June 14, 2008,
T.S. asks from Woods Cross, UT on November 09, 2007
11 Month Old Constant Crying!!!
I can't find a solution in any book or magazine, so I'm putting this questions out to all the mom's out there. I hope someone else has been through this and can help! My 11 month old was a very content, happy, quiet baby. Everyone commented on what a "good" baby he was. When he turned 8 months old, he started having seperation anxiety and it's lasted ever since. But now it's more then that. Not only does he cry if I set him down, or move 2 feet away from him, now it seems like he cries all the time, if I'm not constantly entertaining him. He doesn't seem interested in any toys (and we have plenty!) but sometimes he'll open and shut cupboards or doors, until he pinches his fingers, then he cries harder. He only started crawling about a month ago, but seems to want to walk. He'll stand on his own for a few seconds at a time and "lunge" forward when we hold our arms out. I don't know if he wants to be more mobile, and he's just frustrated? Maybe when he starts walking it'll go away? Is this a stage? Why is he crying ALL the time, about everything? I'm home with him all day, so it's not like he even should have seperation anxiety! Help!
J. answers from Boise on November 14, 2007
Hi! I have found that if one of my girls does that I am too busy at home and haven't found the time to sit and focus on her. I stay home too but at times I get too busy or too distracted by a life situation and although I tend to her physical needs I haven't tended to her emotional needs. I also find it happens more on the verge of a developmental change, illness, or growth spurt. My favorite expert to search out info like this is Dr. William Sears, a pediatrician. Google him and search his site you will find useful information. Good luck!
K.L. answers from Milwaukee on November 13, 2007
maybe as your baby is learning to walk that his (bear with me on spelling) equaliberium is off. i had a nephew who cried alot and they ended up putting tubes in his ears and that took care of the crying. just something to look into!!
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J.O. answers from Boise on November 14, 2007
The problem is not because you stay home all the time with him, it sounds more like he has become dependent on you for all of his entertainment,The only way you are really going to be able to break this is by letting him cry, especially when you know there is nothing wrong, not to the point of hystaria(sp) though, I had the same problem with my oldest, I didn't make the same mistakes with the younger ones.....Thank goodness. How I ended up breaking the older 2 was, letting them cry for say 5 minutes, all the while talking to them, telling them they were ok mommy will play in a minute, I am right here ect,,, then I would walk over play for 5 minutes get up and say mommy needs to do ??? and go do what ever it was, and I just repeated the process and extending the amount of time I would have them entertain themselves, but kept my playtime with them limited, It could be very trying at times but within about a week they had learnred to entertain themselves, This is something I do to this day with each new baby that comes along, I don't really start until they are about 6 months old, cause that's about the age I have dicovered they are most capable of understanding me, and by about a year old they understand "give mommy a moment" and they entertain themselves till I can help them, unless of course they are tired or hungary and then they just don't care! Also give some tylenol or Ibuprophen through out the day he may be teething on top of everything else and that can make an already hard situation worse. Good luck it can get better with patience.
T.W. answers from Lansing on November 14, 2007
This is in no way related to you being home with him. He is 11 months old, and should be home with Mom. In fact research shows the more you are with him the more secure he will be eventually. So, Congratulations to you for being there. I have always been home with my kids and NEVER regreted it. Infact we lived in a neighborhood with no children and never went to a play group. My kids are very social now, and do not have a problem leaving me!
That being said, if you would like to join a play group it will cause no harm, and lets you get out a bit, but if you don't that is fine too. Babies do not "play" with kids at this age, so there really is no benefit to him.
This will pass--give him as much attention as you can. Good Luck!
K.J. answers from Salt Lake City on November 09, 2007
My first thought was whether he might be teething.
It COULD be frustration.
One thing I did with my last couple babies was study sign language. It is amazing how much babies even that young really can communicate. They may not yet have the ability to form words, but can definitely express their needs when given the tools to do so.
Here is just one website on it. http://www.signingbaby.com/main/
There are also books (at the library), etc.
T.S. answers from Kalamazoo on November 13, 2007
I do agree with the other moms, but I also think maybe because you are home all the time with him could be a problem...It is great that you are able to do that, but it can cause him to depend on it. Have you tried any play groups in your area.. If thats not available do you have a couple of friends with kids his age? This would be great as the kids see mommys interacting and they do the same...
S.G. answers from Grand Rapids on June 14, 2008
I only have one child and he is now 11 months old. He is also experiencing separation anxiety and teething at the same time. He is now working on his fourth tooth. What a blast! Lol. I was told to always talk to him and tell him what I am doing and where I am. Even playing peek-a-boo with him will teach him that even though he can't see you, that you are still there. Sometimes he just needs to cry on his own to learn to self soothe and learn that he can play on his own. For the walking, my son is doing the combat crawl and really wants to walk. I walk with him by holding his hands and he is learning to walk around things when he wants something. I just stand behind him and encourage him along. I don't know if any of this will help, but I hope so. Good luck to you.