I have a few concerns. My son who just turned 10 is having alot of problems in school. A litte history: My former husband/my sons father died when he was 5. So I put him back into a full day kintergarden class along with counsling. He was doing great until 2nd grade where we had some problems with a teacher not letting him use his fingers while he was doing his math. His grade droped to an F. We got that straighted up and then we ended up having to move during the middle of his 2n grade yr. He finished the 2nd grade with great grades. Well here is where the problem is. Starting the 3rd grade at a fairly new school. he started out wonderfully then as the year progressed we have had a lot of problems for example, acting out in class, not paying attention, pestering kids at lunch and durring lessons. Well we met with the teacher and she said that He was doing all of these things and not bringing home papers and completing homework at home. He never brought any home! She also sugested for us to buy a supplement called focus factor because of him have a concertration problem. Well that stuff did not work. So we decided to do an assinment book so we could be sure to check and sign off on any homework. Well that worked great. But we are having to reteach all of his homework to him everynight. We do homework from the min he walks in the door after school until he goes to bed usally every night. We only take breaks to go to the bathroom and eat dinner. Then if he doesnt get finished by 9:00pm I write a note for him to bring it home the next day for us to finish it! He is just not understanding it at school. What do they do for 8 hrs durring class for him to have this much homework. he is in the 3rd grade!!! So after many more meetings with the tearcher and the principal. We opt to have him tested for a learning disability. Well we tested in the first part of Nov and just got his results back. He does NOT have a LD. So then they sugested to have him tested for ADHD because of him having a lack of concentration. So I have now made an appointment with the doc to get him tested. Should I try a new teacher, change teachers? She seems to not have anything good to say about him, everyday in his assn book! There is not any praise on what he does do good!I only hear about the bad! We do NOT want to put him on medication because of the side effects. Does anyone know of any other way to boost concentration with out medication. Or have any sugestions on where I need to next. Im am really at my last straw with everything we have done in this situation. He is not a bad kid. He loves his sports footall and wrestling. Please help if you can.
Thanks for listening!
C.
Hi C.
Have you tried some type of martial arts for him? Two of my sons are in karate and it has really helped with self-disciplne and concentration.
The homework he is receiving sounds out of hand. I would meet with the principal and point out all the written negative things the teacher has been writing and then ask for a new teacher.
I have two children with ADHD. I was very opposed to medication but did not find anything else that worked. Keep in mind that true ADHD is a difference in brain chemistry. . . so while you can do things to cope and to learn to work with it, those things will not correct the difference in brain chemistry. What most of the medications do for ADHD (the stimulants anyway) is stimulate the brain to produce more of the missing chemicals. For us, the medication has been a lifesaver. It was a very difficult decision and a very difficult process (finding the right medicine and the right dose) but it has made a huge difference where nothing else did. Contrary to a lot of the rumors that float around, our children are not zombies and their are not perfectly behaved on the medication either. The main side effect for us has been loss of appetite.
I have a 6 yr old son whom I had the same problems with in Kindergarten last year. His teacher was the same way and I took it offensively. I even reported her to the principal because I thought all she wanted to do was put my son on meds because she didn't want to deal with him. He was soing the same as your son, not concentrating and acting out, disrupting the class, not staying in his seat, talking loudly. I refused to listen to the teacher because of the way she was towards us.
Now he is in 1st grade and his new teacher said he is a very bright young man who may need to be tested for ADHD because he is showing the signs of it. She was filling out a report for another child and my son was fitting in the categories. I trust this teacher because she was my other son's teacher too and she is a wonderful teacher.
I had my son evaluated and he is now on Ritalin ER 20mg of a morning before school, Ritalin 10mg at noon and Risperadol 0.5 at night so he can rest and he is a totally different child. The meds really helped him. The teacher started doing behavior charts daily and he has been bringing home great ones for a month. He is also reading at a 4th grade level and above all the other children in his class.
This may or may not help but I felt I didn't want to put my son on meds but I am so glad I did. He used to have bad temper tantrums and shake real bad but now he don't. The meds work. Just takes time to get the right meds for your son. Hope all goes well for you.
I agree with you that there should not be so much homework for a 3rd grade student...going to school all day and then homework all night is ridiculous! They need time to relax and time to play as well as learning. If there is no praise for their efforts, they wont be eager to learn and I would have another talk with the teacher and see if you can observe the class and you will see if she is encouraging the students to learn as well as helping them when they don't understand an assignment and giving praise when it is deserved. If the teacher gives up on them they will give up on themselves. If you are not satisfied with the teacher's way of handling these things after observing her, then change teachers if possible. On the other hand, if he was doing great in the beginning and then his grades began to fall, maybe he is not being challenged and he is bored with it. My son began to daydream and he became too social and got into trouble with his teacher because he would get his assignment done early and he got bored and restless. I had him tested for the gifted program and he thrived there. If it isn't that, you might also consider a tutor for him, sometimes children in higher elementary grades help younger students. You might ask if they do this at his school. It irritates me that it seems that ADD/ADHD is the answer to every behavioral or learning problem or reason a child isn't doing as expected! I commend you for not wanting your child on medication unless it is absolutely the one and only way to help him! Good luck and I don't mean to offend parents of children with ADD or ADHD.
Have you ever thought about homeschooling?
If you're having to reteach him everything at home anyway, it probably would be actually quite a bit easier just to teach him from home to begin with. Most kids are usually done before noon in homeschool, then he'd have plenty of time for playing and sports and whatever he likes.
As for sports, if he's involved in them at school, a lot of local rec departments have a lot of sports available for his age group. Also, a lot of private schools will let a homeschool kid join their team - and even a few public ones.
I know homeschool may not be for everyone, but from your description it might be something worth considering - at least for a little while...
My 11 year old son was having a lot of the same kinds of problems adn they all started in kindergarten. We thought maybe it was the teacher or his living situation. He came to live with us full time near the end of first grade and he was already on his second school. When he started 2nd grade, in his third school, he had a great teacher who knew the problem right from the start. We tried everything we could before finally taking him to the dr. to have him formally diagnosed and to get him real treatment. I will tell you between his therapy and the medication, which he has had no side effect from and he has been on it for 3 years and is already starting to take decreasing doses to get off meds for good, his grades went to A's and B's from D's and F's. He has made friends, with kids who are not in trouble all the time, and he is getting class work done at school. I know you don't want your kid to tke meds, they really will help and the possibility of side effects is actually very low. Good luck and I hope this helps.
C.,
If there is a school counselor at your son's school, you might consider meeting with her/him, if you haven't already and see if she/he might have some suggestions for how to help your son be successful in school while still allowing your son time to be a kid. It sounds as though he might be overwhelmed with the amount of schoolwork and he has very little time to play and just be a kid. We had a similar issue with our daughter at that age. Although she wasn't acting out in class, she couldn't concentrate and felt overwhelmed and we were spending hours on homework. Testing for an LD turned up nothing and she does not have ADD or ADHD, but she was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and depression. We worked with the school to reduce her homework to half in order to lighten the burden on her her. You might consider talking with the school to see if they might do an individualized education plan (IEP) for him and reduce his homework to a more manageable level for him. You might also consider putting him back into counseling for awhile or at least talking with his doctor. Even though he had counseling after the death of his father, and did well for awhile, there may still be some issues that he is dealing with because of losing his father, which could interfere with his ability to concentrate and could cause the acting out.
If your son really wants to change classrooms, then you may want to ask that he be switched to a different teacher. But if he doesn't want to switch teachers, then I wouldn't switch him. Give him praise at home when he is trying to do what he is supposed to do, and if he gets upset that his teacher never has anything good to say, let him know that you see how hard he is working and you are proud of him for his efforts.
Praying that it all works out for your son and for you.
Blessings,
T.
www.MomRN.com
Have you looked into his diet? He sounds like our 6y/o. We saw a fantastic Dr. Stephanie Cave in Baton Rouge. Along with many specific supplements after bloodwork, he went on a caseine/gluten free diet (no dairy or wheat products). I wish I could say that it has been easy...nearly everything is homemade and fresh, but it has helped considerably. We are still working on concentration...he's taking several high quality fish oils and is making progress. But we found he had mercury poisioning (from immunizations) and now that this is getting out, we are seeing some good behavior, w/0 the ADHD meds that he was on for a year
I'm not sure what your son's diet consists of but I do recommend an Omega 3-6-9 supplement which can help boost brain function. Also adding Mona Vie can help with concentration. Message me about the Mona Vie, I can get you some if you'd like to try it.
I also just posted more information on another message here titled "ADHD" at http://www.mamasource.com/request/recent/73701/1173127263/5.
M.
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