14 Month Old Only Wants Mama

SHe is learning that people go away and if she calls them they come back. Just as kids love to throw things on the floor so you will retrieve them. Play peek-a-boo with her a lot and hide behind a wall or door and pop out and say boo. She will soon learn that you will come back..eventually. But its a stage she has to work through and you should not let it keep you from going out when you have to.

It sounds like u need your daughter to get comfortable enough w other people, so they can hold her even when you're home, working, resting..etc.

Can u hire a sitter ( a high school girl for a couple of hrs a day) who can play w her while you cook/clean/work...or invite another mom + baby for a playdate regularly till you and mom can do drop-off playdates. She may be a bit young though for that.

Soon, she'll start preschool and be apart from you a few hrs a day and of course you will cherish the days you could bond--something many mothers miss.

Good luck!

J.,

It does not last forever - enjoy it while you can. She'll be pushing you off to be independent soon enough. Enjoy her hugs and her closeness - it is something you may not see again - even with a sibling.

Good luck enjoying your blessing,
M.

It's really quite normal. I work out of the home 4 days a week and my 19 month old is just now getting out of the super attached to Mommy stage. If you have to go out of the house to get some time to yourself, that's fine. Do it more often. But it's not a big deal, it's totally normal and she'll grow out of it. :)

Hi, I have a son who will be 1 in a couple of weeks, plus I have much older children. This is a phase in a baby's development that's normal and will pass with time and consistent encouragement on your part b/c when your baby senses how you may feel (ie. anxious, uneasy, etc.) then she will pick up on those emotions and react to them...remember, children as early as a few months pattern certain behaviors after their parents. Now getting her used to giving you some breaks around the house will be a bit daunting to handle at first, but with your consistency and patience, it will be successful in no time. I did this with my youngest daughter who is 10 now, and was extremely attached to me at that age. I designated two times during the day where it was mommy time and also it was her alone time. It took a good two weeks for her to adapt the idea, but it made a big difference. And during our designated alone times, she learned to understand that we had to stick to it during that time. Even if you can get 15 to 20 minutes time to yourself and gradually increase it as she grows used to the idea, then your world will become a bit easier at home. I hope this will be of some help. Take care.

My daughter was just like that. Ever since she was a newborn baby, it was always mommy. I spoiled her and held her all the time. I have no regrets. People would try to hold her, she would freak out or give nasty looks. Now at 2.5, she doesn't want me anymore. Everyone else is a novelty because I am always with her. Enjoy it while it lasts! It is good that she is not clingy with you during her classes and she interacts with the other kids. She just wants to be with you right now. Don't worry, she'll push you away soon enough and you'll have your freedom but miss the days when all she wanted to do was cuddle you.

Sounds just like my son. I wish I could have an extra set of hands to help with that like an au pair. I love the idea of hosting a young adult from another country to give them a taste of life in the USA and getting the benefit of childcare. It is more affordable than daycare and nannies in my area, I just don't have an extra bedroom at this time so it would not work for me. Maybe you should check it out. www.culturalcare.com is the largest agency with 20 years experience.

I am with my son all day too (he is 12 1/2 months) and he seems to be the same way. It is usually worse if he is tired or not feeling well. I wonder if this happens with mom's who work outside of the home as well...I try to give him distractions like special toys in each room. Also, I try (not always successful) to keep him well rested and not sick. :) I think it will pass as sepperation anxiety is usually over by 18 months. When we have my parents over I try to stay out of sight as much as possible. Sounds like your daughter has a healthy and normal attachment to you.

I feel like I am reading a page out of my life.. my daughter is the same way... she will not sleep without me (we still co-sleep), eat without me... needs to come and check on me every 30 minutes. I work from home, so every time I am on the phone with a client, its "mommy time". The only time someone else gets a preference is if they are standing by the door, ready to leave. My daughter loves being outside and is a social butterfly otherwise. I figure its a phase.

The one thing I have tried to do and seems to be working well is involving her in my activities- so if I am cooking dinner, I give her a pot and pan to play with and ask her to cook as well, if I want to take time to read, I give her a book and we read together (she will flip through the pages).. etc etc. She seems to be getting better. Good luck! :)

She really is totally fine, but that doesn't mean it's easy to never have a break! She's old enough now for you to start drawing boundaries. Start with short periods, where you gently place her a little bit away from you and tell her "I have to work now, sweetie. But in 15 minutes, we'll play!"

Be ready for her to melt down. Tantrum city! But continue to work (or pretend to work while casually eyeing her to make sure she doesn't knock herself unconscious while tantruming...) Once she's calmed down on her own, let her know what a great job she's doing! Remind her that you're so proud of her, and that you have a little more work to do, but will play with her soon!

She obviously won't understand every word you say, but she'll get a lot of it. And she'll understand your tone and praise! At the end of the 15 minutes, give her oodles of affection and praise. Just love love love on her!

Do this multiple times a day, and increase the time. When she abruptly stops and wants mama- pick her up, give her a quick cuddle to make sure all is well, then put her down and do the same thing. It's going to take a few weeks for her to really understand, but it will sink in.

But I wouldn't expect her to be able to play on her own for more than 30-60 minutes (depending on her personality) at a time. Most 14 month olds are independent, but not THAT independent- you know?

And you sound like you have a wonderful partner in your husband! So great! Keep giving him that time with her, whenever he's home (especially if you are too). Her being comfy and happy with daddy while you're gone will lead right into the same behavior even when you're home- just keep reminding her "daddy's playing with you now" and "daddy will help you with that." It's ok if she has a tantrum over it, as long as you guys don't give in. Tantrums are important for toddlers, because they have to find out how to communicate their wants. And this is the first real step towards that! She'll figure it out, as long as you stay consistent. Ignore the dramatics, and praise her as soon as she stops.

My 15 month old son is so similar to your daughter, but this approach is really working for us. Good luck!

Hey I am having a very similar prob with my 22 month old son. He was a miracle child so I spoiled him quite a bit and have recently gotten a lil more sturn. He is great for his dad if im not around but tells everyone no n clings to me if I am... Please let me know if you find the answer... Or anyone else reading this could send advice as well... Thanks!

PS What kind of work are you able to do from home? I'd love to get a real job n be able to do most from home...

Hi, i totally here you. I was there. I went out and bought the huge play yard baby gate. the one with 6 sides then i bought some extensions made a big safe area for her to play in and i would go into the other room (our kitchen where she couldnt see me) i started doing it for 2 mins at a time and she would cry hard but its ok. The first week was hard but i had her in her area for up to 7 minutes by herself with no crying. I know its very hard but my doc told me we needed to do something and this was the safest bet. I know am able to put her in her area with her toys and go cook a entire meal while just peaking in to check on her. I love just the fact i can go to the bathroom alone again. It will get better. it takes a little time. just put her in a safe area and leave for a few mins then come back and give her hugs and kisses and set her back down to play. she will get the hint after a bit and your will haev your space.

I'm glad I read this! I have a 14.5 month old right now too and shes the same identical way. I am the opposite, I am a single mom. Her dad and I were married and together on again off again until we were just off for good for about a total of 9 months of her life added up but he worked 9am to 10pm 6 days a week when she did live with him under the same roof. I've worked full time, as well, since 6 weeks after her birth. I now work 12 hr night shifts 3 days a week and enjoy 4 days off with her. I am lucky enough to have my best friends taking care of her so If I work more than one night consecutively, she just stays with them and sadly i dont really even see her that day due to needing to sleep. Thankfully this is only like once a week. I used to spend weekends with my grandma growing up and i dont remember it ever harming me emotionally. It was actually pretty fun to get away for a night and i have many special memories from it, but I was worried that this behavior meant she misses me. I was glad to see that kids who are home pretty much all week with their moms act the same way so that hopefully its not a correlation to me working too much. She greatly enjoys the people who watch her so hopefully she will be able to embrace the memories made while away from me and I sure will embrace her need to be close seeing everyone say she will push me away pretty soon. Thanks for input everyone! It's helpful to see similar experiences!

Updated

I'm glad I read this! I have a 14.5 month old right now too and shes the same identical way. I am the opposite, I am a single mom. Her dad and I were married and together on again off again until we were just off for good for about a total of 9 months of her life added up but he worked 9am to 10pm 6 days a week when she did live with him under the same roof. I've worked full time, as well, since 6 weeks after her birth. I now work 12 hr night shifts 3 days a week and enjoy 4 days off with her. I am lucky enough to have my best friends taking care of her so If I work more than one night consecutively, she just stays with them and sadly i dont really even see her that day due to needing to sleep. Thankfully this is only like once a week. I used to spend weekends with my grandma growing up and i dont remember it ever harming me emotionally. It was actually pretty fun to get away for a night and i have many special memories from it, but I was worried that this behavior meant she misses me. I was glad to see that kids who are home pretty much all week with their moms act the same way so that hopefully its not a correlation to me working too much. She greatly enjoys the people who watch her so hopefully she will be able to embrace the memories made while away from me and I sure will embrace her need to be close seeing everyone say she will push me away pretty soon. Thanks for input everyone! It's helpful to see similar experiences!

Hi Jo ... We have exacly the same situtation here with my 15-month-old son. In fact, we don't call my son "attached" to me, we call him "obsessed" with Mommy! I, too, work from home, but only when my husband is home or when the little guy is at daycare (only 4 hours in the mornings) because I can't get ANYTHING done otherwise. However, like your daughter, if he sees other people/kids, he can't get away from me fast enough to go "hang out" with them. It's so weird! He's a little social butterfly. But, at home, he won't even play with his toys ... just wants Mommy to entertain him. I know how frustrated you are, and I really think that this is a phase that will pass eventually. My mother-in-law tells me to enjoy it now, because before long, he won't want me at all--we'll be going through the "I'm a big boy now, and I don't need your help! And, while your at it, stop cuddling and kissing me!" phase. LOL
Ah well ... here's to all the mentally and physically exhausted Mommies out there! I don't drink, but as my son is crawling all over me, some time during hour 2 of nonstop "play", sometimes I imagine myself on a remote beach sipping an umbrella drink! Cheers girls!