20 answers

11 Months and Still Sooo Fussy!!!

Hello all, My son is now 11 months old and he is still so fussy. I am not sure what to do. He doesn't sleep well at night, he still is nursing at least twice a night, sometimes up to 4 or 5, and fussy. He sleeps with me, I am working on that, but I am finding that I don't even wake up fully anymore when I get him from the crib, I sleep walk for the first time in my life!!! I don't even know when he comes to bed!! I am so tired!!! He doesn't like to take naps, most days only one, and he wants to be held so much. He is very active, almost walking, but chases me around the house while I do chores and fusses after me!!! I know part of it is teething and from being tired but even when he is happy his mood can change and he'll be a little fuss bucket all over again. I don't get it. Is there anyone that can advise me on this or that has, is, in my shoes?? Thank you~~ Sleepy Mama

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Thank you all for your advice. It is really nice to know that I am not alone. I have worked hard to make sure he gets 2 naps each day and he puts himself to sleep after nursing for the naps. Night time is still a battle. I know that it will work itself out. We are looking into getting a larger home so he will be in his own room. That I think will help with my sleep walking. I hope!! I have tried really hard to sit with each of the kids when they are seeming more needy and give them my undivided attention. That seems to help with the following me around and fussing at me. I also put him in the back carrier when I do more demanding chores. He loves it. I am also offering snacks more frequently and listening more intently to the type of cry or fuss he is doing. Sometimes all it takes is a time out to listen and learn. Thank you everyone again. God Bless and take care of your little ones.

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I am having the same problem with my 12 mo. old daughter. I feel for you and am looking forward to reading the responses. Good luck, you are not alone!

He should be sleeping though the night at this age. He should not still be taking feeds at night. I would stop feeding at night. He will protest at first, but give it a few nights, and he will get over it, and start sleeping better, so you can sleep as well.

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My guess is that your son is sleep deprived. My son was a horrible sleeper until he was 11 months old, getting up sometimes 5-10 times per night, wanting to nurse. I had been opposed to letting him cry up until then, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

The first night he cried for about 20 minutes, and only woke up a couple of times. The second night he cried for about 5 minutes, and slept pretty well. The third night he was asleep by the time I got to the bottom of the stairs, and he slept through the night for the first time ever! I remember laughing hysterically when I realized he'd only cried for about 5 seconds the third night.

Sometimes we have to let kids figure things out for themselves, while giving them a nudge in the right direction. Your son is old enough now to understand a lot of what you say, so I'd explain to him that he needs to put himself to sleep tonight, that you love him, and you'll be right outside, but once he's in his crib you're not going to come back in until morning. It'll be hard for a few nights, but ultimately you'll be doing him a favor, as it sounds like he hasn't learned to sleep well yet.

I'll bet you'll have a much happier baby during the days once he starts getting enough sleep at night.

3 moms found this helpful

Try a sling. That way, you can get things done while he gets to be held. It's not a second child thing. Kids are just different. He should still be taking naps. Try putting him to bed about 20-30 minutes earlier at night. He might not be getting enough sleep.

My youngest is 12.5 months and she sleeps 12 hours at night and two naps during the day totalling 3 hours.

2 moms found this helpful

He's most likely fussy because he's not getting enough sleep. Get the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, by Marc Weissbluth MD and skip to the part for his age group. You can read the rest later (and I recommend that you do so to understand why he makes the recommendations that he does).

I would institute some tough love and CIO at this point. In fact, I would have done it months ago. Unless there is a medical reason why he is fussy (and I assume you've had that checked out), you need to put a stop to this now. You're setting up his sleep habits for the rest of his life at this point, so he needs sleep training. You also need rest.

2 moms found this helpful

My daughter is 18 months, sleeps with us (has from day one), and still nurses at night (anywhere from 3-6 times). She, however, is not fussy. When teeth are coming in, yes, but otherwise, a very happy girl. One thing that can help if he is needing to be close to you, but you need to get stuff done, is wearing him in a carrier. Babies that are carried in a sling cry 43% less than babies who aren't. If you are interested in trying that, there are different carriers you can try out before buying. Check out www.nwbabywearers.org. They are a local support group who have libraries of carriers and really knowledgeable leaders who can help you find the right one for you and your baby. I know when they go through growth spurts and are teething, they need more attention than usual. Keep on nursing, that helps in of itself.
At night, I use Hyland's teething tablets and even their kids Calms Forte. That helps sometimes, too.
If you need more immediate help finding a carrier, I live in Hillsboro and have about 15 carriers that you are more than welcome to come and try. :) It really helps when they want to be held constantly. :)
I do have a question: when he starts off in bed with you, are you still as tired, and does he wake up just as fussy as when he starts in his crib? I'm very supportive of bed sharing, but if you are a heavy sleeper, like to the point of sleep walking, you might want to put a barrier between you in bed to be safer.
Anyways, if you would like to talk to someone who is supportive of co-sleeping and breastfeeding, drop me a line. You're doing great. It will get better.
Peace,
E. :)

ps. Just to add to those who say babies should be sleeping through the night at this phase: Um, NO. Most babies don't sleep through the night until about 2 years old, when they are done teething. A great majority of moms who get their kids to sleep through the night earlier than that are either a.) blessed with great sleepers; or b.) have done plenty of Crying It Out (which has been proven emotionally detrimental in many studies). My point: don't feel like he is lagging, or you doing something wrong if he isn't sleeping through the night yet.

1 mom found this helpful

I've been there. I lived through it with my daughter. I remember when I couldn't even take a shower by myself. It was really sad. And finally I had to lock myself in the bathroom all by myself to get some breathing room. But she wouldn't do this when anybody else was around. I once had to carry her through the store like a rolled up carpet in my arms. She was kicking and screaming. Sometimes when my husband was out of town I cooked dinner with her in a backpack.

I tell you all these things to let you know that you can live through the tough times. I finally figured out that my daughter spent alot of time screaming and kicking because her mind was ahead of her body. And she did all physical skills early.

Finally, at five when she enter a Montessori school she began to calm down. Eventually we discovered she was a gifted child. In high school in addition to the gifted curriculum, she was in swimming and gymnastics. We had none of the typical teenage troubles because she was so busy with home work and so exhausted with the sports (in bed at (9:00) that she had no energy.

Oh, I did do preschool swimming, and soccer.

And now she is still a very strong willed, determined, successful woman. She gets what she wants. I am amazed.

I recommend activities to wear him out and to focus his attention. Swimming will soon be appropriate.

Also let him cry for five minutes before you feed him at night. Maybe he will go back to sleep.

1 mom found this helpful

My niece was very similar to this. She is still very fussy and about to turn a year. One thing I know my sister did was start feeding her more regular meals to ensure she is full before bed. She does better sleeping on a full tummy now, I am sure this is something you do but just in case not I thought I would suggest it. Also with my own children (who sometimes both sleep with me) I have found a nice warm southing bath with the lavander and chamomile bath wash really helps, my daughter just turned a year and if I give her the bath and a little lotion massage and try to relax her that seems to make a big difference. I have gotten her in to a night time routine of the bath then the massage and then a bottle and a book the nighty night. Sometimes it works better than others but the repetativness of it lets her know what is coming next. Good luck I know how it feels to never sleep. Just remembver it will get better. :)

1 mom found this helpful

C.,

It sounds like your little guy is trying to tell you that he needs your attention throughout the day. My 16 month old daughter has times of day where she is my barnacle and will be the Sharpie Baby (commercial) if I try to get rid of her. When this happens I either put the chores on hold that I'm trying to do, or stick her in a Baby Bjorn type carrier, and keep on trucking. Usually we sit on the couch and cuddle until she's ready to get down and do her thing again. My daughter is still extremely clingy to me, but we also spend all day everyday together.

Sharpie Baby commercial: Mom has a little boy that is about 18 months old sitting on her hip. She tries to set him down and he screams as soon as is toes hit the floor. She picks him up and he stops. Repeat twice more. Mom shakes her head and labels lunchbags and backpacks with baby on her hip.

It's a commercial for the Sharpie Retractable Pen. My hubby and I find it amusing because my daughter is the same way so very often.

Hope this somehow helps,
M.

1 mom found this helpful

Sounds so much like my firstborn. Things I found helped:
* sling ("needed" to be held from day 1 -- nurses noticed it)
* schedule/routine (I could set a clock by him in my tummy!)
* sharing sleep (I didn't want to hurt either one of us by running into walls in my sleep. Sharing a bed with your nursing child can't be too bad ... after all, God didn't invent cribs!) :)
* eliminated milk from my diet (have you thought about possible allergies for your little guy?)
* outside at least 10 minutes every day (or I could guarantee crabbiness by dinnertime)
* Tylenol at night (knocks them out -- my guy teethed miserably from 3 - 12 months)
* no TV ("brain fried" cranky the rest of the day if he was exposed to even 1 hour of TV)
I hope some of this helps. Sounds like you are doing a great job!
C.

1 mom found this helpful

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