14 Month Old Who Screams

Hi B.,

I too have a 14 month old that screeches very loudly. I have been trying to reduce her frequency of it by not letting her get what she wants when she does it. Kids do what works for them, so he is getting what he wants when he screams. When my daughter screeches for something, I say "No, you have to ask nicely" when she says her garble in a normal tone of voice then I give her what she wants. They really do understand a lot, even at that age when they can't verbalize very well. I have already seen a reduction in her screeching, but still working on it. It will take a while. This is much easier to do at home (I understand that it is embarrassing in public) It may get worse before it gets better, but believe me, it is worth the work now before he continues it as he gets older. Hang in there!

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Sounds like he has a great voice. My suggestion would be teach him to sing. Sing Childrens songs or put on an ipod and when he starts to scream let him listen to the ipod. Kids like that sort of stuff.

I am going through and have been going through a similar situation. My husband reacts to it so I think that is why my son does it. Just think any attention good or bad is better than no attention. I think for the most part you will have to ignore it if he is doing for attention or something he wants. I don't think your son is old enough to communicate any other way to tell you he wants you or something else. You may just have to ride it out. Good luck!!

Hi B.,

What works for us: Whisper to him. He will have to be quiet to hear what you are saying. You can make it special secret stuff you whisper to him so it's suddenly important that he's quiet.

You can also show him that when he stops screaming, that means he is being quiet. If this little game works, then you can show him "ooh! loud!" in a loud voice, and "so quiet!" in a tiny whisper. You may find he likes to do one or both, but then once he's learned the difference you can show him that loud is only for certain times/places, quiet for certain times/places, etc. HTH!

My son is 17 months old and has the same scream. We read and have read Good Night Moon to him every night for awhile and he participates by finding the mouse (who he calls Mimi) on every colored page. When we get to the old woman, I stop and ask him what the old woman says. He puts his finger to his mouth and says, "Shhhhhh." Later, when he gets to screaming for entertainment or attention, I ask him, "What does the old woman say?" Most of the time, he will then put his finger to his mouth and say, "Shhhh." We then all do it too and make a game of it. I think he likes it because we are all giving him attention for being quiet and saying, "Shhhh," along with him. It does not work all the time, but it is one of the tools I try. I know it is hard to go places with that shriek. Hope this helps and hang in there. :-)

Jo Frost the supernanny talked about this same issue with a mom on "The View." If you go to abc.com and click on the view they have video clips. Just select the supernanny clip (I believe from 5/6) and it's either part 4 or 5. The jist of her comment to the other parent was that her child is wanting to talk so badly. The mother always reacted negatively each time the child did it so instead she said to smile and engage him in conversation when he starts. Something to that effect. Check out the clips if you have time.

I agree that communication is the answer. At such a young age, they haven't figured out how to express themsleves in the right way just yet and use the screaming as a means to get you to pay attention and hopefully get what they don't know how to request properly. Hang in there! We don't go out to eat either, for many reasons with an almost 3 year old and a 10 week old....and a preteen stepson!

I would strongly NOT recommend spanking or popping your 1 year old! As many posts have stated, kids learn from their parents and mimic them. I don't get the feeling from your post that you want to stoop to resorting to hitting. Not only does this teach your child that it is ok to hit in order to get what you want or gain 'control' but you will likely be opening up another bigger can of worms with your child's behavior. Although forceful parenting may get what you want at that moment with the particular bahavior you are trying to extinguish, it often creates many more problems, frustration, etc since the child still feels misunderstood since they can't get their needs/desires accross and there is still no good communication between parent/child. I am sure we can all think of ways to teach a better behavior...it just takes more effort and patience.

I understand your frustration, mom. I have been teaching toddlers for music and always have a few screamers and it is such a delight (sarcastic) when 3 or more join in. I do believe your little guy is trying to communicate. It is very hard to decide what to do. Both ignoring it until he sees no results and talking with him, not at him helps, depending on the situation and when he is doing it. Teaching soft voice is important. Is your child interacting with others his age or a little older? They love to imitate and watching other children enjoy play without screaming or communicating differently helps. Music classes are great because we have a time to scream, sing, dance, be quiet, be loud and be soft. They learn a lot quickly.

My toddler son does the same thing as well and doesn't seem to understand "quiet inside voice", but he is getting better. I reinforce by having a quiet voice myself and when I speak to him I use a calm and reassuring voice. I say, "shhh, quiet, inside voice" frequently and now he does repeat that back to me. I think it is a stage, I have two older children that went through their own stages and they pass and yes, we stayed home and got take out, but it was only a short time, as all child hoods seem to be. I would be careful about "swatting" him, as you will send a signal to him that it is appropriate to hit others. Studies have shown that up until the age of seven years, humans are mimics, no matter what they see, they copy. So, model what you want and surround him with calm and quiet people and environments. One thing that people don't realize is if there is constant noise around them, they will be louder. So, turn off the TV, radio, music, etc. Also, with older siblings, they sometimes don't feel heard, so they will be louder. Another idea is to be conscious about responding to them as soon as they say something (even if it is gibberish), so they don't feel they have to yell to get heard.

Just breath and enjoy him, maybe he will be an opera singer when he grows up! :)

A.
www.naturallyliving-clearskies.blogspot.com
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Let him scream. the more you tell him to stop the louder he will get. when he realizes he is not getting the desired response from you he will stop

I have a 17 month old who does the same thing! I was told by my ped. that it was a stage he is going through! But I am like you I felt embaressed to go out to dinner and stuff b/c he thinks he needs to get down and run around and when you don't let him he screams! So I started popping him on the side of his leg! It has started to work! I think he knows that when I pop him I mean buisness b/c he stops shortly after that! I don't pop him hard and I at first I thought to myself I can't believe you are spanking him he's to precious and little but you know what I want to get control of it now and I don't want him to be one of those kids NOBODY wants to be around! So anyways I hope this helps! Good luck!