21 answers

12 Year Old "Bored" and Wants Video Games

Hi everyone,

Thanks for taking time to read my question. My son is 12, that's a handful by itself, I know. He is "bored"...bored at school, bored at home, bored in the car, bored at the park, bored at the pool...yadayadayada. No really, his plight is that he wants video games. His friends all have them. Well, he has a DS, Game boy Advance, computer time and I am not letting him "fill his time" with video games. Any advice? He has a 16 year old sister and a 7 year old brother. The sis is working PT at Ralphs, homework and work fill a lot of her time and bro loves crafts, playing school, none of his interests. The only way he seems happy is to have friends over or go to their house. Is it bad to let them get together so much?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thank you everyone for your advice. I should mention that he is in karate with younger brother twice a week and loves it. I think, like some have mentioned, he just doesn't know what to call it and calls it bored. He also mentioned last night he wants to go out, he doesn't like to be home alot. Maybe it's the new home thing, he wants to go outside of home. Well, he is doing well in school and doesn't have any "issues". In fact, he often goes to a bible study with his BF on Tuesday evenings. I guess I expect him to snot just "lay around" watching TV and playing video games. I think he probably IS fine and thank you all so much!!!!

Featured Answers

My 13 year old would spend most of his free time on video games if I let him. He's allowed to have them, and to buy his own (we OK the ratings, etc) but I do limit the amount of time per day her uses them. We also take them away when necessary. But, when his two best buddies come over, we occasionally let them have a marathon game session, because they're good kids, and that's what they enjoy. Set whatever limits you're comfortable with.

This is how boys socialize. My son is 15 years old now and has been doing the video thing with his friends since middle school.

More Answers

Welcome to California!
Well, at the risk of sounding all prim and proper, "bored" is a word that is not allowed in our house. It's also not up to ME to find something for these kids (or husband) to do. ***Climbing down from my high horse now***
That said, I know being twelve signals the onset of the deep teen malaise that sets in. Time can go by so slowly for some kids. I would definitely let him get together with his friends frequently, but also try to enforce some family time like at the pool and park and stuff. Sometimes you just have to buck up and entertain yourself.
Oh and another thing: boredom never killed anybody. I'm sure. I googled it.

Again-WELCOME to our fair state! :)

1 mom found this helpful

My 13 year old would spend most of his free time on video games if I let him. He's allowed to have them, and to buy his own (we OK the ratings, etc) but I do limit the amount of time per day her uses them. We also take them away when necessary. But, when his two best buddies come over, we occasionally let them have a marathon game session, because they're good kids, and that's what they enjoy. Set whatever limits you're comfortable with.

I think that it is fine to het together with friends but have you thought about doing and sports or anything for hime. Maybe if there is something that one of his friends does he will be more willing to try and then he can get some of the energy out.

I really like Danielle's idea.I wish alot more parents came up with that one. Imagine,how productive homework time could be? They'd jump on that soon as they hit the door.!If they smarted off...cut off the games. : ) I always check the rating on the games,to make sure there isn't alot of violence,but I have come to believe, that alot of the games the kids play now, are educational, and enhance their skills as far as problem solving. Alot of the games,have to do with figuring out how to get yourself out of a situation. I never thought I'd hear myself say that, but I've watched,and read,and I'm a believer now.best of luck to you K. and welcome to Sunny ..smoggy California

Bored kids easily can get into trouble, so take this as his warning to you. If he's bored with everything, then he's not being challenged. Kids who tend to be smarter than their peers are the ones who get "bored."

Make sure he has chores and helps out with family things. Give him important jobs and reward him for them.

What about sports? Guitar lessons? Something? What are his talents or interests. Surely, it can't be just video games and hanging out with friends....they are a distraction.

Sounds like this move was emotionally hard on him. Get him invloved with an organized acitvity, so there is some discipline, rather than waiting for him to get into trouble.

I'd say let him have his friends over as long as your home and can supervise, if their at your house there is no guessing as to what their up to you'll know first hand.
B. B.

Hi there, First off, get rid of all the video games. I understand them on the East Coast, where it's cold, but this is So. Cal, and there are a ton of outdoor options. Has your son tried sports of any kind? Martial arts? Re the friend thing, I think it's GREAT that he wants to have them at your house. Keep an open door policy, and a closed mouth reality. You'd be amazed what kids will say when they don't think you're listening. At this age, all they way is their friends, and I'd prefer they come to my house, than anywhere else!

Personally, I am anti-gaming system. What ever happened to going outside to play..like when we were kids. I think that you should find out what he is interested in by observing him, or by just asking. Getting him involved by joining a sports team, art class, or some kind of activity may fill his needs for entertainment. If that doesn't work, then maybe using the gaming system as a reward, rather than right, may work. He can earn "minutes of playing time" by doing homework, chores, playing outside, etc. Thus, he can use his earned minutes to play. This way, he is still playing the games, but he has to earn it, and you have more control over the situation.

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