12 Year Old No Longer Wants to Play Sports

T.,

Well it looks like most have already said it, but I can help but think, "Do you have my son?" I swear you are speaking of my 12 year old. I just went through this exact thing with him in the last year. He too is good at everything he touches sport wise, but he loves soccer. He has really been into the skateboard scene and every summer he is allowed to grow his hair. (Ironic isn't it?) We were going through some tough times in my household when all the sudden he didn't care if he ever played again. His grades began to slip and my rule of thumb was that I didn't care what extra activities my kids did as long as their grades remained good. So, of course I had to suspend him from soccer and school took him out of football. Needless to say, he didn't care. He spent most of his time riding his skateboard. At first, I was really upset that he would just give up on his dream of playing pro soccer and getting into a great college and so on. However, the more I pushed, the more he didn't care and all the sudden expressed he did not want to play any sport anymore. So, since I am stubborn, I was not about to let it get to me (unless I was alone in my bedroom :-0). Bottom line, after missing the rest of the season and then indoor season his coach called wanting to know if he was going to play this season. When I told him his coach called, you should have seen his face light up. I think the break really made him realize how much he missed it. Not even sure it was the sport he missed, but I think it was the team. Yes, he still skateboards all the time, but I finally see my happy son once again. Just remember teenage years are hard enough with the pressures surrounding them (friends, drugs, alcohol, etc.) so the last thing we need is to make them feel too much pressure at home. :-) Of course, I am not saying let them run amuck. They must have boundaries and take care of their responsibilites. One more thing, this is the age where they start wanting to have their own space. Well, good luck!

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I have a seventeen year old who is now having to make some of his own tough decisions and I think that this is a golden opportunity to model a decision making process with your son, rather than take it as a sign to put your foot down. They need the practise of making decisions for later. If he's not having fun or even slightly enjoying the sports, it's not best for him anyway so deciding on something else productive may be best for all.

While I agree with the previous responder that you can't push without creating a worse situation, in your shoes I'd probably say, "Ok, I understand you don't enjoy the sports. It's ok not to join the team, but that doesn't mean you will only skate instead. I want you to select from these other after school activities one thing that you are willing to try." I'd offer several choices, let him decide which to do, and request that he give it a fair chance - and for our part we'd support his skating at the next level up from where he is now - provide transportation to a skate park, or to competitions, or whatever would motivate him.

And in the meantime you might really try some empathic listening techniques to ferret out if there is anything behind his decision to drop the sports. Reflective listening is another name for it. Car rides are excellent opportunities to talk; for some reason kids often open up on car trips.

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Skateboarding is a sport. If either of my sons skateboarded obsessively, or did any physical activity for that matter, I would be happy. Instead they are gamers. (My daughter is the athletic one.)

I think you can really turn a kid off something if you push too hard. If someone forced you to do something you didn't want to do, would you end up liking it? Not likely. Your son will end up really hating it if you force him. At least in your son's case he certainly has tried these sports. He's obviously athletic, so being physical in some way will probably always be a part of his life.

I say at this point don't push it.

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Hi T.,
I don't have experience in this area with my own children (yet), but I was a natural athlete growing up. I swam year-round, and played club volleyball and basketball as well, and was a dancer. I "hit the wall" so to speak, just before high school. My freshman year my parents made me play varsity volleyball, varsity basketball, and varsity swimming. Without really giving it my all, I was the star of all three teams. I'm sure they were thinking, here's her free ride to college! But I HATED IT! Finally I begged my parents to let me drop everything but swimming. I finished out high school just doing that. Then in college, I became a cheerleader. Yep, that's right! And loved it and had so much fun! (And eventually my parents weren't embarrassed to admit that their star athlete daughter had gone and become a cheerleader.) I think if they'd forced me to continue with all the competitive sports, I'd probably have rebelled in other ways (drugs, alcohol). As it was, they gave me some free choice and I ended up doing fine. I maintained good grades and was a good kid. To this day I still hate competitive team sports, but I'm doing half-marathons now and love it! Maybe your son doesn't like team sports and he just wants to do something a little creative on his own.

I say, let him do his skateboarding thing. You never know what will come of it (x-games, the Olympics some day?) - at least he is doing something athletic that he enjoys. Healthy living comes in many different forms!

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I know you mentioned that he doesn't seem to want to listen to you, but I'm wondering if now might be the time to listen to him. There may be a significant reason that he doesn't want to do sports that he hasn't been able to put into words. Maybe he doesn't like competition, or someone is being a jerk on the team. You may have to prove to him that you would really like to understand the reason. If you understand him, you might be able to accept the reason or else be able to compromise with him better; or better yet, even help him cope with something difficult he might be quietly going through.

I agree with some others, skateboarding is definitely a sport! So are all the board sports! Board sports often also provide people with a sense of community and great friendships!

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if you are worried about him staying physically active, I'm sure skateboarding is exercise. If you are worried that most of his time will be spent "hanging around" with friends and not doing much, maybe you should try getting him involved in an activity that isn't a team sport--like martial arts. Martial arts helps create discipline and respect, and is a real workout. There are many forms to choose from--why don't you check out some places and then take him to see them. Most schools offer a free introductory lesson to see what it is like. My sons have attended Richard Lee's East West kung fu in Alamo (now also in San Ramon) for over 11 years. They love it. You go at your own pace and the only person you are competing against is yourself (to get to that next belt). Check out bokfudo.com. Like I said, there are many forms of martial arts to choose from, as well as schools that focus more on boxing or wrestling forms of martial arts (if his interest goes in either of those directions). Good luck.

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You have a lot of good advice already but I thought one more might help.

I agree with the thought you can't force him. You do know what is best for him in the respect of not doing drugs and dropping out of school. But he is beginning to learn what is best for him, and that may be making mistakes of not playing sports or other mistakes.
It is very very difficult to sit by while our children make decisions we don't agree with, but I believe that is parenthood.
I think it is important that he has an outlet for his masculinity, and be involved in something. But let that be up to him to pick. Let him know that activites build character, and it doesn't have to be sports. He is learning how to define himself, and you have an opportunity to help him stay true to himself. You may know what is best in that he has to stay involved beyond skateboarding. Another activity can enhance his skateboarding.
Good luck with the teenage years!!!

T.,
There was a time that I loved soccer and then cheerleading - but then in my senior year I didn't want to do it anymore. My parents always urged me to "finish what I start", which it sounds like your son is doing with football. But my parents also said that if an extracurricular activity is not giving me enjoyment or growth anymore, that it was my decision to quit and try new things. But I couldn't quit part way through something. I had to learn about commitment. At the end of a semester or season I could quit. They supported me and I am grateful for their attitude today. I will do the same with my baby when he is older. It's not like he wants to quit school. That is mandatory. But these are extracurricular activities. Why push him? What do you mean you know what is BEST for him? Why does he have to continue to play football? What is wrong with skateboarding. Maybe that will lead to another type of sport or some other interest. He will become a well-rounded kid. I say, to make him complete something, but once it's done he is allowed to leave the sport. I hope my story helps.

Why not let him pursue skateboarding as his "sport." What is it exactly that you want him to get out of team sports? Physical activity? Teamwork? I think that there are other ways you could get him the things you are looking for. If he really doesn't want to play I don't think pushing it is a good idea... It's suposed to be fun... right?

My advice is to make a new agreement about his activity level (that quitting sports doesn't mean he can sit around the house and play video games) Help him choose new activities to replace sports (ie skateboarding plus joining a school club to get the group thing)

Good luck.

T.

I know how exasperated you must feel, especially since he's always done sports, but maybe he's burnt out, maybe he really doesn't enjoy it, and maybe you don't know what's best if you want to push it. Who knows? After a year, he may want back in... or when it's high school sports instead of his current level. That said, you should keep an eye on him and pay attention to the friends he is hanging out with just in case there is delinquent behavior or drug use among them, and maybe explore why he doesn't want to "play anything ever again". I suspect something happened or he's sick of the team involvement and enjoying being solo. Did the coach or a teammate belittle him? Is he all awkward and uncoordinated in his puberty where he used to be smooth? Maybe you could encourage him to find some skateboarding competition to participate in: then he'll have a goal to his activity. I'd push involvement in something, but not the sports he is adamantly opposed to- even if he's good at them. I am sure you know from your other child that this is the time he'll start questioning your authority and pushing his limits. Pick your battles carefully and let him have some independence. Good luck.

If he doesn't want to play, don't make him play. If you do, he will eventually start "hating" sports and then will start resenting you. At 12, he's old enough to know whether he wants to play or not. And if he has already stopped giving his all, it will get worst and he will start taking away from his team by requiring more from his coaches(constant reminding, etc.)

God bless and good luck.

Hi T..

Our son is the same age and has played multiple sports since he was 4. There are seasons he says he doesn't want to play. Then, for some unknown reason, he suddenly decides he wants to play. Who really knows what makes them tick? :)

You may want to ask yourself why it's important to -you- that he play sports. Are you thinking it's his passport to an eventual scholarship? Is it to keep him busy? Out of trouble? Focused? Eye hand coordination? Sportsmanship? Whatever the end result you're looking for, he may be happier achieving through some other outlet. AND, having another outlet will make him a more rounded person.

Given skateboarding has his current attention, have you considered looking for a skate park? Maybe a skateboarding club? Competition?

Maybe he'd like to learn to draw, act, or learn more computer skills, or music. One never knows...

I absolutely believe children should know more than the basic subjects taught at school. And, sports are always a good extra-curricular activity, when the child -wants- to participate. Otherwise, I'd seek other options for him. Good luck!

Can you find some type of structured skatre boarding for him. My only concern, and I don't have kids his age yet so I may not know exactly what I am talking about but, I see all these "skater" kids skating, but also just hanging out, some starting to get in trouble here and there (I had a nephew who did this) and then there interests in anything totally constructive started going down down down, grades dropping dropping dropping! Not saying this will happen to your son, I just think at least a structured environment with adult supervison and teaching helps keep a child focused and on the right track, like some someone suggested before competing in skateboarding, this way it is something important to him where there is no room for "messing up", just like baseball or basketball ect, of course you don't want to force them to continue a sport they don't enjoy. My 5 year old wanted to play soccer, but my 7 year old didn't, doesn't like the game, so I put him in Cubscouts, so at least he is in some type of structured activity. Unforutanly espcially nowadyas we have to keep them busy and active so they stay out of trouble and don't become couch potatos of addicted to sitting around and playing video games night and day! They need activity, ok enough of my rambling seems more like 25 cents instead of 2!! Good luck I am positive you will find the right decsion for you and your family and it seems many people have given great advice!!

I wouldn't push the sports. If he's not interested, he's not interested. He may become interested again later, but he's probably had his fill if he's been doing it this long. Give him a break. It's not like sports are essential and it sounds like he's still into a sport - skateboarding - but it doesn't sound like you recognize it as a sport. Why is his playing sports so important to you and his father? If he's not having fun, then what's the point?

T.,
Team sports are not always for everyone...They are also not always fun. At age 12 he has given them a try, so at least he has experienced it. My son and daughter always went for the individual sports like skateboarding, snowbourding, rock climbing, bike riding, gymnastics etc. They really are more of a personal challenge to the child. They feel accomplished in their ability and they have more control over what is going on with them... with team sports you are at the mercy of the coach and sometimes it is not fair or balanced. For example, not playing the child in a particular game or putting them in a position other than the one the child wants because it is taken by some other child. Also team sports have a whole evil side to them...parents fight alot over the game outcomes or their little one was the better player and should have been in the game and not on the bench. Children notice this stuff. I would consider listening to your son and finding out why he chooses to not play. Seek alternative sports for him to excell in that are not so structured.(he has already found skateboarding) Believe it or not, children who are in sports at school tend to not do as well, because they are at practice or traveling to games instead of having time to do homework and free time becomes very limited the older they get. (how often have we heard about the kids that passed a class just because they were on the football team and needed to play in the big game....it happens. Help him love to be an individual in a sport. Pushing him will only make him hate it.
Hope this helps. I hope I haven't offended any couches out there. :)
E.

Hi, In my opinion, it isn't important if he plays sports, just that he stay physically active. My son doesn't play sports, but we go for a bike ride as a family every night after dinner, or sometimes we go swimming at the Y. On weekends we go for hikes or wander around someplace that requires walking like the zoo or a kite festival, etc. I take him to the Jungle, playgrounds, the beach, rollerskating, etc. Anyplace where I know that he will be inclined to move his body. The gaming system we have is the Wii so that even playing video games he is moving.

You could have fun and become stronger as a family.

Hi T.!

This is really a tough one! I have a son you age, then one in college as well, so I have definitely been through this.

At the age of 12, almost 13, they seem to finally have the "courage" to talk back, and speak what they really want to say. In your case ".....anything else, ever again...." Usually, it means that they are "over-worked"...tired. School just started, so there's an adjustment period he's probably going through. Bascially, he doesn't have enough time for his friends which is the most important thing right now for him.

In my house, you HAVE to participate in a Spring/Fall sport. It is mandatory, but it can be anything they choose....a sport, an instrument, or whatever. When my 12 yr old gets EXHAUSTED from his busy life, he says things like your son has said. I feel bad for him. This year, I have tried to help him develope a schedule that includes his friends daily. Whether it be an online computer game, or someone coming over for a short period of time.

There have been times when I was the one who called off "going to practice", but I had to have an excuse that had nothing to do with my son. It was because I had too much work to catch up on, or whatever. This way, when I felt lke he needed it, he had a day off of routine.

T., it sounds like he just needs a better balance with his favorite "things" .............skating & friends. Try to make sure he has those. I wouldn't let him have skating as his "sport", though. It would be too hard to "watch" him to make sure things are innocent for his age-level. At this age, they can stray really fast!

Listen to your heart...........you'll do great!

:o) N.

I have 2 boys and they both play sports. I guess if one of them came to me and told me he didn't want to play sports anymore I would ask him what else he was interested in. I would definately enroll him in something else. They need someting besides school and hanging out with their friends, they need a creative or physical outlet. Some sort of class like photography or even taking the dog to obedience class. I definately wouldn't just let him spend all his free time just riding his skateboard and hanging out with his friends. My son rides a skateboard/bike with his friends, they do hang out, just not in excess. He might change his mind about sports once he gets to highschool. My son is a freshman this year and being on the football team helped him feel that he belonged right away, he had instant friends from the football team. It really helped. Good luck!

Be careful. To change so dramatically could mean something far more than you realize. I would get him checked out physically and possibly mentally. Maybe, it just may be a matter of getting someone he could talk to because something doesn't sit right with him. Sports isn't everything, but something isn't right to change so fast so quickly. He might need another outlet to express himself.

Good luck!

HI T.,

I say support him in the sport he loves. My husband is a cyclist and grew up with a family that didn't recognize it as a sport because it wasn't popular or traditional at the time. Therefore they missed out on something critically important to him, and something that remains important to him even now at 43 years old. They have never seen him race and he was an olympic hopeful at the height of his participation in the sport.

Your son may just be becoming his own person and has decided that organized sports are not his thing. Or maybe he doesn't like the coach or team this year and doesn't want to do it? So many changes happen with kids personally and socially that he may just be developing a different outlook that doesn't fit with the sports he's been playing.

I would talk to him and LISTEN without judgement about why he doesn't want to do it anymore. You may have a perspective on the situation that he hasn't thought of, and can support him in his decision not to participate in sports right now, but leave the door open for him to start again later. I wouldn't push by telling him that he has to and that you know what's best for him. I don't know your son's personality, but doing that may only contribute to the resistance of playing in the future.

I think someone mentioned this already, but I would also keep an eye out for any signs that he might be getting in with a "bad" group of kids. I'm not stereotyping skateboarders specifically, but anytime you have a situation when there is a drastic change of heart and lifestyle there can be other factors that influence that.

Hope this helps... Good luck!

While I think that playing a sport is a good thing, I don't think that it should be the all consuming thing in his life. Sounds like 9 years of it is giving it a good go! I think that if you want him to be involved in sports then you should require him to maybe pick 1 sport for the year instead of EVERY sport possible. I can only imagine how burnt out he must feel. I really think that we have gotten WAY too busy in our life styles these days, and it is really not fair to the kids. Just curious - do you require your daughter to play in as many sports as your son?

Don't push it anymore. If he doesn't want to play any organized sports anymore, then let him make the decision. Wow, he is only 12 and has been in sports for almost 9 years, that is a lot. Maybe he just wants some of his own time to do what he wants to do. Sounds like he is getting plenty of exercise skateboarding so there shouldn't be a concern there. Our children so often do not get the chance to make a lot of their own decisions, but something like this is and should be his decision not yours to make. What are his interests? Does he like music or art? Maybe now that he will have the time, he could take a class on something he enjoys and maybe start a new hobby.

I think keeping your son involved in sports or some kind of activity that will keep him grounded at school in the future would be good. I am a high school teacher and many of the kids that are obsessed with skateboarding do not have any other interests and don't usually do that well in school as they get older. I know this is stereotyping, but in my experience its usually true. Kids that are involved in sports, band, drama or choir tend to do better in school and I think it is because they are involved in school more- not just the academic part.

Hi T..

Skateboarding is a sport in itself. There are competitions and he can practice anywhere. But I would suggest, if you are in the area, taking him to Campbell Community Center. They have a skateboard park where he can really show his stuff. There are safety rules and you need to sign a waiver, but this will give him a sense of competition with the others that skate there.

My 11 year-old went through the same thing. It was only skateboarding he was interested in for a while, but then he came back to basketball when his friends wanted him on the school team. He may change his mind, but if not, I would allow him to do skateboarding. He can get some good exercise out of it.

Hi T., My son is now 21. He played sports from the age of 4. He played everything and like your son, he was good at them all. After the age of 8, he played mostly baseball and basketball. At the age of 13, he decided he no longer wanted to play baseball. He still continued to play basketball and still does to this day. I know that he regrets not playing baseball anymore. I think he could have gone far with it. When they get to be the age of 12 and up, it starts getting very competitive and some kids cant handle the pressure. My husband was a coach for many years, and he saw the difference between competitive and non competitive kids. My nephew is 13 and he no longer wants to play any sport either. He just wants to skateboard as well. He says that there is just too much pressure from the coaches and he would rather not play. I know I am going around in circles. I guess my point is, if he doesn't want to play, he shouldn't be pushed. Maybe once he starts high school, he can try out for one of the teams. At that point, a little push might be necessary. Good luck.

It sounds to me like you're pushing your sons to play sports. Nine years is a long time of having commited to something. At this point in time if he truly enjoyed playing sports he would continue doing so with no problem, most likely he'd stick to concentrating on one sport and not playing so many throughout the year. You must realize that for the first 12 years of his life you made all of the decisions for him, now he's about to become a teenager and he's finding out what he likes and what he doesn't. He's entering a new phase in his life where he's a "baby" anymore, not a young man just yet...but he'd like to have some choices to be made on his own.

I know this is a hard situation - we're going through the same exact thing with my 13 yr old nephew right now too. He was very much into music and art and suddenly he prefers skateboarding to anything else in the world. He's grown his hair long and he's into that Emo/Goth look, but dresses much more like a skateboarder than a gother. Luckily he still loves music, but he's doing it much less nowadays. Realize that your son is growing and is craving some space. Have you talked to him to see why he never wants to do sports again? Did something happen to him that you're not aware of? Has his group of friends changed? If so, do you think they're a good or a bad influence on him?

I'd say don't push him into doing sports, but find out why he doesn't want to play anymore, it sounds like there's something deeper than he's letting on. And skateboarding isn't bad at all. My friend's husband is a professional skateboarder and makes really good money all year long!

Good luck!

I don't believe kids should be forced to play sports if they don't want to as long as they have other interests like your son does in skateboarding. Everything in moderation though so I would say to him that his academics come first and that any skateboarding will cease if he doesn't keep his grades up. I think an hour a day is good for his skateboarding.

our son suprised us by telling us he didn't want to do football this year and instead signed up for soccer. He came home yesterday and signed telling us he tried out for flag football at his school. It made me realize it's not the sport he didn't like but the demand and pressure from the league we had him in. Since your son has been in sports probably since he can remember he may be trying to express his independence through the solo sport of skateboarding or wanting to make his own choices of how to spend his free time and may just be burnt out. You see gifted athletes capable of playing college sports and beyond that but just want to have a life like other kids. I would lighten his load or take a sport away and he may appreciate it more when he doesn't have it?

My husband was also a natural athlete and quit sports too. He was also really good at skateboarding and snowboarding and he loved it much more then standard sports. Unfortunately, he did not get family support for these unconventional sports and was not encouraged to pursue them. It turns out that he was so good that he was sought out for sponsorship by the pros and could've done x games, etc. I say just encourage your son to be the best he can be at whatever it is that he loves. Seek out ways for him to do those type of activities better through classes, workshops, etc. Lok at Tony Hawk. He is better paid then most conventional athletes. Good luck!

It's ok that he doesn't want to play sports. Have him get involved in another activity to get involved in. Have him take some graphic design classes or something so that not all of is freetime is being sucked up by skateboarding. However, putting him in things that he doesn't want to be in will only blow up in your face.

Sports are what will keep him out of trouble. The problem is you cant force him to play. Maybe you could suggest he play sports in lieu of having to get a work permit and a job next year, or something else not so desirable.

I can't imagine at his age there is any way you can get through to him that you know what is best for him--he's a teenager now (even at 12).

As mentioned previously, get him into structured active competitive skateboarding and snowboarding.

T.,
Please listen to your son. I believe that no child should be pushed into an activity they don't like. That includes music lessons, sports, art lessons, etc. It's not like you paid for a whole season of something and he only went twice. Your son is becoming a teenager, and having raised 3 of those already I can tell you that you can't force it. If you try you will push him away.

Of course you know what is best for him - like you wouldn't let him hitchhike across the country following his favorite rock band. Let's put it this way: you are certainly still in a position to protect him from bad mistakes, but you cannot Force him to continue with sports.

Good luck with this.
J.

So let him skateboard and let him drop the other sports. Pushing kids to play sports (or stay in dance or gymnastics or whatever)after they no longer want to do it because they like it ... generally is a sign of the parents living vicariously through their kids.

I have been involved in Little League heavily for the past several years and this is the age where their focus tends to start shifting anyway. Girls are starting to play a part, their interests change and diverge, and pretty much anything mom and dad push for they push against. It's part of becoming independent and individual beings.

You never know .. he could be the next Tony Hawk. and in case you didn't know, Tony Hawk is a professional skateboarder who bought his first house at 17 years old. He has numerous video games he has collaborated on designing as well as skateboards, skateparks AND roller coasters. He's a very rich man.

I would honestly examine why the need to push him on continuing in sports he's no longer interested in is important to you. Consider if it's really for his benefit ... or yours.

Hi T.,
I am a family therapist specializing in teens and their families, and let me assure you-- the quickest way to put emotional distance between you and your son is to take the 'we know better' approach. You say he is gifted in sports and also that he is continuing with skateboarding, so why are you so determined he must stick with all the other sports as well? I would recommend not pushing it at all-- he may be feeling overloaded with so many sports and just need a break, he may find his peer group is shifting and the organized sports no longer hold his interest-- whatever the reason, it is his life, and as he isn't harming anyone.

First you need to talk to him to find out why he is no longer interested in sports. Maybe he has felt overcommitted all of those years and wants some time to himself. Perhaps he feels like he was pushed into doing them all this time.

In any case, children's interests generally change as they grow and you need to honor the "new" him. However, there is a strong link between Sports or Clubs and Academics. These activities are the best way to keep teenagers out of trouble and interested in/connected to school.

Maybe suggest having him try a new sport like wrestling, tennis or swim team. Or perhaps there is a school club he is interested in. Maybe he can take up guitar or another "cool" instrument...our local high school band teacher teaches guitar because so many teens are interested and any music is SO good for cognition and brain development.

If none of this appeals to him and he likes the outdoors, maybe he could join Boy Scouts or a local Service Charity. He just needs something to keep him a little bit busy and connected to his school or community.

Good luck...teen years are tough.

Is he still interested in the skateboarding or did he lose interest in that as well? If he's still interested in the skateboarding, let him explore that or encourage him to compete with it. Skateboarding may not be your traditional sport but if you allow him to explore his passions, he'll hopefully continue with the same amount of effort and energy. If he has totally lost interest in everything and just doesn't want to do anything at all... keep a close eye on him. My older brother is schizophrenic and one of the early signsn of this is withdrawing from friends and activities, followed by wanting to be alone, signs of depression, etc. Hopefully that's not the case at all. Don't want to scare you, but good to have the info so you can watch for it. If he still loves the skateboarding... just support it. It will be happier if you don't make it a battle. good luck!!

I think the important thing is that he be involved with SOMETHING. To go from a very busy, highly structured routine of multiple sports to little or nothing gives opportunity to get involved in things that might be destructive. Kids still need (and despite how they might act, WANT) structure and limits and predictability in their lives and it's the parents job to provide those. This is a critical age and the influence of friends and peers becomes increasingly important. It is fine for him to decide he doesn't want to play organized sports but he should then make a decision about what he is going to do with all that extra free time. Parenting teens is a roller coaster ride HANG On!