15 Year Old Won't Wear Retainers - HELP!

He might not wear it because his teeth have already shifted and the retainer feels tight and uncomfortable when he puts it on. I have a night guard (same thing, dentist made it) and at first I didn't like wearing it because it was real uncomfortable and I couldn't sleep it was so tight. But my dentist told me to get use to it wear it a few hour through out the day and my teeth will start shifting. He was right. I try to remember to wear it every night now or I’ll get migraines and bad headaches from gritting my teeth at night. BUT if I miss two nights I can tell how my teeth have shifted and the guard is tight for about 30 minutes, just from missing two nights. Just a thought. He might be afraid to disappoint you. Or maybe he just doesn't want to wear it. U know your son best. Hope I helped a little. Good luck!

V. (SAHM of Two)
www.ListCrafter.com/ValerieAltman

Ask him if he plans to pay to have braces when he's in his 20s because most insurance companies don't cover it once you are no longer a "kid". I didn't wear my retainers like I was supposed to and I got to get braces again when I was 24 and wear those for a year until they straightened out again. Now I wear my retainers every night. btw, if he says the retainer is not comfortable take him and the retainers back to the orthodontist and have him take a look at them and see if maybe he can do something different?

I had the same problem with my middle daughter, she wouldn't wear her head gear. She was getting an allowance so she had to start making her orthodontist payments. I wasn't going to throw away my money so if she wouldn't play by the rules, she could pay for it all. She didn't wear her head gear, ended up paying a lot of money for it because the bill had to be paid off one way or the other and at 30 had false teeth. It was her choice, she bought it herself.

I did them same thing as a teen....and then had braces again in my early 20's because everything moved! NOT FUN! If he can't sleep with it (and that's the most discreet time to do it) then he should wear it when he is home just around mom and dad. I am only a mother of toddlers so can't offer teen advice but I imagine telling him to be the adult you know he can be and to be responsible for his own mouth. Maybe show him how important smiles and nice teeth are in the media...would he date a girl with bad teeth (superficial I know). I am 31 and still wear a retainer at night...its so much easier and cheaper than braces AGAIN!

I have a 15 year old girl with the same attitude. Tell him that if he doesnt wear it he will have to wear braces all over again or even better that he will have to wear braces in his future that you will not pay for and he can consume that price on his own. They think they know more than us!

My 14 year old son is now in a retainer and throughout his braces period we told him he had to follow the orthodontist's instructions or we would take off the braces and he could pay for everything to fix his teeth as an adult. With his retainer we joke around with him saying if it is not worn correctly we will pierce it into place or give him a nose piercing with a chain to his retainer so he doesn't lose it. This levity has worked very well with a normal teenage boy who doesn't think his parents know anything.

A.,
1st, it may already be too late. I had a retainer in my early 20's and got sick and kept sneezing my retainer out! That lasted for one week. By the time I was well and could put the retainer back in, my teeth had already shifted. 2nd, my 15 year old got his braces off a year ago and his orthodontist bonded a "permanent" retainer on the back of his teeth. You can't see it, he can eat anything he wants, and it is keeping his teeth in line. The only "downside" is it takes a little longer to floss. He can choose to go back when he is older and have it removed, but it is up to him at that point. You may want to ask your orthodontist about this alternative.

K.

Maybe the orthodontist would have some pictures of terrible shifting of teeth where teenagers didn't wear their retainers and had to return to their braces, or you could take him one extra trip to the dentist to have hin tell your son that without wearing the retainers he could have the shifting and have to go back to the dreaded braces. That might work and be worth the extra money that it would cost you in the long run. I surely hope so for it really cost money for braces. My grand daughter needs them desperately needs them right now and we cannot afford them, and we are having problems finding someone who will accept the state card or will accept the payments that we can afford.

First of all I commend you on your life. You are a very busy woman with alot of responsibility. I became 'wore-out' reading your profile.

I don't know your child and every child is different so they all have to be disciplined differently. But I would call the dentist and tell him what is going on. Let him make a time for you to bring him back in the office and maybe check his teeth and conveniently explain to him WHY it is so important to wear the retainer and the consequences if he doens't wear it. Then if that doesn't work, he is a teen that likes to go places and do things. That could all stop until he does what he is supposed to do.
Good luck. I have a 22 yr old boy plus 2 teen boys and then a precious little 21 month old little girl. Being is mother is very difficult and challenging.
Good luck!

Dear A.,

First of all, please call your dear friend and explain this situation to her. If she really is a dear friend, she'll make amends. He needs to hear her tell him she was wrong. Secondly, call the orthodontist and tell him what's going on. Ask him if they can install one that stays in there. If there is one, that's the price your son needs to pay for his refusal to wear it. If this isn't an option, charge him some money for each and every night he takes it out. After all, you paid dearly for those braces, and if he's going to reverse the great job they did, he needs to see a consequence he can understand, since his teeth becoming crooked again isn't a real consequence to him.

I'll bet losing his allowance will wake him up, especially if the orthodontist can't put a permanent one in.

Good luck - I know how tough 15 year olds are!
D.

My name is E.. I am 27 years old, and I had to have braces TWICE. The first time I was your son's age, maybe a little younger and by the time it got to my retainer, I was so tired of having stuff on my teeth, that I hardly ever wore it. I actually kept it in my pocket most of the time and it ending up breaking. My mom was very upset and I tried to re-assure her that although my teeth weren't perfect, they were better than they had been and I was satisfied.

My teeth DID shift. And not just a little!

In December 2004, my boyfriend asked me to marry him. I said yes and started making plans for my hair and my dress and my make-up and planning to be a beautiful bride. But when I looked in the mirror I realized I didn't want to have my wedding pictures taken with a huge gap in my teeth. I immediately went to an orthodontist (which isn't covered by insurance for adults) and went through a very expensive, painful experience in order to get my teeth straight in 8 months for my wedding.

My mother spent 2500 dollars on my teeth.
My teeth DID shift, it was NOT attractive.
10 years later I spent 3500 dollars on my teeth.
My mother now feels like the money and effort she put into my teeth was a waste.
You wouldn't know to look at it that I have a $6,000 smile. It's straight and pretty, but it doesn't look like it should have taken that much of an effort.

Like so many things when we are teenagers, retainers don't seem that important until its too late to take it back.

Please pass my message on to your son, and if he would like to email me or share ortho gripes, I will be glad to. Anytime.

Good luck!

I wouldn't wear mine as a teenager either and my bottom teeth shifted a little. I really wish I'd worn them more consistently. Now, of course, they don't fit. He can tell if his teeth are moving because his retainer will become more and more uncomfortable. I'm not sure how you get him to do it as I've got 5 more years before I have a teenager and taking away stuff still works with them now.

I do not know if this will help, because teenagers do not think about the future like adults do. Anyway, I have a 33 year old friend who wore braces as a teenager and did not wear her retainer like she was supposed to. Well, she had to get braces again as a 31 year old and she wore them for two years. She did not enjoy the experience but her teeth had moved back because she never wore her retainers. This time she had to pay for the braces instead of her parents. As a result, she took much better care of them the second time. She now wears her retainer religiously. You might tell your son this story so that someday he will not have to get braces again as an adult.

I have a friend that had a BEAUTIFUL HOLLYWOOD SMILE right after her braces were taken off; and after refusing to wear the night retainer, her bottom teeth look so GNARLY now. They seriously look MUCH WORSE than they did before she got braces... tell him you heard it from many mom friends online: this is a crossroad for him, if he decides to be uncomfortable now, he'll be grateful later. BUT, if he chooses to not wear the retainer, he'll have gangly teeth in no time and be embarassed to smile at all the pretty girls. good luck; teens and toddlers, what a rollercoaster :)

A., I am am a dental assistant who has worn braces three times in my life. The second because of not doing what I was told the first and two time for jaw surgeries. I have also worked in an ortho office and found that kids will do what they want. I would remove the rubber bands from thier mouths and show them the thick caked up plaque that is still there dispite the fact that they brushed two minutes before sitting in my chair. I thought for sure once they see how disgusting the plaque was they would surely change especialy being teens who are interested in the opposite sex but nope. Nothing seems to get through. My best advice is to go back to the orthodontist and have him bond what is called a lingual wire to the inside of his upper and lower front teeth. This will atleast keep them from moving. I have one and it is no big deal. Perhaps explain to your son how much money it took to get this tx. for him. Point out on a calender exacly how much you had to do in terms of going to work to save the money for braces. Make sure he understands just what $5000 is. Make him count out 5000 pieces of paper like dollars. If he gets an allowance maybe you can deduct from it each night he goes without his retainer to pay you back for the treatment. You may have to hit him where it hurts. Ask-Would you prefer we ignore your teeth and allow them to come in visibly crooked by the time you got into high school. At this point all his friends would have nice straight teeth. Unfortunitly society make judgements about people based on what their teeth look like.
Good luck,
Val

Hi A.!
This is a toughie. He doesn't see the "big" picture. His teeth will move, especially the top ones. Every time he bites into something, an apple, corn on the cob, etc., his front teeth move. I had braces as an adult and I DID wear my retainers until they started to wear out (the plastic gets rough on the edges and scatches your mouth). I wish I had gotten a second set of retainers, my teeth have moved. As an adult, not so much, but as a teenager, that's years of moving and he will need braces again as an adult to fix his teeth - again! I will give him this much, they can be hard to sleep in - your mouth doesn't close as firmly as without them and you can get dry mouth. He'll get the same effect if he wears them when he gets home from school, after dinner until bedtime, etc. I know you think about the money you spent and how nice his teeth finally look. Kids don't think about that. Tell him girls don't like messed up teeth - which is very true. I had/still have a thing about teeth and would not date someone with bad teeth. A little picky, but.... Hope this helps...L.

You could always show him a picture of my daughter's mouth. She, too, thought she shouldn't have to wear her retainer. Her bottom teeth have shifted a good bit. She is now 39 years old, smarter, wiser, and wishes she had used her retainer. It happens to EVERYONE who does not use it. Ask the orthodontist to have a chat with him and I bet HE has pictures. He will also be more likely to have more cavities. Suggestions? Have him start a dental fund to pay you back for the cost of all that orthodontic work he is throwing away LOL.

Don't know if it would help anything since he believes he knows best...but you could tell him that he will really regret not wearing that retainer when one day he tries to put it in and it doesn't fit. I wore braces for almost 2 years and then didn't wear my retainer consistently (I was 14 or so) the worst feeling in the world was the day I tried to wear my retainer and couldn't get it in because my teeth had moved. My mother STILL likes to tell me about how I wasted thousands of dollars they spent on braces because I wouldn't wear my retainer... and if he thinks wearing one NOW is uncomfortable, try wearing a retainer that doesn't fit right because your teeth have MOVED..that's really uncomfortable!

The other thing to consider is a permanate retainer. I had one for a while. It's a brace that attaches to the back of the teeth (you can't see it in a smile). I'm not sure how much it costs, but it might be a way to get the teeth set before he is without anything.

There are permanent retainers that be put in if he continues to refuse. Mention that to him as a next step and see if that has any impact. Also, have the orthodontist talk to him if you haven't already. It may make more of a difference coming from a professional.

Does your son like money? Since you paid A LOT for the braces and he is not being compliant, he should have to repay you. Maybe you could charge a certain amount per night that he does not wear the retainer. Or you could make him do jobs to earn the money to pay you back. I am an example of one who did not wear my appliance correctly (never had full braces) and as an adult I deeply regret it!!Yes, your teeth will shift.

I would either do an incentive of $1 per night that he wears it, putting into a fund towards a car....OR, I would go the opposite route and say, "if you don't want to obey us after all the money we spent, then we are not going to help you." Then I would take away whatever he likes, Fri nights out, you driving him somewhere, etc I would get it loud and clear that he is to do what he was told to do, or, you could take the money that you paid for the braces out of whatever money he has saved. I would not take this kindly as expensive as they are. He is not 18, he should be listening to you and obeying you. Check on him at ight to make sure he has them in. If you are not strong enough to be so strict, try the first route. Offer him an incentive that he would like for every night he wears it. Take him back to the ortho and have the ortho explain the consequences and disregard what that women said to him. Good luck,

It really is important to wear them. I wore mine faithfully until the orthodontist said I didn't have to any more. And guess what? Within 6 months of discontinuing them I couldn't even fit them in anymore because my teeth had shifted so much! Now as an adult I have some crooked teeth. All those years of painful orthodontia without a perfect result....

after i had my braces off years ago, i got permanent retainers. they go on the back side of the teeth and no one can see them at all. they are not uncomfortable, and i have had mine in for 12 years now and have had no shifting in my mouth. take him back to the orthodontist, and have them do some sort of permanent retainer that he can not take in and out.

I'm really not sure if I have advice only to say that when I was a teenager I had braces. And of course did not wear my retainer like I should have when I got them taken off. Sadly my teeth are crooked again since I didnt wear it like I should. Tell him if he does not want to wear his retainer than he'll have to pay for whatever work he'd need to straigthen them back out again maybe? Good luck!!

has he worn them at all??? i didnt wear mine but a few hours a day i also had trouble sleeping with them in so i would come home from school and put them in until i went to bed... no that wasnt the full 9 hours but it was better than nothing! so you might want to try that i will say that my teeth were fine with doing this (i had my braces 5 almost 6 years) but i also had a friend in my class who didnt wear his retainers and had to go back to braces... he was not too happy being 18 and dating with braces!! good luck!

Request a permanent lower retainer. (I can't believe they didn't do this in the first place!) It is completly hidden (behind the teeth, and he wont even notice it) and that is all he will need to keep his upper and lower teeth straight!

All I can say is that I wasted thousands of dollars and 4 years in braces by not wearing my retainer. I can't believe my mom didn't strangle me. :) I am now 36 and faced with having to wear them again. YUCK! Tell him that he will have to wear them again if he doesn't wear his retainer.
I would ask your orthodontist if they can put in a permanent retainer. My friend just got her braces off and they put a permanent one on her. It is a wire that runs behind the teeth so it is not seen.
Good luck!

We had permanent retainers put on the back of my daughters teeth. It is a little metal bar that they glue on the back. Is this a possibility for your son?

A.,
The teenager is harder to talk to than the toddler! I don't know why that is, but that's just how it goes. You can always remind him (if you haven't already) that the orthodontist has had many years of education and knows how teeth work. If he makes a recommendation, you should follow it. I had braces as a teenager, and I didn't wear my retainer either. Guess what? The ortho was right! The straightened teeth did eventually turn back to almost their original positions!! He'll thank you when he's older. Kids rebel but we still need to be the adults. If he truly refuses to wear them, you need to tell him to repay your investment, to include gas money and time away from work. What wakes them up is realizing how hard they must work and for how long and they'll change their tune! My godson didn't realize how expensive it would be to have a new car+gas+insurance. He is now okay with getting a used vehicle that doesn't guzzle gas. Reality checks are great when teens want to be adults and make their own decisions!