10 Month Old Not Interested in Breastfeeding?

Updated on April 11, 2009
C.R. asks from Everett, WA
15 answers

Hey mamas!
I am still breastfeeding my 10 month old daughter, but it is becoming a HUGE struggle! She nurses well MOST mornings or when she's very sleepy. Other than that she's usually totally disinterested. We can get her to eat a bottle of pumped milk pretty easily, but nursing is nearly impossible. She started getting distracted when it came to nursing around 7 months, but often now she will refuse even when she seems hungry. She sometimes will suck for a couple of seconds and stop and then it pours all over us, but usually she just refuses it completely. I get SO full of milk and have to finally end up pumping. I had major issues with my milk supply when she was first born, so I'm super worried about running out of milk. I'm also worried she's not getting the nutrition she needs. She sleeps through the night, so she doesn't eat anything between 7pm and 6am. She's a big baby (in the 95th percentile for height and weight) and is growing, so I guess that's not the biggest worry. I just don't want to "dry up." Any suggestions? Thanks mamas!

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D.E.

answers from Seattle on

C. -
Hang in there! 9-10 mos. of age is a really common time for babies to go "on strike" with breastfeeding, and that is not a sign that she needs to stop. Don't worry; just wait it out. If she's prone to distraction, perhaps give yourself the space to go nurse in a quiet room once or twice a day. Since she's in the 95th percentile and growing, you're pumping when you're full (thereby simulating demand) and your milk squirts out all over when she does get distracted, it sounds like you can free yourself from concerns about nutrition and supply. Certainly if concrete concerns appear (like you really do see a change in supply, she's not thriving, or you or your/her doctor are concerned about her growth and health), it would be time to reevaluate. But for now, it sounds normal, if annoying...

Many blessings,
D.

M.B.

answers from Seattle on

C.,

It sounds like she's weaning herself. Both of my kids weaned themselves at 9 months old. My son refused the breast stronger than my daughter. Once it became a fight just to get him to nurse for even five minutes I gave in and switched him to formula until he was a year old. After I stopped fighting him he was happy again. Same with my daughter.

Hope this helps,
Melissa

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H.D.

answers from Portland on

C.,

Some kids are just done with nursing far sooner than we are ready for them to be. It sounds like your daughter is more interested in being physically active than being stationary, which nursing requires of her. While this is a wonderful natural development for your daughter (in contrast to having the tears and tantrums that sometimes accompany parent-initiated weaning), it sounds as though your concerns and the discomfort of being engorged is making this a hard time for you.

Something to consider: when we introduce solids, we begin the weaning process, whether we think of it in that light or not; we are appropriately providing our children with food from sources other than ourselves. In regard to nutrition--you didn't mention which solid foods your daughter is eating. Nonetheless, if she's getting solid food enough that she's full all night (not waking due to hunger), she's likely just fine. I would talk to your health care provider about any nutritional supplements she might need. But chances are, if you are pumping and she is eating solids, she's fine.

I know it's hard to hear now, but one day you might look back and chuckle at all of this. How often do we read that a baby is comfortably beginning to wean herself and sleeping through the night? :)I hope these posts provide some reassurance. I'd also recommend letting your daughter lead this process of deciding how much she is wanting to nurse. A naturopath, herbalist, or lactation specialist may also be able to provide you with some herbs to lessen you milk production when you are ready. Best wishes!

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W.C.

answers from Seattle on

She is weening herself down to fewer breastfeeding times. This is normal for her. In order for it to be less painful for you during this time, you need to stop pumping. The demand being less, you need to supply less. Also remember at this age she is very efficient at nursing and will get a lot of milk in a little bit of time.

Let your DD guide you in what is right for her.

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C.A.

answers from Portland on

I know it's heartbeaking but she's telling you she's ready to move on. Conntinue to pump and have your moments with her giving her a bottle - this will also help you in the drying up process - but you can't force it.

She will get the nutrition she needs - if you are really worried pump as much as you can and give it to her in a sippy cup or a bottle or mix it into her foods. But trust me she's ready to start in on solids full time. She's probably ready to move onto some regular milk which will get her the nutrients she needs. If really worried you can get multivitamin drops to go into her milk or if she's ready gummy vitamins for her to take.

I know it's really rough - I dread this time coming for me. But move along with her and you'll get through this - best of luck!

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N.D.

answers from Seattle on

Hi there..so I know that around 7-8 months babies tend to start nursing less...they don't require as much.
At 8-12 months they need 3-5 nursing's or 24oz of formula in addition to baby foods (fruits & vegetables..and baby cereal)
Are you feeding her other things too? My daughter will be 8 months on the 14th and she started refusing the breast at around 4 months..my goal was 1 year, but I'm happy with 5 1/2 months,I too started out with very low milk supply..my milk didn't come in till about day 14 after she was born. I would sit and pump for 30-45 minutes and slowly it got down to maybe 1/2 an ounce per pumping session so I finally gave up around 5 1/2 months...at least she got the important stuff in the beginning. I wouldn't worry so much about her not getting all the needed nutrients if she's a big baby...they will let you know when they are hungry. Or just pump and give her the breastmilk through a bottle, at least then you would know how much she is actually getting.
My daughter has anywhere from 5 to 10 4 oz bottles a day plus 3-4 things of baby foods daily and happy to say she is finally 19 pounds...she was underweight for a few months..not sure if she still is but at her last checkup her dr was happy with her weight...

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E.W.

answers from Seattle on

This also happened with my son. He was jut too curious about the world around him to want to lay next to mama. We kept at it as best we could until 1 year, because I had heard you should not give cows milk until then. But looking back maybe I should have just accepted his preference. maybe you could talk to your doctor about a transitional fluid? Or maybe you should just give her breastmilk in the bottle? I found that my milk remained a few months after stopping.

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C.N.

answers from Seattle on

She's ready to stop breastfeeding. Children are really good at determining their nutrutional needs, they stop eating when they are satisfied, they regard food as fuel, unlike adults who learn to use food differently. Your daughter is healthy and doesn't seem to need breast milk any longer. If you have concerns make an appt. with your pediatrician to discuss her nututional needs.

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A.M.

answers from Portland on

Hi C. - How painful and frustrating that must be for you! I wish you luck on this question because people tend to use this topic to argue about whether it's normal to nurse your kid until they're old enough to drive or is it better to just hook 'em up to the pig out back. Yes, obviously an extreme on both sides, but I didn't want you to know what one I was. And THAT is the point. It often times doesn't matter what the actual question is, people just hear the word breastfeeding and it's off to the races!Please take these reponses at face value and do what's right for you.

SO - back to the question. Your kid doesn't want to breastfeed anymore. How long has it been going on? If it's a day, could be that she's in a mood. If it's a week, it could be that she's weaning herself. And while it's always harder on the mother emotionally and physically, it may be the right time for her. Have you started introducing babyfood like rice and bananas?

If your real concern is that you're going to run out of milk, than there is nothing wrong with pumping and feeding her via bottle. And the great part is - Dad can participate too. But if the other concern is that you just plain miss that closeness than I totally get it! It's the first pull away from Mama that we go through prior to kindergarten and onward.

Best of luck!

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A.S.

answers from Eugene on

I'll admit upfront that I'm an advocate of "extended" breastfeeding. I wouldn't just wean her. I would suggest stopping the bottle, because milk comes out of a bottle too easily without her really needing to suck. If you get engorged and she won't nurse, you could pump a little to relieve the discomfort, but not give it to her in a bottle. I would suggest nursing her to sleep for naps and sleeping with her at night, if you don't already. And nursing at quiet times in a quiet room, and maybe, for a while at least, offering her the breast before offering her food. It's true they are very busy exploring the world at this age, but there are so many many benefits to breastfeeding longer that I would hang in there and do what I could to continue breastfeeding. I would also consider whether there may be other factors involved, such as what's going on in the environment, anything about your relationship with her, maybe even something you're eating that makes the milk taste funny?

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K.B.

answers from Seattle on

My baby was less interested in breastfeeding for a while at around 10 months - I continued to offer and pump and then he became really interested again after a few weeks or a month. He definitely nurses less often, but since then it has been a gradual decline. I guess my point is that she isn't necessarily weaning herself - it's possible that she is just so distracted by the world around her that it is hard for her to focus. I would go into a quiet room with just her and see if that helps. That made a big difference for us - my son nursed just fine once there weren't other people or distractions around.

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J.R.

answers from Portland on

Don't take this the wrong way but stop!

if your baby dose not want to breast feed any more
stop.
she was trying to tell you at seven month's.

there are so any ways she can eat.
listen to her.
Listen to what her needs are she is telling you
just listen.

You can find other ways of feeling her and keep the love bond.
try other thing's like formula, reg milk, she should be eating some kinds of jar foods now or staring to?
10 month is still a little one I know, but you don't need to be B-feeding if she is not wanting to.

if it's that you like having the milk in your breast
there are a lot's of mom that need help with Breast milk
feeding their babies.

And there is nothing wrong with your baby or you
she just wants something new she's telling you
mom I want food
I'm getting bigger and older I don't want your breast milk.
It dosen't mean I don't love you mom I just would like to try something new OK!
Remember she need you, your love, hugs, kisses,and all the time you can give her. She just dose not want to breast feed, and there is nothing wrong with that, someday you will have to stop, she's just telling you I'm reading now That means you have to be to.
hope I said something helpful. Remember Listrn to her, there may not be word comming out of her mouth yet
but she is talking to you.

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S.W.

answers from Seattle on

You didn't mention where you are breastfeeding her? I would try sitting in a low lit room with no other distractions to feed her. If that doesn't work then I think you just have to plan on pumping and feeding her that way. My son weened himself at 11 months. She may just be losing interest in it. I know it's sad for you, but you can still give her the nutrients through pumping and solid foods. If nothing else think of it as an easier transition to full time solids. My daughter was really hard to get her to eat solids and she breastfed until 15 months. There are challenges either way. She also didn't sleep through the night until we stopped breastfeeding. Given that your daughter is in the 95th percentile she probably doesn't need as much milk as you may think. Let her listen to her body cues about hunger and keep pumping so you have a supply when she needs it. good luck!

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K.M.

answers from Seattle on

Be happy you can still pump. My daughter started refusing to breastfeed when she was 10 months old, but my supply wasn't conducive to pumping - I would literally get 2 oz after an hour of pumping. My daughter also wouldn't drink formula and still refuses milk - all types. When she self-weaned she told me she didn't want to breastfeed by biting me. I wouldn't worry. Pump while you can, I would give her that in a cup so you don't have to transition from a bottle later.

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J.K.

answers from Seattle on

Going through some of the same thing with our 11 month old. I've found that nursing when he's hungry BEFORE feeding solid foods helps. Nursing in a quiet room helps a lot, too. I used to be able to just nurse here, there, and everywhere. Now, though, he needs to be in a quieter place to avoid distractions. Hope that helps!

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