November 04, 2008,
T.G. asks from Marietta, GA on November 03, 2008
11 Month Old Waking in the Night
So, I went back and read previous posts and responses to sleep questions and I still have questions! I am a 38 year old first time Mom to a fabulous 11 month old. She is the happiest baby during the day laughing a lot, playing, she rarely cries, she takes 2 45 min-1.5 hour naps during the day. I am going to say right off the bat, I don't believe in the cry it out theory. My nightime routine is I feed her (solid foods), give her a bath, read her a story, give her 7-9 oz of formula. Sometimes she falls right to sleep, sometimes I top her off with a bit of breast feeding. She usually has no problem falling asleep. She does still sleep with me as my husband is a light sleeper and mostly sleeps in the guest room knowing that this is just temporary. She goes to sleep usually with no problem, but she is still waking up 3-4 times a night and she wakes up crying. I try to rub her back, shhhush her, sing to her... anything to try to get her back to sleep without nursing her, but the only way to get her back to sleep is to feed her. Sometimes I use a bottle with formula, but most of the time I breast feed her. I cant imagine how she could be hungry because her belly should be full from dinner and the bottle and breastfeeding. I have her sleep with me partly because I love it knowing she is this precious age for just a short amount of time but also, I work full time and quite frankly, it is easier to tend to her when I can just roll over to her rather than get up and go to her room. My husband is frustrated because he thinks we are not training her well. I really don't understand why she still gets up so much during the night. I plan on nursing until she is 1 - so only one more month and then we are going to try for baby number 2. We would love to get her back in her crib AND have her sleep all the way through the night. Any suggestions?
C.C. answers from Macon on November 04, 2008
Unfortunatly, my advise, from my experience, is that she will probably sleep better in her bed! I have exclusivly breastfeed my son, 12 months, he regularly falls asleep when I feed him. When he was younger we also tried co-sleeping and I found that he woke up 2 to 3 times as much! In the last couple months I have found that he really isn't hungry, he just hasn't yet learned how to fall asleep on his own. As adults we wake (generally not enough to remember) we roll over, adjust the pillow and blanket and snore some more! These little ones can't do all that! Just rolling over is still a feat for them. I have found with mine (I don't cry it out either!) if I go in, roll him over if needed - he's a tummy sleeper, and pat his behind, he is usually a sleep within a few pats. I give him a few wimpers/crys just because I found that he IS learning to fall asleep on his own. When I first started this, it took a little longer and a little firmer pat. I don't have a book or website to recommend... I just try differnt things and see what works.
C.C. answers from Atlanta on November 04, 2008
Let me start by saying that you need to adjust your priorities: God first, husband second, children third, then everything else comes after that. I think you are making a mistake having your child sleep with you and your husband is in the guest room. If you think he is so great, then you should get him back into your bed where that beautiful baby was created, and get your child in her own bed. Your husband sounds like a wise man, maybe you should listen to him and consider another way of training your child. The longer she sleeps with you, the harder it will be to change her habits and get her into her own bed.
You say you don't believe in the cry it out theory, so I don't know how to help you get her into her own bed. She is old enough to make it through the night without eating. Have you checked to see if she has some teeth coming in?? There are some great homeopathic pills (you can get them at WalMart) called Hylands Teething Pills. They dissolve in your mouth instantly (just try one yourself...I did to make sure) and they seemed to help my children during teething periods. This could be why she is waking up. Otherwise, you will just have to withstand a few sleepless nights to show her who is boss. You or her???
I am a stay at home mother of 3 children.
E.M. answers from Atlanta on November 03, 2008
C.J. answers from Savannah on November 04, 2008
My daughter woke up hungry until she was about a year and a half. Just remember that this time IS fleeting and one morning you will wake up and realize you only fed her once in the night or none at all and it will just go from there. I kinda miss those middle of the night feedings. Since you work full time maybe she is waking up to spend a little extra time with you. Get that extra Mommy fix!!!
M.F. answers from Athens on November 04, 2008
My twin daughters just turned 2 and are still not sleeping every night, all night. We are now on a schedule where they wake up once a night sometimes twice. I know a lot of it is their age. This is what we have done to get this far...during naps and bedtime, I started to play a cd that is very relaxing. Anytime they wake up, I restart the cd and lay them back down. This, now, works really well. While driving in the car we noticed which cd worked best and have taken it inside!! I use this as a little reminder that it is time to sleep. I started this when the girls were about 1 because like you, I was sooooooo tired of getting up constantly through the night. It was so bad that my husband and I took turns sleeping on a pile of blankets in their room for about three months. Everyone I have spoken to with young children this age seems to go through the same thing. Sleepless nights and cranky mornings. Best of luck with this!!!
B. answers from Augusta on November 03, 2008
Honestly she is most likely hungry. remember her little someach is only as big as her fist. You could try feeding her again before you go to bed. you can also pick up elizabeth pantleys book, the no cry sleep solution.
C.B. answers from Columbus on November 03, 2008
I have nothing to offer that I am sure you haven't heard or researched already. Only that I understand and in time things will improve.
I am a mommy of 4 and have coslept and breastfed them all. They all were very different and most of the time the things I tried were just busy work. They fell into better sleep patterns in their own time.
Keep up the good work T.!!
C.C. answers from Columbia on November 04, 2008
I know that every child is different but my daughter was up every 2 hours for a bottle no matter how well she ate before going to bed. She gradually went up to 3 hours or 3 1/2 but still I had to give her a bottle. It is normal for a baby to wake up several times during the night for a bottle. Some babies will go all night...the parents to those are very lucky.
You have to remember that they are developing a lot right now and so, they want to eat all the time. It's tiring but, that's just the way it is.
I know you don't want to hear this but your child should not be sleeping with you because it is a very bad habit and is extremely hard to break! Been there and done that.
S.M. answers from Atlanta on November 04, 2008
Kellymom is a great website that has a lot of good advice
about helping infants to sleep gently. They have some excepts from a book by Elizabeth Pantley called "The no-Cry Sleep Solution" - that's a good one that offers TONS of suggestions, none of which involve leaving your baby to cry alone in the dark.
And here's some reassuring information on "normal sleep patterns" of infants. (Basically, there *is* no normal).
"Probably one of the main reasons that babies who don't sleep through the night are such a big issue is that parents don't have realistic expectations of the sleep patterns of babies. "
I went through some similar discussions with my husband; he
also had some issues about "training", not necessarily sleep training, but sometimes I responded quickly to my baby and he said I was "training" my child to be too dependent. He even got a "training manual" (geared toward people training dogs!) and he gave it to our part-time nanny and asked her to read it! When I got wind of that I "read him the riot act." I told him to get a dog if he wanted to train something!
Bless hi heart, he still occasionally gets some hair-brained idea about raising the kids, but as the mom, I feel like I have to be their last line of defense, even from their extrememly well-intentioned (but sometimes unwise, impatient, or just plain knuckle-headed) father. If I think he's off-base, I'll do some online research - I'll google for "attachment parenting" or the "long-term harmful effects of cry-it-out" techniques, so I have facts to back up my position.
The thing is, nobody *enjoys* arguing with their husband (or in-laws, relatives, daycare providers, etc), but when you stand up for you child, it's an amazingly rewarding feeling. I promise it won't be the first time you go to bat for her. Good luck!