10 Yr Old and Cell Phone? - Fort Wayne,IN

Updated on April 21, 2011
A.M. asks from Fort Wayne, IN
21 answers

Our 10 year old has a cell phone...let me explain:

We have the cell phone and we allow her to use it maybe once or twice a week...never after 8 p.m. We send it with her to her girl scout outtings (and her leaders are okay with it) just in case they finish early. She maintains good grades... She is as responsible as a 10 yr old comes.

However...my mother-in-law is constantly on me about how she is too young, it causes drama, etc. It has yet to cause any drama. I just dont understand why my MIL won't let it go.

What would you do?

Thanks in advance for your thoughts!!!

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

I would just say, "When and IF it becomes a problem, we'll deal with it. She's been extremely responsible with it so far."

My son got a cell at about the same age and I never had any problems with him using his phone. He doesn't text, he's never gone over his minutes.
Some kids do go overboard with their phones, but not all of them do.

Best wishes.

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

A.G.

answers from Houston on

My 8 year old has a cell phone, she was promised one for her birthday if she kept up strait a's AND did all her chores every week. Guess what? she did. and if shes out of line we threaten to take it away, its a great bargaining tool. My 8 year old is also as good as an 8 year old can get, mostly she texts her 3 "bff's" and calls her daddy and great grandma more now. Its 10 dollars a month and i dont think its exactly a bad thing to allow.

She actually used her "savings" to get a better phone, a touch screen phone. Mostly she plays "angry birds" on it. I was skeptical about allowing it for her (probably for the same reasons your mil was skeptical) Who that age really needs a cell anyway. But if you really want to think about it who needs cable, a bike, dvd player,a wii, a gameboy, or aqnything these days that is so readily given.

On a different note...think of all the tragedy that could have been prevented had some kids had cell phones, They could call 911, and some of the fancier ones(like my daughters) have a tracking system like lojack. Seriously, when the use is monitored it is not likely to be harmful. But when taught to use properly could be definitely of benefit.

I dont think you caved, and neither did i.

5 moms found this helpful
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K.U.

answers from Detroit on

The next time MIL brings it up, just tell her, "Thank you for your sharing your concerns, but we do have ground rules in place and DD seems to handling them just fine." And if she still says something else, "Sorry, but I am not going to discuss further."

And if this is your MIL, can your husband say something to her?

5 moms found this helpful
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D.P.

answers from Seattle on

I agree w/ JessicaWessica. Tell your MIL the decision you made is working for your family and you're not going to change it. Move on to another topic. If she brings it back up, remind her that you're not going to talk about the cell phone anymore. Change the subject again.

4 moms found this helpful
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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Say, "thanks for your opinion, but we have decided she can have a cell phone." And then change the subject.

4 moms found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I think that if she only uses it a few times a week, that is different than letting a kid have free rein with a phone. My stepdaughter did not need her phone at 10 and treated it like a glorified toy and it was soon forgotten/broken. She was dropped off at school by someone, picked up by someone, and when she went to friend's houses, they weren't far and we knew where she was. She had no need for a phone. I think most 10 yr olds truly do not need them. You might remind her that your DD only uses it for x purpose and is not set free with the phone at this age. Then you might have to agree to disagree. My stepson, at 13, was not only walking home alone, but had after school activities and really did need a phone to let us know if an activity got out late, etc.

3 moms found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

sorry- I agree with your MIL. Your 'reasons' for her to have one do not hold water for me. She really needs to take a cell phone to her girl scout outing??? Maybe if you just admit to your MIL that you bought it for her because she wanted it and all the other kids have one she would at least accept it. For me-the most irritating part about little kids having cell phones is their parents attempts to explain why they have it. I would definitely rather hear the truth: You caved. Sorry if that offends you.

3 moms found this helpful
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K.P.

answers from Seattle on

If you feel that it is okay for her to have a cell phone then so be it. Who is anyone else to tell you that she shouldnt? Especially your MIL. It is your child, and its your call. It seems like it is being used responsibly and she doesnt have it just because "everyone else's kid does". She has good grades and its used to contact you. Tell your MIL that you apreciate her thoughts and advice but its what works for you and your child, and that is final, but thank you. Next time she brings it up, ignore it. After a few times of not feeling validated for her comments she will get the hint and stop asking.

3 moms found this helpful
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S.E.

answers from Wichita Falls on

We had 'kids' cell phone for years. It was only an addtional $10 a month and we would send it with them anytime they might need to get a hold of us (there are almost no pay-phones anymore). We were able to call the cell phone company and program a half dozen numbers they would actuallly need in it. It was more for peace of mind than anything else. When MIL complain , ignore her. Alot has changed since she was raising kids

3 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

The need for a cell phone is different for each family. I know we needed one because we were in 3 places at one time, for most of our waking hours.

We also had tons going on and responsibilities to too many other family members that we are responsible for. , so we had to have a cell phones for each one of us for true communication reasons. .

Try to find a payphone. Good luck with that and then some of them will only accept certain cards, not change. Schools do not always allow kids to use the school phones and once the buildings are locked, there are usually no payphones outside of the school .

When people used to tell me, I would never..children and phones, silly, waste of money.. .. cell phones, are ridiculous, blah, blah, blah, I used to wonder why they had to tell me? I did not care about their kids were never going to need a phone.. and I do not know why they cared we did because I knew we needed it for our family's communication and to feel safe. .

Just let her think you are listening and say, "oh, yea, you have already told me that." Then just go on about your business,. Could be she does not think you can hear her.

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L.M.

answers from New York on

My girls got their first cell phones around that age. They were mostly for me. I wanted to be able to get ahold of them. I wanted them to be able to reach me to let me know they needed to stay after school, they ran into traffic on the way home from a school trip, etc.

Tell MIL she has a cell phone for her safety and your piece of mind. If MIL doesn't understand that, then tell her "well you're the only drama it's caused so far".

2 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

You do what works for your family. If your MIL has an issue with it, let her get one more vent out about it, thank her for her point of view, and then kindly tell her that you'll think about what she's said but that you and your husband have already made the decision and are happy with it. Then you change the subject. From that point on you don't acknowledge the subject when she brings it up. Just pretend she said nothing by bringing up a different topic. She'll eventually get the picture and stop trying.

2 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

MIL needs to butt out because it is not her daughter, not her immediate family and not her business.

What you do with your family is your business. You have to do what is right for you.

My 16 yr old daughter had a cell phone at 10 and I don't have to explain to anyone why.

I see all these MIL issues on here.... I've been married 23 yrs, never met my MIL, she has passed now. I am thankful I don't have those issues.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.D.

answers from Dallas on

It's none of her business. You are the parent and what you say goes. She can get over it.

I have a MIL that sounds just like yours. Makes me crazy.

1 mom found this helpful

L.B.

answers from Biloxi on

Smile and nod when your MIL expresses her opinion, then just keep doing what you are doing. Sometimes, it easier just to ignore than engage.

You have the cell phone under control and all that matters is it works for your family.

God Bless

1 mom found this helpful
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K.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

My 10yr old has a phone - she often has to walk alone in the dark from my car in the parking lot to the pool for swim team. We chat on the phone while she walks. She also uses it when she goes on sleepovers to text "goodnight". I feel better knowing I can reach her if I have to. She doesn't go crazy with calling and texting and when she talks on the phone with friends, it's on our home phone, never on her cell. It's a different world from the one we grew up in and I see absolutely no problem with a responsible 10yr old having a cell phone. Tell your MIL "No, it's NOT too young. There are many great reasons for a 10yr old to have a cell phone. Plus *cellphones* do not cause drama - *dramatic people* cause drama. Like the drama YOU'RE causing right now."

1 mom found this helpful
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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

My son has had his own cell phone now for a few years (he's 8). He uses it daily. It has yet to create any problems or drama (save one time when he got banned for a week for breaking the use rules, and low and behold 3 years now without him breaking our use rules).

My suspicion is that, like my mother, yours remembers when cell phones cost as much as computers and only high 'ranking' or wealthy people had them / had use of them. The general public having easy access to cell phones is something that some people are still in 'awe' or 'disgust' over... but these days you can get an iphone for $50, a lot of people in my gen don't even have landlines. (because they're so much more expensive than cell phones)

So too, a lot of people don't get their kids phones until they're teens... so they rebel and rebel and rebel (with their phones, clothes, friends, whatever is handy) & go NUTS over having them because they're some kind of "prize" instead of drop dead NORMAL. Younger children don't have the same issue with cell phones that teens do. Parents' word is still law AND it's just... as I said... NORMAL to them.

Your MIL is borrowing trouble that doesn't exist for your family. Either out of her own beliefs surrounding cell phones OR from people with teenagers/media about teens.

Don't sweat it.

<grin> And for the teen years... you remember those commercials that used to run? "It's 10pm do you know where your child is?"... or arguments with your parents about them not knowing if you were 'dead in a ditch somewhere'. With tracking tech... you NEVER have to wonder where your children are. And with young ones, it's a handy way to ease the whole 'kidnapping' fear / is my babysitter -dcp- playdate parent taking my kid off and about without permission / allowing them to phone home if there's a problem.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.W.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Cell phones, internet, GPS, Google, iPods are all wonderful inventions we can take advantage of for little money. My daughters phone is $25/month for everything including her data plan. I can reach her at any time except when she is driving. It gives us great peace of mind. She was hit in her car at school in February and was able to reach me right away. That's priceless! If it's not causing drama or being abused, I say go for it. When I had my first cell phone 15 years ago by bill was $500-600/month (I'm in sales). Times have changed, tell MIL that this works for your family.

1 mom found this helpful

C.C.

answers from Visalia on

I feel a 10yo would be better trained than my older teen, who text and interneted my pay check away with her cell until i did the data plan.

1 mom found this helpful

N.G.

answers from Dallas on

I personally wouldn't get a cell phone for my ten year old either, but it's nobody's damn business if you decide to get yours one! What does it matter what she thinks! Tell her that she raised her kids, and the benefit of you getting to raise yours, is that YOU make the decisions!

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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

It's your call, not her's. Your husband should address this with his mother. Personally, I wouldn't give a cell phone to a ten year old...again, she's your kid, not mine.
Blessings.....

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