11 Year Old Boy with Eating Problems

This should have been addressed a long time ago. Now that he is 11 it will be harder to change. I would simply do as I so with my kids. I make lunch and dinner, and either they eat what is one their plate or they don't eat. The only foods I allow as "free foods" they can have anytime they are hungry is fruit. He will either start eating or he will starve. (and he won't let himself starve)

I agree that these foods need to disappear from the house, with only healthier options available. He may eat what you eat or not eat at all. As the mom of a picky eater, I can tell you that he won't starve himself. Be careful of him hoarding his fave food in his room.

Additionally, he needs to get moving. I'm not saying he needs to run a marathon tomorrow, but he needs to get moving. Family walks are a good place to start. A corollary to this is to severely limit tv/computer/electronics time. He needs to be outside moving around: basketball, bike riding, trampoline. Weeding or other yard work will work, too. Fifteen minute blocks are good...you can do anything for 15 minutes.

I'm sorry his parents recently divorced, but please don't let that be an excuse for continued poor habits. This is going to be a huge challenge and I wish you the best of luck.

I agree with Jen C.

I would make sure I had all acceptable foods in the house (none of the above). Do not even attempt to try to hide it.. I would avoid bread products unless they are whole wheat.

Make it pretty simple. I would hold off on casseroles.. But grilled chicken, green veggie, salad.. maybe some red potatoes with just salt and pepper, he can add butter or margarine.

Cook what you normally cook. He can eat or not.. It is his choice.

He will not starve himself..

Do not make it a big deal. He can sit at the table and either eat or not. Or he can go to his room until the meal is over.

It will take lots of strength to stick with this..

You and your mom can't help him (unless he lives with you) His mom is the one u have to help. An 11 yr old can ONLY eat what is put in front of him. Don't give him those things, don't have them in the house period and don't give in period. Obesity, high cholesterol, high blood pressure is on the rise in children at a catastrophic rate.... seriously! Take a chicken breast dip it in flour then in whipped up egg (dredge) then crushed up cornflakes and place in in the oven to bake. Comes out so crispy and healthy. If u would like other healthy ideas as far as meals message me. But it sounds like he needs a really good detox cleanse to rid his body of these toxins that are telling his brain that he can only eat those foods. (I know of a great one for kids) I can tell you know, that he will NOT starve himself if he can not have those foods. Only give him healthy choices. If he refuses then that is his choice and he will eventually eat it because that is all he has. Get him in the kitchen to help prepare the food so he can smell as he is cooking and get a REAL sense for food :(

This is a very sensitive topic for me, as my 3 1/2 year old has had feeding problems since birth due to medical issues. I haven't read all the responses because a few that I DID read got my blood boiling.

Some kids are just picky eaters, and others have medical issues that are driving their eating habits. He needs to be evaluated by a feeding specialist to determine what is behind all this. My son has a wonderful Occupational Therapist who is trained in the SOS (sequential oral sensory) program. This works with getting kids to explore different tastes/textures/colors/etc of foods. In my opinion, the WORST thing you can do is assume that he is just picky and try to force him to eat other things and refuse to give him the old stand-by's. This is what certain family members did with my son (behind my back and against my wishes!) and it made his problem exponentially worse. What they interpreted as stubbornness was actually an inability to chew food properly, and it resulted in my son gagging/choking every single time they tried to force-feed him. You can imagine how awful it would be to be forced to choose between choking/gagging or going hungry. I am still dealing with the fall-out every single day over 2 years later.

Anyway, it's not very likely that your nephew has the same issues that my son has--just pointing out that it's never safe to assume that someone is just a picky eater. Whatever it turns out to be, don't expect a quick fix. Kids learn at a very young age that they can control their food and the longer you wait to intervene, the harder it is to change habits. If he really is just set in his ways, I would recommend looking into cookbooks that sneak in servings of vegetables (Deceptively Delicious by Jessica Seinfeld is one). And whatever the approach turns out to be, consistency is key. Everyone needs to be on the same page, which can be difficult for parents to do--especially newly divorced parents.

Good luck!

It looks like everything he likes is in the same color family and similar soft texture. Does he have any other sensory issues? I would guess it is as much about the textures of food as anything else. Have they consulted his doctor about this problem? That might be the place to start.

Is not providing his favorites an option (as in not having them in the house at all)?
He might go on strike for awhile but it's not likely he'll starve himself to death.
Have some apple sauce, yogurt, salad. soup and vegetables on hand.
He can walk/hike/ride a bike/play golf/ take up taekwondo - not everyone likes team sports and limit his tv/computer/video game time.
If he's not on the couch, any moving around he does is good for him.
His parents have got to drive this.
As long as one or both of them gives in and provides his favorites, his eating habits are not going to change.
It's hard to believe they've let this gone on till he's 11.
They should have dealt with it when he was 4 or 5.

Some kids are picky eaters because they are sensitive to certain food textures. Not sure if that's the case for your nephew or not, but here's some information about it, jic.

http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/picky-eaters.html

If that is what is causing his pickyness, an occupational therapist can help.

Whether or not he is a picky eater because of sensory issues, it would be
a good idea to seek the help of a good nutritionist. They are really good at suggesting alternatives that he may accept.

Good luck! :)

This will take a lot of hard work, commitment and tough love.

As an Aunt/Grandma its impossible to have an influence on his eating habits if he is not in your full time care. He's learned to be picky and so he's going to be willing to hold out for the junk food he wants. If his mom really wants him to change she's going to have to provide healthy foods, and healthy foods only. No junk foods, no in between meal snacks. No liquid calories (juice, soda, milk), he needs to get nutrition from fruits, grains, veggies, etc... If his mom is not willing to do this (and put up with the huge fuss he's going to make about, since he's used to manipulating his way into the food he wants) and stick to her guns, then there's hope. But any faltering and he's going to break her. Kids use the, I won't eat if I can't have what I want, card all the time to scare their parents into feeding them what they want. As parents we can't give in to that manipulation. Provide a healthy meal and nothing in between. He will start to eat eventually. And even like it.

Best wishes!

This is very common among children with sensory aversions. My son (15 months) is in an inpatient feeding program for refusal of all solids. We have met many families with children here who only eat very specific things and that's it. I would suggest having him evaluated by a speech/feeding therapist to rule out any sensory issues. It's possible he's just a picky eater, but like another momma mentioned the foods he will eat are similar in texture/color/flavor. Good luck!

changing his diet of 11 years is alot to handle if he is still dealing with the grief and changes from a divorce. I think this needs to be tackled with the help of a therapist. The only things i can suggest to help him in a positive way is to play a sport with him, take swim classes together, or go hiking or something like that, Then give him $10 to plan a meal at the store but it can't be any of the safe foods, or he can have french toast if he has a new side dish to go with it, like applesauce.

I can't help noticing there is not one single fruit or vegetable mentioned.
No dairy for calcium or vitamin D.
There is no vitamin C in anything he eats.
I'm wondering why he will ONLY eat these things.

He needs a larger variety of foods. The mountain dew? Oh yuck. There is nothing nutritional about that.
He might have more energy if he had a better diet.
I don't know how you can help him other than to introduce other foods, but if his parents don't also do that, I don't know what to say.
This diet is not healthy.

Best wishes.

Sounds like he is on a bad road and you are such a thoughtful auntie to try to help him. If he truely will not eat anything else...maybe ALL those things need to be eliminated. If you try to offer some good things in between all the junk...he will still eat the junk. Most kids have SOME eating wierdness, being picky etc. If the junk isn't offered, he can't eat it...if he won't eat what he is given, he will when he gets hungry enough. Eating disorders are sometimes caused by the fact that the person owning the disorder has no control over anything in their lives EXCEPT what they eat...then they use that to control others Complicated at best. Maybe he needs some counseling about control issues and nutrition. You have a big job ahead of you, both of those issues are huge. Hope this helps!

You've received lots of good info.

Once you rule out (hopefully) any sensory issues, then I agree with Marta W.

My nephew is autistic and only ate very starchy carbs like your nephew, about 10 items and thats it.

If your nephew does NOT have a medical reason, then get the parents a helpful book on nutrition for children. If she won't listen to you, maybe she will listen to an expert. The parents need to understand how bad this is for the boy's health.

Have the parents watch those shows by Jaime Oliver or see if he has a book out. He's the British guy who has that show "Food Revolution" where his goal is to get the bad food out of our kids schools.

My husband has hereditary cholesterol issues. Just had a quadruple bypass at the age of 39 (he is thin, otherwise very healthy). The cardiologist said this will become more and more common b/c of all the overweight children he sees and all the garbage they eat. Kids are getting physicals for high school and their cholesterol levels are terrible.

You are a good aunt for caring. Do what you can, I wouldn't want to see that boy having health issues b/c of something as controllable as a diet.

They need to talk to a pediatrician and a nutritionist WITH him present. This needs to be dealt with right away because if he is upset about the divorce, it could make matters worse.

How about not indulging him. This had to start somewhere- whoever was raising him. Stop catering to his unhealthy eating- he may go without a few meals standing his ground but he won't starve himself. Does he drive himself to McDonald's? I'm sorry but this is the fault of whoever raised him. No excuses- I wish him luck. Get him in martial arts if financially possible - some sort of sport is needed and this will help his physical and mental health. Regardless if he protests! Help this child now-

One of my neices will only eat very limited foods. The poor thing looks like she is about 7yrs old when she is actually 12. She is under close Dr. care and takes alot of vitamins and minerals. She has a disorder to where the textures of food gag her. There is only a small handful of things she can eat with out gaging/ throwing up. If you try to force her to eat something she will honestly gag until she throws up. It took them YEARS to find someone who actually found what was wrong with her.

Have him see a specialist. I know my brother and sis in law only found 4 in the country qualified to treat her. Thankfully with my brothers Air Force carrier they will only station him where she can be treated. England had that best, when it was time to come "home" he was stationed in Georgia near one of the specialist.

Have not read all the other responses....

For a start, try sneaking in some tiny cut or shredded veges in the corn muffins. :)

If he's THAT limited I'd have him THOROUGHLY evaluated for sensory and psychological issues. Otherwise I TRY to live up to these 10 commandments for parents- http://babyfit.sparkpeople.com/articles.asp?id=549

I agree with the ladies that mention sensory issues. My son has a typical autism and ate 4 different foods. With the help of a therapist and also a sparked interest in cooking, he's becoming far more flexible and is eating more foods. I've sat in on the sessions and learned how to work with my son. It's taken time, but well worth it.

I'll be more than happy to tell you some strategies that worked for us. Just drop me a note.

Ughh, he sounds like my nephews! Are his parents picky, as well? Both my brother and sister in law are picky eaters. Their two older kids have always been extremely picky. The youngest started out with more of an open mind but, growing up and seeing what everyone else ate, narrowed his scope of acceptable foods. Admittedly, my nephews are not quite as limited as yours but ever so close! My kids always started out very open to different flavors but then got pickier as they got older. We never stopped offering the newly unacceptable foods, however. I think unless his parents are eating other options and these foods become few and far between in his diet there is little hope this will change. (Though I was an extremely picky eater as a kid and became very adventurous as an adult. Maybe because I didn't have parents cottling me anymore! As far as the mountain dew goes, that should also become few and far between. (I think it's unreasonable to expect kids to cut it out completely at that age, though I think it's gross and terrible for you, personally.)
A good point to bring up is that the cottling habit is very hard to break once a divorce occurs, but it's actually a very good time to start up new and better habits. I have a friend who recently went through a divorce (very ugly and one that won't leave her alone) and ended a terrible and unhealthy dynamic in her household for the sake of her kids (though, with her 12yo it was hard for her to grasp that completely) and they've made some really great changes in their relationships with each other as well as just healthier habits and becoming more responsible for themselves.
Good luck and I hope something works for the sake of your nephew's health!

I just finished reading this great book about child nutrition and there is a case similar to your nephew's. It is written by a nutritionist the name of the book is called "What is eating your child". I found the whole book fascinating and I learned a lot. I wonder if he has sensory issues related to food or if he wasn't taught at an early age to eat the correct foods in his diet. You don't mention his age but I think the younger for intervention of any kind the better. Good luck!