16 Month Old & New Baby Due in 5 Weeks, How to Prepare?

good for you--don't ever feel guilty for giving your children love, cuddles, rocking, attention. These are NEVER bad habits no matter what anyone says--anymore than putting diapers on your baby is a bad habit. Imagine saying when it is time to potty train--I wish I had never started my baby in diapers then he would not have this bad habit of wearing diapers and it would be so much easier to potty train! Sounds silly doesn't it? Babies need lots of physical attention--in fact babies will actually die without it. But when it is time to transtion to not sleeping with Mom/Dad then you make the change. Often I hear moms say that one child does not sleep well and blames it on their co-sleeping while the next child sleeps better. All my kids are grown now and I did all the same things with them--breast fed til 2 1/2, attachment parenting, slept with me as infants and then in same room, then to own room at age 3. Yet, they all are different. Oldest and youngest never had any problems sleeping (well, oldest did until after we eliminated dairy allergens), yet middle daughter has always been a problem sleeper and is a night owl and she was not happy about her younger sister taking her place! She was 3 when sister was born so it was time to move her but if she had been younger I would have kept both in my room--it sounds like you actually have the ideal situation if he can be close but not right next to your bed. Like another mom said some white noise might help your son not wake up when baby does. My girls all have to sleep with a fan on as I used that to help them sleep when little (and now I hear that keeping the air circulating is supposed to help prevent SIDS)

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The way you do things with your little guy is NOT a bad habit. It is the right thing to do for your baby's attachment to you and his sense of comfort and security. I would leave him in the room off yours for now. The new baby's arrival will be enough of a change in routine as it is. Consider a fan or white noise maker in the 16 month old's room if you are concerned about the noise from the new baby. Although with the baby next to you in a bassinet, you will be able to respond quickly, nurse him/her, and probably not have much crying anyway. Good luck!

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Hi J.. My older son was 17 months old when my younger son was born. We had always slept with our older son, Brandon, in the bed and when Xander was born that didn't change. Now, 19 months later we are all still sleeping in the same King size bed. I was really nervous about it at first but Brandon transitioned easily to cuddling up to dad at night and wasn't bothered much by Xander's waking to nurse, etc. Something that I didn't quite realize when Xander was born was what a little baby Brandon still was. Now that Xander is 19 months old, I look at him and think of little Brandon trying to be "big brother" at this age when he was still a baby himself! If you are going to keep the baby in a bassinet in your room, it might be a good thing to leave your son in his current room until he is closer to two. They grow so much from 18 months to two. you won't believe it! Cherish them both. They are precious gifts. Best wishes!

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Hi - Congrats on your growing family! I agree with the other posts, too much transition right now with a new baby may be too much for your little guy to adjust to. I'd always give him the opportunity to sleep in his big boy room, but let him come to your room when he needs to. Just from my personal experience, whatever works best and allows for the most sleep for everyone is best. Since you are breastfeeding (that is wonderful) it will be easier to feed your infant without too much movement out of bed and less fussiness since the baby will be able to go right to breast as soon as he/she is hungry, so that shouldn't cause too much of a disturbance, hopefully. Give your little guy lots of chances to be a big helper (get diapers, etc), but don't forget he is still a little guy, use breastfeeding time to spend with him. Since the infant will be happy eating, it is a great time to read books, play games, play cars etc one on one with him. He will look forward to that time with you. Get him a snack or leave one that he can get when it is time to nurse and enjoy that time with your two little ones.

I do remember playing "musical beds" when my kids were younger - if he crawls in bed with you, and you need more room or the baby gets too fussy, you could move to his room and maybe take the bassinet with you. Just be creative and get as much sleep as you can - I think that sleep (which is hard to come by) is so important - it makes things so much easier to manage. Enjoy your little ones and best wishes!

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My son was 21 months when my daughter was born. We transitioned him to a toddler bed since she was using the crib. We didn't want it to seem like she was replacing him or getting all of his stuff, so we moved him in about 6 weeks ahead of her birth. We played with a dolly and talked about taking care of the baby.

I honestly don't think it made a difference. He was a pretty easy going kid anyway and was just really excited to have her around, then for a while he could care less, and now that she's more interactive, he LOVES it!

We also did all the "wrong" things for sleeping patterns with our first and did regret some of them (but really wouldn't give back all those cuddles for the world). We definately started our daughter off for more independence and it's been a huge difference. Now our son still can't get himself to sleep and constantly comes in to cuddle, but our daughter is self sufficient and sleeps much better - rests better as well.

good luck, and just remember advice is only advice - you're the mom! :)

I would say, leave him in the bedroom close to you as long as you have your baby in your bedroom. When he is a little older the concept of a "big boy" room might be exciting for him and he might want to move to his new room by himself. Until then, do the changes in the big boy room slowly and involve him as much as you can. Getting adjusted to a new baby in the house will probably take some time for him anyway. Getting adjusted to being further away from you (his big boy room)and (when the baby is here) a new baby and less attention from you might be a little too much for him and would just cause stress on all of you...

I would suggest leaving him where he's at for now. If you try to move him so quickly and close to the birth, he might associate it with the new baby and that could cause more tension than you'll be feeling up to dealing with. Let him get used to his new role as big brother and then try the big boy room when things have settled down. Good Luck.

It is definitely time for him to be in his own room. Many times babies wake in the night and make noises, talk, etc, but will go back to sleep if undisturbed. He may even cry a bit, but if you don't pick him up, he might just go back to sleep. You don't want him sleeping with you when he is five or older, so don't start that habit now.
Also, with the new baby coming, you are going to be worn out. You may sleep more soundly and could be more likely to roll over onto your son if he is in the bed with you. Being a parent is not easy; this is one of the easiest things you will accomplish with your kids.

Wow, that is exactly where we are right now. My daughter is 17months old and I am due on April 13th.
We are still setting up her “big girl room”, but we intend on putting her stuff and her crib in there right before the baby comes (probably a couple of weeks before the baby is due). We are keeping the rest of the nursery furniture in my daughter’s old room and borrowing a crib from my sister-in-law to replace the one our daughter will take with her to her new room.
We also figure that they baby will be in a bassinet for the first few weeks/months too.
Our house is similarly situated where the nursery is right off of our bedroom and my daughter’s new room is down the hall a little bit with a bathroom between her room and the babies.
We are going that route b/c we were told it would be the least disruptive to our daughter (her sleep, her routine etc) and it would be a good transition to being a big sister. I don’t know if it’s right or if it will work, but that’s what we’re doing.
I wish you the best of luck. I know it’s going to be very different having 2 babies, but I hear that people survive it everyday (fingers crossed).
Take care
N.

I completely understand where you are at. My children are 18 months apart and this is how we did this, though my son didn't sleep with us, his crib was still in our bedroom. We were then trying to get him out of the crib into his big bed because I only had one crib. Does he take naps during the day? (After rereading that I thought, duh he's 16 months, haha) My suggestion would be to start doing naps in his room, because its short term, I did just that for about the first week. Then we started him sleep during the night. Be prepared that if he is able to get out of bed, he will, haha! I had a childproof lock on his door so he wasn't able to get out, one of my fears was this falling down the steps or something because he got out of his room during the night and I was asleep. I read him books and tried to tuck him in as best as I could. There will be some adjusting, my son is a night owl so he would seem to be up half the night, but I did make sure I got him up every morning at the same time. At some point they will be tired and just fall asleep when you put them to bed. Some nights I would go in and he would have fallen asleep in bed, some other nights I would go in there and he was asleep in the mist of the toys he was playing with.

I also kept my babies in a bassinet right next to my bed to easy feedings/changing diapers and my concern was also that I didn't want to wake up my son, so I understand where you are coming from. My daughter was 2 weeks early so it seemed we rushed him a bit because we weren't expecting me to deliver that early. I rememeber one night shortly after my daughter and I had come home from the hospital, we put my son to bed and he couldn't get to sleep. He just seemed to be upset and wanted to cry, so I went upstairs and cuddled with him (crying a little myself), he fell asleep and in watching him sleep I fell asleep too. Woke up after a few minutes and crawled out of his bed. From then on it just kind of clicked for him and he was fine.

Hope something in all this helped. I just got home from helping at school all day so my heads still spinning, haha!

My daughter was 15 months when I had my son. I was a first time mom too, only 25, and had no clue what I was in store for! I used to have awful habits with my daughter, I'd rock or walk her to sleep for naptime and bedtime and I'd get up with her multiple times every night. When I brought home my son, those first few months were torture! It was okay for the first few weeks since he slept most of the time, but once he started being awake more it was really hard. I'd finally get her to sleep and he'd cry and wake her up, or the baby would be sleeping and SHE would wake up crying and wake him up. I was constantly having to deal with two crying babies who just woke up. So, I realized I had to do something. My problems were more sleeping habits and the first thing I did was break her of needing me to fall asleep. Once she was falling asleep for naps and bedtimes in her own room things were a lot easier, so I recommend that you put your son in his own room. With a monitor you can very easily hear him and be able to go to him without it waking up the baby. I understand you don't see anything wrong with him crawling in bed with you now, but once you have the baby, I'd put money out there that you'll change your mind. When the baby wakes up, he will wake up too. I would break this habit before the baby comes. Plus, if you let him keep getting in bed with you, you'll end up with TWO kids in your bed in a year or so.

I also would say to really stick to schedules. Once my youngest was about 6 months old, I had him on a nap schedule with my daughter. I never did anything that disrupted this schedule because you really pay for it if those kids don't get naps! I scheduled everything around naptime, and also 10 is pretty late, I liked putting my kids down at 8. They STILL go to bed at 8 and they're now 5 and 6. Make sure you are getting some time to yourself also. My husband worked 12 hour days back then and I was ALWAYS on my own. I remember taking my kids to the grocery store and having to pull one cart and push another. You know what memory I have of feeling really guilty? I went to the grocery store a few weeks after having my son, and I realized I had to make my 15 month old daughter walk in because I couldn't carry the infant carrier, plus diaper bag, plus her. It was December and there was snow on the ground, and it was the first time I realized that having them so close together really made her become a big girl fast. You'll love it in a few years though, my kids play like they're best friends everyday!

One more thing, a lot of other moms are saying he'll have an adjustment to the new baby and so don't create changes for him right now. The thing is, your son is 16 months old.....he is NOT going to even blink an eye to having a new baby around all of a sudden. My daughter looked at the baby and stuff, but it seemed like the next day she really didn't even think about the fact that the baby was there, it's like he had ALWAYS been there. Kids that age have a flawless transition to a new baby. So, get everything squared away with him now. 16 month olds have too much else to play with and get into than worry about some "boring new baby mommy brought home"

I have a 5-year-old, a 4-year-old, and an 18-month-old. My older two are 17 months apart, so I was exactly where you are about 4 1/2 years ago. :-)

We decided not to move my oldest out of the crib or her room at all before the new baby was born, and the new baby slept in a bassinet in our room. When my oldest was about 19 months old, we started to move her into a twin bed in the same room as her crib. Honestly, we had no idea what we were going to do with the new baby yet, but we had to consider our older child's needs first. We started with just naps at first, and once that was going well, she started sleeping in the twin bed at night. I'd say it took about a month to complete the transition.

Another month later (so when my oldest was 21 months old), she asked to sleep in our guest room that had a double bed in it. I jumped right on it and moved her over there that day. I pushed the bed against the wall, put the bedrail up, etc. I think because it was her idea and we acted so quickly, it went well. A couple weeks later, we moved the new baby into the crib. (Okay, actually, the new baby mostly co-slept with us from the beginning anyway, so we weren't in desperate need of freeing up the crib, but it was nice to have the option. ;-) )

One thing you might want to try that I wish we'd tried is to play some white noise in your son's room to help drown out any noise from the new baby. Start it now, and he'll already be used to it when the baby comes. My girls have a white noise machine (or they listen to a classical music radio station) when they sleep, and it definitely helps.

Just take things one day at a time, and you'll find something that works for your family. Good luck with the new baby!