18 answers

12 Year Olds Having Sex W/15 Year Old Boyfriend.

What is my husbands rights to his daughter in regarding her in a serious relationship w/ a high school student, started in 7th grade. Mother is allowing them to spend everyday together and they are sexually active. This has just made me and my husband sick. Needless to say her mother is constantly putting my husband down on how he feels of his daughters but to me this is neglect. What can we do? Help, we have a 15 mth old and We are not ready to be grandparents.

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

The daughter is probably over the moon to be dating a HS kid.

However, if the mom knows that they are being active and is doing nothing to stop it, then that is neglect. You are right to be concerned because 12y can get pregnant.

A good deterent to sex is to have the 12y old come over and babysit the 15m old.

2 moms found this helpful

People get pregnant even on birth control. I don't know how to stop it. But I'd get a lawyer or call family services. Something needs to stop this.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

The ex wife is putting your husband down because he does not want her to be able to have sex whenever she wants? That's nuts!

This won't be popular response, but if I were you I would take her to a gynie asap and have her put on birth control right away.

Right, wrong or indifferent to the kids being sexually active, one thing is for sure--they DON'T need a baby at this stage in their lives.

7 moms found this helpful

I think jumping to bringing in the police or DCFS is a little excessive. No, I don't think it's healthy for a 12 year old to be having sex daily with a 15 year old boy, but I also don't think involving the police is going to make the situation any better.
You and your husband need to sit down with her, treat her like an adult, and have an honest conversation. Talk about facts - pregnancy, STDs, being emotionally mature enough for this type of relationship, etc.
Explain to her that you are not comfortable with it and think she's too young, but LISTEN to her side as well. Find out where she is coming from and why she is doing it. Does she truly want to, or is she feeling pressured? Does she think that because she said yes one time, that now she can't go back and refuse to do it? There could be so many factors that a 12 year old just might not be able to handle on her own without some help, guidance and support - not fighting - from her parents.
Have a gyno check her out and prescribe birth control - you can decide whether or not to fill the prescription. Better safe than sorry.

As for your husband's relationship with his ex, that's always going to be a tough situation. He needs to talk to her about not putting him down to the daughter, and you guys need to make sure you aren't badmouthing the ex to the daughter too.

Bottom line: your husband is her father. He should involve himself quickly in this situation and talk directly to his daughter, regardless of anything the ex says.

5 moms found this helpful

I do not believe this is statutory, both are children. She needs to talk to someone who will not judge her, tell her no, or make her feel she needs to lie. She needs real sex education, about conception and disease prevention, including the facts about STDs and oral sex. I was raped when I was 12. I felt lost, and scared. The next time I found myself in a situation where a boy wanted sex, and I said no, and he persisted (as teen boys will) I got scared of violence and gave in. This continued and colored my teen years. I turned to drugs and alcohol to escape, and grew up in a world well beyond my years. It was not until years later that I was able to look back and see the truth of those years. I needed an advocate, someone to really help me, not judge, but listen and guide. A councilor is a safe place to start, and she needs to go see an OBGYN and be tested for STDs and discus birth control options. When she does come to you to talk, DO NOT yell, or judge, just listen and guide.

4 moms found this helpful

Okay, first of all....YOU wont be a grandma! lol (Kidding....my husband had a child at 13...she is now 20. If she has any kids he is a granpa...no WAY am I a grandma!)
First, get the daughter on birth control...pronto! Second, someone here really needs to sit down with her and talk about sex...how great it is with someone when you are OLDER...respecting her body...him respecting her. All the things that should have already been talked about. The boy is only 15? sheesh. Talk to the parents of that boy. Does your husband have custody? Maybe go to court and try to get it.
L.

4 moms found this helpful

My husband is a cop. He would say bring in the police. You can't treat a child like an adult, because a child isn't an adult. A 12 year old is not capable of acting or thinking in an adult fashion because they aren't developmentally mature. Her life is at stake and that warrants pulling out all the stops. You know this boy? Do you know where he has been? Who he has been with? Call the Cop an DCFS!

3 moms found this helpful

Why is your husband allowing this everyday??? WOW.....the parents here are at fault. She is a child!!! I would bring her to court and quick!!! He should be calling the boys parents also. This is not a good situation. If this CHILD becomes pregnant who do you think is to blame. The parents of these kids because it is being allowed. Tell you husband he needs to step in quick and be ready to fight. His daughter will fight him on this because she does not know how taken advantage she is. Man that mother is a surely a dope!

3 moms found this helpful

I am soo sorry you are having to go through this! I do not have any real advice but that I will pray for you and your family. A 12 year should not be sexually active at all.

Has you or your husband tried talking to the 12 year old about sex? Or what is her relationship with her dad like? I don't know if they are able to at least talk birth control but at least if she is aware that she can get protection from you guys? (though I wouldn't want her thinking you are allowing her to have sex by giving her birth control). So, this is tough, b/c I really don't know what to suggest. Good luck and as I said, you will be in our prayers!!

2 moms found this helpful

The daughter is probably over the moon to be dating a HS kid.

However, if the mom knows that they are being active and is doing nothing to stop it, then that is neglect. You are right to be concerned because 12y can get pregnant.

A good deterent to sex is to have the 12y old come over and babysit the 15m old.

2 moms found this helpful

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