10 Month Old Sleep Problems

I don't have any great advice for you, but I can imagine how frustrated you must feel. I was quite fortunate with my little ones but when I did run into trouble I sometimes looked on the website www.sleepsense.net. The lady sells a program, but she also has a blog where she answers tons of questions and that is free. Someone may have asked a question like yours that she answered--worth taking a look.
Good luck!

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Hello LR,
I am a mother of 3 and breast-fed all of my children until they were at least 2 years old. My suggestions: make certain your daughter's tummy is full before she goes to bed. My favorite book is Super Baby Food by Ruth Yaron. It provides detailed guidelines as to how much your baby should be eating, what type of food and how to easily and inexpensively make your own baby food. Try putting her to sleep on her tummy. Babies digest better and sleep better on their tummy. She is probably crawling and standing at this point anyway. Have a bedtime routine that she can expect. You are right not to let your baby CIO. It didn't work when we tried it for a short time with our first. No one got any sleep and it was very stressful for all of us. To relieve the discomfort of ear pain, try Ear Support by Hyland and putting Garlic Oil/Willow Bark ointment (available at health food stores) in her ear to rid her of the infection. Also, what type of meds are you giving her before bed? The reason I ask, the pharmacist told me that some medicines will interfere with your sleep and contain caffiene-like substances in them. It very well could be the meds. When my kids had colds, they would nurse more often because they were thirsty (foremilk). Likewise, when I have a cold, I often get up and have water in the middle of the night. I hope some of these ideas help! Get some sleep mama.

Do you allow her a pacifier? I know a lot of parents are against them, but honestly, unless you want your child glued to your breast every time she needs comfort, they are a godsend. Here's what we did with our son. I would nurse him, give him his paci, (and one to hold), then lay him down while he was still awake. Then his dad would either sing to him or read him a story. It was easier to have dad do that part at first so I wouldn't be tempted to pick him up and let him suckle. Here's the important part, we would let him suckle himself to sleep with the paci. When he woke up in the night, unless he needed a feeding or a change, he would cry for a moment until he found his paci, or the spare, and then fall back asleep. We never allowed him the paci outside of nap or bedtime, and with it, he learned to soothe himself back to sleep, without mom or dad having to hold him. As far as weaning him from the paci, he did that on his own. We simply cut him back to just one, and told him if he lost it, it was gone. He tossed it about the time I weaned him, when he was 2. Hope this helps, and good luck!

You've gotten a lot of advice already, so I figured I'd throw in my two cents, which you can take for what it is worth. A little about me, I am a mom of five kids, all breastfed for at least a year. Since I was never able to sleep while one of my kids was upset/crying, I never used the CIO method. Instead, I always reminded myself that the sleeping "problem" would eventually resolve, and that since I had more coping mechanisms than my babies, I would figure out a way for everyone to get more sleep. And sleep is very important for me, and any new mom too! While no one has said it yet, it deserves to be said that any habit can be broken, so don't beat yourself up over "bad" (whatever that means!) sleep habits for a baby. Everyone wakes up during the night, and eventually everyone figures out how to soothe themselves back to sleep. Your kids have a lifetime to become independent, so you could cut them some slack during the first year of their lives and allow them to be dependent on you, for a little while at least.

If the baby is sick, then have a doctor handle the illness and/or wait for the baby's body to get better. Since I always like to be comforted when I am sick, I always figure my kids would like comforting as well. Therefore, you need to decide how to comfort your child while getting more sleep. Now this could be considered controversial, but remember, this is your family and your household, and whatever you decide to do needs only be known by its members. Lots of folks brag on CIO, but lots of others quietly go about doing whatever WORKS for them. Ultimately, taking care of yourself and getting enough sleep to function well trumps your perfect mommy image. If you get some sleep, that idea will make perfect sense (tee hee)!

As for practical considerations, have you considered nursing while lying down in a bed (not necessarily your bed)? That way both you and the baby will get some rest while the baby gets nourishment and/or comforting, or what she needs. Even if you can't/don't want to sleep with the baby next to you in a bed, you could always wait for her to go back to sleep then transfer her back to her crib. The baby will go back to sleep sooner if she gets to nurse, lie down and be near her favorite person all at the same time. If you wait for her to get all keyed up with crying, the soothing will take longer and you'll get less sleep. My kids always nursed more when they were sick, having a growth spurt (to be expected, albeit rather short-lived), or facing a new situation (like a move). This phase will not last forever, and as she gets older, she will sleep longer -- trust me, they all do!

Secondly, and again, this could be controversial to the super mommy sensibility, during my kids' first year of life outside the womb, I operate on "mommy mode" especially since I am at home during the day like you are. Mommy mode means I don't have to be a sparkling intllectual wit or solve complex world/business/life problems during the day; instead I can focus on things like laundry (which I could almost do in my sleep at this point), feeding my kids, playing pat-a-cake, watching Dora the Explorer/pre-school shows (a great time to take a refreshing twenty minute nap on the couch while the kids are cheering Dora on/ "developing problem-solving skills") -- you get the point. A SAHM's work is a marathon, not a sprint, and you're on-call 24/7, but the work is fulfilling and rewarding, even if not intellectually challenging. Bottom line: you don't need to employ your genius skills for mothering, so don't worry if you're a little tired. Take naps when you can, and relax and enjoy this time with your babies. The rest of the work will be there and you will get it done when the nighttime restlessness passes AND this too shall pass! Besides, the prolactin (hormone responsible for milk production) is going to make you feel "muzzy"-headed, but also more relaxed. God knew when He designed us what we would need to do as mothers/nurturers.

I'd hate for you to give up nursing when you're so close to what will likely be a natural time for weaning. All infants soothe by suckling, and mommy's breasts are the preferred method (for most infants anyway -- IMHO), but you could always substitute with a pacifier if that is what you want to do. No one needs to know exactly how you soothe your babies. That is your business. If the baby is really hungry during the night, then feed her (solids or milk) closer to bedtime and see if that helps her sleep longer. If she just wants some mama love, then decide whether you want to give it to her or help her wait until you're ready. As for my lying-down nursing suggestion earlier, I would just qualify that by saying you probably don't want to do this if you (or anybody sleeping in the same bed) take anything that would impair your ability to wake up (for example, alcohol, sleeping pills!, cold medicine, other drugs, etc.). You obviously want to have all your faculties when you're lying down in bed with your baby.

Finally, I'd just say to do whatever works for you and yours! If you have a nosy person who needs to know everything about what goes on in their household (and you don't want to lie to his/her face), then simply smile, nod and say things are going along as well as could be expected. Everyone learns how to sleep and get back to sleep eventually (my oldest, the 11 year old can sleep through anything, and has been for YEARS)! Remember, the pediatricians define a baby's sleeping through the night as sleeping for (only) a five hour block of time. You, however, can structure your and your kids' sleep time however it works for you. You can institute a daily nap/quiet time, during which everybody sleeps, including you. Conversely you can limit daytime sleeping for the baby in order to tire her out for a longer sleeping stretch at night. A bedtime routine is nice if it works for you, but it doesn't have to be a slavemaster. Kids need to learn to be flexible as well as independent. So, in the end, do what works for you and your family, and remember, nothing about this time of your baby's life is permanent. You're her mom, and you get to guide her through this stretch of her life. Enjoy it while it lasts!

Hi L R
sorry to hear you are having these issues. I think the first thing I would do is try to eliminate the issues that could be causing her ear infections and allergie problems. Most likely this issues could be from what she is breathing or inhaling from the residue in her clothing and bed linens- I would look for some detergent that has no fillers, chemicals or toxins that remain even after lots of rinse cycles- it may take a little while for the symptons to dissappear but they will- then I would start putting her on a bottle- if ou have to pump your milk for the bottles that would be better than getting up all hours of the nites. If you PM me I an give you a website that can give you information about some products that would help your baby get some relief. All natural and proven but I just cannot tell you from this site.
good luck and blessings

For the ear infections, take her to a cranial osteopath. They're fantastic with babies and small children and can fix the ear problems fully and quickly (probably 2-3 weeks).

For the sleeping issues, once you are sure she's not waking due to illness, do whatever you did with the first that worked. I'd let her cry it out. You all need sleep, more than she needs the breast at 3am.

LR, before you tackle the sleep problem, you should tackle the ear problem first. Both of my children had chronic ear infections. I highly recommend you talk to a pediatric ENT about a solution. Find out if tubes might be a good option. My daughter had tubes and life was SOOOOO much better after them. Having non-stop fluid in the ears can delay speech, walking and sometimes cause other problems. Now, don't let me scare you, she may not be to the point where tubes are needed. I'm just saying it's worth looking at. My first child slept through the night at 9 weeks of age. My second was 11 months!!!!! Ugh, it was a long year. She was a sickly child and this is pretty much why. We created bad habits because I was worried about her. Once the illnesses were mostly under control, I tried the cry it out method. I failed many times before it worked. She just became ridiculously hysterical and would push her head into the corner of the crib. Then I would give up and try again a week or two later. I started doing this at 7 months and it finally worked at 11 months. Now, I have a fantastic sleeper who is well adjusted!!!!! Yippy! ...there is hope. Don't give up the nursing!!! It's not about the nursing. It's most likely related to her ear infections and allergies. By the way, when I gave up nursing her at 19 months, she immediately started to get sick again (w/o ear infections, fortunately). Good luck. I hope you get some sleep soon.

First of all, I completely commiserate with you. My daughter didn't sleep for more than 3 hours at a time for 10 1/2 months. I highly recommend The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. There are all kinds of great suggestions in there. I also recommend Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems by Dr. Ferber. If you are going to do CIO, I strongly advise following the original guy's program. CIO can actually be a very compassionate and effective plan. However it is meant to be done in small amounts and with lots of reassurance, not leaving a child to cry for long periods of time. This was the only thing that worked for my daughter. Please, oh please, do not give up on the breastfeeding. You can get through this and still give your baby the incredible benefits of breastfeeding. Hang in there!

Try this for the ear infection if you cannot get results with your ped.
http://www.seagateproducts.com/earache-remedy.html

I had the same issue with my baby - he got into a habit of nursing all night. But, we have been using the Baby Whisperer book to sleep train. It is very gentle and effective.
It is by Tracy Hogg. Get your husband to rock him back to sleep between the hours of 11 pm and 5 a.m. As long as she is getting enough food during the day, she should at least be able to take a 6 hr stretch without eating. And if hubby cannot calm her down within 1/2 hour, go ahead and nurse her. No sense in letting her struggle longer than that.
Hope this helps!

One thing you could try, i did this and it worked. try to limit the amt of time you nurse, like for example, start with only nursing for 3 min each time at night then take her off and lay her down, then reduce to 2 min in a few days and so on. eventually she'll just sleep thru it. i committed to do this with my daughter for a week and was able to eliminate a feeding at night (she's 5 mo.) i know its so hard to lay there and let then cry when you could just get them back to sleep and yourself back to sleep, but in the long run you'll get wiped out.

The cry out method works most of the time but if not, have your husband try putting her back to sleep till she gets the point that she doesn't get to eat at all hours of the night! If hubby does this, it might help since he can't feed her.

Wow, sounds like you have got your hands full! I'm just going to throw you a new idea that might be a lifesaver! Try chiropractic! It works wonders with babies/kids and ear infections. It also helps with colic/reflux. Try it. My kids are 100% healthy due to it. We go to a great family chiropractor in Cypress. Discover Chiropractic ###-###-####, or try www.maximizedliving.com to search for a great family chiropractor near you. I cannot say enough about the benefits. Good luck. Hope that at least gives you another alternative to research.

I have done the same thing!!! Don't be so hard on yourself. Our youngest was doing great at sleeping until he started getting lots of ear infections at 9 months. I had him in bed with us, sleeping upright in his swing near our bed, my husband would drive him around in the car at 3am and then we'd carry the car seat back in to try to get sleep----you name it!!!
We felt horrible 1) from lack of sleep and 2) like the stupidest parents in the world. At one point, I thought i was getting depressed b/c of so little sleep. And I could NOT cope well with my older children (toddlers), either.

Our wonderful pediatrician at the time ( a mom of 3 herself) told us to take care of the ear issues/ the illnesses first and take care of the sleep later when all is better. Babies feel terrible pain from earaches. Do what you can to keep them comforted and sleeping. Our youngest needed tubes in his ears at 16 months. It made all the difference. After the surgery, and we knew he was better, then we handled the sleep issues! Now he is 16 years old and we can't get him up!

P.S. Sleep when you need to...nap if you can! You will find that you make much better decisions if you can get more rest.

All I want to say is that I understand and have been there. Hang on. Follow which routine suites you best no matter which one it is. Stick with it. Make sure you are taking naps too. Maybe get Grandma to take over one night or two to allow you to get some sleep. You are not a bad mom and sleep deprivation will affect all areas of your life, including your husband. Make sure he understands you haven't forgotten him, you just need some sleep. Hang in there - but make time for sleep. Sleep deprivation cost me my sanity temporarily. It's soooo important. More important than if your baby is crying out of habit. You are loving your baby more than you can know by getting yourself some sleep. Don't feel guilty. Just do it. It's the best thing you can do for everyone.