14 Month Old Daughter Pulls Her Hair Out!

Updated on May 19, 2008
B.S. asks from Fort Worth, TX
16 answers

Has anyone else had any experience with this? My 14 month old daughter has always soothed herself by stroking her hair. Now that her hair a bit longer, she's been pulling it out at the crown of her head while she is going to sleep. She twirls it around her finger, but then it gets wrapped tight around her finger and she ends up pulling it out. Her hair is getting very thin in the area that she twirls/strokes. Occasionally she will pull some out when she is mad or upset. I've researched trichtotillimania (sp), but it seems she's too young for this to be the problem. We also tried having her sleep with socks on her hands in an attempt to break her of the habit. She has learned how to pull off the socks, so this isn't working anymore. Any ideas? Thanks!

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E.H.

answers from Dallas on

My 6 year does exactly the same thing and has since she was a toddler. Thankfully, it is not as bad as it was although she still does it. Luckily, she looked cute in a short swing bob which helped somewhat since the hair was too short to twirl around her finger. We just recently started to grow it out. Good Luck!

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J.B.

answers from Dallas on

Hi, My name is J. Bailey, I live in Rowlett. My daughter, now 8 years old, did this exact same thing when she was 16 mos old, again at age 3. I am happy to share with you what we did. I know it is very frustrating. We tried the socks thing, too. Most important is to not make a big deal of it, do not talk to her about it, but distract her. So I am not writing forever, please call me.

My cell # is ###-###-####.

Working Mother of 4 kids ages 8, 7, 3, 2.

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B.B.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter has always twisted her hair as a comfort. She would do it at night or if she was nervious about something. She started around 14 months old as well since she didn't have enough hair before that. We were lucky in that she never pulled it out. She would just tie it in major rats nests and I would have to spend hours combing it out or just cut it out at times. We kept her hair in a bob until she was around 3 1/2. This kept her from knotting it too badly. When she decided she wanted her hair long, I would simply tell her that we would have to cut it again if she didn't stop twisting. As her hair got longer, I started having her sleep in ponytails. I also tried giving her something else with hair but I never could find some anything with the same fine, soft consistancy. She basically stopped on her own with a few set backs because she wanted long hair. At 6 she still reverts back to the twisting when she is in a stressful situation.

Good luck.

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B.F.

answers from Dallas on

Hi B.,
While reading your post, I was wondering What she is lacking in comfort or a secure feeling?
Who watches her when you are working? I would start looking there first, as I have not heard of this in a child so young.
Maybe if you could hold her an stroke her hair for her, and hold her little hand as she reaches for her hair, This may soothe her and bring a sense of security, that mommy is here now, and she is ok,Talk to her , or even play soft music
Maybe she is left to cry alone to fall sleep,at the day care or sitters.
Does she have a snuggly bear or something to hold onto as she goes to sleep.
It really sounds to me as though she is expressing her frustration,or fears, the only way she knows how. Does she cry when left at the sitters?
I had a bad sitter once, and through watching my child's reactions about going there, I changed sitters, and she was eager to go to the new one.I never found out what it was, but she was happier , and so was I.
Just a suggestion, But I would really be concerned for my child.Did you have to return to work soon after her birth?
My very best wishes for you both.

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A.C.

answers from Dallas on

Hi B.,
i doubt it is trichotillomania as i suffer from this its usually not always but usually brought on by something traumatic in my case it started at the age of 10 when my grandmother passed (she was raising me) it first started by me twisting and twirling my hair and escalated to the extreme where i was almost bald so imagine my scare when my daughter started twisting and twirling her hair at about 1 yr old but no worries its the way they soothe their self like before that she rocked herself or bounced her head off the back of the couch cushion etc... when she was sleepy or just needed to unwind she is 4 no longer doing the hair thing at all try putting her hair in pony tails before she goes to sleep at nite so she cant pull it out.however if you notice as she is getting older that she is still doing it or it moves on to her eyebrows or lashes then she may need anxiety medication as the earlier you catch trichotillomania the better as caught early on it usually can be stopped i wasnt treated my mom scolded me and didnt realize i had no control over it it is a form of ocd (obsessive compulsive disorder)millions of ppl suffer from this condition and have to live with the humiliation of how ppl will treat them especially in school i am 33 and still suffer from this there are support groups but no cure if something is stressful in my life here it comes just like those who cut themselves i dont understand that but i dont do it so i wouldnt well i am rattling on you seem to be a good mother and i am sure you are if she does end up with trich which i doubt it :) remember to stay positive and seek treatment and never make your child feel bad about it hope this helps some from a trich sufferer.

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A.J.

answers from Dallas on

I think this disorder is called Tricotillonemia (spelling?)
its where they get a good feeling when they pull the hair out and they can also pull out their eyelashes and all body hair.

I saw it on Montel or MAury one day... you might want to google disorders of child pulling hair out... or something. I think there is meds for this behavior...

Good Luck
A.

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J.H.

answers from Amarillo on

For sleep time only, try giving her a pacifyer. I know this is a little old to introduce one, and ususally you are trying to take one away at this age. But it sure is better than pulling out hair.

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A.O.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter was about 2 1/2 when she started this but honestly I'm not sure if shd did it out of habit or her ear hurting. I found out that she had a lot of fluid in her ears and I wonder if that made her do it because of the ear pain.
Anyway, we wore caps. I ordered some off of a cancer website. Definitely helped.

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W.N.

answers from Dallas on

A cap? A braid? Barrettes? A way for her to stoke but keep roots protected from the tension. I'd put as much hair in whatever had the firmest hold and attempt a bun on top.
My brother did have the stress caused behavior (ts? I can never remember the name), and in his fourth grade year he looked alot like friar tuck. No hair whatsoever in a large area at crown, the size of a saucer.

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D.K.

answers from Dallas on

I don't know if you want to do this with a girl, but my grandson did the same thing. He twirled his hair when sleepy and then when his little brother was born (he was 2), he started pulling his hair out. They cut his hair really short for about 6 months and he stopped the habit. Of course, I don't know if you want to keep a little girl's hair really short. The bald spot is almost gone now 8 months later.

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J.P.

answers from Wichita Falls on

My daughter is now 4, but does the same thing and has for a long time. We finally got her hair all cut off, like a pixie cut. I, personally don't really like my girls' hair cut off, but if it will break the habit it is worth it. She's had it cut short now since March and seems to be doing a little better. The shorter it is, fights off the urge to twist. We get lots of compliments on how cute her haircut is. Good luck to you. I feel your frustration!

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T.K.

answers from Abilene on

Try vasaline in the area she likes to twirl the most, she can't get a grip, on it, and it will start to frustrate her, and you could possibly replace it with a Barbie with long hair she can twirl? I wish I could show you pictures of me and my cousin and she was the hair twirler and she had huge bald patches in all the pictures! Hope this gets better!

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A.

answers from Dallas on

I HOPE this helps you!!! I had to respond, my daughter did the same thing. It is so heart breaking to! She actually started by playing with my hair before she fell asleep and I have curly hair so it would get wrapped and tangled around her hand and then she would end up pulling out my hair and playing with it. I stopped letting her play with mine and she went to hers and did the same thing. This started when she was a year old. I took her to the doctor and he basically said she would grow out of it. I didn't want to take that chance though of her not growing out of it. It got to where she had a full head of hair on one side and about an 2 inches on the other so I finally cut it so it would all be even. It looked so much better. Anyway, my solution after that which worked AMAZINGLY was giving her a doll aka Dollie and she pulled Dollie's hair out. If she didn't have Dollie she would go back to hers so I gave her anythhing with hair. (doll, my little pony, barbie etc.) try that I really hope it works it did for us and I was so relieved. The doctor said they typically grow out of it but if they don't and will stay with them forever. Some people even pull their eyelashes and eyebrows out. I feel so bad for adults who go through this. She stopped though after about 6 months give or take. She is now 8 with gorgeous hair and doesn't believe me that she used to do that. And she is the most tender headed little girl I know. Good luck to you!!! Let me know if I can help in any way.

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V.M.

answers from Lubbock on

I want to start by saying that my only post on this website was to ask what to do when my daughter pulls her hair out of aggravation. I got so many wonderful ideas to try. My daughter has never pulled any out in relaxation, and no longer tries to pull her hair out as a tantrum either. What worked for me, although it gets mixed reviews, is for me to ignore her tantrum instead of what I was doing, which is trying madly to keep her from pulling her hair out. I know a lot of tantrums are because of her being too tired, too hungry, or misunderstood. One Mom told me to hold her near and really focus on what is aggravating her. That works so well now that she has not had a tantrum in WEEKS! I do wish you luck with this. It is a painful thing to watch for sure. I asked my doc about the Trich. possibility and after hearing our story she said that all kids go through their own tantrums, and as soon as I got to the root of the tantrum we would stop that. I know your situation is different, but I do wish you well and hope this helps if even a little.

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L.C.

answers from Dallas on

My son had a little girl in his class that had the trichtotillimania. It started when she was 2, and it got to the point to where they had to cut her hair very close to the head (almost shaved), and she had to wear socks on her hands to keep her from pulling it. At 4 years old, she is doing well now, but I think they still have to watch her to make sure she is not twirling or pulling her hair esp. at naptime. Good luck!

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S.G.

answers from Dallas on

My friend's daugther did the same thing when younger, she is 10 now and has grown out of it. I love the idea of a doll with long hair.

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