11 Year Old with ADHD & ODD

Updated on March 09, 2010
S.M. asks from Rio Rancho, NM
7 answers

I have an 11 year old son with ADHD and Oppositional Deffiant Disorder. He is on medication for ADHD, but I am still having problems with him. He refuses to speak to a professional about it. He was in counseling before we moved here. I have tried to get him to make new friends, He refuses to talk to me about what is bothering him. He gets very angry and clenches his teeth and fists, starts to cry and yell at the same time. I am worried that he is going to hurt himself or someone else. He has already punched both my husband and I. Should I force him to see a Dr., and have him mad at me all the time, or should I try to control the outbursts on my own? The stress of the move and mixing 2 families has put me into counseling. What should I do?

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So What Happened?

My son is currently seeing a phsycolgist. We are working on a possible change in medication. Things are still bad, but I have hope that it will get better. Thank you all for your time and suggestions.

More Answers

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T.B.

answers from Norfolk on

My daughter is in the almost the same situation. I put her into girlscouts and that is helping a bit. Getting out with other girls her age is doing wonders for her and our relationship.

I would try to get him to talk to the new dr. Tell him that if he doesnt like him or her after a few visits that you will try to find someone that he approves of. This can be a difficult time for any child to handle. If the ADD meds arent working for him anymore, the dose may need to be adjusted or the medicine changed.

Good luck with this!

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P.F.

answers from Norfolk on

try to meet in the middle. ask to try this doc and see if it helps. it might be better for him if there are groups with children his age. it help to make him comfortable and not like being picked on. then on other day try to make it his day. this move cannot be easy for him either but it will get better

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M.L.

answers from Charlotte on

Hi S.,

There seems to be more to just his condition that seems to be going on, for example the move, a new dad, and a little sister. That is alot to deal with. I do recommend seeking counseling, because you can't handle all this by yourself. Have a family counseling session not just him alone. That way he knows that he is not alone in this. Also you may want to seek alternatives to treating his condition other than medication. My son was diagnosed with ADD when he was 6 years old, found out he inherited from his dad. It took me 4 years of trial and error to see what fit, during this time he was on medication. Finally, by the time he entered Middle school, I was able to take him off medication and changed his diet, he now is a healthy Junior in high school. He is an A, B student. Do seek out help and talk alot with him, ask him why he doesn't like counseling, Ask him to help you find a counselor. This way he is included in the process of getting help. Remember it is a family solution. Good Luck and Happy Holidays.

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C.N.

answers from Detroit on

My daughter too is 11yrs old with ADD/ADHD and she has overcome the ODD. YES...without a doubt you should have him in counseling. He will be mad at you for a while but, in the long run he will thank you for loving him enough that you "forced" him into seeing a professional about whats going on with him emotionally. Remember, at this age they are going through some major body, pyhsical, emotional changes that they have no idea whats happening to them and become mad at the world and when they have a condition as this they don't know how to process everything. I so understand what your going through. But, please trust me when I say YES, put him into counseling right away...it works. Coming from a mom who deals with these issues on a daily basis and knows that it works. I also have a son who is 13yrs old and he has bipolar disorder so I know how much counseling helps a person individually!

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S.

answers from Spartanburg on

Get him to a naturopathic doctor. Diet related issues impact both of those disorders to an uncontrollable point and you may just be able to adjust his diet and get results without making him go to counseling or having to take any more medicine. There are several studies that indicate ADD and ODD are directly related to diet and that many cases are controllable completely with diet alone and can avoid having to take the medications.

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N.R.

answers from St. Joseph on

This is my best advice for you. If you wait for treatment it will only get worse. And it is right what our moms and grandmas used to tell us it is only going to get worse before it gets better. He may hate you at first for making him go to a professional but in the long run he will get the help he needs before he hurts anyone including himself. If he does hurt himself or anyone else he can end up a ward of the state and you will have no say so about what happens to him. Hang in there and let me know if you need anything. My daughter has just about the same conditions.

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L.B.

answers from Norfolk on

It is never easy going to counseling, especially when your child balks at it (been there done that). However, if you can find a counselor that you are all comfortable with (and it may take a few trys)it will defiantly be beneficial. I know when we fianlly found a counselor (my daughter wasn't totally thrilled with her but we were very comfortable with her) the doctor helped my husband and I to deal with things in different ways we would not have thought of on our own. Also, at this age, the move is probably very h*** o* him also. Maybe you can find an activity he likes (sports, music, crafts, etc...) that you can enroll him in and he will meet others his age and have an additional outlet for his feelings through the activity.
Best of wishes to you and your family.
L.

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