T.T. asks from Chicago, IL on November 10, 2008
14Month Old Won't Sleep Through the Night
My sister has a 14month old son that won't sleep through the night (he has never slept all the way through the night). They live in a 2 bedroom apartment, and she has a 15year old daughter from a previous marriage. Since the daughter has her own room, the son sleeps in the bedroom with the parents practically within arms-length of the bed. I wondered if anyone else has been in or knows of someone in this situation and can help with any suggestions. He wakes up one to two times during the night. They have tried just letting him cry, but she says that most of the time he just keeps crying until he's having a major fit or it just makes him become wide awake. They have to pick him up and rock him back to sleep. She is also still nursing him at least once a day (sometimes at night to get him back to sleep). Thanks!
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A.H. answers from Chicago on November 11, 2008
Greetings T. T I think they should try moving the baby farther away from their sleeping area possibly share a room with his sister. He has become dependent to mom and now knows how to control them. He recognizes he has a routine and his parents (mom) will give in and give him what he wants.
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E.B. answers from Chicago on November 11, 2008
Tell your sister to bring him into her bed and nurse him whenever he wants. This will help him feel cared for, loved and comforted. This is really what everyone wants isn't it?
G.H. answers from Chicago on November 11, 2008
I have friends that had a very small cape code home and used the upstairs closet as the crib/dresser room for their 3rd child. the 2 girls shared the bedroom that closet was in. They survived the tiny home for about 6 years and did just fine. Sometimes we have to think a little out of the box I guess.
C.S. answers from Chicago on November 10, 2008
My 2 year old doesn't sleep "through the night" either. My older daughter didn't until she was 2 1/2.
I don't believe in letting them cry. I don't think letting anyone cry is a gentle method or a way to create a loving relationship.
This too shall pass. I think rocking and nursing him to sleep while he is still needing this is the right way to go.
Gentle parenting doesn't end at bed time
D.P. answers from Chicago on November 10, 2008
how long is nap time during the day? i.ve found that when they nap only once during the day say around 11, 12 or 1 no later than 1pm for 1-2 hours only. their tired by the end of the day. and i'm not one to tell mommy to stop breast feeding but it sounds like to me he's now in the habbit of having something in his mouth at bedtime,and being rocked to sleep. try a bottle for now then you must ignore them because they do know that eventually your going to come get them. also try putting them to bed maybe 30 mins before eveyone else after a warm bath, that way the crying dosen't disturb anyone.they eventually stop when they see "no ones going to come a runnin". also because they share a room , all the baby needs to see is somebody move just alittle bit when theyre crying and then they really get loud (smart little buggers, smile)its really something when you have to play like youre sleep through the screaming. but it does work.
H.C. answers from Chicago on November 11, 2008
My son didn't start sleeping through the night until around 18 months, and at 14 months he still needed one bottle in the middle of the night. Maybe have her try a bottle instead just to make it easier for her or her husband. Mine would not go back to sleep unless we fed him, and then he'd go to sleep fine. In a few months he grew out of it.
They could also switch off, with one wearing earplugs while the other is "on call."
A.M. answers from Chicago on November 11, 2008
This is pretty common with children when they are in the same room. the only solution that reliably works is to let him cry until he falls asleep. Initially this can take quite a long time but after a few days, it normally resolves. I amn't a huge fan of cry it out in general but for a few days so as to develop good sleep, it is often the only solution and will in the long run be good for him too as he will have more healthy and restful sleep. Breast feeding is great. It is really the training to fall to sleep himself that without feeding or a parent that still needs a little learning.
R.S. answers from Chicago on November 11, 2008
It's not clear what your sister wants. Our goal for our children has been to create a positive, loving nighttime experience. I rock, snuggle and nurse as needed so that my children feel safe and know that if they wake up, I'm available. It is a lot of work. I appreciated my parents being available at night when I was a child (night was scary) and hope mine do too.
It has been common wisdom to let children cry themselves to sleep. However, have you seen the stats on how many american adults have sleep issues? Perhaps there's a correlation.
C.T. answers from Chicago on November 11, 2008
From a medical point of view, sleep apnea is one thing you may want to ask the pediatrician about.
C. T.
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