27 answers

12 Year Old Still Having "Accidents" in the Bed...

My daughter, who is now 12, has been having "accidents" in the bad for the last 7 years. At times, she will go long periods without having them, but as of late, they have been occurring more frequently. I am at my wits end and don't know what to do. She does not seem embarassed by it, but I am for her. I worry ever time she has a sleep over, but so far, nothing has happeped. If there are others dealing with this problem, please give me guidance and direction for help. How much longer will she need to deal with this issue?

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

Have you tried a chiropractor? I work in a chiro office and we have some children with this issue, who after being under care, have either wet WAY less, or stopped altogether. Chiropractic is a safe, drug free alternative!

I haven't dealt with this directly, but my nephew went through something very similar when he was about 11. After trying prescription drugs (didn't work) and routine changes, my sister put him on a restricted diet recommended by the pediatrician and it worked. It wasn't easy--it was a no dairy, low-sugar thing. I'd recommend that you Google it. He had success within a few weeks.

I have no advice for you. I just wanted to suggest that you buy GoodNights or some other "pull up" style pant for her to sleep in. This will save you a lot of anguish in the a.m.

I would also suggest speaking with her pediatrician.

Hope this helps.

More Answers


Assuming you have talked about this with her doctor, since she is going for long periods without an accident she is likely about to 'grow out of it'. Good for you for being concerned and sensitive to her feelings.

Please do not ever punish or try to re-condition her for this, it is (in my experience) not a behavior - but rather just plain physiology - her bladder is just developing later than some other kids her age.

She is probably very embarrassed about it but just doesn't know what to say or perhaps is in 'denial' of it. I know it must be difficult washing her sheets and pj's etc., but I am sure it will pass soon for her. Meantime, will she wear night-time sleep protection? I don't know her size but they make the 'sleep pants' up to XL, or there are always the adult sleep pants (diapers).

While I have not encountered this personally, I have a close friend who went through this with her daughter and also growing up as a child my brother had the same problem until around age 12. Both are also extremely sound sleepers, which likely added to the problem.

I know someone who actually put a device in their child's bed that would 'shock' her if she wet the bed - before that they would set an alarm clock and wake her every 2 hours to use the bathroom - do not do anything like that to her, please, it's just not right.

I would just quietly keep her linens clean, and encourage her and let her know she will be out-growing it any day now.

hang in there, it should pass soon.


1 mom found this helpful

Hi J.,
I know how hard this is on the whole family! My daughter is now 10 and she's been wetting her bed basically since she was potty trained, with some dry spells here and there. We have talked to her doctor, and she's had blood work/urine analysis done and a medical problem was ruled out. Her doctor said that it is genetic and since there is a family history of it that it could still be a few years before she grows out of it. He said that we can't solve the problem, but we can help her cope with the problem. He said there's 3 types of bed wetters -those who wet right after they fall asleep, those who wet in the middle of the night, and those who wet shortly before waking up. The third is the most common, and that's the category my daughter falls into. To find out when she is wetting, you would have to wake up at different times during the night to check and see if she is wet. when you figure it out then you can figure out how to cope. For us, it's just waking her up a couple hours before her normal rising time to go to the bathroom and then go back to bed. There's also a medicine out there that can stop the bed wetting, but only temporarily. As soon as the child stops taking it, the bed wetting will return. The body naturally releases a hormone that slows the urine production when you are sleeping. In bedwetters, the body does not produce enough of this hormone. So the medicine is basically a substitute for this hormone. My doctor said we could try it if we want to give her some confidence for a short time, to show her she can stay dry. But like your daughter, she's not too upset by it so we haven't tried the medicine. And don't worry that she's not embarrassed by it. It's frustrating for us, but it's good that she's not feeling bad about it because it's not her fault. The doctor really stressed to my daughter that she is perfectly normal and she doesn't have a disability and this is something she will eventually grow out of.

For sleepovers or other similar situations, I just get some overnights. My daughter can put them on in the bathroom when she's changing and now one even notices.

Just be patient, and I wish you the best of luck! I know it's not easy.


1 mom found this helpful

I'm currently dealing with eliminating bedwetting by my 8 yo daughter and have read up a bit on the subject. We are using a bedwetting alarm, and it is going very well. From what I've read - I'm not an expert by any means! - the fact that it began after she was already having consistently dry nights, might indicate a different problem than if she never had been dry. In the books I've read, they all suggest seeing a doctor if this is the case. There could be a physical or emotional reason behind it. The books also indicate that some kids do not "outgrow" this problem, but that it could continue well into adulthood. It definitely couldn't hurt to talk to your pediatrician about it. Good luck!

I have no advice for you. I just wanted to suggest that you buy GoodNights or some other "pull up" style pant for her to sleep in. This will save you a lot of anguish in the a.m.

I would also suggest speaking with her pediatrician.

Hope this helps.

i don't know if you have ever heard of george lopez(comedian) had trouble with bed wetting growing up turns out he had a problem with his kidneys or the tubing that runs from his kidneys. and he did not find this out till he was an adult. but is caused his bedwetting issues.

My daughter started having accidents when she was 15 years old. After trying all the usual things, limit fluid intake, waking her up before we went to bed, etc. We brought it up to her doctor who referred us to a pediatric urologist. He indicated that a small percentage of teens go through a period where their kidneys produce an excessive amount of urine at night and it would eventually resolve itself. But in the meantime there was medication to help. The medication did the trick and after about a year, she stopped taking it and hasn't had any problems. So if all the usual tricks don't work, you may want to mention it at your next doctors visit.
Good luck!

Dear J., my son who is 10 had an accident last week. He was embarassed and it only happens once in awhile. I think with him he was so tired the night before he just could not get up. Maybe take your daughter to the Doctor to make sure that there is nothing medically wrong with her. If there is nothing limit her liquids in the evening and make sure she goes to the bathroom before bed and that she is getting enough sleep. Hope this helps.

Hi J.,

I searched my Shaklee files to see if I had any information on bedwetting. One of the things I found is a lack of B vitamins can cause an issue with muscular control. Below is one testimony. There were several others on B-Complex being beneficial. If you would like more information on Shaklee's B-Complex, just e-mail me and I will forward information to you.

"Years ago, we had a friend whose daughter, at the age of 6 or 7 was still wetting her bed. I had just heard Sherri Attila speak and she included the subject of bedwetting and B-Complex. So I suggested my friend start giving her
daugher a couple B-Complex a day, making sure one was late afternoon. She didn't tell her the B-Complex was for her bedwetting, just thought of another reason why she should be taking it. Well....her bedwetting stopped within a
couple of days and has never returned. The way you mentioned below, that the bedwetting became in issue after the first "accident" leads me to wonder if the stress of being afraid to have an accident might well be causing the problem,
which would explain why B-Complex works in some situations.

Patty Bills
"Healthy & Happy, Inc." "

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