T.G. asks from Marietta, GA on November 03, 2008
11 Month Old Waking in the Night
So, I went back and read previous posts and responses to sleep questions and I still have questions! I am a 38 year old first time Mom to a fabulous 11 month old. She is the happiest baby during the day laughing a lot, playing, she rarely cries, she takes 2 45 min-1.5 hour naps during the day. I am going to say right off the bat, I don't believe in the cry it out theory. My nightime routine is I feed her (solid foods), give her a bath, read her a story, give her 7-9 oz of formula. Sometimes she falls right to sleep, sometimes I top her off with a bit of breast feeding. She usually has no problem falling asleep. She does still sleep with me as my husband is a light sleeper and mostly sleeps in the guest room knowing that this is just temporary. She goes to sleep usually with no problem, but she is still waking up 3-4 times a night and she wakes up crying. I try to rub her back, shhhush her, sing to her... anything to try to get her back to sleep without nursing her, but the only way to get her back to sleep is to feed her. Sometimes I use a bottle with formula, but most of the time I breast feed her. I cant imagine how she could be hungry because her belly should be full from dinner and the bottle and breastfeeding. I have her sleep with me partly because I love it knowing she is this precious age for just a short amount of time but also, I work full time and quite frankly, it is easier to tend to her when I can just roll over to her rather than get up and go to her room. My husband is frustrated because he thinks we are not training her well. I really don't understand why she still gets up so much during the night. I plan on nursing until she is 1 - so only one more month and then we are going to try for baby number 2. We would love to get her back in her crib AND have her sleep all the way through the night. Any suggestions?
C.C. answers from Macon on November 04, 2008
Unfortunatly, my advise, from my experience, is that she will probably sleep better in her bed! I have exclusivly breastfeed my son, 12 months, he regularly falls asleep when I feed him. When he was younger we also tried co-sleeping and I found that he woke up 2 to 3 times as much! In the last couple months I have found that he really isn't hungry, he just hasn't yet learned how to fall asleep on his own. As adults we wake (generally not enough to remember) we roll over, adjust the pillow and blanket and snore some more! These little ones can't do all that! Just rolling over is still a feat for them. I have found with mine (I don't cry it out either!) if I go in, roll him over if needed - he's a tummy sleeper, and pat his behind, he is usually a sleep within a few pats. I give him a few wimpers/crys just because I found that he IS learning to fall asleep on his own. When I first started this, it took a little longer and a little firmer pat. I don't have a book or website to recommend... I just try differnt things and see what works.
E.M. answers from Atlanta on November 03, 2008
C.J. answers from Savannah on November 04, 2008
My daughter woke up hungry until she was about a year and a half. Just remember that this time IS fleeting and one morning you will wake up and realize you only fed her once in the night or none at all and it will just go from there. I kinda miss those middle of the night feedings. Since you work full time maybe she is waking up to spend a little extra time with you. Get that extra Mommy fix!!!
B. answers from Augusta on November 03, 2008
Honestly she is most likely hungry. remember her little someach is only as big as her fist. You could try feeding her again before you go to bed. you can also pick up elizabeth pantleys book, the no cry sleep solution.
C.B. answers from Columbus on November 03, 2008
I have nothing to offer that I am sure you haven't heard or researched already. Only that I understand and in time things will improve.
I am a mommy of 4 and have coslept and breastfed them all. They all were very different and most of the time the things I tried were just busy work. They fell into better sleep patterns in their own time.
Keep up the good work T.!!
C.C. answers from Columbia on November 04, 2008
I know that every child is different but my daughter was up every 2 hours for a bottle no matter how well she ate before going to bed. She gradually went up to 3 hours or 3 1/2 but still I had to give her a bottle. It is normal for a baby to wake up several times during the night for a bottle. Some babies will go all night...the parents to those are very lucky.
You have to remember that they are developing a lot right now and so, they want to eat all the time. It's tiring but, that's just the way it is.
I know you don't want to hear this but your child should not be sleeping with you because it is a very bad habit and is extremely hard to break! Been there and done that.
S.M. answers from Atlanta on November 04, 2008
Kellymom is a great website that has a lot of good advice
about helping infants to sleep gently. They have some excepts from a book by Elizabeth Pantley called "The no-Cry Sleep Solution" - that's a good one that offers TONS of suggestions, none of which involve leaving your baby to cry alone in the dark.
And here's some reassuring information on "normal sleep patterns" of infants. (Basically, there *is* no normal).
"Probably one of the main reasons that babies who don't sleep through the night are such a big issue is that parents don't have realistic expectations of the sleep patterns of babies. "
I went through some similar discussions with my husband; he
also had some issues about "training", not necessarily sleep training, but sometimes I responded quickly to my baby and he said I was "training" my child to be too dependent. He even got a "training manual" (geared toward people training dogs!) and he gave it to our part-time nanny and asked her to read it! When I got wind of that I "read him the riot act." I told him to get a dog if he wanted to train something!
Bless hi heart, he still occasionally gets some hair-brained idea about raising the kids, but as the mom, I feel like I have to be their last line of defense, even from their extrememly well-intentioned (but sometimes unwise, impatient, or just plain knuckle-headed) father. If I think he's off-base, I'll do some online research - I'll google for "attachment parenting" or the "long-term harmful effects of cry-it-out" techniques, so I have facts to back up my position.
The thing is, nobody *enjoys* arguing with their husband (or in-laws, relatives, daycare providers, etc), but when you stand up for you child, it's an amazingly rewarding feeling. I promise it won't be the first time you go to bat for her. Good luck!
S.W. answers from Atlanta on November 03, 2008
I'm just wondering if she falls asleep for the first time while on the bottle or breast, or after she's finished. Because if she falls asleep while drinking, that could be the problem.. the only way she knows how to get back to sleep. Or even if it's right before... I think maybe I'd try giving her the bottle a little earlier... try to seperate the bottle from the falling asleep process, or you can't expect her to be able to fall BACK to sleep without it either. That make sense? I was a Ferber mom... with great success, but if you are against trying that, I'm sure you will get a lot of other advice here.
B.W. answers from Myrtle Beach on November 04, 2008
I have an almost 11 month old as well. He is my 4th child. I have breastfed all my children exclusively, never used formula. I also co-slept with them for the first 3 months. However, that was always my line. After that it was time to suck it up and get up in the middle of the night for me. And I have to say, most of the time they slept longer intheir own bed than with me at that point. That being said my little one still gets up 1-2 times per night for a feeding. That's quite normal. He's had to sleep with me a few times when we were away from home, and I can tell you he was definitely awake more with me than on his own. And, when he was teeething last month he would have times when we were back to every 2-3 hours like a newborn! ahhh... I don't like the cry it out method either, but I have let them cry a bit to go to sleep, usually not longer than 10-15 minutes. Longer and I would give in. I guess by best advice is to say that he is very normal but that I would suggest transitioning him to his own room. I've always done it at 3 months to avoid them getting emotionally attached to sleeping in my room. My very good friend has a 5 year old girl that is still crawling in bed with them almost every night and my parents have a 4 year old that does the same. IMO this is mainly because they kept her there longer than necessary and then allowed it anytime she woke int he night after she was supposed to be in her own room. I'd rather sleep ont he foor for an hour or two in my kids' room than have them crawl in with me for that reason.
All that being said we all have different beliefs and parent differently. You have to do what's best for your family, but if DH is getting annoyed with it then it's probably time for the move.