10 Month Old Not Sleeping - HELP

My son didn't sleep through the night until he was 14 months. I tried everything people suggested. Just like your daughter, he wanted to eat a whole bunch, even though he got a ton of food during the day. And then one day he just slept through the night and has ever since.

My personal opinion is this: kids will sleep through the night when they are ready.

A suggestion about the bottle during the night. Slowly dilute the formula every 3 days by a quarter. I did this, and even though my son still wanted a bottle at night, he didn't drink as much, and slowly, an empty bottle was his 'lovey'. In fact, I ended up giving him straight water during the night after about a week, and once he went a few days without getting the formula, that's when he began sleeping through the night.

I hope you get it figured out soon, cause I know from experience how exhausted you are!

Put her on a schedule (ie; eating and/or formula every 3 or so hours)if she isn't already, for lots of reasons you can probably research online. At 10 months, she needs 24-28 oz of formula plus 3 meals/day (they don't have to be huge meals). This will ensure she has enough calories during the entire day, so you can feel good about the amount she's getting and rule out the hunger thing at night. Sounds like the bottle is a pacifier, but I do see the need to eliminate the hunger issue first. Good luck--this worked for us w/ my almost 10 mos old and she has been sleeping like a champ since 12 weeks.

Hi H.-

My son did not start sleeping through the night until right after her turned 10 months. I started with going in and not giving him the bottle- they are old enough and not hungry but I did the same thing as you and would feed him. So I would go in for the first week and rock him to sleep without the bottle. I also started a ritual of bath, book, bottle and bed and kept the same thing every night. He was still waking up a ton but I would not feed him. I could not really let him cry it out either because he would throw up and my husband gets up at 4:30am and needs sleep. So one weekend my husband said he would go in and rock him so he did. The next week he starting sleeping more and more and finally the following weekend he let him cry it out- it was 20 minutes and it was a cry I knew was okay we had to do that a few more times for like 15 minutes and it finally worked. He sleeps through the night now and gets up at 5am but hey at least it is not broken sleep. I read every book out there and the whole babywise thing was not me- I found the book the baby whisper and loved it- great combination of cry it out and family bed so not extream and it fit me great- good luck to you
B.

My sons did not sleep through the night until he was 18 months old. He had medical issues so I let it slide for a long time. He actually acts more like a 10 month old. But the way I got him to sleep through the night was I gave him a bottle of water when he woke up. I can't stand to let my little guy cry and up until this past June it was Dr's orders that this child was NOT allowed to cry...the one time we let him belt a good cry out, he ended up in the hospital for 10 days and 4 surgeries...so you can see crying it out was not an option.

So when he goes to bed, he gets a bottle of milk. This is anywhere between 8:00-9:30 pm. If he wakes up between then and 5 am, he gets water. If he wakes up after 5 am, he gets a bottle of formula. If you have been giving your little guy formula all night long, he has to get used to eating more during the day to compensate for it. Water is a great thing to use. Pretty soon he will sleep through the night.

Now that my little guy can cry, if he doesn't like the water, I give him 10 minutes, then check on him again. Doing this every 10 minutes. After 1/2 hour, I'm done. I put him in bed with me calm him down and right before he's asleep, I put him back in his bed. He usually goes right to sleep. I have done this max of 5 times in the last 4 months. On an average he sleeps from 9:00pm to 6-7 am. It takes time...image how you would feel if you keep this up until he is 18 months old...it is very tiring, try to nap while your kids are...if nothing else, but a movie on and sleep on the couch. It's amazing what even 10 good minutes can do to help you survive the day.

My boys didn't sleep through the night until around 2 (actually they still don't always but they're old enough to settle themselves down again). Each baby is different as to when they start sleeping all night long.

I would put water in the bottle at night. She may not be hungry, just want to sucking/comfort. She's getting to an age where milk at night is not a great idea - especially if she takes the bottle herself. Babies will fall asleep with a little milk in their mouth (or continue sucking asleep and get more). Littl teeth bathed in milk all night can lead to tooth rot, so you want to avoid that!

You may also want to introduce a 'lovey' for her (blankie or toy).

Massages, make sure she is being held enough during the day. This may not cure it, but try, it is very healthy and bonding for her, especially lots of skin on skin contact.

Also check out the baby whisperer.

My little Dash didn't sleep. Starting at about 9 months I began letting him cry it out. He cried for about three hours every night until about 14 months. I don't know what was wrong, I don't what I could have done, I didn't sleep while he was crying. If I could do it over again I think I would have just set up a bed in the spare room and cuddled with him at night. Now he's three and sleeps just fine, but the time goes too fast and I miss my baby.

Good luck

I loved the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby." It really helped me to understand what our children need. I was against "Cry it out" for a long time. Finally until my son was 15 months old. But I was desparate because I had a new baby. SO I told myself that my limit was an hour. It was soooo hard, but after an hour, he stopped crying. It's been three months and he still cries sometimes for a few minutes, but he sleeps SO much better. Now I wish I would have done this earlier so I could have gotten some sleep before my newborn came! lol.
But a big part of our problem was that he was not going to be early enough. So I finally put him down early - at 7:30, let him cry for an hour, and he slept. He still woke up in the night, but I didn't go in there. He cried for an hour in the night too. Now, he cries at the most, 1 minute in the nighttime. They are pretty smart. They know that if they cry, you will come in eventually. My husband did this the other night, and we had to retrain him for a few nights cause we messed up once. So it is REALLY hard, but that's what we did. Like I said, I loved that book. It helped me to understand a lot. And it also gives great tips for each agegroup. The only problem was that I had to read a lot of it before I could put everything together. I just wanted someone to tell me what to do! But after I finally read it, things changed around here! :)

Hello H.! I read all the posts so far, and I think that you should try the Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child book. He's a MD who did tons of research on kids sleep habits and what's appropriate sleep for each age group. According to him, by 9 months they do not need to eat in the middle of the night. We had to do this with our first child, and I am betting we will have to do it with our now 4 month old. The instructions are to not go to them AT ALL during night time sleep. This just reinforces the night waking habit and doesn't let them learn to return to sleep on their own. With our now 23month old, it only took 2 nights of him crying. And it wasn't even the entire night...he actually slept well. After it was over, we were amazed at how quickly he learned to sleep through the night and we wished we could have done it sooner! It's hard to hear them cry, but it doesn't last long if you do it correctly (don't go to them at all during night time sleep time). Get the book. It's amazing the sleep you will all have afterwards!

does she go to sleep well and on her own when you first put her to bed at night? My daughter (now 21 mos) was still getting up to nurse about once a night at around 9 mos... then i went back to work and that increased to 2-3 times, after a couple weeks, something had to be done. i was still nursing her down at bedtime, we changed her bedtime routine, i stopped nursing her down... and after a few fussy nights, she was able to put herself to sleep. being able to settle herself down, actually solved her other nighttime wakings.

I do not think she needs a bottle that many times in one night. She is in a pattern which you created, (sorry not to pin it on you) but now she is used to eating during the night. You are going to have to break the pattern in order to change her sleep habits. Start taking away one bottle at a time. You may have to let her cry it out. I had to do the same with my daughter and she has slept thru the night from 3 months on. Not sure what else you can do. She is just used to it now. Hope that helps.

First, stop giving her a bottle, she is using that for a crutch and a soother, not to eat a meal.
At 10 mos she should be able to go all night without eating.
My children did not sleep through the night until 10 mos but after that I did not give them anything to eat, if they woke I would peek in on them, try to figure out what was going on and put them back in their crib awake and let them get themselves back to sleep.

Kids change sleep patterns a lot, and growth spurts and teethin are the number one culprits in waking in the middle of the night, if she is teething (which very possibly is the problem) then she will reprogram if you stop feeding her as a comfort or to go back to sleep. Also putting rice cereal in her bottle adds to the chance of decay on her baby teeth not to mention will not help. Make sure she has a hearty meal before bed and that is all she needs.

My son was almost 9 lbs at birth, so I know from experience, the bigger they are basically the more they can hold all night. He slept all night at 9 mos. If she is teething the bottle may be providing some relief from the pain which is why she is taking it. She doesn't need it though so there is a difference.

There is not a set age kids sleep through the night, some very early, mine waited a while but do not use a bottle to get her back to sleep, that right now is setting yourself up.
Try giving her tylenol, teething tablets or motrin (which lasts the longest) to help her before bed. Let her fuss, your son is probably so used to it and can sleep through the night by now fine. My kids share a room and my daughter slept right through my son fussing.

Sleeping through the night is something a baby learns to do. If you let them they can learn it, but sometimes the only way to let them learn is to leave them there even if they do cry. By 9 months or so, babies don't need to have those middle of the night feedings. Also, be this time both you and your baby are more on the tired side more than likely. My second child was waking up several times a night for 8-9 months and I could see it taking a toll on my body. I finally just had to leave him alone all night and let him cry till he fell asleep. He actually learned farely quickly to put himself back to sleep. Once they learn that your not going to come to them, they will learn to just go back to sleep. As for the older children, it may wake them at first, but they will usually get used to it and just go back to sleep. Good luck.

my doctor always talks to me about routines. the way your baby has learned to fall asleep is the way she thinks she needs to fall asleep when she wakes up in the night. everyone wakes up in the night including babies. If you are giving her a bottle when she initially falls asleep then when she wakes up in the night she can't just roll over and go back to sleep, she doesn't know how without a bottle, so she cries for 15 min and gets a bottle and can go back to sleep.
She doesn't need to eat in the night, she is old enough. you just need to change her initial falling asleep routine. You will probably have to let her cry herself to sleep for the first couple nights, but my doc says that after 3 nights of doing something they will get it.
I hope this is helpful. my daughter just turned 1 but she has been sleeping 12 hours a night since she was about 7 months. It is well worth it to let her cry for 45 min. - 1 hour for 3 nights to be able to get lots of sleep after that! i know it is always easier said than done, but i would hate having to get up that many times a night especially to make a bottle too!
good luck!

Hi H., sounds like this must be frustrating for you. I do not think that your baby needs to eat at night unless she is underweight which you said she is not. From what I have researched majority of babies should be able to sleep through the night by six months unless they are underweight. My guess is your daughter is waking up for food because she is used to getting it. I would suggest not feeding her at night anymore. It will be rough at first but after awhile she should get used to it and hopefully not wake up. At this point I think it is ok to let her cry though I understand your concern for your other children. I would suggest maybe going in there and reassuring her after crying for a few minutes but try not to take her out of her crib or feed her. Good luck!

I highly suggest you stop feeding her at night and try and comfort her more.
If she must eat NEVER give rice cereal in it!
It really is bad for a child and very old school. My pediatrician said it is a bad idea and teaches their body to get more calories too fast! It will lead to food issues later on and her need to eat too much at a time when she gets older.

Have you tried white noise in the room?? I have a fan in my little ones room and she loves it. It give just enough consistent sound that is drowns out the outside noise and takes away the noise of silence... if you know what I mean. Silence can be loud at times :)

I'm not sure what else you can do. I am sure some mom will have ideas, but I know for a fact that putting rice cereal is a bad idea and also letting her go back to bed with one is just setting a bad standard for the future.

My son is 8 months now, and the Dr. said it is more important for him to get good sleep than to eat during the night, and so I don't go in at all between 8 and 5 unless he's sick or teething. I just let him cry and now he doesn't wake up at all. (starting at 6 months they are old enough) I know not everyone agrees on letting kids cry but there's plenty of research on it, thousands of babies in various cultures over the last few decades. And my parents did it to me, lol. My mom used that to comfort me when I was afraid my baby would hate me for it. It took about 3 nights for him to get it and start sleeping all night. Now he sleeps from 8pm to 6:30am.

P.S. if you go in after 20 minutes of crying your baby will cry that long. If you go in after 1 hour, he will cry for 1 hr. That's why I don't go in at all. My son would seriously cry for 4 hours if he thought I would eventually come in. Now he realizes sleep time is sleep time. Some moms do the go in and comfort and then leave but for my son it's like teasing him because he thinks if I go in it's play time. I like The Happiest Baby on the Block or Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child for good resources on sleep.

I would try just calming her and not giving her a bottle. Babies can sleep through the night by 2 or 3 months without any problems. Our three have with no problem. The key is giving them enough calories during the day and then not giving in at night. It will probably be hard for a few nights, but she should settle into a new routine fairly soon. GL! I hope you get some sleep soon!

She definitely ought to be able to sleep through the night. Sleeping through the night, technically, is sleeping for more than 5 hours at night. My babies did it at about 6 weeks. You must be dying!
I made sure my boys (who are always ravenous) ate a lot of solids in the evening. I even changed their dinner time. They weren't too hungry at our dinner time, but would eat some table food (which she should be eating at 10 months) and then I'd give them a meal about 1 hour before bedtime. It helped them sleep longer (like from 9 pm until 7 am, instead of waking up at 5 am).
But I doubt she's really all that hungry. Not enough to wake up 4-5 times a night.
She also shouldn't need very many bottles at all. Most of her nutrition should be coming from food. Bottles are fast becoming a beverage. You can try weaning her off the bottle, to a sippy cup. It's not as comforting, so she won't use it as a pacifier.

Crying it out won't always work. It was perfect for my first, but did/does not work for my second.
Try going in and holding her, but not giving her a bottle. She'll have a learning curve, but she needs to learn to go to sleep without food. Do a miniature version of your bedtime routine.
I hope you can start getting some sleep! You deserve it!

It should start to taper off soon. Both my kids were big eaters, my son especially. He was very big. And both woke up at least once a night for a bottle. My daughter was up every 2-3 hours while I was nursing, and that dropped to 2 times a night when I started her on formula, and then by 11 months it was once a night, and after her first birthday, she was sleeping thru the night. Some babies really are hungry, some just want comfort. Try eliminating one bottle. You can go in and rub her back for a while and be there for her, but don't pick her up and don't talk to her too much. See if that works. You can also start bringing in just water in her bottle. She might really need one bottle in the middle of the night but not 4. She is having a hard time moving thru sleep cycles. She just needs help getting herself back to sleep without a bottle.

Have you ever tried BabyWise? I don't agree with everything mentioned in these books but it's scheduling system based on getting babies/children the much needed sleep they (and you!) need. The basic steps: During the daytime feedings, keep baby awake 10-15 minutes after feeding and keep awake during feeding. As a nursing mom this means I feed both sides, burping between then we play together for a bit and then if he's tired, he'll take a nap. This also keeps from 'nursing to sleep' and tiptoeing around the house to avoid waking baby. You know baby will sleep because baby is tired. You also know if there is something else that might be wrong. Second step, try to get on a 3-4 hour feeding schedule. This is easy if you're giving full feedings. Third step: Nightime feedings, including that last one of the day when it's time for baby to go to sleep, feed baby and put right to bed. They begin to develop a schedule and before you know it they have night and day all figured out! We have been using this system for our 6-month old and he was sleeping five hours a night at 2 months. Now he sleeps from 10 at night to 6 in the morning give or take a half hour each way. And he is such an alert, happy guy during the day!! We get lots of comments about what a content, happy little man we have. We have also never had a 'cry to sleep' session. I know there's lots of controversy about this book but we followed the basic idea in the book and certainly didn't use it as a 'religion'. The scheduling idea has been a dream for us and our baby was 3 weeks premature. We also had a month and a half of nightmarish breastfeeding problems. I wish you all some sleep soon!

Based on my own experience (3 children, 3 different experiences including one like yours), I'm betting the bottle is not for hunger, but she finds it what she needs to soothe herself back to sleep. It's a rough road, all that weaning stuff, but it passes.

My little guy did this. He would go to sleep well but would wake several times during the night, fussy. Didn't think much of it, thought "normal for him, hope he out grows it!" He also snores. One late night on an unrelated sitation we ended up in the ER with him. He fell asleep in Daddy's arms in the bed. The Dr noticed he would snore A LOT. We told her he always has. She said babies are not supposed to snore. Then we all got to watching him really closely and noticed he would stop breathing. The time between breaths would get longer and eventually he would stir and fuss. Dr said he has sleep apnea. We brought him to our bed so we could watch him more closely. He has out grown the snoring and seems to have stopped the apnea.

Just food for thought. My situation might help.;-)

Try putting camomile tea, after it cools down, in the bottle in stead of milk. Maybe if she realized she is not going to get milk she will not wake up as much. As long as she is getting enough to eat during the day she should be okay. Also, she may be pacing herself during the day and not eating as much so she can be with you alone in the middle of the night. Also try getting the book The No Cry Sleep Method. I am using it now and it is helping with my 5 month old. My 3 year old was not a good sleeper and I am determined to help my second daughter be a better sleeper. It is working, slowly but surely.

Have you started her on any solid foods yet? Maybe you could give her a bedtime snack and a bottle before bed. She could be waking up hungry. My oldest did not sleep through the night until he was almost 3 years old. We found that if we gave him some fruit and milk right before bed he would sleep through the night. It doesn't hurt to try :)

She definitely does not need a bottle that many times a night at this age & weight. I've read every sleep book ever written - or at least it feels like it. I've tried it all & I found a method that works WONDERS. I found it with my first & ever since all three of my kids have been great sleepers. I love the Ferber method. It is very common sense & developed by a sleep scientist. The whole explanation is in his book "How to Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems." But here is the gist of it...
1)have a routine for bedtime and naps
2) have a set sleep schedule - keep their naps & bedtimes the same every day
3)don't put them to sleep with anything that won't be there in the middle of the night when they wake up (because they will wake up - we all do & they need to be able to put themselves back to sleep) - so no rocking, bottles, music, etc. - nothing that will require your intervention in the middle of the night
4)teach them to fall asleep by themselves without any of the crutches described in #3 above. You do this by putting them in their crib, saying goodnight & leaving. If they cry, let them cry for a couple of minutes & come back in. Soothe them for a couple of minutes & leave again. Wait a few more minutes than you did the first time and if they're still crying, go back in. Repeat the process increasing the amount of time you're out of the room each time. Your child will learn that you are coming back - so they don't panic. It may take awhile for the first few days, but the amount of time it takes them to go to sleep quickly shortens. Do this every time you put them down & every time they wake at night. You will see a huge improvement within a couple of weeks.

Good luck! And if you have any questions about this, please feel free to ask. Or pick up the book - it explains things a lot better than I do.

My son did not sleep through the night until he was 10 months old. He was breastfed, but that was all that seemed to get him back to sleep. But...he was also a big baby, healthy, content...I finally accepted the fact that he didn't need to eat, but simply needed to learn to put himself back to sleep on his own.

What worked for us?

Nursing right before bed

Calm, soothing routine including bath, lotion, jammies, books, rocking (always the same - at about the same time)

Pacifier - we put several in his bed so that he would always be able to find one during the night

Cry it out - finally had to do it....felt like torture - but really onlly lasted about 8 minutes the first night and got easier and easier from there

It worked! He is 2.5 yo now and a GREAT sleeper!! (and has been since 10 months!)

Good luck and try to hang in there.... :o)

At 10 mo's, are you feeding her any solids yet? She maybe a child in need of a bigger dinner or a good snack before bedtime Is the fomula soy based? If so, consult to see if other soy formulas can woek. Both of my children were soy but as soon as it was possible, I weened them off and started whole milk along with solids.

My son did this same thing - I was sleep deprived until they were about 16 months! I hated hearing my sister and others talk about how their babies sleep "through the night" at 6 weeks, etc. What helped for us was to stop putting formula in the bottle at night. Try just warm water, and also try a sippy cup. I would try one at a time, maybe put water in the bottle first and then after a couple weeks start putting the water in the sippy cup. Probably still give a formula bottle once during the night, depending on what time she is waking up. I also agree with the other responses about making sure she gets plenty to eat before bed. Some baby food fruit or veggie thickened with rice cereal is what I used to do. Hang in there, good luck; I have SO been where you are, and thought I would never survive! Also, try what you can during the day to get some rest for yourself; put on a movie for the boys and take a nap while your daughter naps or something along those lines.