July 08, 2010,
A.R. asks from San Angelo, TX on June 12, 2008
11 Month Old Won't Sleep Through the Night
I have an 11 month old baby boy who will not sleep through the night. I have a 4 year old daughter who started sleeping through the night by 4 months. I have tried everything, and I am at my wits end. I haven't had a good nights sleep in a really long time. He is a happy, healthly big boy, and I don't have any other problems with him. He slept in a bassinet for about 2 months, and then we began transitioning him to his crib. He never slept in our bed. He wakes up crying every night. I have tried to let him cry himself back to sleep, but he gets to just wailing so that I am afraid that it will wake my daughter. When I go pick him up, he snuggles up on my chest like he is tired. I sit with him until he goes back to sleep which doesn't usually take more than 30 minutes. He wakes up at least once a night, and sometimes more than that. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
K.K. answers from Killeen on June 12, 2008
Honestly at 11 months I would let him cry it out. Even if he wakes your daughter, it will only be for a couple of nights tops, versus your not getting enough sleep any night...
As a mom, while the crying is nerve wracking (believe me I KNOW, i have some very stubborn children) you can tell the difference between when he is mad, needs something like a diaper change or is hurt/scared...
As he gets used to soothing himself to sleep you should pay attention to the type of crying he does when he wakes up. If it's just the habitual come get me I want love and comfort, then let him cry it out. If he seems hurt/scared go to him and comfort him, but not till he is asleep. Let him know he is okay and that mommy and daddy can hear him and won't let anything happen, then put him back to bed to go to sleep. If he cries it out then it should be relatively short and the cry should just be the I want to be held comforted cry instead of I am hurt/scared cry. If he is crying to be changed change him and put him back to bed.
Some babies do not like the feel of a went/poopy diaper so much that it will wake them up, change him and put him back down. Don't talk to him during the change or do anything to make him think it's time to do anything more than be changed and put back down. he shouldn't fidget or cry more than a few moments and go back to sleep.
If this seems to harsh/cruel to your way of thinking I understand. I thought so to, until I realized that I could not be the best mom to my babies unless I got enough sleep too. My husband would cuddle me while I silently criend listening to them cry it out, but it didn't take too terribly long for them to soothe themselves to sleep.
Good Luck ;-)
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A.N. answers from Austin on June 13, 2008
Not all children are the same. Do you know that there are many children that do not sleep through the night until they are 3-5 years old? I too had two children that were sleeping through the night by age 4 months. Then we had our third son and he is 2 yrs. and still wakes every couple of hours - can you imagine that??!! With children that are out of the norm, you must learn patience and acceptance - that is what they teach you.
Clearly your son loves it when you hold him - he just still needs your help in the night. What is wrong with that? Yes, you are tired, but know A., that you will someday get your sleep - this won't go on forever. He needs you right now and this is your job as a parent - you know that. Teach him that you will help him and he will then help himself when he can.
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J.G. answers from Houston on June 15, 2008
Let him cry. Neither of my kids would sleep thru the night. I asked the doctor what to do with my first. He told me to put him in a separate room and let him cry. He said it should last between 30 min to 1 hr for 2 to 3 nights. He explained that babies like adults wake up in the middle of the night. Adults lay back down and go to sleep. Babies need to learn this behavior. If you continue to get up he will continue to cry because he is getting the desired response. I know it is hard but it is not only in your best interest but it is what is best for him. It only took 2 nights and 30 minutes of crying each night. Sometimes it takes longer but you have to stick with it.
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D.S. answers from Houston on June 13, 2008
Get the No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers by Elizabeth Pantley. BEST BOOK EVER dealing with toddler night issues. You will have a full night's rest in 1 week. I swear by these books!
S.V. answers from Houston on June 12, 2008
A couple of things.
It could just be that he needs you for some reason...maybe bad dreams...or he's a little hungry---do you give him a bottle at bedtime? Maybe try a little rice cereal in it, that's the only way our daughter started sleeping through the night.
Also, it could be his tummy, just like our daughter. Try some Gripe Juice in his milk....it'll ease him enough to go to sleep and stay sleeping.
I don't recommend crying it out...I believe it just tells your baby that you're not there when he needs you. Cranky crying is one thing, but constant wailing is another---he needs you.
J.V. answers from Houston on June 13, 2008
some kids just don't sleep thru the nite as early as others. my oldest was 2 1/2 before he slept all nite. my daughter is 2 years younger, and she slept thru the nite before he did.
C.E. answers from Dallas on June 13, 2008
In the book "The No Cry Sleep Solution" it mentions that about 1 out of 3 toddlers need a parent to put them back to sleep at least once a night. I can completely relate to what you are saying!!!
M.C. answers from Houston on June 13, 2008
Hi A., I have a 5 year old daughter and 2 year old son. My daughter would wake up 3 or 4 nights a week every week until she was 4 years old. When I finally decided I had to stop going in there everytime she made a peep, she would cry sometimes for over an hour before going back to sleep. The reason is because I rocked her to sleep every night and every time she woke up at night I would go rock her or lay with her until she went back to sleep. If your kids share a room I'm not sure what to tell you but if not you should close their doors and let him wail. Of course you need to make sure he doesn't need changing, feeding, no fever, etc. but if everything is fine don't give in! It took 2 or 3 nights but now my son sleeps all night 95% of the time and we all are much happier. I don't know about your daughter but mine sleeps like a log once she's out. I was worried my son would wake my daughter when he started his wailing at night but I wasn't about to go through another 4 years of no sleep. Different things work for different kids but usually these are tantrums in the middle of the night because they want mommy and mommy gives in because she's tired and it's easy. Trust me, you both will be better off if he learns to put himself back to sleep now than if you wait...it will only get harder. Good luck!