10Yr Old Step Daughter Is Afraid of Germs. Looking for Suggestions

Hello A.,
Washing hands every five to ten minutes as you wrote in your request is extreme. A counselor already told her mom that "It sounds like OCD".
If this is in fact OCD the best idea is to educate yourself about the problem.
In the meantime...remove hand sanitizer from the house completely. Most are made with alchohol which is making the problem much worse. There are antibacterial lotions on the market. Can you get her to follow up her hand washing with lotion? There are also mild soaps and non-allergenic soaps.
All the Best,
C.
"The typical OCD sufferer performs tasks (or compulsions) to seek relief from obsession-related anxiety. To others, these tasks may appear odd and unnecessary. But for the sufferer, such tasks can feel critically important, and must be performed in particular ways to ward off dire consequences and to stop the stress from building up. Examples of these tasks are repeatedly checking that one's parked car has been locked before leaving it, turning lights on and off a set number of times before exiting a room, or repeatedly washing hands at regular intervals throughout the day"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive-compulsive_disorder

1 mom found this helpful

I wouldn't be so quick to label her with OCD. Is there some stressful things going on in your family right now that would be causing her anxiety? I can remember going through a phase exactly like that. I think I was around 10 as well. I was very much a worrier as a child. There were a lot of stressful things going on in our family, and I think I used the hand washing as a way to feel in control about something. Eventually I grew out of it and do not have that issue anymore. I would definitely take it as a sign that she is dealing with some anxiety. Try to find out what's really bothering her......I doubt it has anything to do with the germs. Having her talk with a counselor on a regular basis might be a really good thing.

It does sound like OCD. You should take her to someone who specializes in OCD right away. I think you should also stop talking to her about using the soap too much. If it's OCD, it's a compulsion in her brain. She can't help it. Don't buy any more hand sanitizer and make certain you have a very gentle and moisturizing soap. Give her the option of wearing thin cotton gloves - this might help control her anxiety.

But get her in to see a specialist. There are some really effective medications that will help her get more in control of her compulsions!

I am no expert at OCD. But this is my two cents about some ideas to help put it into perspective for her. You can walk her through the fact that we can't live without little bacteria, mites, etc. In and on our skin, in our digestive tract especially. It is of vital importance that we maintain the "right" germs to combat the bad ones. Washing with antibacterial soap isn't helpful in two ways. One- studies have shown that they are no more affective than regular soaps to wash away dirt and germs. Two- you need a natural layer of oils to protect your skin. To protect her skin better from the inside, and it also helps mental function btw, get her some fish oil (seattle super supliments is a good source). They can also help explain the use of probiotics to her too.

Here's another thought. It sounds like there is quite a bit going on in the family. Being the oldest has some very unique stresses. Could it be that she doesn't feel comfortable asking for more help/attention in her life and this is one way she is subconsciously asking for it?

It could very well be OCD, my hubby has it. You should have her talk to someone who specializes in it, there are also programs out there to help her cope with it, learning how to not do what she is doing. I'm fanatical about washing my hands too, I use vaseline on my hands when they crack and it always works. In the meantime, you should find her somesensitve skin soap, so it doesn't dry her skin out as bad. Good luck! K.

Has she just learned about germs and bacteria in school? If she did, maybe she just can't stand the idea of "bugs" living on her hands or being on her food. It also could be just a phase. I had a cousin who went through similar sounding phases (with no counseling needed) about washing her face, and another about brushing her teeth (like every hour!). She grew out of it and perhaps your stepdaughter will too. Also, maybe there's a type of soap that would allow her to keep her hands clean that won't cause the allergic reaction...? I would let her know that it's not necessary to wash everything off of her hands (maybe mention the good germs?) but you can really gain her trust by letting her know that if she feels like she has to, to use this special soap so her hands don't get so sore. She is probably going through a tough time herself adjusting to things... I'd just let her know you're there for her and allow her time to get through it. And pray for her :) Couldn't hurt!

I also suggest the possibility that your step-daughter has an emotional disorder such as obsessive-compulsive disorder. I have a friend whose 5 yo granddaughter developed these sort of symptoms. She needed medical intervention to overcome it.

I think Angela's advice is good if her symptoms had just started and had not become so severe.

OCD behavior cannot be changed usuing methods used with children having minor difficulties. She is showing physical damage to her health as a result of her actions. You need professional advice and she needs professional care.

Asking what is in foods is normal and in fact a good way to learn. My 7yo granddaughter asked what held the paper to the cone. I replied that it had to be edible and was probably a sugary substance. Now she rips the paper off and licks the "glue."

My granddaughter has dry skin and eczema. She doesn't like the greasy feel of the cream the doctor prescribed and she has put up a fuss, especially when small, but she will put it on after we insist that she needs to do it for the sake of her health.

She loves playing in soapy water. When her hands get dry she asks for lotion, or gets it herself, because she says the soap made her hands all dry. A couple of weeks ago she told me I needed some lotion when my hands were just a little bit scratchy on her skin.

She is sometimes rebellious and throws a fit especially if someone else has told her she needs to do such and such. But the usual behavior is one of co-operation even after an initial refusal.