February 19, 2007,
F.M. asks from Palmetto, FL on December 07, 2006
11 Year Old with a Anger Problem
i have a 11 yr old that since she has started going thru "changes" she has had a anger problem. she gets mad at the drop of a dime, and now she has flew off the handle and she hit her little sister? I don't know what to do? if you say the littlest thing she gets mad-starts crying-and screaming then goes to her room. I don't tollerate the hitting! does anyone have any suggestions or has anyone been through this? thanks
J.S. answers from Jacksonville on December 07, 2006
Well at least you have an excuse..(lol)..your daughter is going thru "changes" mine is not and you explain what is going on in my household. I am at my wits end with my 10 year old and do not even know why she acts up. She is a great helper when it comes to needing her but then she is exremely mean to her 3 year old sister and almost 2 year old brother...could it be jealousy from not getting all the attention? I tried to take once a week out just for her and she always wanted to take her friends, I was not for that, it was mom/daugther time. So that didn't work. I seem to be grounding her for months and months, literally one day she can be so hateful she ends up getting grounded for over a month...that didn't work as well either so now we have a chart for her, things needs to be done, attitude, ect...if she does good after everything is done she can go play... Maybe it could be her friends she hangs out with? I don't really know I just wanted to post and say I am going thru pretty much the same thing and hope you find any answers that may help.
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H.S. answers from Tallahassee on December 15, 2006
I sympathize with you, too! I also have 4 kids in the house two are 12 and 13. These are some tough years it seems like when they get through one stage there's another. So far they haven't hit their little sisters just each other. I think that it's something they all have to go through. There will be good times and bad. I know there are times when I would like to knock their heads around but you have to keep your cool and show them who the adult is. I wish I had some advice but all I have is hang in there. Sherish those rare moments when they are happy and don't put up with the hitting there has to be consequences for her behavior and she has to know that. If you ever need to blow off some steam just write me and I'll be glad to listen. Good Luck!
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A.H. answers from Sarasota on February 19, 2007
I know this is an older blog, but you described my 11 year old son to the T only his rages get worse each time they happen. He has been admitted to a psychiatric hospital 3 times in the last year and has since been diagnosed with ODD and Dysthymia. We also have a big history of bi-polar in my family. I am not saying this is her problem, but you may want to have her talk to a school counselor or even a church pastor to see if that helps at all.
D. answers from Tampa on December 08, 2006
This is a very tough time for them. Get her nutritional support, especially cacium and magnesium. This is a drink made with hot water can be purchased at a health food store. Dr. Lee of the infamous What Your Doctor's Don't tell you about menopause, suggests progesterone cream because the other hormones peak at this age. The best Cal-mag drink is called CALM by Peter Gilham and is reasonably priced. I do it twice a day.
It takes time for nutritional remedies to work, but they do work.
G.C. answers from Tampa on December 07, 2006
Can I ask when you say changes has your daughter started her menstrual cycle yet? I know before my daughter did she was terrible. You couldnt even ask her to do something without her getting angry and than she would cry. If she hasnt it could be almost PMS.
R.C. answers from Tampa on December 07, 2006
I wish I could help. I can't, I can only sympathize. I have a 12yr old same problem. One minute it's yelling and anger, the next it's tears and sobbing. I agree that hitting is unacceptable. My daughter has not started her menses yet I can only imagine what life will be like then. I sometimes wonder if I should invest in stock in midol I truly believe we will be going through alot of it if her emotions are this rocky now and she has yet to suffer PMS. Let me know if you figure out anything that works. Until then I'll keep sympathizing with you and consider stock. R.