38 answers

14 Y/o Serving the Wine - Your Opinions

Hi Moms

Just curious what your opinion is about this...

My sister and I were having dinner at her house. It was just myself, her, and our kids.

After dinner we were sitting on the couch and I was looking at some of their family vacation pictures when my 14 y/o neice (just turned 14) is standing in front of me handing me a glass of wine. I looked at her and then as she is handing my sister a glass of wine I asked "Did you ask her to get us some wine?" My sister said yes that she figured while the kids played upstairs we would have a chance to talk on the couch. I jokingly made a comment about her daughter serving us and she giggled and told me that she serves her wine all the time and has her "trained well". The kids all went upstairs at this point.

O.K. is it just me.... why is it that I am just flabergasted at the fact her teen daughter served us the alcohol and serves my sister alcohol often.

I didn't say anything of course but the thought of my 13 y/o serving me my wine is beyond me!

Am I just weird??? LOL!

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Wow I can't believe the number of responses I rec'd in such a short time! I'm new to this site and I'm rather impressed by the number of you that took the time to respond to my question. I'm glad I asked this question in that it helped me see this in a different light so THANKS A MILLION ladies!

Michelle Y I think you got it right that it was just strange seeing it for the first time!! I'm trying to visualize my 13 y/o daughter bringing me my wine and I just can't see it! HAHA! My daughter pours and brings me lots of non-alcoholic drinks like milk or OJ but for me that's about it. I'm certainly not judging my sister at all and if she's o.k. with it, then that's all that matters 8-)

Featured Answers

I really don't see anything wrong with it. Actually, I think it is good. If alcohol it complete taboo, then the kiddos are going to be more likely to want to drink it. Don't misunderstand, I'm not suggesting that a 14 year old should be drinking the wine...but I don't see anything wrong with kids being around alcohol. Assuming it is being consumed responsibly by the adults ;-)

8 moms found this helpful

I cannot see anything wrong or odd about the 14 year old bringing you a glass of wine. She wasn't drinking it -she just brought it to you. A helpful 14 year old is a wonderful thing! I hope my kids will bring me glasses of wine when they're 14!

7 moms found this helpful

I probably wouldn't care either way. 14 is a teenager, and by 17 I sometimes had a wine cooler with my mom or a small glass of wine (with permission and supervision--I never drank illegally). I personally would not be likely to "tempt" my kids by having them in such close contact with alcohol quite that young, but I always made my mom coffee, refilled her mug, and fetched her Coke in the evenings. So, I probably wouldn't do it, but serving wine would not be that big of a deal to me. Mixing a martini on the other hand...not so much. :)

5 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Funny story, when our child was 12, we were out on the lake in the boat. We had anchored. My husband and I were sitting at the back of the boat and our husband asked our daughter to bring us a beer. She said "No, I cannot do that, it is against the law!" "I could be charged as a 'Minor in Possession!' "

We asked "who told you that?" She said "I learned it in Health sciences this year (6th grade)".

We laughed and told her since we were on our own property and she was not going to drink it, it would be fine..

That is the day one of her nicknames became "Grandma".. She is the most rules loving person you will ever know.. She still calls us "drunkards" under her breath when we have a cocktail. We always answer.. "We heard that Grandma!"

10 moms found this helpful

I really don't see anything wrong with it. Actually, I think it is good. If alcohol it complete taboo, then the kiddos are going to be more likely to want to drink it. Don't misunderstand, I'm not suggesting that a 14 year old should be drinking the wine...but I don't see anything wrong with kids being around alcohol. Assuming it is being consumed responsibly by the adults ;-)

8 moms found this helpful

Hmmm...I have my oldest fetch me a beer when I am basking and reading on the patio and simply too lazy to get up. He thinks it's a hoot to use the talking Twins bottle opener.

I remember my dad letting us pour his beer AND letting us slurp the foam head. No harm done I guess.

Maybe a 14 yo just thinks it is fun to play at hostess. She probably doesn't have a conflicted attitude about alcohol because she is too young. She probably thinks it is no different than serving a tray of cheese and cracekrs. She probably thinks it is no different than any other chore her mom assigns her (clean your room, do your homework, etc.).

8 moms found this helpful

As others have said... I don't think you're weird either. However, one thing that moving around has taught me is that people really treat alcohol in the home very differently.

I used to pour my dad's beer for him (he had one beer after work on fridays for as long as I can remember). It was something he looked forward to, and I remember how special I felt getting to participate in that ritual. On the rare occasion he had a friend over, I'd pour 2, one for him and his friend. My mum drank wine, again, once or twice a week. She always poured for herself. But it was so that she could taste it to see if she needed to open a new bottle (since my parents rarely drank, even pumped wine would often turn).

My closest friend in late elementary had wine lovers for parents (they'd take us on weekend napa tours, had a cellar I'm envious of today, that's worth more than my *house*). They taught *both* of us the proper way to open, decant, pour, warm, chill, and how to look for subtleties in the aromas. I've always been grateful for that education. I have friends who will take a hundred dollar bottle and just dump it into a cup and knock it back the same way a college student would with 3 buck chuck. Makes me shudder.

My girlfriend in the UK, her 15yo daughter will pop her head out around the corner and ask her mum if she can have a glass of red? And did we want one if she opened a new bottle?

In Japan, in the north in the winter, I remember warm cloudy sake in the evening very fondly. I was 11ish.

In all of these cases, none of the people involved were alcoholics, nor did their children ever develop into them. Of course I knew people who abused alcohol, and their children... but most of the people that I knew had a casual relationship with alcohol, and they went about teaching their children about it as they saw fit. Actually most of the alcoholics I knew would FREAK out if their children got near "their" alcohol, and unless they were too drunk to notice, kept it under lock and key. Some didn't give a rip, and the house was full of empty bottles and shouts to their kids to bring them another ______. But the majority of people that I know, just had a normal relationship with it. Interestingly enough... I'm friends with quite a few recovering alcoholics as an adult. It's interesting to *me* because the stories they tell around alcohol in their childhood are the same as "normies" tell. It's not the experience that makes the alcoholic, it's the alcoholic that makes the experience.

<laughing> When my son (the comedian) was 5 his best friend's dad turned 40. We have a fairly large circle of friends that gets together on a weekly basis for bbq'ing, swimming, etc in the summer, or about once a month in the winter. There was a keg at this party, which my son was very enamored of, possibly because it was the first time he'd seen one (he's only seen one twice now). He loved the pump. He loved the nozzle on a hose. And with a giant grin, whenever he could he'd go racing over to the keg to "beat" someone there so he could pump and pour for them. My mum called and he was talking with her. Asked what he was doing his response was "Oh.... manning the keg... you know, the usual." She told me later she almost fell off of her chair laughing. My dad actually got a little "What? What?", and my mum explained he was *manning* it, not drinking it, but was feeling very grown up being allowed to help, so was trying to show off. Like when R. would put your mug in the freezer before you came home so it would be all frosty for you, and then bring it into the living room. He's just feeling his oats.

7 moms found this helpful

I cannot see anything wrong or odd about the 14 year old bringing you a glass of wine. She wasn't drinking it -she just brought it to you. A helpful 14 year old is a wonderful thing! I hope my kids will bring me glasses of wine when they're 14!

7 moms found this helpful

I don't think you're weird, but I also don't think there was anything wrong with your neice bringing you and your sister a glass of wine. If she poured herself a glass of wine and sat down to drink it with you, that would be a different thing.

I think it might be that you are thinking of it as her "serving" you alcohol, like she's working in a bar or something. She brings her mom a glass of wine. It's a beverage. I don't think it's all that terrible. If you don't feel it's appropriate, then obviously you won't have your own kids do that.
What's comfortable is up to each different parent.

All things aside, I hope you had a lovely visit with your sister.

Best wishes.

6 moms found this helpful

I don't know about being weird, but I don't see what the issue is. It is a sign of caring to wait on others. Children should be taught how to be a caring hostess, and that might mean offering a drink, serving food, clearing dishes, walking a guest to the door/car, etc. We do these things. Why shouldn't they. And what difference does it make what it is? My kids, and lots of other people's kids that I know, have gotten sodas or beers out of the fridge, poured juice or wine for guests, refilled chip bowls, etc. So, I don't see what the big deal is. Drinking is not illegal. Unless you're hiding the fact that you're drinking, what's the problem? I mean it's not like they're rolling you a joint or something LOL

6 moms found this helpful

I probably wouldn't care either way. 14 is a teenager, and by 17 I sometimes had a wine cooler with my mom or a small glass of wine (with permission and supervision--I never drank illegally). I personally would not be likely to "tempt" my kids by having them in such close contact with alcohol quite that young, but I always made my mom coffee, refilled her mug, and fetched her Coke in the evenings. So, I probably wouldn't do it, but serving wine would not be that big of a deal to me. Mixing a martini on the other hand...not so much. :)

5 moms found this helpful

1 / 3
Required Fields

Our records show that we already have a Mamapedia or Mamasource account created for you under the email address you entered.

Please enter your Mamapedia or Mamasource password to continue signing in.

Required Fields

, you’re almost done...

Since this is the first time you are logging in to Mamapedia with Facebook Connect, please provide the following information so you can participate in the Mamapedia community.

As a member, you’ll receive optional email newsletters and community updates sent to you from Mamapedia, and your email address will never be shared with third parties.

By clicking "Continue to Mamapedia", I agree to the Mamapedia Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy.