10 Month Old Insists on Being on Her Feet. Should I Get a Harness? Help!

We had a harness for my youngest. Not only did she not want to be in the stroller, but she wanted to run away from us at lightning speed, usually when we were in a large crowd. It was the most nerve-wracking experience taking that child anywhere! Anyhow, once we bought the harness, life became easier. I knew she couldn't bolt, and she knew she could explore to her heart's content (within a certain radius of me, anyway =). Of course there were people who would give me nasty looks, but you know what? People give you nasty looks no matter what you do, anyway. Just ignore them. Better to have a child in a harness than to have your child run off an possibly have something terrible happen!

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I used a harness with my son at age 2. People who judge usually don't have children that have no fear of running at full speed, running off on their own, and climbing. I received dirty looks from people at times, but I would rather get a dirty look than a hurt (or worse - missing) child. I didn't have to use it for long either. It really helped in teaching him to stay close to me.

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I'm not sure how it's mean to get a harness (Stacy H said it was). It's safe and so convenient. I plan on getting one for my son once he starts walking. I would get one.

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people will tel u how mean it is to get a harness, but i know how u feel. i had to do the same thing with my son when he was little! people told me he wasnt a dog he didnt need a leash and blah blah blah... but im all for the harness, byt she wont like it either. but she can still walk around with it on and stay somewhat independent. it took my son some time to adjust to it, best of luck

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mine walked at 9 months. and yes, i encouraged it lol. how nice for you not to have to carry her everywhere! and yes, she is plenty old enough to understand "no". if she doesn't obey "no" (which she should be getting of practice at this point) then you carry her or she goes in the cart. worst case - back to the car and home you go. this is where it starts. also, hand is always held in parking lots. she just needs to learn the hard lesson of doing what you're told, in general. if she doesn't "get" hold mommy's hand - then you show her and make her do it. there should be no negotiation for her safety. yes a harness is a short term fix, but i would not use it. well, i didn't. if you do get one i would use it as little as possible. focus on getting her to behave without it. it will benefit you both far more in the future. i wouldn't say that a harness is "mean" or "barbaric", BUT i think in 99% of cases they are unnecessary and just a way to cut corners on discipline. good luck!

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I have a now 7yr old that was the same way at 9 months old. I did use a body harness in public. The store clerks thanked me because she used to wreck the place.

The more you have to use "stop" and "no", she will pick it up by the tone in your voice. I found it best to re-direct my daughter's attention when she would not stop reaching or grabbing things she shouldn't. I would carry a few of her favorite stuffed toys so she would have her hands full.

Sounds like you have a pioneer on your hands. Adventurous children are fun, but are also the ones we have to exert the most energy to keep safe. Good luck.

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i think a harness is a great idea. having had a little one (and not even a particularly wiggly one) disappear in a twinkling in a department store, causing near heart failure, i think safety trumps what judgmental folks think.
dogs too can be trained to walk without a leash. but until they're there, everyone is happier if they're safely contained.
yes, children are not dogs, but we're all mammals. it's not an insult to a human child to note that training dogs, horses and small children have some similarities. in most cases horses are smarter and more likable than most humans.
i also disagree with the advice to teach your child early that she has no choice. it makes it easier to parent to have a sullenly obedient child, but our goal is to raise adults who make good choices. a good choice for an active pre-verbal child is 'do you want to ride in the cart, or walk by me with our loveline?'
khairete
S.

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N., you are right that she is too young for all the "no's". You also want to try to teach her what to do and not do without saying "no" so much. In the stores, I would only take her in for very short jaunts, as ways to acclimate her to being out. And keep her in the cart. She is just too little for you to allow to walk the aisles, harness or not. Part of the conditioning is to not let her think that she has a choice in the matter. So what if she screams. It's kind of like allowing her to have whatever she wants in the store if she screams for it. You never buy something for her if she screams and cries for it, because it will just happen everytime you go to the store. Same idea applies to not allowing her to walk around. Always keep her in the cart, and don't let screaming and crying allow her to get her way.

The understanding comes later. Meanwhile, what you say goes. And mean it, N.. You have to be the consistent one, even if it's hard. Her safety depends on it, and having a child who learns you mean what you say depends on it too. It will help keep her from having tantrums when she hits the terrible two's as well.

Good luck,
D.

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What will you tell her when she is 16 and wants to know why its not ok to go to a drinking party? you just have to tell her no repeatedly. she will get it eventually. It is hard when they are screaming and arching their backs. But it is safer for her in public places to be restrained. so if you have to give in to her tantrums then yes get the harness.

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At 10 months, they do in fact understand NO. Just keep on repeating it to her, she will get it.

Unless you truly want to have your hands-full, you need to teach your daughter to sit in the shopping cart. I still make my 30 month old sit in them, and I carry my 10 month old. It's hard enough concentrating and making sure you get everything, let alone having to worry about what the toddler is taking off the shelf!

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The time I watched a toddler bolt for traffic and heard that mom scream (and felt my heart stop) I knew I didn't mind harnesses, leashes, backpacks, or whatever would keep that child safe. The baby was fine, that mom was LIGHTNING. I'm not sure my heart has ever been the same.
People who make comments, take her off the leash and hand her to them. Then try not to laugh. Or let her swallow anything tiny, or trip and faceplant on the concrete floor at the wholesale club, or dive under a cart driven by a speed demon, or the famous bolt for traffic in the parking lot... If she's not responding to no then you have to keep her safe until you can teach her better. That smile says she is responding to you, you just need to work on it more. You're not condemning your child to life on a leash.
I think a leash in a store might be a little hard, she'll just be grabbing everything. Maybe try a backpack. I would guess you tried a sling and it didn't suffice for an active baby.
Do not fold on the holding hand thing, it is a safety issue and she has to learn. Put in the time and patience to get her to hold hands. There will come a time when she's with a sitter or daycare or someone else and has to be able to hold hands.

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I second the backpack idea. My daughter walked at 10 months, and refused to ride in a stroller, but loved the back pack. Maybe you can borrow one and try it before investing? If it works, it seems safer than letter her walk in public. Even with a harness, I'd be worried about her falling, or someone bumping her.

Good luck!
Jessica

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They have cute little backpacks at walmart for toddlers that look like animals and have a lead attached so you can keep a hold of her while she is on the go. They are in the infant section at our Walmart.

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One of my children walked at 8 months-it was so precious to see such a tiny little person walking! Anyway, he, too, needed a harness in public-it offers safety and balance and the freedom the baby is seeking right now. Try to set up your house-so that the "no" word doesn't begin to be an endless string of something that quickly becomes meaningless and ignored.

mine kept falling because she wasnt used to it i guess she would walk one way and run out of lead and get all messed up. so try it for awhile til she's used to it to see if you like it.

Before I had children I used to think harnesses were strange. Just as I judged everyone who had a child doing something crazy - until my own daughter cleaned the glass door at Gymboree with her tongue while I put on my shoes....

Anyway, if it makes you feel safer get the harness. I did like what one poster said - about how it might cause problems in the future (as far as discipline, etc.) I guess what I would do is get the harness but continue to explain how she just can't run off etc. - until she is truly old enough to get it. Definitely enforce the hand holding, even if makes her scream. That one is just not negotiable. Put her in the harness and then hold her hand while crossing the street or the parking lot. Then you can give her more leeway when you reach the other side. Good luck :)

Our daughter walked at 6 months so I know exactly how you feel..
We would let her walk as much as possible.. we discovered she loved the back pack and looking over our shoulders.. She would stand on the bar under her feet.. I wish they had the stand up strollers, I think she may have enjoyed it.. Maybe borrow the back pack carrier and a stand up stroller and see if either will work for her..

If I went by the experiences I had with my own dd's, I wouldn't have understood a need for a harness. It wasn't until I met a friend with a little one who started walking at 6 or 7 months that I knew these little spit-fire speed-demons existed! My mom told me my oldest brother was like this, and I blew her off thinking she was just exaggerating. But when you watch a kid who's not even 1 just go and go and go and get into everything within seconds, I was in awe. How can he do that, and how does she cope? Needless to say, when they go out, he has a cute little bear harness. I suppose he settles down after an hour or two of constant running, but his parents are exhausted. I don't judge the harness anymore and am grateful to have the regular run-of-the-mill kids. Still, the backpack is the way to go. I liked my Gerry light framed backpack. Very light and easy to load and lift by yourself if you have to. I was sad when my dd outgrew it. Good luck!

sounds like a harness would help but counting to 3 and then discipline worked with both my boys. it gave them time to decide if they wanted to mind or if it was worth the discipline. one they usually grin and 2 they ponder and then mind.

or better yet have her be a big girl and help you push the cart. she will feel big and keep herself harnessed at the same time. I seen a mom do this the other day and the kid was having a blast.

a harness is okay, I think. Also, you could award her with something she likes -- even if it is a treat -- when she sits nicely in the stroller until sitting in the stroller is very positive for her.

My son also loved the hiker pack. But we also had a harness and still use it, he is two.

I had to read the answers you received because my youngest (11mos. now) started walking a month ago and is now non-stop. She has been able to get into a standing position (buckled tightly) in a grocery cart for several months. I may have to consider a harness for some shopping trips. After reading some of the posts, I think I may look into getting her one of those backpacks. My boys were just starting to walk at her age and not nearly so stubbornly independent.

The issue I would have with the harness is she will be very hard for others to see since she is so small and she might get hurt by a cart or someone walking by. Just a thought, may not be a worry.

My daughter was an early walker at 9 months. I refused to get one of those things-just my opinion, but our kids are not animals. No offense to people who like them, I just don't. I started just that early telling her that she doesn't have a choice. She has to sit in the cart. She learned very quickly & the screaming didn't last long. I was also able to distract her. Patience & toys. I would just keep telling her that I understand that she doesn't like it, but I have shopping to do & she can't run. She may not have actually understood the words, but she did learn that I wasn't going to let her go. Yes, there was some screaming, but not for long.