15 answers

12 Year Old Daughter Wanting to Wear Makeup

I am writing this to see what others think. If I am being too strict etc. My daughter just turned 12 on Monday. She is in 6th grade, which is middle school where we live. She is an extremely good girl, and pretty much does whatever I say. I can't ask for a better preteen. (she sitting behind me as I type this) However, she has just asked if she could begin to wear makeup. She has told me that all of her other girl friends in her class,trying to get boyfriends, are wearing makeup. I have told her no, I think you are still too young. I have told her that boys don't validate who you are, and that she is gorgeous without makeup. SO I AM BEING UNREASONABLE? SHOULD I LET HER WEAR MAKEUP?(she just wants to wear mascara and eyeshadow) I know times are a changin, but can't I stop it here?

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thank you everyone for your input. I did a little of what everyone suggested. We went and got a wonderful brown/plum pallette for her beautiful big brown eyes, we got clear mascara so that her already 1/2 inch brown eyelashes wouldn't be so clowny. And I got my sister, her aunt, to teach her the basics of putting on make up.
She has been practicing putting it on all weekend, and is very eager to do it today. She continues to ask for my opinion and since she is still asking, I am only to happy to give.
This has been an awesome way to stay friends/and be a mother to my daughter. She was so willing to see everyones opinion. Thanks again.

Featured Answers

I was 13 when I started to wear makeup so to know that 20 years later girls want to wear it at 12 seems much more realistic than I would expect. I don't think you are unreasonable to ask her not to wear it, though, either. Sounds like you've gotten lots of good advice - a compromise of light lip gloss and neutral toned eyeshadow and mascara but not the whole enchilada seems like a good plan. Best of luck to you! Congrats on having a wonderful daughter who is willing to talk to you about it!

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Times, they are a changin'!! I have custody of my 15 year old niece and I let her start when she was 13. I let her start with colored lipgloss and natural eye shadow color and mascara that was clear and then mascara that matched her eyelash color. We made a day of it. We went to the mall and let the beauty girls do a natural makeup look (nordstroms at the MAC counter). They were really great and I bought the lipgloss there and then we went to Walgreens to get the rest(much cheaper). It seemed young to me, but I wanted to make sure she wasn't sneaking to do it. I also wanted to control the colors and how much she put on - who knows what her friends would have given her to wear :)
I just think it's better to control it, that way she knows she can come to you about anyting - especially once you get to the boyfriend stuff. I hope this helps.

2 moms found this helpful

I was desperate for makeup at 12...and my parents did not allow it. Back in the 80's, I'd sneak frosted blue eyeshadow (up to my eyebrows, no less) pink blush and red lipstick. I shudder just thinking about it. How different would things have been if my mother had been by my side and helped me with these things? Probably a lot different. And not so scary :D

She's 12. She is learning to be a lady. This is the time, in my opinion, where you make or break your trust with her in her teenage years. You either become helpful and a trusted advisor, or you become the enemy. I'd take this time to enjoy showing her how to become the woman you want her to be....and allow these things in moderation with proper teaching of how to do it. Just because she wears makeup does not mean she's dating, having "boyfriends" etc. etc. And as long as she has the school work good and has a good head on her shoulders, go with it.

Good luck!


1 mom found this helpful

I allowed my daughter total freedom with makeup after we went to a friend of mine who sold Mary Kay and I let her show my daughter how to apply it so it looked natural (and not like a clown and mom is not the expert). by giving her total freedom and not acting like it was a big deal, at that age, she sort of could take it or leave it. She is 15 almost 16 now, and wears makeup everyday, but does a beautiful job with it. I would find a trusted person to teach her how to do it - kind of takes you out of the center ring, know what i mean?

1 mom found this helpful

I was 13 when I started to wear makeup so to know that 20 years later girls want to wear it at 12 seems much more realistic than I would expect. I don't think you are unreasonable to ask her not to wear it, though, either. Sounds like you've gotten lots of good advice - a compromise of light lip gloss and neutral toned eyeshadow and mascara but not the whole enchilada seems like a good plan. Best of luck to you! Congrats on having a wonderful daughter who is willing to talk to you about it!

My daughter is also in 6th grade. I have been to school several times and I would say the makeup wearing is about fifty-fifty. My daughter isn't into it yet (she's still all about soccer shorts and ponytails) but I know it's coming, and I think it's okay.

I don't believe you are being too harsh, I know where my girls went to school until the middle school age (7th where we are)they were not allowed to wear makeup to school. Now if you are willing to allow her to wear a more natural look like a light foundation nothing chunky and cakey like a light mineral powder with a light blusher maybe some natural palettes for eyes soft items, middle school is harsh on a teenage girl, maybe a clear or sheer light gloss nothing flashy and work with her on how its best worn. You don't want her going to school and allowing her friends to put some Gezibelle makeup on her!!!

I am 12 and I think your daughter should be allowed to wear mascara and eyeshadow.
Mascara- Its makes your lashes look full and it brings out your eyes more. If your not very comfortable with having her lashes that full then you might want to start her off with clear mascara until you feel comfortable with her wearing make-up.
Eyeshadow- Its fine unless you wear too much. I think you should start her off with a light color. (thats what my mom did.) My mom bought me that cheap eyeshadow so i would feel good with having some on and it wasnt too much. I would suggest like getting her some from places like Claires and limited two.
I hope you have found this useful! BTW: I think you are exactly right when you said that boys dont validate who you are. Make-up should make your daughter feel good and confident and you feel good about her feeling good about herself. :)

hello N., how are you? my youngest sister started wearing her makeup when she was 12 also. now she is 22. our mom didnt know what to do with her. because i didnt care for and still dont. how about just light mascara and how about light eyeshade? i dont think you are "UNREASONABLE". if your daughter is good in school and take care of things you ask. then i think, mom we have to change a little. my mother had. she fought for tooth and nail. but my sister wore the makeup and got her belly ring, nose ring, tattoo, before she turned 18. but she was good in shcool. and kept her grads good. i have 15teen months old daughter and i am freaking out with all the stuff in our society going on. good luck

I came across this onlin and im not a mom, (12 years old actually) but seriousley? Whats with all the comments here? Let your daughter be herself and where what knid of makeup she wants. Heres how I wear mine: Black eyeliner thick on top and thinnish or thick on bottems depending on the day, fun wild bright colors of eyeshadow or black or grey, pale foundation and powder... I prefer to dress how I want too so is there going to be a question as to how to make her dress? i wear skinny jeans everyday with kick a** t shirts... Hair? very strait and teased... Now let your daughter be herself... Thanks and no haters please

I don't see the problem if she starts with a pale eyeshadow and a really light brown mascara. With your help she will be sure to apply it properly and not do it behind your back at school and end up looking horrible. I personally don't think 6th graders should be going to school w 8th graders, it just makes them grow up too fast. But that's the way the school works, and unfortunately, our kids are going to want to do what the bigger kids at school are doing.

Hi, N.. If your daughter is very responsible and listens to you, you are doing well in my book! I would give her the chance to wear make-up, as long as she doesn't leave the house looking like a raccoon. You could even give her a few tricks, showing her how to apply it for her eye shape and showing her how less is more when it comes to makeup. If she abuses the privilege, then she has to wait for the time you decide she can try again. I do think it is great that you talk openly about boys and what makes a person special. The fact that it is what is inside and not outside is such an important thing for girls to learn, and we get no outside help with this from society, that is for sure! Good Luck!

I think you should let her. If she wants to express herself let her. I had the same problem just a few months ago. I think my daughter is beautiful without any makeup on, but sometimes (especially pre-teens) think differently. Usually adults notice all the good things but all they notice is the minor flaws. It makes them feel more beautiful. Don't let her wear too much. Maybe cover up, mascara, eyeshadow and just a little lipgloss. It makes them feel important.

I hope I helped. :D

My daughter is in 6th grade, but won't turn 12 until April. Most of her friends are already turning 12 and starting to wear make-up. My daughter is a beautiful girl, but I have let her start wearing a little bit of eye-shadow-pale pinks which look very natural. She also likes a little bit of color on her lips, which is also a natural color. She asked me the other day if she could try eyeliner, but I'm going to have to say no to that. I think she's too young and I don't want her to look too grown up. Maybe in a few years. She has girls in her class with boyfriends, but so far my daughter hasn't been too interested in having one herself. I discourage and certainly don't encourage that either. Luckily for me, our Elementary School includes 6th grade, and Middle School starts until 7th grade. It must be harder for you, since your daughter is already in Middle School and there are 7th and 8th girls as influences who are probably wearing make-up too. My son is in 8th grade and he changed so much when starting Middle School last year, it's a whole other world. I wish you luck with your daughter, she sounds like a good girl, so it shouldn't be a problem letting her start out with eyeshadow as long it's not too much.
Take care,

I think you should let your daughter wear makeup.
But make sure that you buy here natural color eyeshadow & maybe you can let her have a brown mascara.
Or the summer time
my daughter just puts on blush( light pinky color)
and some very natural eyeshadow.
If we are going out to eat she sometimes wears mascara.
But my 12 year old daughter is just like that.

DO NOT let her wear liquid foundation. It clogs the pores and it sometimes makes the skin look & feel oily.

At the age of 12 makeup is nothing my daughter shes turning 13 and shes had sex 4 times. Im fine with it un less its protected sex. She said that the first time it hurt which Im surprised she would share that with me I just laughed. The next time she had sex she said that it felt so good that she had never felt something like that before and they went first through oral sex to each other. I told her its a phase of a teen. And that I loved her. She said kids are doing it in school now which was weird to hear and I told her to go through a competition of who has sex more times I was being sarcastic but she went with it. She had sex 14 times it was funny at first but still very serious. I said its okay. But she had an abortion weeks later but I was okayy with it. If it gives her pleasure it gives me pleasure. I also went in her room one dayy and told her that having sex at a young age isnt good but she hit me so I grounded her. I locked her windows and doors. One dayy I came in And she was masterbading with her finger I heard her screaming from downstairs I wanted to know what happened. She had her finger deep in her vagina. I told her to not make so much noise that visitors were coming. After i LEFT SHE KEPT MOANING i SAID STOP !To be honest it kind of made me horny so when my husband came home we had some dirty hot sexyy sex for 2 hours. I was really tired , and so was the rest of the family having sex . So we went to sleep.

My point is let her wear makeup shes not too young and Im sure she thinks she isnt as well.

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