S.H. asks from Richmond, VA on July 31, 2008
15 Month Old Might Be Teething, but Is MEAN!
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. My 15 month old boy has recently become so difficult, stubborn and mean. I think his molars are coming in, but i'm not sure. He throws things, constantly whines, smacks me, my husband and the dogs. he's been waking up at 4:30 every morning for the past week and hollering non-stop. he throws his food and won't ever sit still...he's typically very happy and playful. i just don't understand the sudden shift in behavior/mood swings. it's as if nothing will make him happy! is this just the age? should i be concerned?
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J.P. answers from Washington DC on August 01, 2008
Hi S.
My name is J.. I have a 16 month old that acts the same way. I noticed a few months ago is when it started. My son also bites. It seems to me that whenever I say stop or no he only does it more. From everything I have read and heard from other moms is that it is the age and them testing us. My little man is very independent but that is also normal for his age. I hope that helps a little to at least know my son is the same way.
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L.M. answers from Washington DC on August 01, 2008
S.,
this is common teething behavior. When some teeth emerge it presses on the tissues and that can be irritating.
Homeopathic teething remedies can be wonderful for this. Available at your local health food store, and easy to give. The common single remedy for teething is cammomilia.
It does calm and make the child more chilled out.
There are also flower remedies that would help with the emotional component. Please feel free to contact me if you want more info.
L.
E.D. answers from Richmond on August 01, 2008
Hi S.,
My son is almost 22 months and he does this sometimes. For him though, it means that he needs some extra attention and he's not getting it from me. Do you have a special time that is just you and him where you go do something fun or sit and read a book or just cuddle watching his favorite movie? My daughter is 4 and autistic and this works for her too. Also, the encouraging good behavior mentioned in one of the other posts is a really good idea. It works. I'd also suggest that when dropping him off at daycare be sure you have plenty of time and give him that extra hug or encouragement before you go to work. The ideas for discouraging bad behavior in another post are also very good. I use those with both my kids. They work. I know this may sound harsh, but I also encourage spanking when it is necessary. I try to use that as a last resort though because other things do work to get a child's attention. Whatever works for you, be consistent. God Bless.
A.S. answers from Washington DC on August 01, 2008
My 15 month old is going through the exact same thing!! Activities he loves, like going to the Little Gym for class, he throws fits about, and everything has become a challenge. I hope people give you good advice because I can't wait to read it too!!
L.C. answers from Washington DC on August 01, 2008
First you need to find out if there is anything medically wrong. Second, you need to find out what is happening at daycare. Has there been a staffing change? Is another child behaving badly? Has he picked up some nasty habits??
Next you need to stop the bad behavior.
He's a little young for time out but you could try it. He will definitely understand if you take his toys away. If he throws, take the toy and put it up - do not give it back until after nap or the next morning or something. If he hits you, put him in his crib or in the naughty chair and walk away. Leave him there for a min or so and when you go back, tell him that hitting is not nice and ask him to say he is sorry. If he throws food, take it away and put him down from the table - because if he throws food he is obviously done eating. Skip the snacks - you want him to remember that throwing food is bad. He won't starve.
Concentrate on good behavior. If he sits for 2 min. and eats, tell him he is a good eater how proud you are that he is sitting nicely in his chair. Basically catch him being good. If you see him sharing with a friend, tell him that you like what you see.
YMMV
LBC
M.R. answers from Roanoke on August 03, 2008
Don't try to 'make him happy'... set limits, and be gentle, yet firm. Stay consistent and if it's teething (15 months is prime time for molars), this too shall pass.
If he's throwing food, I'd say he was finished with his meal, reminding him that we don't throw food, and immediately take him somewhere he CAN throw something (ball in yard, bath toy in bathtub, ball in playroom, etc)
If he is hitting, get down on his level, hold his hands by his side, and tell him hands are for hugging, not hitting. A simple 'Hitting Hurts" is really all that is needed at that moment.... simple, direct, firm, but not yelling/screaming. Encourage an apology by helping him say sorry, say it for him, or just mention that we say sorry, then redirect. If it continues, remove him/leave the situation (leave the room, or playdate, etc)
Should you be concerned? Yes... you should be concerned enough (as it seems you are) to reach out and ask how best to handle things, find out what other people do in these situations, and evaluate how you want to handle things as a family. Write down a list of rules for you and your husband to follow, as to how you will handle certain situations.
Read Some books. I'll be glad to offer some suggestions on books for you, or specific scenerios you have. Email me any time.
You're doing a great job.
(they rarely sit still by the way!! haha)
(oh and someone mentioned milk... that is a good thing to try. Other major behavioral food culprits are artificial preservatives and colors.... try using whole foods as much as possible)
Good luck!
J.G. answers from Washington DC on August 01, 2008
Hi S.,
I saw on another post the possiblity that a milk allergy could cause aggressive behavior and sleep problems. It sparked enough interest in me to do some internet research and read couple of mom blogs about the improvement in their child's behavior after they took them off milk. I haven't done it for my own yet but am considering it. I googled symptoms of milk allergies and behavioral symptoms of milk allergy.
Good luck.
J.
B.H. answers from Norfolk on July 31, 2008
Hi there!
Really it could be molars, but I'd take him to his pediatrician and check for anything like an ear infection. Tell your ped about his erratic behavior and how out of character it is for your son, and he'll check for anything you might be missing. He'll also check to see if his molars are coming in!
Good luck! I hate it when my little one throws me a curve ball like that!!
J.S. answers from Washington DC on August 05, 2008
Hi you're are not the only one that goes through this! Have there been any big changes lately like a move, new baby, recent trip or change in daycare? Is he in daycare? Have you started to implement time out in your hom yet. I know it may seem cruel at this age but it's effective for 1 minute sitting on the floor. If he gets up you sit him back down and start the time over. Your baby might be teething but it's not a reason for the sudden change in behavior. He may be getting this from some one else as well. Children his age tend to do as he sees! So if at daycare he sees another child hitting, whining or screaming he is going to repeat because he sees it as an attention getter. Also regarding the food....You always have the option of feeding him not him feeding the floor. I know it's taking a step back but you need to get eye to eye with him to get his attention, stay calm in talking to him and tell him no. If he continues you put him in time out. It works at least it has so far. My little boy was a biter and only me! You can imagine how that went...until one day I couldn't handle it anymore and I got eye to eye with him and told him in a calm but firm voice no...he did it again and he was in time out and several of his toys were is time out which hurt him alot (more so his pride!) and he did his tiem and now when he goes to bite he stops to think first but it's very few and far between! Hope this info helps sorry if it doesn't!
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