14 Month Old Tantrums

In my opinion, I think 14 months is way too early for time outs. They can't understand why they have to sit in one spot for one minute. They're still babies! They don't understand the concept of time. I didn't start any punishment until my daughter was two, when we could actually have a conversation about what she was doing wrong.
We went through the same things with the diaper changes though! All you can do is ignore the crying and fighting and just do it as quickly as possible. Give him something to play with, sing a favorite song, or tickle him to make him laugh. Anything to distract him. But don't give in to the crying, no matter what. If you give in one time, he's going to know that he can manipulate you and he has a power over you.
When we go to restaurants, we bring plenty of stuff, little toys, crayons, snacks, etc, anything to occupy her. If we go to a place that has a long wait, we leave and try somewhere else. But I've learned that we shouldn't let her stop us from going out and having a nice day. Yes it's very hard but you can't stay home all the time, you'll go nuts! And you can't always get a sitter. However, we don't take her out when she's tired, hungry, or sick.
This is going to get better though. You'll have to try different things and see what works best. Good luck!

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I agree with everything that M R said before me. My son was exactly the same way. He wants to do what he wants, when he wants. Everytime he throws a tantrum, I remain calm and speak to him about the situation (i.e. I know you don't want to leave your friend's house, but it is time to get in the car now). My son is now starting to get a lot better. He just turned 21 months and I can see that the last few months have been hard, but this is how we teach them. They don't automatically know how to behave and how to have patience, we have to teach them. We just have to do the same things over and over until they "get it". We mostly distract our son when we think he might have a melt down. He tried to hit us a few times when he was mad, but we grabbed both hands, got down in his face and said "No hitting" in a very low voice. He got the picture after only a few times of that. As far as the diaper changes go, we give him toys and books, and do it as quickly as possible. I keep a lollipop in a drawer in the changing station to give him if I am desperate, but he doesn't get it if he is crying. I know it's really hard right now, but it does get better, especially when their communication and reasoning skills get better. If you know that your son will "act out" in certain situations, why not avoid those situations (like eating out), just until things get better. I hope this helps. Good luck!

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Ignore or distract works best for us.

I remember the diaper struggles. What a pain, especially with a full poopy diaper. Use the strap on the changing pad if you have to. Keep different, unusual items handy if necessary (we give our son a clean diaper to play with, have also used empty wipe refill cases, a book or toy, and just anything for him to flip over and examine...all in the name of forgetting that he is getting his diaper changed). It will pass - I promise!

Putting on the coat - when your kid arches his back, tickle him. Not tickle him so much it is painful, but a little playful tickle to the belly. Think about it - if someone was tickling you, you'd go from arching your back to bending at the waist. We used to do this when our son would arch his back while trying to get into the carseat, but we blew raspberries on his belly. Worked like a charm.

Try to remain as calm and neutral as possible. He's not going to always get everything he wants, right when he wants it, and his terms, so start teaching him some patience and that his world won't end if what he wants doesn't materialize immediately. We still have the 'impatience' at dinner time when he is screaming for his food. I might think I am supermom, but I can't make the minute on the microwave go any faster to get his food to him so I just ignore his screaming. He'll get the food eventually and he won't starve.

While you don't want to withhold food or affection, you should be careful not to go the opposite way as well. If you immediately give in to his demands and whims especially when he is screaming and tantruming, he learns that it is an effective way to get your attention. Just continue to be patient and know that with time things do get better.

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This "ugly" phase starts long before you expected it to. At around 15 months we just stopped taking our son to restaurant unless they were absolutely "kid friendly", and we only take them for the early seating...like 5, before he can disturb anyone. It just stopped being fun, and we couldn't justify spending the extra money at a restaurant when only one of us could eat at a time. At this age Waiting is pure torture, and their attention span is very short. If you have to take him out, bring distractions. Play doh, coloring books, books, magic eraser toys...etc...
Try diaper changing where he is playing, and let him continue playing with the toy he was playing with before (in his opinion) he was so "rudely" interrupted. And try to be super quick.
However if none of these work, just say tough luck kid, im doing it, and ignore the behavior. They get better at it. Distractions and ignoring their complaints are usually the best way to handle it, as punishments and consequences at this age can escalate the situation, and really aren't worth it.

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