I need help, my son had an emotional problem in school..he is crying a lot if he did not satisfy with the certain situation like, if there is a group game and they did not make it better, sometimes he argues a lot and nobody listening, some sort of things that he cannot accept and according to him is not fair..He is very good in academic I have no question at all, but in behavior things he is always BE below expectations..at home he is playing with his brother, but if there is some misunderstanding he can absorb it..but in school he is totally different kid i've known..
If he were younger, I would say that he was likely to outgrow it, but by 11 a child with below expectation social/emotional skills likely needs help learning very explicitly how he is expected to behave. I would seek professional help outside of the school setting. Start with his pediatrician. That way you can probably get services through health care. Otherwise look for public services.
My daughter has had help with coping skills. She is fine socially but when she is criticized for her art work, animation or music--all of which she taught herself--she really starts to put herself down. She is 16, 10th grade. She currently attends a "class" during the first half of her lunch/study hour that has a counselor available to talk to and help her learn how to handle things. She also has dealt with a bit of depression and self harm in the past.
My son had issues in 4th through middle school. It was more of a maturity problem. He no longer sees anyone but the social worker the school would see him a few times a week just to talk and help him handle things like rejection or how to handle his workload/organization etc.
I would see if there is a social worker available to speak to, not just a school counselor.
Based on my own experience with my children, with the outside world, there is more of a feeling of rejection because you KNOW the people at home love you no matter what but you are always seeking that acceptance outside.
Can he talk to his guidance counselor?
My 11yo grandson is on the spectrum and cries a lot when things don't go his way. He has difficulty in social situations. If your son lacks social skills and the trying to control and tears is just one of them, I suggest he needs extra help in learning social skills. Perhaps talk with the school counselor and/or his pediatrician.
This could also be a sign that he feels he has no control. Perhaps getting him in marshall arts would be helpful. Marshal arts is a structured activity that could help him feel more in control in a healthy way.
I suggest that having him evaluated by a child psychologist would be helpful. Has high functioning autism been considered? This could also be caused by feeling powerless or any number of issues. An evaluation could be helpful.
Has he been evaluated? Does he have an IEP for behavioral needs? First thing is is have him evaluated, as well as attend some kind of structured social setting with other kids.
Take your child to a counselor - a pediatric counselor. They will help you figure out if your child has a developement problem, if he's high functioning on the Aspergers spectrum, or if he's just going through a tough developmental stage.
this could be soemthing, or it could be nothing. It could be that someone in class makes him feel uncomfortable, or it could be that he is dealing with something personal. Has he lost a good friend, has there been a chagne in yoru family like a grandparent's death, a divorce, a job loss? Kids personalize things - if their friend's parents are going through a bitter divorce some kids may get fearful about their own family. If a bully at school was mean to him on the playground and then later got special treatment from the teacher on a completely unrelated thing if can make them fearful that the bully has power to harm them.
At age 11 his hormones may surge - and it's not just the hormones controlling puberty - but it's all hormones that surge att his age - so some kids become anxious, others get really shy. in 6th grade my daughter ate lunch in the bathroom stall - and I only learned this when she was already out of high school. She became super sensitive.
A counselor can help figure out what's going on.
I agree that he should be evaluated. Has he been IQ/tested for giftedness? gifted boys are notorious for delayed social/emotional developement, perfectionism, arguing, challenges with empathy, and other such things as you report above. individual and functional coping techniques need to be identified and implemented each and every time he has an episode. These are often difficult for a parent to provide. And the younger the better. It's a double edged sword but I believe God gives us the ones we're supposed to have. Enjoy him and reward him heavily when he makes progress or does something worth rewarding. :-) S.
