13 Month Old Hitting Herself

When my daughter was little she also didn't know how to express her frustration and anger. What worked for us was 2 things: First, she was breast fed and breast=feeding was used for comforting and resting. Second, we found that taking a bath and playing in the water was soothing and distracting. I think its important NOT to ignore this behavior, but to teach the child positive ways to deal with frustration by redirecting and rest. This may be her way of saying she needs to take a nap. Napping with mom or dad is comforting. Toddlers may need more rest and sleep to avert frustration.

If you do a google search of "12 month old hitting head", you will encounter hundreds of websites of parents talking about the exact same thing. Its very common and usually not something to worry about. Definately an attention-seeking behavior most of the time. However, if there are other behaviors that you've noticed such as unusually high tolerance to pain, delayed speech, to name a couple, you may want to take her in to get evaluated by a developmental specialist. There are some sensory conditions that also cause head-hitting. But most likely, your little girl will outgrow it just like a lot of things. Just keep her safe and try not to reinforce the behavior.

(hugs) Mama, that's scary and frustrating, but I think totally normal for the age. Hang in there!

What worked for us: save "no" for times when they're in danger of hurting themselves or others, and find creative ways to redirect otherwise. Remove objects of temptation to prevent little tantrums, and try to just remove her from the situation before she escalates (if possible).

At 13 months, she doesn't have any self-control or idea about consequences of her actions yet---she's still totally impulse-based. I know it is hard to hear, but it's probably a stage and she will grow out of it. Babyproof your house to the max, distract and redirect, and look forward to the day when you'll have other things to worry about. =)

Best,
J.
mom to a 3 yr. old & 10 mo. old

This is a little phase for some children. My daughter did it too.. and it started right around when she turned one. She only did it for maybe a month or two. Little children don't know how to deal with anger or frustration.. so just hitting themselves is their automatic response. I found that when my daughter did it and I told her no, she would just do it even more. Ignoring her when she did it often helped. I would sometimes ignore her hitting and quickly redirect her to something positive.. like her favorite toys or watching for animals out the window.. or anything else to distract her from the bad bahavior. If your your child it's doing something wrong, instead of saying no, you could say something like "sweetheart that's not ok, let mommy show you something else we can do." I found that worked for my daughter. As my daughter got a little older.. she grew out of the hitting phase and it hasn't been a problem since. She is 1 1/2 now. She knows now it's not ok to hit herself. And as children get a bit older, they can express their anger in other ways. I think your daughter will grow out of it too.. but if months are passing and things aren't any better.. or are getting worse.. or you're noticing any other bahavioral issues.. you could talk with your doctor.

Toddlers hitting themselves is COMPLETELY NORMAL!! 1) Children this age still don't know what to do with their built up emotions (anger) and hitting themselves/banging their heads is a way to release their emotions. 2) Once you respond to the first time they do it, they figure out it is a way to get what they want (or at least get attention). Children generally do not hurt themselves when they hit themselves and it is nothing to worry about. Just let her hit herself or bang her head and ignore it. Difficult to watch, but the more you make a big deal of it, the more she will do it. She will eventually outgrow this stage (though it may take a while). Of note too, some children will bang their heads on the wall until they fall asleep too. This too is normal and is a way to release some energy/self soothe before bed.

My daughter did the same thing A LOT. I did talk to her Dr. he said to ignore her. The thing about children is that they will not really hurt themselves. It is just an attention ploy. She will also "grow out of it". My daoughter only does it now if she is very very tired and not getting what she wants. Hope this helps.

It could be that she's frustrated and can't find an outlet to express herself adequately. Try to figure out what the tiggers are for this behavior and minimize or eliminate them. Sometimes kids who are pre-verbal lash out at themselves or others because they have so much to say and no words to say it! My youngest flings himself backward when angry - we're working on temper control and speech - but the head hitting could also be a sign of something else. I would also consult the pediatrician and investigate other causes, including sensory integration issues.

SAHM of seven, some special needs.

I'm not sure what would cause this behavior to start, but here are a couple of things to try.
You stated that she does this when told "no"....rather than saying No to her...try some positive intervention and redirect her to an activity that is okay to do. Since she has learned that you grab to catch her when she throws herself backwards, I'd say part of the action is for attention.

There is a website http://www.pbis.org/main ...this is about a program called Positive Behavior Support (PBS) ... we are using this in our Local HeadStart Program. Maybe it will have some helpful info for you.

If these ideas don't help, or even if they do, it might still be a good idea to talk with your pediatrician about her behavior.

Good luck,
S. H

I would talk to your dr my mother in law is a special ed teacher and says that hitting themselves could be a sign of autisim(can't spell)

I have a child who does the same thing. I believe that this reaction is because she is such a perfectionist. I have tried to solve this by taking the frustration away (gently) and trying to get her to tell me what specifically is bothering her about the situation. My daughter is 9 now, but exhibited this behavior at about 9 -10 months. She was an early walker and talker because I think she had to accomplish it immediately. My daughter is very (sometimes overly) organized and gets frustrated when others in the family are not as together as she is. I have learned that talking calmly and taking it one day at a time has worked for the last 8 years.

I Agree, I think it's totally normal. My 13-month-old has been doing the same thing, although not as frequently. My brother used to repeatedly hit his head on the fireplace when he was about that age; he's 18 now and totally fine.
I recently read that at this age they are learning through their senses. I wonder if this is part of the learning experience. The biggest thing that works for me is distraction- making him laugh, handing him a fun toy, dancing him around the kitchen, etc. We also practice being gentle to himself, other people, and toys.
It wouldn't hurt to ask your doctor if you are really concerned. It's better to be safe than sorry.
Good luck! I know this can be really frustrating.