11 answers

11 Year Old Allowance and Chores

I will have an 11 year old daughter in a few days and was wondering what are appropriate chores? She's an only child and a very helpful one at that. She currently helps by folding clothes, sweeping the kitchen/bathroom, feeding the cat/changing litter, cleaning her room and washing dishes (I'm considering taking this back). I know this is a lot of things that she does, but she's not doing these every day. How many chores are too much? Is the appropriate amount?
Now my next question... How much allowance should she get? I'm considering if her chores are done, school work/homework kept up, and attitude. Currently we buy her the things she wants (if priced reasonably) and occasionally will give her a few dollars if she wants something on her own.
I want her to be in charge of her own money and I'm open to all suggestions.
THANK YOU

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thank you all for the suggestions and info about how things work in your homes. I think one thing I have to do is have a talk with my daughter about what SHE wants to do. After all the suggestions, I'm thinking $1 a day if all things are done. I could possibly give her an option of doing extra work (possibly helping other family members with their "chores") to get extra money (possibly during weekends). I know there are many things that she wants and will have to save up for on her own. I also really like the suggestion of her saving up to 1/2 of her amount to put in a savings account. We currently have an account set up that both me and my husband put in for her.
There's a lot of helpful information that you all gave me and I thank you all very much!

More Answers

Hi FP,

You are going to get a zillion different answers - so you will have the luxury of picking what you like out of each of response.

here is what I do - I have a 10 year old daughter.

She doesn't get an 'allowance', per say. Anything that has to do with HER she is responsible for doing (clearning her own plate, picking up her stuff, cleaning her room, getting good grades etc)- I refer to that as the price of admission to the planet - welcome aboard!

Anything that I (or my mother - we all live together) need her to do to help us, she does and she does not get paid for that (ie help make dinner, help set/clear the table, help me fold clothes, help me unload the dishwasher etc). That is simply what family does to be helpful to each other - like we help her with homework, piano etc.

I have posted some 'work' for her to do on the refrigerator. just like in real life she can chose to do this work if she wants. If she does it - she gets paid a specified amount. I am her 'employer' for the work and so I inspect her work and if she has done a good job she 'earns' her money. If she doesn't do a good job (spots on the mirror, dust in the corner of the stairs) then she has to re-do the job until it is done correctly in order to 'earn' her money.

The money has to be split into 3 'banks' - hers, saving and helping (tithing/giving/whatever you call it). 10% minimum to saving and helping.

She has the ability to get the following amounts of money weekly:
$5 - clean the bathroom (this means really clean it. at 10 yrs old, I don't have to go behind her and do ANYTHING after she is there. the toilet, empty the trash, wipe mirrors, sweep and mop floor, clean shower etc).
We have 2 bathrooms that she can clean on the weekend so she could earn $5 for each.
$1 - mop the hallway from the backdoor to the kitchen as well as the front foyer
$1 - sweep and then hand wipe with wood cleaner the stairs going to the basement.
$1 - mop the basement tile floor
$1 - sweep the leaves / shovel the snow off the path in the backyard (seasonally - but as needed)

So basically she could earn up to $13 each week if she did everything on the list (more in the fall/winter). I don't let her start the list until all of HER stuff is done. Homework must be done. Her room must be picked up. Piano must have been practiced etc.

I pay for clothing, extra-curricular activities, food and admission to anywhere I am going I take her (ie movies etc). There have been times when we were clothes shopping and she wanted an extra shirt (I always tell her the budget I have set ahead of time, then she makes decisions about what she gets) and she will have to pay for it if it is over budget.
If we are going on vacation I will give her a pre-set amount (usually $20) spending money - if she wants to spend more than that she has to use her own money.
She wants a DSXL so she is saving every penny and asking for extra 'work' to earn it more quickly. I am coming up with things for her to so that she can earn money.

As far as what is too much? I think it depends. For me - school comes first. Being responsbile for herself comes second and then it's whatever SHE wants to do to earn money. I think giving her the ability to regulate the amount of work she does and therefore the amount of money she 'earns' teaches her self-motivation.

Good Luck,
B.

2 moms found this helpful

I agree with Breanna M. That is basically how things are set up in our house too. There are things you do to clean up after yourself to be a repsonsible human being, things that you do to contribute to the running of the household, then if all that is done, you have the opportunity to earn extra money with other chores.

2 moms found this helpful

NO allowance for helping in the house. THis is a family we all pitch in.
I give my kids days to do certain chores.
One day is cat day and all cat duties
There is a dog day and a kitchen day.
On cat day Saturday they clean the cat laundry room, the upper hall, and the downstairs bathroom.
Dog day get the poopies outside, the foyer, dining room and the piano room.
Kitchen day is the kitchen, the breakfast nook and the tv room.
They dust, pick up, vacuum, wash windows, clean toilets, mirrors, sweep floors, change cat litter, wipe sinks, dishes, mop floors.
I have a control journal, see Flylady.net, they know now what they are to do in each room.
They also can cook, and do laundry, mow and weed eat. Mine are 9, 12 and 15.

2 moms found this helpful

How do you feel about allowances in general? There are different schools of thought on it. Some parents feel an allowance is given for doing certain chores around the house. Others feel that an allowance is "given" money, with no strings attached, so a child can learn how to manage money.

It sounds to me as if you will have a gem of a daughter! It is reasonable for any child to keep his/her room in order and to do age-appropriate chores, and the ones you mention sound appropriate.

Why don't you ask her what she thinks? Perhaps she'll have some ideas. You both could work out a chore list that seems reasonable. If you go with the "given money" allowance concept, then that money is for her, and she does the chores as her free contribution to keeping her own home running smoothly. Other jobs you give her could be paying jobs, though.

On the other hand, if you go with the "payment for chores completed" idea, then she tracks her work done on a chart and you pay her for it once a week. Any other chores might also be pay-negotiable. (In an emergency, everybody helps as they can, and there's no money involved!)

My granddaughters (who are a little younger than your girl) love the Dave Ramsay books for children about managing money. You might look into those, and also see what else is available. It's great to teach children when they're young how to save, how to give, and how to spend wisely (we're all good at spending unwisely!).

P.S. I'd be cautious about tying attitude into all this. That's very subjective. Can you figure out how to handle future attitude problems another way?

1 mom found this helpful

My husband and I sat down and created a chore list for our children. We have 5 kids, two 17 year old boys, 14 year old boy, 13 year old girl, and a 6 year old boy. All of them but the 6 year old has a day for dishes, they all have certain rooms to vacuum, take turns cleaning the bathrooms every week or more if needed, all of them help take care of the dogs (feeding, fresh water, picking up dog poo) and all of them help clean our turtle tank every week. The 17 yr olds also take turns mowing the lawn every week. They are all also expected to keep their rooms tidy and homework done. The chore list gives them times the chores have to be done every day and they know if they want to hang out with their friends that they finish their chores and show us finished homework. The 17 yr olds and the 13 yr old do their own laundry as well. The 14 yr old doesn't because he is autistic and not ready to learn laundry yet.
As for allowance, I'm not sure. We have never done allowance but we do try to buy what the kids want provided it's reasonable.

1 mom found this helpful

I would say that what you have is appropriate. I would add (unless she already does this) helping set and clear the table as well as helping make meals. At 11, kids need to start learning how to cook (with help of course). They can make salads, help saute things, etc. My daughter sautes her own shrimp, helps make salad, measures ingredients for me as well as helps assemble casseroles, etc. It's a great lifelong skill for kids to learn. I guess I wouldn't consider it a chore, but something you do to help out the family and learn skills along the way. Have fun with it. Sorry I can't comment on allowances, we don't do those.

1 mom found this helpful

It sounds like you have an appropriate amount. Our son is 9 and he has make the bed, clean up room at the end of the day, feed the dog once per day, brush the dog, homework and sometimes he helps Dad with outdoor chores. I think a few chores around the house as they get older is appropriate to teach responsilbility, but it should not interfer with them completing their school responsiblitites and they should have time for things they want to do on their own. For allowance, we give 1/2of their age and out of that, they put 1/2 of that into a savings jar and 1/2 into their wallet to buy things they want. Once every few months, we visit the bank and they deposit their savings jar. This is money that is for college. They are learning the importance of saving and that college is a goal. I have watched them learn how to save money in their wallet when they want a toy in the store that costs a lot of money. they get their allowance no matter what. They don't get priveledges (video games, watching T.V. freeplay) unless their chores/homework are done.

1 mom found this helpful

No allowances at our house...it's being part of the family and making it work. The kids do bank half of any money they get for working for others (babysit, VBS counselor) or at birthdays/holidays and the other half they are taught to spend wisely. They both are over 97 average students and do get MOST of what they would like .

1 mom found this helpful

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