14 answers

15 Year Old Having Sex

My cousin has a 15 year old stepsister who has been living with my cousin's mother since the age of 8 or 9. The stepsister's mother had her at the age of 15. The stepsister has been having sex for about a year now, and she asked my cousin to take her to the clinic to get birth control pills. My cousin told her she would, but only if tells her mother. The stepsister doesn't want to tell her mother because she is afraid she will take the pills away. My cousin asked me what she should do. I think she should get her the pills and go with her sister to tell their mother together. Do you think that is a good thing for her to do?

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So What Happened?™

Oh my goodness! Thank you ladies so much for your helpful responses. I talked to my cousin about this and she is taking her sister to the clinic today. She said that she will have a sit down with her mother when they get back home. One good point that some of you mentioned was about STD's. I told my cousin to make sure she talks about that too. I myself didn't get pregnant at an early age, but I developed an STD at an early age and it changed my life. Thank you again. I'm starting to like this website!

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I think that what you adviced is a good idea but the 15 year old also needs to know that there are more consequences of sex then just getting pregnant. If she does have sex a condom should be worn at all times.

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As bad as it is your not going to stop the sex...so I think she should go with her and keep encouraging her to talk to her mother...it beats another teen mom!!!

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My 16 year old niece just had a baby. Do I think you need to interveen? ABSOLUTELY. Her health and future are at risk.

Whether it is birth control pills or trying to convince her to abstain from sex.... you must find a way to interveen. Hopefully both she and her mother will be receptive. Keep in mind, if she is engaging in sex with out BCP, she is probably also not using condoms which opens the door for all kinds of STDs and residual health problems. It is not uncommon for children of young mothers to also start having sex at an early age. If you are in the Atlanta area, there is a program founded by Jane Fonda called the Georgia Campaign for Adolscent Pregnancy Prevention (wwww.gcapp.org). They have some very helpful programs.....check it out.

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Yes your a perfect example. You could just let her know that you are living proof that mistakes happen, and she could possibly get an STD. I started having sex when I was 15 to a guy I dated for 2 years and became pretty damn permisquis (spelling?) after he and I had broke up. I was always scared to death of STD's so I used prtoection every time and luckilly never contracted one. And sometimes protections isnt enough, there are some STD's that condoms cant prevent. One of my best friends contracted an STD from her husband that he had gotten YEARS ago and didnt even know about, and like you said, their lives are now changed foever.

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Hi J., I would definitely tell her mother together. That way she has support. Reminder that Birth Control is a hell (pardon the language) of a lot cheaper than a baby. She is having sex and there is nothing to do to stop her so birth control really is the answer. I was not on Birth Control and having sex at 16. I wish I had someone help me!!!

I hope this helps

K. S
www.kristies.fourpointmoms.com

1 mom found this helpful

I think that what you adviced is a good idea but the 15 year old also needs to know that there are more consequences of sex then just getting pregnant. If she does have sex a condom should be worn at all times.

1 mom found this helpful

Yes, she definitely needs to be on BC pills. I can't imagine her mother would take them away unless she wants her daughter to be a mom in the future. I wish everyone understood how important it is to talk to your kids and make them feel comfortable about sex and BC methods :(

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The 15 year old needs to have the pills!!!! Put it to them this way, does she want to tell about pills or a baby on the way? None the less she is only 15, but atleast she has the common sense to take some extra precautions....please let me know how this turns out, i'm very interested to know how this turns out!!!

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I think your idea about them going together to tell her mother is a good one. Also I would seriously consider advising that the girl receive some counceling. This behavior could be a cry for help.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi J., My opinion is you are right on the money about what she should do. One, she is going to have sex regardless. Two, with the pills at least she is not (or less likely) getting pregnant. Three, going to the mother, if the mother takes away the pills then shame on her. This girl should know that sex is not a play toy at the age of 15. It is a commitment to something or someone you may or may not want to be committed to. I sure hope the clinic talks to her if no one else. Hope she listens! A. www.busymomsworkathome.com

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I get so discouraged sometimes when I hear about young women having sex so early. Most of them just don't understand yet. I would rather my child be on birth control opposed to having a baby, but I must ask...Where how does a 15 year old find time to have sex? Where are the parents? Please explain the risk to her, you can live with a child, but with the growing rate of HIV among women, I am almost too scared to have sex myself. Make sure to tell her a night of pleasure isn't worth a lifetime of pain!

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I think that someone should help her get on birth conrtol. If your cousin wants to do it then good for her. But i do think the mom should know. If your cousin wants to help her tell mom that's great too but she needs to tell her. I was in her shoes once and unfortunatly I didn't tell my mom b/c i was scared and I got pregnant at 15 and had my 1st son when i was 16. Looking back I really wish i'd had the courage to talk to her b/c i know it wouldn't have been as bad as I thought. Good luck I hope it all goes well:)

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I would also tell the young girl if she feels she is grown up enough to have sex than she is grown up enough to tell her mother and take responsiblility for her actions.

1 mom found this helpful

Im 29, I had my daughter at 16 and you should definitly tell her the things that could go wrong without the the protection! Iv'e went to college and graduated high school and college and it was a hard 7 years with a baby. Now, at least the majority of us has had sex when we were teenagers, but you should let her know what would happen and what to do. You should sit down and talk to her about it.

hi. i'm in montezuma and i think that she should be allowed to have the pills (better safe than sorry right?? It's not that giving her the pills is saying that it's okay to have sex it's just that if she is doing it.....then she needs to be protected not only from pregnancy but she also needs condoms . someone needs to explain all this to her if she doesn't already know....good luck..

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