or more. (For the record, they all still learned how to soothe themselves just fine.) ;-)
You might try using other methods to soothe her, though--try to avoid picking her up if possible so that she doesn't get used to the movement. Rub her tummy or her back, or stroke her head instead.
As someone else mentioned, you could also try soft "white noise" to help block out night-time sounds that might be waking her.
Also, does she sleep much during the day? It may help to shorten her daytime naps a little. Make sure her room is comfortably cool (not too cold, not too warm), and that it's dark enough; too much light could be throwing her "body clock" off a bit.
Speaking of light, I don't think using a night-light will help unless she is afraid of the dark; it's more likely to disturb her sleep than to soothe her at this age.
Lastly, if this seems to be a fairly recent change, she may be teething or just going through a phase. If nothing else, try to remember that this, too shall pass! :-)