13 Month Old Boycotting Naps!

My son did the same thing around that age. This might not be the best advice, but I found my son naps best on the couch. I would give him his bottle and his lovey, then I would cuddle with him on the couch while he twirled my hair.

When he wouldn't go out I would tell him he couldn't play until he napped (I'm pretty hard core.) Sometimes it would take 10 seconds for him to go out, sometimes 15 minutes. But eventually he would always sleep.

Now that I have baby number two, he's learned to nap without twirling my hair or me next to him. He's older so I tell him after his nap he can do something fun - like play the playlist on sesamestreet.org or go to his grandmothers house.

i dont believe in crying it out(however if someone insists on doing it, i agree with the woman saying to read the book, as many people think "ferberizing" is just letting the baby cry until he passes out, which is completely wrong). to have a routine every night for over a year, and now change it by not comforting when he is going to sleep seems like it would be very upsetting to a baby who doesnt understand.

for your concerns, i would think it may just be a phase at this point. he may be just overwhelmed at all the new tasks he is accomplishing. his mind may not be able to settle as easy. he may also be trying to transition to one nap and just not be able to get in a rythym. he knows he isnt tired in the morning like he used to, but cant figure out when to get to sleep. keep experimenting with time changed BUT make sure you try each time a few days in a row. you dont want to do 10am monday, then 11am on tuesday, as it will confuse him more. pick the time where you see him looking tired, and go from there.

i also have no problem with letting him find a new place to sleep. see if you can get him to lay on the couch when you think he is tired.

is he happy without the nap? if he is happy, there is no reason to worry. my daughter had LESS than 12 hours sleep total at 1 year counting naps and nightime. and remember, for his age the average is 14 hours. if he is at 12.5, he is only 1.5 hours less. and average means some are more and some are less, and thats completely normal.

doctors go to medical school. they learn about health and illnesses, how to treat thing, ect. now when you are talking about a subject such as sleeping, that is not a medical issue in the context of asking how to get a child to sleep. there are so many books about the "right" thing to do, some by doctors and some not. but the bottom line is, they are only that persons opinion. if there was truly a medically proven sleep solution, all doctors would be agreeing on it, but they dont agree because its only their opinion. medical advice is how many hours is the average a 13 month old sleeps, not how should i get my child to sleep. besides, sounds like he is the best night sleeper you could ask for. so what if you may have to work a little harder in the day, at least you sleep:) good luck, hopefully he will be on track in a few weeks, thats how long my daughter took for sleep changes!

Sometimes they just hit a developmental milestone and start asserting themselves. It may be too early for him to drop to one nap, so he may be getting overtired which exacerbates his resistance. I would try maybe going back to two naps and fixing the whole schedule at once. I understand where Tara is coming from, as I have read the Elizabeth Pantley book as well as a host of others, but in my case I did have to let my daughter cry. I decided it was worth it for her (and the rest of the family) to be well rested. She has been a happier child, and I have been a happier mommy, with only a few nights or days of crying. I say exhaust all other avenues but the bottom line is he may just not want to be alone in his boring crib and he's letting you know. You could look at Health Sleep Habits, Happy Child my Marc Weissbluth for some ideas. But as always, do what you feel is right for you in your UNIQUE situation with your UNIQUE child. Good luck!

Hi R.
First of all your poor son is not going to get sick from a lack of sleep. Mason sounds like he is sleeping more than some.
Let me just tell you our story.
Our first son slept all night always, and if he didn't there was something wrong. People said let him cry. Nope, I tried that one nap time and he had had diarreah. I felt terrible so never let any of my children just cry it out. For some it probably works. Not mine.
Along came our second son. OK so he didn't sleep. By the time he was a year old, there was no nap and about 6 hours sleep at night. I took him to MD and he saw nothing wrong. OK by the time he was 18 months he was sleeping 2 hours in 24. We did do some quiet time in the AM when I read to him, and in the PM when our older son came home and read to us. From 8 -10 PM was his night's sleep, that is it. MD always said he was healthy, alert, and gaining. In fact bright. OK, I needed more sleep than that. We had to adjust. Until he turned 3, when he woke up we told him to come into our room thinking he would just lay down and go to sleep. Nope. He ran around our bed from my face to his dad's face all night. At 3, we could reason with him and we told him he had to stay in his room, and try to stay on the bed. Still awake all night. So what do you do. Nothing just keep adjusting. He is now the father of our first grandchild. When I asked his lovely wife about sleeping she said our son takes care of him at night because he doesn't need more than 2-3 hours sleep. He learned to read before preschool, I guess he had lots of time, that other kids sleep away. He is a lawyer today.
I guess what I am trying to say if you get one chunk of time that you know he is going to sleep, be thankful. Unless you see a medical problem, which you should keep on top of, and surely tell the MD about sleeping patterns.
I did always say that if I had another child like him I would yell more and see if MD did more. Along came the twins. The boys were 19 and 14 when they were born, one slept great. The other was following in her brother's footsteps. She does sleep more than him but 4-5 hours isn't alot of sleep at 3 years. She is now in college and accomplishes much because on those 4 hours sleep she can function well, whereas some of the kids are wiped out.

God bless you
Talk to your mom, she might also have some great stories to tell
K. SAHM married 38 years and kids are now 37 volleyball coach,32 lawyer and the father of our grandson, and twin girls 18. I homeschooled the girls and they are now both in college pursuing careers in art and missions.

I agree with Rebecca R.: my daughter went through a "funky stage". She was a boycotter, too! We tried to make her nap and go to bed at her regular times (she was a super sleeper for a long while) to no avail. Then I realized she had always been great at sending signals, and we were missing this very big one. She just really wasn't tired or was too amped due to a new skill, etc. Well after a short period, she fell into a new and predictable sleeping routine that makes everyone comfortable. No force, no CIO, and reading her cues as to when she actually was tired helped us develop her new schedule. Good luck!!

I know its hard to let him CIO, but you must. I did when she was about 9-10 months and it is the best thing I ever did. I put her in now and sometimes she doesn't even cry. If she does, I go about my business and get things done, and then i check her and she's usually a sleep. At night she know's its bed time, and we never have to deal with anthing. I use to rock her to sleep, and that was taking forever. So I tried one day for a nap, she got tired,put her in the crib, she cried 15-20 minutes and that was it, and was a sleep. Just make a plan 10-15-30 minutes, what ever you can take and do it. He needs at least one good nap if not 2. So try it, it can't be worse then it is now. Just make sure that you keep busy. Buy a monitor if you have too. That is the best thing, and don't go in there and check. he will be fine. he's fed, changed. Take care.

Hi R.,

I suggest reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. You're already doing many of the things he suggests (an earlier bedtime being one of them.) You will have to stand a bit of crying but Dr. Marc Weissbluth has a way of making you understand that, despite his protests, it is best for your baby to sleep. (You wouldn't give in if he was screaming for junk food right?) My good friend also just recommended The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers by Elizabeth Pantly. She said it's more 'low cry' than 'no cry,' but worked for her 15 month old.

Good luck!
T.

I don't think you should worry- he's probably just going through a funky stage. Just keep trying and even lay down in the room if you can, and I bet within a week or two he'll get into a routine.

If you can, take him outside in the am- fresh air always knocks my kids out!

Your son is sleeping enough overall, and won't get sick from this. I don't have any great advice but we're going through the same thing with our 14 month old, who dropped a nap. She sleeps the same amount at night but went from napping a total of 1 1/2 - 2 hours per day, to just 1/2 hour when she went to one nap. So you're not alone. It must be a phase, I say wait it out and see what he does when he gets used to this new schedule. Or maybe try going back to the old schedule and see if that works any better. Ferber, who is not a pediatrician but a sleep expert, says sleep begets more sleep.

You could try crying it out too, we ferberized our baby at 9 months and after 3 tough nights, she started sleeping great at night and naps were good too until this transition. If you're going to do Ferber though, read the book first (the revised edition from around 2006) because there are tons of misconceptions about him. You don't just leave your baby in his crib to cry forever, you go in and check on him periodically to reassure him that you're there, but you don't pick him up. Eventually he realizes that crying only gets visits from you but no pick ups, so he learns to fall asleep on his own.

You dont have to let him cry to help him sleep better! You are resistant to it because you know in your heart its wrong. There are a few ways to help your baby sleep without leaving them to cry. Try the "No Cry Sleep Solution". It has worked wonders for many families and still is gentle for the baby without having to make them cry. Its the best gentle method on the market, in my opinion. Good luck!

Dear R.,

Unfortunately your doctor is right. There is nothing wrong with letting him cry even though i know it will be difficult. I had to do it with both of my kids and it does work. Just think of how nice it will be to just take him to his crib and say night night and he will fall fast asleep on his own. Its not as cruel as you think. Just make it pleasant and be firm. I would put soothing music on and tell him is time to sleep put him in his crib and walk away. Remember if you can't stay strong and you take him out you will be sending the wrong message. Learning to self soothe is a gift that you will give your child. To rely on himself to comfort himself and fall fast asleep. So don't look at it as a punishment look at it as teaching your child one of the many tools in life he will need to become independent. Stay strong and good luck!!